Wrath

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  Mr. Steyer said, “I would never have even considered moving to a place like this if it hadn’t been for Kitty.”

  “It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Steyer.”

  “Oh, please,” she said as she motioned for our coats, “please call me Kitty.”

  “And I was going to say the same thing. Please call me Jackson.”

  “All right,” Chastity spoke for both of us as we followed the Steyers to a seating area where an unobstructed view of the southern part of the island was sprawled below us. A million city lights glimmered in the darkness of early evening. The Empire State Building glowed in gold, and beyond, One World Trade Center shined bright.

  “I would never get anything done.” Chastity shook her head as she turned from the windows. “Seriously. I stare out my office window all day, and it’s nothing like this.”

  Kitty laughed. “And we have these views throughout the condo. It’s hard to do anything in any room. I’ll have to give you a little tour.”

  “I’d love that,” Chastity said.

  “Well, first, let’s have a drink,” Jackson said. “I want to, once again, congratulate Xavier.” He paused. “Kitty, did I tell you what a star this young man is?”

  “Oh, yes.” She laughed. “Many times. According to my husband, you have quite a future with the firm.”

  “Thank you,” I said, my voice steady, concealing my excitement within.

  A young woman entered with a tray of champagne, and then we all toasted to Christmas, the coming new year, and all the wonderful things beyond. As Chastity and I sat on one sofa and the Steyers sat across from us, we sipped and snacked on champagne shrimp, honey-garlic meatballs, and stuffed baguettes.

  The conversation was easy, about the warm temperatures for the season and the excitement of a new decade approaching, and Jackson even shared some of his exercise routine.

  “I’ll have to show you the gym we have in this building. State-of-the-art, I tell you.”

  I nodded and tried to stay in the conversation. But as time passed, I wanted to stand, to shout and make Jackson get to the point of this gathering.

  But right before I lost all my sensibilities, Jackson said, “Darling, why don’t you give Chastity a tour.”

  Chastity put down her glass, then squeezed my hand before she stood. Kitty hooked her arm through Chastity’s, leading her from the room.

  While I understood that Jackson wanted privacy, I wished Chastity could be by my side to hear this. She was so much of the reason why I was here, and this was the beginning of all the things I wanted to share with her.

  “So, Xavier,” Jackson said, pulling my attention back to him and this moment that would change my life. “I think you can tell I wanted to speak with you alone.”

  “Yes, sir,” I said, trying hard to stay casual and calm when all I wanted to do was jump up and pump my fist in the air.

  He nodded. “What I’m about to say is quite unusual, but after talking to several of the partners, we thought this would be the best approach. Of course, we can make the offer ourselves, but because we didn’t want to overstep boundaries, and we know the challenges that come with spouses working at the same place, I wanted to speak with you first. So what would you think of Steyer and Smith offering your wife a partnership with our firm?”

  I blinked and blinked and blinked.

  “Of course, we would have her in a different division,” Jackson went on to explain, “but I understand that it may still be a challenge in your eyes. That’s why I thought it best that we talked before any offer was made to Chastity.”

  He was waiting for my response, but I couldn’t speak. He interpreted my shock as me needing more information:

  “This isn’t something that just came to mind. I was impressed with Chastity from the moment I met her, and I’ve wanted to add an African American woman as a partner. So I did my research, of course, and everything, from her education to the people she’s worked with, is impeccable. What I hadn’t known was that she’s Kareem Jeffries’s daughter.” He held up his hand as if he thought I was going to speak. “I don’t want you to think that’s the reason why we want to make this offer. Of course, celebrity never hurts, but she’s a great talent and doesn’t belong with that tabloid firm.” He shook his head as if he found her employment there unbelievable. “All I know is I’ve built one of the largest firms in the nation, one great attorney at a time. You were one of my great discoveries, and I believe your wife will be the same.”

  Still, I stayed silent as I processed Jackson’s words. This invitation, this night… was about Chastity?

  When he finally shut up, I spoke up. “Jackson, excuse me, but I thought we were going to have a different discussion tonight.”

  He cocked his head.

  As I shifted to the edge of the sofa, I was surprised by my composure. “I’ve been with the firm for seven years, and I’ve had three major cases including this last one, not to even mention all the business I’ve brought to Steyer and Smith. I believe—no, I know—it’s time I’m considered as a partner.”

  Jackson’s face stretched in surprise and he put his glass down. “Really?”

  “Yes, and after what I’ve just laid out, I’m sure you can understand my frustration. Not only with the holdup at the firm but with you talking about my wife instead of speaking about my career.”

  He nodded slowly. “Xavier, you know the holdup is you.”

  His words were like a punch, pushing me back on the sofa.

  Jackson said, “When I interviewed you, we talked about this. We talked about the issues you had at the other two firms. We talked about the fact I was giving you a chance when no one else at Steyer and Smith wanted to.”

  “But that was seven years ago, Mr. Steyer. And when I was hired, you never said I wouldn’t be made a partner.”

  “No, but I never said you would be. You came very close to being the cause of a lawsuit against your last firm. No one else would touch a young attorney who brought those kinds of issues with him. But I saw something in you and wanted to give you this chance.” He pointed his finger at me. “I warned you then, and I’m pleased to say you haven’t let us down. You’ve done a great job.”

  “Just not good enough for partner.”

  “Just not good enough right now. It’s only been seven years.”

  “But I came with experience.”

  He raised his thick eyebrows when he said, “You came with issues; your anger was a wild card, and I told you then you’d be starting over.” He paused, but I said nothing. “You’ve done well, and your work has not gone unnoticed. Your bonuses in the past have reflected that, and I think you’ll be very pleased with your bonus this year.” Again, he paused, and again, when I said nothing, he kept on, “But as far as becoming a partner, give that a little more time. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll always be in your corner.”

  I wanted to tell this old man that his being in my corner meant nothing when he could very well be dead soon. But again, I stayed silent, though this time, I stood. I had to because of the heat.

  “If that’s your final word.” That statement slipped through my lips, which hardly moved.

  Jackson peered over his glasses, his eyes narrowed as if he could see the rage brewing. Was this a test? Had this been set up to see how I would react? But the little bit of hope that thought gave me went away when he said, “I understand how disappointing this must be. But what I can tell you is that you have a future with us.”

  I had to take my eyes off of him. Focus on the outside lights right above his head.

  “Now, I’ve mentored a few young attorneys over my career, so let me give you some advice. Of course, with this news, you can leave Steyer and Smith. And with all the publicity you’ve received lately, you’ll be given an opportunity at another firm. There will still be a background investigation, however, and while you’ll be hired, you’ll be starting over. Or you can stay and build on what you’ve started with us.” He paused as if he wasn’
t sure I was listening. When I turned my glare to him, he said, “Give it a little bit more time, young man.”

  “How much more?” I asked, hating that my voice wavered.

  “That decision is not mine alone. All of us have a firm to protect. But I think you’ll be pleased in the end.”

  “Are you finished?” Kitty’s voice floated over my shoulder.

  Turning, I saw my wife moving toward me, her eyes full of hopeful excitement. I had to look away.

  Kitty said, “It’s time for us to head over to the Four Seasons.” Then she asked, “Xavier, Chastity, would you two like to ride with us?”

  “That’s a great idea,” Jackson piped in. “I’ll let Jimmy know we’ll be down in about ten minutes.”

  “That would be lovely,” my wife said.

  But I spoke over her: “No, we’ll be fine. We’ll get there on our own.”

  While Jackson and Kitty exchanged glances, Chastity frowned. But she recovered, and her smile returned as Kitty handed us our coats.

  When Chastity thanked the Steyers for a lovely evening, I opened the door and walked out, saying nothing.

  “We’ll see you at the party,” Chastity said before the door closed behind us.

  As we stepped into the elevator, Chastity hooked her arm through mine, but still I didn’t speak. She didn’t say anything either, until we reached the lobby. “Do you want me to order an Uber or should we just take a cab?”

  I answered my wife by motioning to the doorman for a cab, and when we slipped inside, I told him our home address. I gave no explanation to Chastity. I had no words for her.

  Turning to the window, I kept my eyes there. My wife had to know by now that becoming a partner wasn’t in my future. I just couldn’t tell her why—not yet. I couldn’t explain to her why I was such a failure—not now. Not when I was boiling over with so much hurt, so much pain, and the heat of a thousand suns.

  42 Chastity

  We were going home, and I had no idea why. What could have happened in the fifteen minutes Mrs. Steyer and I had been away? Had Xavier committed some kind of offense? Had he been fired?

  No… Mr. Steyer hadn’t worn the countenance or the body language of a man who’d just fired someone. Glancing at my husband with his eyes still on the window, I didn’t read him as a man who’d been fired. But he certainly looked defeated.

  All I wanted to do was hold Xavier, but he’d locked me out. I was smarter this time, though. I wasn’t going to press, wasn’t going to say anything until my husband was ready to talk.

  My vibrating cell shifted my glance and my attention. Looking down, I saw the notification for an incoming text.

  How’s the party?

  I texted Melanie back:

  Change of plans, heading home.

  What??? What happened???

  I sighed before I texted:

  Don’t know yet, I’ll keep you posted.

  Is Xavier acting crazy?

  That text made me pause, made me wonder if I’d done the right thing last Saturday.

  No, he’s fine. I’ll text when I get home.

  Okay, but you know the deal.

  Got it, I replied, then returned my focus to Xavier. I knew he felt my gaze, but still, his eyes (really, all of him) stayed away from me.

  So I focused on my window, the other side of Sixth Avenue as the cab sped uptown. Is Xavier acting crazy? Those four words made part of me sorry that I contacted Melanie last week, although even with this feeling of regret now, I’d done the right thing. After Xavier had pinned me against the wall on Saturday, someone needed to know what was going on in our home.

  When I’d sent out an emergency message Sunday after church, Melanie had met me. It had been easy enough to get away; Xavier was playing golf with Bryce. So I slipped away and met up with her.

  Over catfish and eggs at Sylvia’s, I’d told Melanie the whole story. To my surprise and relief, she’d sat silently, letting me share every detail until I finished. At the end, she’d wiped her lips with her napkin, pulled her cell from her purse, and handed me her phone.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You’re going to call your mother and father and tell them what you just told me.”

  I was shaking my head before she even finished. “No, I can’t. Because my father will kill him.”

  “Well, after what Xavier did, maybe he needs to die.”

  TO THIS MOMENT, I wasn’t sure if Melanie had been serious; I hadn’t asked her because I was afraid of her answer. But what I did ask was for her not to make me regret telling her.

  “I told you this because I need a backup, so please help me. I don’t want to be in a place where I feel as if I can’t share anything with you ever again.”

  I saw, I felt, I heard her reluctance when she said, “Okay. Whatever you want, but I don’t understand, Chaz. I don’t know why you’re staying with him.”

  “Everyone in his life has abandoned him.”

  “Maybe there was a reason.”

  “Never a reason to abandon a child. I’m staying. This is when he needs me the most, and I know we can work through this. We’re going to counseling.”

  SHE’D BACKED DOWN, and the deal was made. My part: Melanie would keep my secret. Her part: Whenever I was with Xavier, I had to check in every half hour or so. In the last week, I’d done that: even as life got better by the day with my husband, I stayed in touch with Melanie. It hadn’t felt right, like I was betraying Xavier, sharing what should have been our secret. But if I was going to stay, it was a necessary safety plan for me.

  The cab had barely rolled to a stop when Xavier opened the door, jumped out, and walked away, not waiting for me. I paid the driver and then caught up with my husband at the elevator. Now I had to press down my anger. Whatever had gone down with Mr. Steyer, Xavier was going to have to handle it without treating me this way. But for this moment, this hour, maybe even the next day or two, I was going to extend him grace.

  Still, he didn’t give me a glance nor a word; I was just happy that when we stepped into the apartment, he at least held the door open for me.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  Xavier tore off his overcoat, then hurled it onto the sofa. I moved to the other side of the coffee table, making sure that was between us before I said, “Xavier, I want to be here for you for all things. So please tell me, what happened with Mr. Steyer?”

  My cell vibrated, and I knew it was Melanie, but I couldn’t pause right then. Not after I’d just asked this question.

  For the first time since we left the Steyers’, his eyes met mine, but the disdain in his expression was shocking. Although what he said next was worse.

  “You want to know what’s wrong?” he spat. “You’re what’s wrong. You’re the problem.”

  Now I was the one who didn’t want to talk, because this man was acting the way Melanie suspected. But I’d learned from the last time, so I held up my hands. “Okay, if this isn’t the right time, just know I’m here whenever you need me.”

  “Nah, you wanted to talk, so let’s do this,” he shouted.

  I’d opened the door, and now I couldn’t close it. I checked the distance between us and took a couple of steps back. “If you want to talk about it, that’s fine. Because like I’ve said, we’re in this together, but—”

  He laughed over my words. “We’re not in this together. This is your world, and I’m just living in it.”

  I squinted. If I hadn’t just spent the last hours with him, I would’ve been sure my husband had swallowed a whole bottle of something; he was that different. “I’m talking about you and Mr. Steyer. How did this become about me?”

  He said, “I don’t know. But all Jackson wanted to talk about tonight was whether or not it was fine with me if they offered you a partnership at Steyer and Smith.”

  I pressed my fingers against my lips. “What?”

  My cell vibrated again, but both of us ignored it as Xavier nodded. “I was right; he wanted to talk about someone being
a partner with the firm, but it wasn’t me.”

  “I don’t even understand. I’m not interested in leaving my firm.”

  “Well, according to Jackson, you need to bring your talented ass over to us.”

  Inside, I gasped. Xavier had never talked this way, but I tried to keep the focus on what he’d just told me. “This doesn’t make sense,” I said. “So what about you?”

  His shrug was nonchalant, but his tone was filled with his pain when he said, “Apparently, I’m not partnership material.”

  “Oh my God, Xavier. I’m so sorry.”

  His eyes bore into me. “Are you?”

  When my cell vibrated again, I knew I needed to respond to Melanie, but I couldn’t stop now. “Of course I’m sorry. What Mr. Steyer said was ridiculous. Why did he even invite us to his home if he was going to talk about this foolishness?”

  He laughed so loud and for so long, I hoped in that span of time he’d really found some humor. Then he said, “You almost sound as if you care.”

  “I do care, Xavier. You know that.”

  He glared at me, and I took deep breaths, reminding myself that becoming a partner had been Xavier’s dream. This had to be beyond disappointing; it had to be a bit humiliating. So I inhaled one last time, then exhaled as much grace as I could. “I understand why you’re upset, but all I want to do now is help you figure out your next steps.”

  A few chuckles lingered as he said, “What would you suggest?”

  I took this as a chance to encourage him. “There are hundreds of firms out there, so many that would want you and know they’d be blessed to have you.” I took a couple of steps closer to him. “Just look at what you’ve accomplished. Actually, I’m surprised firms haven’t been reaching out to you already.”

  He began to pace—good! Movement would keep him calm. So I took two more steps closer. “Maybe this is God, maybe a sign that you should consider your options.” He kept pacing, his eyes down. “Whether it’s to go to a new firm, or maybe this is when you should step out into politics.”