The Wooden Nickel

by Alisha Paige

  We’re all praying for the war to end. Hank was sent to a hospital in Berlin and guess who he ran into? Miss Lily is who and guess whose getting married? Your very own brother, Hank and my very own sister, Lily. I know you can hardly believe it either and I know you aren’t used to the new Lily, but she is altogether different from the Lily you once knew. She put an end to her bad manners and straightened up for good. She went to nursing college and upon graduation, took a ship ride to Berlin to help heal our boys wounded in battle. Hank and Lily have been keeping an eye out for you overseas and every time I get a letter or a telegram from one of them, I shake terribly, hoping for good news, but dreading the worse.

  But, I know you’re alive, darling. I’ve known it all along. Your mother and I have long talks. I take Annalisa to visit her (yes, I named our daughter Annalisa, just like you wanted) often and she loves seeing Cecile and Mary, who are nearly grown now. You’d just be so proud of everyone. By the way, your mother and I share a strong bond. A bond of hope, because we keep a secret between the two of us. Yes, we certainly do. Both of us have held out hope for you and we don’t know why, but something tells both of us, deep down, that you are alive, though we know you are in terrible danger and live day by day. Your mother has dreams of those horrible prison camps. I’ve never had a dream like that, but last night’s dream has prompted me to pay another visit to your mother.

  At long last, the terrible Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler are dead and only two days apart, too. Mussolini was executed on April 28 and later strung up in the streets for all to see. That monster, Hitler was a coward to the very end. He shot himself to death and his wife took a suicide pill. Can you believe they were married the very day of their death? And Mussolini’s mistress was killed and strung up, right alongside him. I almost feel sorry for those women, but how could they be involved with such horrid men? Being a woman myself, it made me imagine how terrible it must have been for them in the end.

  I pray that this terrible war will end soon and you will come home to us. I love you, my dearest, dearest husband and you are always in my heart, night and day. Please come home soon. Annalisa wants to meet her daddy.

  Always and Forever,

  Louise

  ~ * ~

  Cliff began piling bodies into a cart. He used to keep count, but stopped years ago at three thousand. He guessed he had been elected to such a position of morbidity simply because of his size and strength and as bad as he felt about it, he knew his life had lasted this long because he was not a Jew. The SS guards seemed to overlook him more often and have a certain respect for him and he often wondered if they dreaded their orders. Surely they’d be labeled as traitors and killed if they showed favoritism to any prisoner and even he had witnessed a handful of soldiers who exhibited a small measure of human kindness to him as well as Jews. Did they all really hate Jews?

  Hitler’s face came to him in dreams. He could clearly see that moustache and the unmistakable frown forever etched on the forehead that hovered over his tight lipped mouth. Those cold, dark eyes haunted Cliff. What did all these Nazi followers think of him now? Was Hitler really interested in a better, more unified Germany or did he have his own personal warped agenda that had already done more damage than anyone ever imagined? One SS guard in particular seemed to look after Cliff. One day while carrying a woman into the crematorium, he spotted something sparkling in the sunlight. Cliff thought nothing of it until he passed it again and saw the tip of it poking out of the soft mud. He bent down and pulled it out.

  “Is this your watch, sir?” Cliff asked, dangling the muddied pocket watch at the guard.

  The guard snatched it out of Cliff’s hand and stuffed it into his pocket, sighing heavily, seemingly relieved. He nodded to Cliff quickly and motioned for him to carry on. Cliff forgot about the incident until a week later when he once again was entering the crematorium, carrying another of his bunk mates to his final destination. How many dead men had Cliff slept next to? The guard stepped inside with him and suddenly Cliff was afraid. Would today be his day as well? The guard had never followed him inside and perhaps he had waited to, just so he could shoot him there and wouldn’t have to drag his body to the oven.

  “You’re the one who found my watch?” he asked in brisk German.

  Cliff nodded, reluctantly, but he didn’t want anyone else to be blamed for his action and suffer punishment or worse, death because of it. Here it comes, he thought. He shut his eyes tight and began praying fervently to himself, begging God for one more day. The guard pushed something at him and it crackled. Cliff opened his eyes and looked down. It was something wrapped in wax paper. He hadn’t seen wax paper in years and it seemed like such a luxury.

  “Open it,” the guard ordered.

  Cliff undid the wrapping and lying there, staring back up at him in all its glory was the most beautiful slice of fluffy white cake, thick with frosting. Cliff’s mouth instantly watered at the sight and then the aroma wafted into his nostrils. When was the last time he’d smelled something so wonderful? Maybe in Vienna, in that little café, where he would read Louise’s letters and write her back. That was a hundred years ago. Cliff looked up at the man and he couldn’t believe it; he smiled at him. The guard seemed pleased at his reaction and then laid his rifle on the wall and anchored his hands on his hips.

  “Thank you, you saved my life that day.”

  Cliff’s mouth dropped open as he stared back at him. A Nazi SS guard was thanking him for saving his life? He managed to smile back. The act produced a laugh from the burly guard.

  “You have very nice teeth. Nice American teeth. Eat your cake. My wife made it.”

  And he was gone. Cliff stood there, alone with a giant piece of cake, surrounded by dead bodies, waiting to be burned to ashes. How could he eat in here? None of the dead lying at his feet had enjoyed anything of the likes for years. He rewrapped it, loving the way the wax paper reminded him of home and stuffed it into the waistband of his striped prison pants. He walked to the large shed at the far end of the camp, to retrieve another death wagon. It was here that he reopened his prize and tasted the most glorious cake in all the world. He could taste the flour, vanilla, the eggs. Each ingredient had been blended by hand to concoct the most delicious combination of flavors. A tear slid down his cheek. He knew he’d never take another meal for granted as long as he lived. For the first time in years, he felt full. He experienced a renewed strength that reminded him of his young age. Lately he had felt more and more like an old man, but now he was beginning to remember his youth again, if only for a moment. He was savoring his last bite when shots rang out and shouts erupted from outside. Soldiers were barking orders, but something seemed out of place. Instead of the rough, gravelly German tongue he was so accustomed to, he heard a new accent. It had more of a lilt to it and he didn’t recognize any of the words. He could practically speak German now and understood almost anything. No, this was a different language altogether. The voices were growing louder and now he could hear German voices, too and more gunshots.

  Cliff peered through a crack in the large shed door and couldn’t believe what he saw. At least a dozen SS guards lay dead across the yard and now he could hear some of the prisoners yelling. What on earth were they yelling for? Any sort of uproar would guarantee instant death. Chaos was erupting around him and he wasn’t sure whether to hide or run outside. For some strange reason, he had the urge to run and cheer. Was that what he heard? Was that cheers coming from the prison barracks? He watched as soldiers in strange uniforms ordered Nazi soldiers to surrender. Cliff saw an SS guard ignore a soldier’s order and get shot squarely in the forehead. He dropped to the ground and the soldier dared another German to disobey. He could tell from his vantage point that the Germans were clearly outnumbered and the unfamiliar soldiers had attacked in the early morning hours, when many of the SS guards were still sleeping.

  He witnessed an army of soldiers entering the barracks. Within minutes, they emerged with fifty or sixty Jews, cheeri
ng and clinging to the men, who smiled back at them openly, hugging and cheering as well. What were they chanting? The few men who well enough to celebrate were cheering in Polish, Czech and German? What were they saying?

  “We are free! We are free!” Cliff was able to make out the words when spoken in German and suddenly he felt as if he’d died and gone to heaven. He could see Louise’s face and the face of his child, though he’d never seen it before. He was sure it was a girl and he could see her features clearly. Leaving the death cart behind, knowing another unfortunate soul would tend to the dead now; Cliff pushed the heavy wooden doors open and walked out into the sunshine, a free man.

  Dead Germans lay everywhere and his heart froze when he stepped over the body of the guard who had laughed with him just a few moments before, handing him a thick slice of cake for saving his life. Not for long, Cliff thought. Why would losing the pocket watch have cost him his life? He would never know, but there was one thing he knew for sure. He hadn’t had a lucky day like this since Bill gave him a job. He had eaten heartily and been freed within a single hour. Upon closer examination, Cliff guessed the soldiers were Soviets. Were the Russians allied with Great Britain and the U.S.? He wasn’t sure who was fighting who anymore.

  For the first time in seven years, Cliff and the other prisoners were escorted out of the gates of Sachsenhausen. Those able to walk helped to carry the sick and dying. Russian soldiers came in truck loads, aiding in the liberation of the camp. Cliff was given a ride on a military truck. As they drove through the nearby towns, German citizens lined the streets, staring in awe at the gaunt prisoners as they made their way to safety. Human skeletons waved back at the onlookers, most of them having lost all or many of their teeth. Cliff still held on to his, though at least six of them were now loose. They traveled for several miles, ending up at train tracks. Russian soldiers assisted free men and women as they boarded a passenger train and sat in seats, instead of boxcars.

  Within two days time, they had all been transferred to hospitals and allowed to recuperate. God in heaven, Cliff had never felt so good in his entire life, tucked snuggly in crisp, white hospital bed sheets. Upon arrival, a nurse bathed him with a warm sponge and he immediately fell into a deep sleep for the first time since leaving Austria. At last, he knew for certain, in the morning he would be alive.

  ~ * ~

  “Mama?”

  “Hmm?” Louise asked, as she threaded a needle. Annalisa had lost two buttons off of her best dress and Louise just shook her head at the sight. It was useless. Annalisa was bound and determined to climb any and every tree this side of the Red River. Why couldn’t she at least wait until after church, when she had changed into her play clothes?

  “Do you think it’s sad?”

  “What, dear?”

  “About Hitler.”

  “What about him?” Louise wasn’t sure exactly what her daughter was asking. Of course she felt no sympathy for the madman.

  “They teach us in church to love one another. You know, love thy neighbor? Well, isn’t Hitler our neighbor, too? I think it’s sort of sad that he died with his wife.”

  “I suppose it is sad, darling, but you have to understand that Hitler was a very, very bad man.”

  Annalisa stared at her mother with big, blue eyes, filled with confusion.

  “But the Bible says we aren’t supposed to judge others.”

  Louise crinkled her forehead. How do you explain to a seven year old that the world is better off now? Hitler’s death was good news to millions. “That’s right, dear. But, Hitler did judge others. He imprisoned and killed people just because of their beliefs.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know that,” Annalisa said, as a small measure of understanding crossed her face. “Now, maybe more people will live.”

  “We all hope so,” Louise answered, confident that she hadn’t revealed too much harshness to her very vulnerable daughter.

  “It’s still sad when anyone dies. Right, Mama?”

  “Right,” Louise answered softly, thinking of Cliff and silently praying for his life.

  “Can you believe that Hitler was once a little baby? Just like in my baby pictures. His mother must have loved him, just like you love me.”

  “I’m sure of it,” Louise answered. What a wonderful thinker her daughter was and suddenly, she realized that she wouldn’t be able to shield her from the world’s truths for long. Annalisa was very bright and caught on much too quick for her age.

  “What made him so mean?”

  “I don’t know, sweetheart. Some people are just mean like that.”

  “I don’t know why anyone would want to be like that. I mean, really, Mama. Do you? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t see how that could make a person happy. Bringing so much hurt onto others and all.”

  “I don’t either. I suspect we’ll never know. You’re growing up way too fast.”

  “What do you mean, Mama?”

  Louise hesitated as she bit the end of her thread off and examined the new button she’d just sewn on. “I mean, there is a lot of bad in the world.”

  “But there’s a lot of good, too, right, Mama?”

  “That’s right, honey. The good is what keeps us going in times like these.”

  Annalisa smiled as she quickly changed the subject from dark to bright. “When is Daddy coming home?”

  At least Louise hoped it was bright and she really felt that one day it would be. “I’m not sure. I think something happened to Daddy over in Europe and he’s been trying to come home to us ever since.”

  “You don’t think he’s dead do you?”

  Louise set her sewing aside and looked at her daughter, complete innocence outlining her features. “No, darling, I don’t.”

  “What if he is?”

  “Don’t talk like that, dear.”

  “Granpa thinks he died before I was born.”

  Louise seethed inside. How dare her father reveal his opinions to their daughter? “Did he tell you that?”

  “Oh, no, Mama. I heard him and Grandma talking, but they didn’t know I heard or I don’t think they’d have said it.”

  “Well, you must have heard wrong. I don’t think they’d say something like that about Daddy.”

  “Oh, no, Mama. I heard them right, alright.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Cause they were saying Cliff, you know using his name and Grandma was crying and saying how sad she was that I didn’t have a daddy and that you don’t have a husband. I felt powerfully sorry for Grandma. She was all torn up about it and Grandpa sounded real sad, too. He said he is real, real worried about you. He said you act like a mombie. What’s a mombie?”

  “A zombie.”

  “A zombie?” Annalisa asked, never before hearing the word.

  “Yes, it’s a monster that just walks around in a daze.”

  “I don’t think you act like a zombie.”

  Louise smiled at her daughter and laughed at the angry look that had crossed her small face. “Thank you, sweetheart, but I know I get sad a lot cause I miss Daddy so much. I think that’s what Grandpa means. He didn’t mean any harm.”

  “Well, okay, then, but he better not say it again, cause I know what it means now.”

  Louise laughed out loud. Annalisa was so protective of her mother and it warmed her heart. They were probably closer than most mothers and daughters. They had learned to cling so tightly to one another.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to Grandpa.”

  “Okay, Mama, don’t forget.”

  “I won’t. Now, run along and play while you still have a couple of hours of sunshine.”

  Louise leaned over and gave her daughter a kiss. Her tiny arms went around her neck, filling her with hope. Please, God, let Cliff be alive, if only to meet this wonderful little person that he helped to create. Louise sighed deeply and began sewing on another button. The war had surely taken its toll on everyone around them. She didn’t know one single family in their town that had
n’t been affected in one way or another. She had already attended half a dozen funerals for boys killed overseas and she was almost glad in a way that Hank had been hurt before he got killed. At least he would get to come home alive. He had promised to stay in Berlin with Lily until the end of the war. But who knew when that would be. Rumors twirled around them and everyone speculated that it wouldn’t be far off, now that the two horrible dictators were dead, but no one was certain.

  It was nearly September now and Louise would have to get ready for another school year. Some parts of her looked forward to it, because it took her mind off of Cliff, but goodness how she hoped she wouldn’t have another breakdown during her history lesson. Just like Annalisa, her kids gave her a reason to go on and she vowed to do her best. To hold her chin up high and go on, just like Cliff would have wanted.

  She had gone to visit Sally and the girls right after the wooden nickel had practically burned a hole through her palm. She had sworn it to Sally when they’d talked about it and sometimes, early in the morning when she lay in bed thinking of him, she could swear that it still tingled when she closed her hand into a fist. It was the oddest of things and Louise had never been a believer of phenomenon or signs as Sally called it, but that was exactly how she labeled it. In fact, Sally was darn tootin’ now. The tiniest parts of her that had doubted it at all, were all convinced now. Sally was sure that Cliff was coming home to all of them and she said it wouldn’t be long.

  Louise wasn’t too sure now days. The more time that passed, the more she began to doubt again. And with school starting, it seemed like a brand new year again, adding another year onto Cliff’s mysterious disappearance. It seemed like less and less of a mystery to her now though. Horrible stories of kidnappings were now surfacing with the death of Hitler. Millions had died with him at the German helm and Louise could barely listen to the news reports. Cliff had been in the thick of it, too, though no one knew it at the time. Austria was a virtual hot bed for Nazi demonstrations in the late thirties. She was hoping for a miracle now. Only God could bring Cliff back to them and though she prayed every day for his safe return, her hope was growing dimmer by the day.