Returning Home (Satan's Sinners MC Book 4)

by Colbie Kay

  “But I don’t want Chat to be with me out of guilt, or because she feels she has to. I don’t want to hold her back because she would have to take care of me or if there is shit she wants to do that I can’t.” Washing the shampoo out gives me reason to hang my head, hiding that my tears are close to falling.

  “That’s why you did it? Jesus, Gunner, she was in love with you before all this shit happened. You think because you can’t fuckin’ walk her love would, what, turn to pity, sympathy, a fuckin’ chore? C’mon, brother, you know her better than that. I know when I said I love you to Crazy Girl I fuckin’ meant those three words and there wasn’t a damn thing that could change that, not even if she became paralyzed. Same would go for her. I think you should have given Chatty the option of stickin’ around or not, but you didn’t—you took that away from her.” Hanger shakes his head incredulously.

  “Gotta agree with Hanger on this. I didn’t tell Lil Mama those three words just to let it all go because shit got a little tough. I don’t give two fucks if she couldn’t walk, couldn’t see, nothin’—I would take care of her because she’s my woman, and I fuckin’ love the shit outta her. She would do the same for me. All that Chatty has been through, you can’t throw those words out there and take ‘em back. You ripped her fuckin’ heart out and stomped on it. She ain’t been the same since.” Bear’s lookin’ a little angry with that vein bulging from his neck.

  “What do you mean she ain’t the same?” My eyes cut to both of them as I add, “Y’all actin’ like I don’t love Chat, and I do!” My hackles rising at them accusing me of not lovin’ her the same as they love their women.

  “Then start actin’ like it.” Bear deadpans.

  “She’s been sick. Really fuckin’ sick, but don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Hanger pipes up. My gut twists with worry.

  “So how do I fix it?”

  They help me out of the shower, get dressed, and as we’re about to leave the room, Bear turns. “You start by sayin’ you’re fuckin’ sorry.”

  Throwing my arms up, I shake my head. “Like it’s that fuckin’ easy. I say sorry for being a douchebag and she just says I forgive you and then we are back to happy little couple.” Yeah, not gonna be so easy with Chatty.

  “No.” Hanger laughs. “But it’s a good fuckin’ start.”

  As we head to church, I start thinkin’ of a plan, but I’m going to need the guys’ help.

  *****

  “I’m going to get Gunner caught up on what when down, and then we will discuss other club business,” Hanger announces as we’re all seated around the table. This is what I have been waitin’ for.

  Hanger starts gettin’ me up to speed. “We ambushed the abandoned bar where The Four Kings had been gathering. We killed all of the men that were there, and we believe that was everyone, but Deuce has went missing again. We think that he came after you and took off.” My blood boils at the knowledge of him still being alive.

  “Hacker, any word on his whereabouts yet?”

  “No, fucker’s layin’ low so far. I’m watchin’ for any activity from his phone, cards, name, and nothin’ yet.” Hacker looks pissed that he hasn’t found Deuce yet. I’m not happy with his disappearing act either; I can’t wait to put a bullet between those beady fuckin’ eyes of his.

  “Where’s Tink?” I question because he’s not here, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since the day I left Montera. I tried to call, but he doesn’t answer.

  “He was beat and marked up pretty badly when we ambushed the bar. Kid was barely hanging on, but he’s healing up. He’s in one of the spare rooms. We tried asking what happened, but it’s like he’s in shock. He just stares at the ceiling; been that way for weeks,” Doc informs me, and I feel sick. I got close to Tink while we were undercover, and as far as I’m concerned, he’s just as much my brother as any these guys are.

  “He needs to get a patch,” I snap, shooting my eyes around the room.

  “We need to find out if he talked,” Hunter gruffly addresses the question everyone wants the answer to—everyone except for me.

  Shaking my head, I state, “He didn’t.” Without conviction, I know without a shadow of a doubt Tink didn’t snitch.

  “You don’t know that for sure, Gunner.” Hanger looks at me, doubt in his gaze.

  I stand firm. “He didn’t. I know he fuckin’ didn’t.”

  “Then maybe you can get him to speak and tell you what happened,” Writer says from his seat.

  “I’ll go see him as soon as we’re done here.”

  “We had a visitor a few days ago, askin’ for Tinsley,” Hanger says, moving on to the next matter at hand.

  Romeo sits up straighter in his chair, a veins protruding out of his tight flexing forearms. Brother is pissed. “Who?”

  “Don’t know. Chatty gave me a head’s up a while ago and I let the prospects tending the gate know that if anyone came lookin’ for her to play stupid. I’m lettin’ it be known now in case he comes back tryin’ to cause problems.” Hanger sits back in his chair, arms folded over his big chest. “How’s Tinsley workin’ out on the books, Demon?” Hanger asks.

  “She’s workin’ out. Doin’ a good job, and learns fast—don’t gotta tell her shit twice.”

  “Good. Anything else need to be discussed?” Hanger asks around the room. No one speaks, so he closes out church. I’m the first to get out of the room, and I wait for Doc to show me which room Tink is in.

  The kid’s lyin’ on the bed, naked because of all the slash marks he has that are no doubt going to mar up his skin when they heal. The only thing covered is his dick with a sheet, an IV is hooked in his arm and another tube sticks out of his stomach. “His back side is just as bad,” Doc quietly tells me. “I have him doped up on pain medication so he won’t feel shit right now. Had to go through Sierra to get the IV, feeding tube, and morphine.” Tink’s stock still except for when his eyes blink and, just as they said, he’s staring at the ceiling. Kid’s not gonna be the same after this ordeal.

  Doc leaves the room as I roll over to the side of the bed. I call his name a few times, but I get no response. I’m not ready to give up, so I stay with him for hours, talking; talking about nothing, and talking about everything. It’s a one-sided conversation, but I hope like hell he knows he’s not alone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I’m officially past the twelve-week mark in this pregnancy, and feeling so much better. The nausea medication has helped tremendously, and since I can hold food down now, I’m putting on some weight and noticing a little pudge belly. It makes this all the more real, and as time goes on, the happier and more excited I become. I’m going to be a mom, something I never thought I would get the chance to experience.

  But I’m sad that Gunner isn’t here with me; he’s the one that started talking about babies in the first place. I’m scared to tell him since he acted like such an ass, pushed me away, and now I’m worried he won’t be happy and will have changed his mind about wanting a baby with me.

  He came home a few days ago, and since I’m avoiding him once again, I have yet to see him. When I think about seeing Gunner and what transpired at the hospital, I’m at a crossroad of wanting to slap the taste outta his mouth, or kissing the life outta him. I want to slap him because I’m still angry, but most of all I’m hurt. Gunner has never spoken to me like he did in the hospital, and it’s so out of character for him, it makes me wonder if it wasn’t all bullshit and if there’s another reason why he wanted me to leave, not that he blames me for what happened.

  I’ve had plenty of time to think about the whole situation, and Josie is right—in this life, shit’s gonna happen no matter what. It wouldn’t have mattered if we were on the backroads, here at the compound, or at the fucking grocery store; someone targeted us and there wasn’t a damn thing we could ha
ve done to stop it. They knew the car. I love Gunner, but he can be an idiot at times; his little stunt at the hospital didn’t change my feelings any, regardless of what happened, and that’s why I would consider kissing him, among other things. Well, that and I’m horny, beyond horny—and I have a feeling that has to do with the pregnancy, my emotions, hormones—everything is all sorts of outta whack.

  Crazy Girl is the only one that knows I’m pregnant; I asked her not to tell anyone until after I figured out what to do, plus I wanted to wait until after the twelve-week mark so I could be out of the scare zone. I feel bad for not telling Tinsley yet, because I tell her everything, but she has been pretty shaken up since the incident, plus she has been busy working alongside Demon taking care of the club’s money. I’m glad that Crazy Girl got Tinsley the job; she’s seems happier now, and it keeps her mind off of him.

  A knock on the door pulls me out of my wandering thoughts. “Come in,” I holler from my bed.

  Not expecting Hanger to be the one who enters, I sit up quickly. It makes me dizzy, so I have to take a few seconds before my vision settles back to normal. “I need you in the bar in an hour.” I meet his worried stare. “You good?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine, just a little dizzy, is all. What do you need me for?” I question, holding my head in my hands.

  Scratching the back of his neck and looking down, Hanger says, “Drifter needs help with inventory.” He’s lying; Drifter already knows how to do it. But if Hanger says he needs me, then who am I to question it. A small smile forms on his lips.

  “Okay, I’ll be there.” Lying back down, my eyes narrow as I watch him start to leave, but he stops.

  “If you don’t get better soon, I think you need to see a doctor. We’re startin’ to get worried about you.”

  “I’ll be fine, Hanger. Don’t worry so much.” I smile, trying to reassure him. Little does he know, his wife already took me to see the doctor. Giving me a nod, he closes the door behind him.

  I walk out of my room and start heading down the hallway, when I notice the bar area is dark, except for a glowing flicker of light.

  Why’s it so dark?

  Coming to the end of the hallway, I look around the room. Lit candles are sporadically placed around the room. There’s one table set up in the middle of the space; a white tablecloth covers the wooden top, two plate settings along with silverware are set up, one on each side of the table, along with two glasses of what looks to be red wine, and a dozen red roses sit right in the middle.

  It’s so romantic!

  I wonder if one of the guys is doing something special for their Ol’ Lady. Walking further into the room, I see that Hanger stands next to the bar counter. “Have a seat, Chatty.” I start to head over to one of the barstools, but he stops me. “At the table.” He chuckles a little.

  Looking over to the table and back at him, I ask, “What’s going on?”

  “Someone has somethin’ to say to you.” He gives me a full smile and adds, “I shut down the bar and the club for the night. No hang-arounds, no whores, only a few prospects to help y’all out.” He gives me a wink, walks over, and pulls the only chair out for me. “Now, sit.”

  “I guess this means no inventory,” I state, while laughing to keep myself from crying, because that is really what I want to do right now.

  Ugh, these hormones!

  Chuckling, Hanger replies, “No inventory. Had to get’cha out here somehow.” I take my seat, and he kisses the top of my head. “Don’t be too hard on him.” He walks away without waiting for a response.

  Gazing around the room, I wait.

  Gunner comes wheeling out of the hallway, smiling, and my heart melts at the sight of him. It’s been so long since I’ve seen that smile. The last couple of times I saw him, he was so angry. That being said, he’s not getting off that easy with just a sexy smile.

  Gah, it is sexy, and so is he.

  Biting on my bottom lip to keep from smiling, I cross my arms over my chest. He rolls his wheelchair over to his side of the table. “Hey, Chat.” Oh, now I’m back to Chat; in the hospital, I was Chatty.

  “Don’t hey me.” My eyes narrow on him. “Why’d you do all this?” I wave my hand around the room.

  “Because I owe you an apology. I was a dick to you for no reason, and I’m sorry. So fuckin’ sorry, Chat.” His blue eyes meet mine and I see the sorrow, pain, and regret. “Hanger said you’d been sick and I’m not much for going out right now so I came up with this. I wanted to do somethin’ special for you.” He’s looking unsure of himself because I’m not giving anything away.

  “Why’d you do it? Why’d you treat me like that?”

  “I lied.” Gunner looks down before connecting his eyes with mine once again. “Not for one second did I ever blame you for what happened. In my head, I thought I was helping you by pushing you away. I thought that if I was paralyzed I would hold you back, and I wanted to give you the chance to live a full life.” The golden glow from the candles shining against his skin makes him look so sexy. He hasn’t shaved, so his full beard is coming back and his hair is getting longer. The old Gunner is coming back.

  “You’re a fucking idiot sometimes.” I finally release the smile I was holding back, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to give in. Letting the smile fall, I ask, “Don’t you think that should have been my decision, not yours?”

  “I do now.” He nods. “I was angry and lashing out, I’m sorry.”

  “You had every right to be angry, but you didn’t have the right to speak to me like that.” My eyes bore into his, letting him see the seriousness in what his words did to me.

  “Can you forgive me?” He sticks his bottom lip out in a pout.

  “Tuck that lip back in; big bad bikers don’t pout.” We laugh, but I need him to understand that he can’t ever do that shit again to me.

  Furrowing my brows, my eyes hold his. “You hurt me. If you ever talk to me like that again, we won’t be sitting down talking it out. It’ll be done; no going back, no apologizing—nothing, we will be done.”

  “I know.” His eyes shimmer in the low light. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, but I want you back. I want you to give me the chance to make it up to you.”

  “If I give you another chance and you ever hurt me again... I swear to you, I will cut your balls off, cook them, and then force them down your throat, hoping you choke on them.” My lips purse as I think about giving in or not.

  “I understand; I’m not perfect, but I will do my best to not ever give you reason to castrate me.” His face scrunches up as he has that image in his head and I laugh. “Get over here!” Standing up from the chair, I walk over to his side. Gunner wheels towards me, takes my hand, and pulls me down onto his lap. He runs his hand over the side of my face, cupping my cheek with his palm. Leaning in to his touch, I close my eyes. “I really am sorry. I love you, Chat.”

  A tear falls down and he swipes it away with the pad of his thumb. “I love you, too. I’m glad you’re back.” The words have double meaning. “I like your chair.”

  “Thanks.” He smiles brightly. “Hanger had it made for me. Now fuckin’ kiss me.” Opening my eyes, I meet his gorgeous smile and I smile back. His hand moves to the nape of my neck and he grips my hair, bringing me in close as his lips crash with mine. I’ve missed this, missed him, his touch, everything. My heart pounds against my chest as the kiss grows deeper. My body comes alive as his tongue tangles with mine. I run my fingers over the scruff on his cheeks before wrapping my arms around his neck.

  Pulling back, Gunner places his lips against my temple, breathing me in. “I’ve missed this, you, your sweet smell. Will you be my Ol’ Lady?” His whispering tone makes me wonder if he’s nervous asking me that question.

  I can’t go into this new start with him and keep such a huge secret from hi
m. “I have something I need to tell you.”

  Worry is etched into his features. “This gotta do with you bein’ sick?”

  My brow cocks. “How did you know I’ve been sick?”

  “Hanger told me.” His brows pull down tightly.

  “Right. You mentioned that.” Shaking my head, I listen to what Gunner says next.

  “He said he didn’t know what was wrong, though. You know, though?” He runs his hand up and down my side.

  Giving him a nod, I sigh deeply. “I’m pregnant.” Biting on my lip, I wait for his reply, and for a minute he’s still as a statue.

  “You’re pregnant?” I nod again, worried he’s not going to be happy. My fears bubble to the surface.

  “Marry me.” He looks dead serious.

  “What?” I laugh, shocked.

  “Marry me,” he repeats.

  “Gunner, one step at a time.” I laugh nervously. “Let’s start with, ‘Yes I will be your Ol’ Lady.’ Now, how do you feel about the baby?”

  “Happy. I feel fuckin’ happy. Marry me.” Making me laugh harder, his lips descend on mine once again and his arms wrap around my waist. Pulling back, his hand lies flat against my stomach. “Our baby is growing in here.” A tear trails down his cheek, and I repeat his actions by wiping it away.

  “I have pictures. I’ll show you later. I’m kinda starving.”

  “Then I must feed my Ol’ Lady and baby.” His smile is unwavering and my heart is full.

  He yells for a prospect, and Pretty Boy walks out of the kitchen, carrying boxes of food. Gunner releases me so I can get up and move over to my seat. Pretty Boy sets the Chinese food down on the table and Gunner asks him to bring me water and to take the wine away.

  When we’re alone again, I split the food between the two of us and we begin to eat. “Are you going to answer?”