A Plain Leaving

by Leslie Gould

  I met his gaze. “I’m going back to Lancaster, back to the farm.”

  A confused smile passed over his face. “For how long?”

  “Indefinitely,” I said. “I’ll put in my resignation at work today.”

  “Jessica.” He stepped toward me, extending his hand. I put both of mine behind my back.

  A hint of anger flashed across his face. “This? After everything . . .”

  He stopped himself. But I could fill in the blanks. Everything he’d done for me.

  “I appreciate all of it,” I said. “Honestly. But we’re not meant for each other. My place is back home, and I know that now after this last week.”

  He nodded toward the street. “Is this because of Silas?”

  “I’ll be honest,” I said. “I still have feelings for Silas. But I’ll stay in Lancaster regardless of what the outcome is between us. I belong back home, with my family. It’s the best place for me—spiritually and emotionally.”

  He shook his head a little, a frown on his face. “I didn’t think you were one to give up.”

  “I’m not giving up,” I said. “I’m embracing what God has for me. Even before Silas and Leisel came here today, I tried to tell you earlier, when you dropped me off, that things weren’t working. I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer.”

  He shook his head, as if I hadn’t tried to tell him a thing. “I’m afraid you’ll regret this,” he said. “You have so much potential. You’ll be back in a month.”

  All I could say was, “We’ll see.”

  I stepped toward the door. “Thank you for coming to check on me. I really do appreciate it.” I held the door as he stepped through. “And I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been the friend I needed.”

  He shook his head. “I still think you’ll absolutely regret this.” But then he smiled a little and added, “You’re welcome.”

  I walked Tom to his car and then told him a quick good-bye. I waited until he drove away, and then turned toward the coffee shop. Silas stood at the door, watching.

  God? I prayed. Is this where you’re leading me?

  Silas held out his hand.

  Before he could speak, I blurted out, “I’m going home for good. I’m rejoining the church. As far as us, I never stopped loving you either, but we need to start courting again. To make sure this is what you truly want, what God wants for both of us.”

  His eyes locked onto mine. “What about Tom?”

  I held Silas’s gaze. “I told him good-bye.”

  Silas wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. For a moment I fell against him, as joyful as I’d been since the last time he’d hugged me. Then over his shoulder, I saw Leisel sitting at a table by the window, her bag at her feet and a big smile on her face.

  But then she turned toward the window, waved, and jumped to her feet. Her bag in her hand, she exclaimed, “Nick’s here.”

  Silas let me go as Leisel rushed past me. I grabbed her arm, “Don’t go,” I said. “I’ll help you find a school closer to home.”

  She shook her head. “It’s all been decided.” She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. “Here’s my new address. And Nick’s phone number, in case of an emergency.”

  I took the piece of paper. “Be wise,” I said. “Don’t forget what we were taught. . . .” Ruby’s Mamm’s word echoed in my mind. “Trust the Lord, Leisel,” I said. “Pray that His will be done.”

  “I will,” she promised, giving me a hug.

  I followed her out the door. Nick drove an old Chevy pickup. He climbed out of the driver’s seat, his hand extended, and introduced himself to me and then to Silas. “I’ll be a good friend to Leisel,” he said. He was tall and thin with a boyish charm. “I promise.”

  All I could do was take him at his word. I stood on the sidewalk and waved at Leisel as they left.

  Once the pickup was out of sight, Silas asked, “What now?”

  “I’ll go send an e-mail to give my official two weeks’ notice,” I said. “And I’ll give notice on my apartment. But then let’s go home. We’ll talk to the lawyer and Bishop Jacobs and then to Arden. I’ll spend the weekend at the farm—and then go home for good once everything is settled here.”

  An hour later, as we crossed into Lancaster County, I thought of Ruby again. How did her story end? I shivered and glanced over at Silas.

  More important, how in the world would ours? Driving with Silas in the car felt both familiar and foreign. My face grew warm as I realized he was staring. After all this time, his eyes still reflected me.

  He reached out and took my free hand. We drove that way, my internal conflict finally gone. Harmony once again filled my soul, replacing the hollowness that had grown inside me for the last three years. Silas began singing “How Great Thou Art.” I joined along, belting out “Consider all the woods Thy hands have made.” God had definitely made my woods, but more important, my world. I was so grateful He’d created the same world for Silas—and put us in it, together.

  Silas stayed by my side every inch of the way: through talking with Mamm, my appointment with the lawyer, our meeting with Bishop Jacobs, and then my talk with Arden. Step by step, together, we dealt with each person that weekend I was home.

  And after two weeks back in Harrisburg, I packed up everything in my apartment and took the clothes, appliances, and lights I wouldn’t be using to a thrift shop. I sold my phone and laptop, and once I’d moved home, sold my car too. Then I began the process of being reinstated in the church. It wasn’t hard to give up my car or phone—but it was extremely difficult to give up my laptop. However, I’d never give up the knowledge I’d gained or my thirst for more. I spent time, as I could, at the library, continuing my research on farming and all sorts of other things, including our family history.

  In time Marie seemed to forgive me for leaving—and returning. I feared she’d never forgive me for what she believed was my influence on Leisel. Still, we reached a truce, and although we didn’t regain our friendship, we were able to be kind to each other. Gail, heartbroken that Silas really had ended their courtship, joined her family in Ohio and that, in time, decreased the conflict between Marie and me too.

  I wouldn’t agree to the fracking or selling off the woods, which at first riled Arden, but with my help the farmwork got done and profits began to rise. I had some help, though. Arden hired a young Mennonite man, Gordon Martin. He proved to be a hard worker—and also interested in Marie. Not surprisingly, she wouldn’t have anything to do with him. If she had, I’m sure Arden would have fired Gordon immediately. Still, I thought it interesting that God would “test” Marie in such a way. There was a lot about Gordon to be attracted to—if one were a single young woman.

  But, of course, I only had eyes for Silas.

  Several times I asked Aenti Suz to tell me the rest of Ruby and Duncan’s story, but she always had one excuse or another not to.

  In early June, Silas and I both joined the church. The service happened to be at our farm on a gorgeous summer day. After the service and meal, as Aenti Suz and I cleaned up the last of the dishes after the others had left, I asked her again to tell me about Ruby.

  This time she smiled, glanced around to make sure we were truly alone, and then said, “As I said, she left the church and married Duncan. Isabelle married a businessman in Lancaster and stayed in the county too. She and Ruby became as close as sisters. Zachary, your . . .” She sighed. “I can’t keep track of how many greats he would be. Anyway, he married Lettie and they had one son and several daughters and stayed with the Amish, helping to rebuild the community after so many had left.

  “Duncan inherited and farmed the Wallis place, and with Ruby’s help earned a decent living. Sadly, they never had children.”

  “Oh,” I said. That wasn’t what I expected. “So their land was sold?”

  Aenti shook her head. “No, they deeded it to Zachary’s son when they gave up farming. The Wallis land is part of the Bachmann farm.”

 
How had I missed that? “So the oak tree? The one that Ruby and Duncan met under? That’s our oak tree?”

  Aenti Suz nodded. “Jah, your and Silas’s tree.”

  The lay of the land hadn’t changed in all of these years. I started to laugh, but then thought of Ruby.

  “Is she buried in our cemetery?”

  “No, after she and Duncan deeded their place to their nephew, they moved to Philadelphia, to his parents’ estate. Isabelle and her husband went with them. For the last years of their lives, Ruby and Isabelle were ladies of a fine home, together.”

  I smiled. “What about Hans and Daniel and their families? Did they stay in Canada?”

  Aenti Suz cocked her head. “We’re not sure. There was no traceable Amish community up there until the early 1800s. They either moved back to the states and settled somewhere else, perhaps Ohio, or assimilated in Canada.”

  “What about Paul?”

  She answered, “I assumed he ended up wherever Hans and Daniel did.”

  “Was Ruby shunned?”

  Aenti Suz shrugged. “I don’t have details on that. Perhaps things were different back then or maybe just in their circumstances. Or maybe because Zachary had left to go off to war, he was more understanding of his sister.” She smiled. “And perhaps he felt more tenderhearted, considering Ruby probably saved his life by rescuing him and then nursing him back to health. Over two thousand soldiers died at Valley Forge that winter.”

  I grimaced.

  “Anyway,” Aenti Suz said, “it seems she and Zachary maintained a good relationship, don’t you think?”

  I nodded. It didn’t seem likely Duncan and Ruby would have left their property to Zachary’s son if they hadn’t.

  Zachary made me think of Dat. Perhaps my father had been understanding of Amos and me because he’d considered leaving. And, in a sense, he had by going off to Vietnam, to a war zone. I knew grace often begat grace. I shivered, vowing to continue to show grace to Leisel.

  I glanced out the kitchen window. Silas stood at the fence line with Arden and Milton, the oak tree behind him and beyond that the woods. Duncan and Ruby had given us so much.

  My heart swelled. Silas must have seen me through the window because he waved.

  “Go on out,” Aenti Suz said. “I’ll finish up.”

  “Denki,” I said. We were having the Youngie singing in our shed that evening, the first Silas and I would attend as a courting couple—again. We needed to help Mamm and Marie finish setting up. But first, we had time for a walk through the field and a stop under our oak tree.

  We weren’t the first couple, and we surely wouldn’t be the last, God willing, to court on the Bachmann farm. I wouldn’t be the first daughter to leave the farm either and make a new life somewhere else, most likely at the Stoltz place. But I would be the first daughter to have a say in how the family managed the land—thanks to the trust of my father. It was his act of grace, inspired by a loving God, that brought me to a place of harmony in my heart again, and ultimately back home.

  Acknowledgments

  I’m thankful to my husband, Peter, for his encouragement, medical expertise, and help with research. And for keeping me calm as I rush to meet deadlines! (I couldn’t do this without you.) I’m also grateful to our four children—Kaleb, Taylor, Hana, and Thao—who inspire me and also challenge me to see the world in deeper ways.

  A bouquet of thanks to Marietta Couch, my dear friend, who has shared her Amish experiences with me and acts as a sounding board for my wild ideas. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

  I’m indebted to Chip MacGregor, my agent, for his encouragement and ongoing belief in my ability to tell a good story.

  I’m very thankful for all of the good people at Bethany House Publishers—editors, designers, marketers, publicists, salespeople, and everyone else who works on behalf of my books. What a great team! A special shout-out to Jennifer Veilleux and Dave Long, who guided me through this particular story.

  I’m grateful for my father on earth, Bruce Egger, who passed away as I finished this book. Besides being a good man and father, he was also a good writer and an inspiration to my own storytelling. He taught me about the world and myself, up until the last day of his life. I’m so grateful he’s now in heaven.

  Most important, I’m thankful to my Father in heaven for His endless grace, mercy, and inspiration.

  Leslie Gould is the #1 bestselling and award-winning author of twenty-six novels, including the COURTSHIPS OF LANCASTER COUNTY and NEIGHBORS OF LANCASTER COUNTY series. She holds an MFA in creative writing and teaches at the college level. She enjoys research trips, church history, and hiking, especially in the beautiful state of Oregon where she lives. She and her husband, Peter, are the parents of four children.

  Books by Leslie Gould

  THE COURTSHIPS OF LANCASTER COUNTY

  Courting Cate

  Adoring Addie

  Minding Molly

  Becoming Bea

  NEIGHBORS OF LANCASTER COUNTY

  Amish Promises

  Amish Sweethearts

  Amish Weddings

  THE SISTERS OF LANCASTER COUNTY

  A Plain Leaving

  Resources: bethanyhouse.com/AnOpenBook

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