I bend over the camera and pretend to play with something on the side of it. Since the goal of this shoot is to make it look like a leaked sex tape I'm supposed to pretend to be turning all three cameras on in the room. The viewers will know that this is actually a studio production, but the sex tape angle is our storyline for this flick.
After pretending to play with the second and third camera, angling them just right, I walk seductively over to the bed and lie down. I primp and fluff my hair, adjust my clothing and pose seductively while staring at the door, waiting for Scott to enter. Seconds go by and I look over at the clock on the wall frustrated, before I start playing with my fingers, boredom written all over my face. As a few more seconds tick by I let my hands go on the prowl.
The palm of my right hand starts on my stomach and then slides lower, gliding down the front of the pink cheer shorts I'm wearing and between my legs. I don't rub myself. I just lightly caress the material as I let out a slow whimper. My left hand slides under my white tank top and moves upwards until my palm is covering my tit. I squeeze and moan, giving the camera exactly what it wants.
The bedroom door opens and in walks Scott as I'm gently fondling myself. His eyes slowly appraise my body and then he looks over at all three cameras, assessing the situation.
"Having fun without me?" Scott asks me in an odd tone. It's sexy, but it's not the way he usually talks. I decide to take his queue and talk slightly different as well.
"Just passing the time until you came home. Now the fun can begin," I reply seductively.
Scott's arms lift up behind his neck as he grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls it over his head, tossing it on the ground. His facial expression has become territorial, almost like a hunter when they look at their prey.
He stalks over to the edge of the bed and grabs on to my ankles before pulling me closer to him until my ass is practically hanging off the edge of the mattress. It's then that I stiffen up. I don't think I can go through with this.
Scott's watching me and I can see the second he realizes I'm not acting anymore. His body language changes and the hunter that was there before has softened, looking more like a concerned boyfriend. He leans over my body and tilts slightly to the side, blocking my entire body from the main camera.
His lips move to my ear. "It's just you and me, remember? Forget about the cameras or acting. It's just you and me. I've got you, beauty. You're safe."
His words reassure me and I can feel the fear start to leave my body. I turn into him and look up into those beautiful eyes I love so much and whisper, "Just you and me."
I lean in and kiss him and then we continue to shoot the scene. After three hours of being fucked helpless in a sex swing, masturbating in a Jacuzzi, bending over a stripper pole until both of my hands gripped the base as Scott fucked me in the ass, and having sex in positions I never even imagined, I'm spent. My body is sore and I can barely walk.
My emotions are all over the place, too. I'm happy because Scott just made enough money to stay alive, I'm upset because of what we had to do to get the money, and I'm sated because I definitely hit an all-time high for the most orgasms in one session of sex - nine. I'm pissed because my goal was not to have an orgasm on camera. I planned to fake them. I feel vulnerable because I just let a bunch of dirty old men watch me have sex and film it, so millions of other dirty old men can watch me.
I feel dirty myself because I've hit my ultimate low and there's no going back from something like this.
Chapter Nineteen
On the drive home we're quiet. Scott holds my hand but it's not comforting like it has been in the past. All I want to do is go home and take a long, hot shower and scrub off everything that we did today.
When we pull up in Scott's driveway he cuts the engine and removes his key from the ignition. He plays with the small metal circle, removing a silver key.
"Go let yourself in. I'll be back shortly."
"Maybe I should just stay at Jared and Autumn's tonight-"
"No. After the day we had today I need you to stay here. I need to know that we're okay."
I smile up at him and nod my head in agreement, but I'm actually not sure if we'll be okay. This morning I would have said yes, absolutely. But having sex on camera for three hours can change a person's perspective. I can't help but fear that no matter what the outcome of today was, we would never be okay again.
Grabbing the key from him, I open the passenger door and hop out. He watches me until I've made it inside his house and then he pulls out of the driveway. He didn't say it but he's leaving to go pay off his debt. The money feels dirty to me so I guess it would make sense that his dirty money was going to pay off his dirty habit.
Sinatra runs over, excited to see me. I pet her and kiss her before making my way down the hallway and straight into the master bathroom. I turn the shower on scorching hot before stripping out of my clothes. I'm in front of the mirror and when I look up, my reflection is staring back at me and I hate the woman I see.
I've always been a strong woman. I've owned my sexuality, never taken shit from anyone, and I've always done what I wanted to do, not caring what others will think. But today crossed a line, even for me, and I'm no longer proud to look at the woman staring back at me in the mirror.
Stepping into the shower I let the hot water surround me and cover me like a blanket. It burns my skin but with the pain also comes relief. Relief that I'm washing away the sins of today. I grab the purple shower sponge I have in Scott's shower and lather it with soap before scrubbing my body. I scrub with a purpose. I need to exfoliate every skin cell on my body in order to feel clean. After twenty minutes the water has started to cool because I'm pretty sure there's no hot water left in the tank. Every inch of my body is bright red and it makes me feel a tiny bit better.
I turn off the water and dry myself off before making my way into Scott's room. It's dark and he's still not home. Luckily, I have Sinatra to keep me company. She's sprawled out on Scott's bed waiting for me. Rummaging through Scott's drawers I throw on one of his t-shirts because I think I've been naked enough today. Moving over to the bed I slide under the covers and Sinatra joins me. She lies on her side and I just pet her, rubbing my hand up and down her fur.
Some time passes before Scott comes into the room. He's finally home. I look over at him as he starts to strip out of his clothing.
"Everything go okay? You pay off your debt?" I ask him
"Everything went perfect and I promise you, baby, I will never gamble again. The consequences aren't worth it."
He slips inside the bathroom and I listen as the water turns on. He showers quickly, obviously not feeling the same way I did when I was in there, and comes out in just a towel. He tosses it on top of his dresser before moving to the bed and slipping under the covers with me.
His naked body moves over to mine and he pulls me to him, spooning me from behind. His hand slides down the shirt I'm wearing until he reaches the hem and slips it underneath.
He wants sex? After everything that happened today he wants sex? I don't know which feeling rushing through my body is more intense right now- the need to cry or the need to punch him in the balls.
His hand slips to the opening between my legs as he parts my folds with his fingers. His mouth lowers to my ear. "I could have come fifty times today watching you. I want you right now, baby. I need to release some of this pent-up tension."
My body stills as I lower my hands to remove his hand from my southern region.
"Not tonight."
I can feel his whole demeanor change and I know he must be shocked. Since we started sleeping together I've never turned him down. Never.
"Is everything alright?" he asks me.
No, everything is not all right, but I can’t tell him that tonight. He was just able to save his own life and save the heartache the truth would bring his family. I can’t ruin that.
I turn over in his arms and look up at him. He still makes me melt inside. Still makes me feel things I've nev
er felt before. I'll get past this. I have to, because I can’t imagine losing the man in front of me.
"Everything's fine. I just want you to hold me tonight. Can you just hold me?" My voice breaks at that last sentence and I can feel the well of tears burst as they start to fall down my face.
"Of course, baby. Come here."
He pulls me in and hugs me as my hands wrap around his back. I bury my face in his chest as he lays his chin on top of my head. "Shhh. Everything is going to be fine, Winn. You're safe. Everything will be okay," he coos.
His words should make me feel better but they don't, because somewhere deep inside I know this is the beginning of the end.
★★★
Scott does a great job at lifting my spirits the next two weeks. He also barely lets me out of his sight. During the days I work, he almost always finds an excuse to tag along to Jared's with me, completely ignoring the fact that he should be working himself. He needs to try and get some new clients. On the days I don't work we usually just spend the day at his house. Surfing, reading, or just relaxing on the beach, and every single night I'm in his bed. He hasn't expressed it verbally but I know sleeping at Autumn and Jared's right now is off limits.
I'm starting to get past the events of two weeks ago and really hope for a future with him. He's been so attentive to me. I know he cares about me and there are even moments when I think he might love me, but I never bring it up. We don’t discuss feelings and I'm still his non-girlfriend.
Tonight, he surprises me by making dinner and an elaborate one at that. Lobster with homemade mashed potatoes and asparagus. I'm not a fan of red wine so a bottle of white wine from a vineyard up north sits on the table.
He's been doing things like this for me daily. He even woke me up this morning with beautiful flowers that he picked while taking Sinatra for a walk. It was unexpected, thoughtful, and dare I say, romantic.
The romanticism is in my head though. In all the talking we've done these past two weeks, the one thing we haven't talked about is our feelings for each other. It's like an unspoken agreement we have with each other and he seems to be fine with it, but I'm not. I don’t want to ruin the romantic evening he's set up for us tonight, so I'll talk to him about it tomorrow and see if we can both get on the same page.
After dinner we watch a movie on the large flat screen in the living room before heading to bed. I say goodnight to Sinatra while Scott locks up and we meet back in his room. I strip down to my birthday suit and climb into bed. I prefer to sleep naked when I'm with Scott. It's only on occasions like two weeks ago that I feel like covering up my body.
"Thank you for dinner. It was delicious."
"I'm glad you liked it," he replies as he strips off his clothing. I watch his every move, my eyes worshiping every inch of his ripped body. He flicks off the light and climbs into bed next to me. I cuddle up into his side and relax against him. I love just being near him.
"I was thinking about maybe getting away this weekend, maybe driving up north. What do you say?"
I look up at him in the darkness and smile. "Is this a solo trip or do you have room for one more?"
"Definitely room for one more," he whispers huskily. His mouth comes down to capture mine and we kiss. His lips feel like a soft caress and it awakens my desire for him. He takes his time with every movement and I respond back to him unhurriedly. His lips part and our tongues meet and I can faintly taste the wine from dinner mixed with mint.
My right hand slides up his bare chest to his neck. I pull him into me and escalate the kiss, moving my body passionately against him. He follows the command my body gives him and he rolls us over until I'm lying on my back and he's hovering over me. His lips separate from mine as he kisses down my body. A hunger for him takes over me with every touch of his lips. My nipples harden, my stomach tightens and when he kisses my lower stomach I feel all the blood in my body pull to my core.
His lips brush against my mound before he moves down slightly and his tongue licks between my folds.
"Fuckkkk..." I groan, lowering one of my hands to the top of his head where I can latch on to his hair. His tongue swipes against my clit before applying pressure and moving against me in a circular motion.
The sensation is heavenly.
His hands are on the prowl. His left hand comes up to play with one of my aroused nipples, pinching and pulling the tightened bulb. His right hand slides lower until it finds my awaiting center and two fingers plunge inside me. He thrusts them in and out and with every thrust I feel the tips of his fingers stroke against my g-spot. The intensity of him stimulating both my g-spot and clit is almost more than I can take.
His tongue stops moving as he sucks my bundle of nerves between his lips and I involuntarily thrust my hips upward as my body shudders in pleasure, wanting more of what he's giving me. My reaction turns him on even more and he starts thrusting his fingers inside me harder and faster. I groan again loudly, unable to pacify the intensity of what he's doing to me.
The warming sensations that will inevitably give me my orgasm start in my core, spreading throughout my lower belly and back. I'm chasing it, willing myself to catch it so I can come. I start to move faster against Scott's mouth and with every thrust of my hips I get closer, the sensation building stronger and stronger. I move against him again as he thrusts a third finger inside me and I explode.
"Oh... Scott," I whimper out as I come. He continues to plunge his fingers inside me, licking my clit until I'm completely sated. He pulls his fingers out from inside me and then slides up my body.
"Taste yourself, beauty. You taste so fucking incredible and I want you to have a taste," he whispers huskily. He's watching me with hooded eyes and I part my lips as his fingers slide against them. He inserts all three fingers and I suck, moaning at the succulent taste of my excitement.
Once I've cleaned myself off him; I bite down gently before releasing his fingers from my mouth. He hovers over my body and kisses me, licking and sucking my lips in case I've missed anything. I part my legs invitingly and his hips move in, lining himself up with my center. I wrap my legs around his waist and he pushes his hard, thick cock inside me.
"God, you feel incredible. You always feel so fucking good, Winn."
He's moving slow and steady, pushing himself completely inside me and then slowly pulling out, before repeating the movement again and again. He kisses my lips, my cheek and moving downward to kiss my neck, sucking my delicate skin between his lips and I'm sure I'll have a mark in the morning.
The way he's taking his time worshiping my body feels different than every other time before. The unfamiliar way he's moving against my body is not the way he fucks. It's the way he makes love.
My hands slide over his back and with every slow thrust I hold him tighter, my nails clawing at his back as I try to hold off on another orgasm. I want to make this last forever. I want to come with him.
His hips go from thrusting, to slow circular grinding, and I don't know how much more I can take, but I want to take it all. It's like our bodies were meant for making love. We're a perfect fit.
I tighten my walls around him, giving him a tighter fit and he groans.
"Holy shit," he growls. He starts thrusting inside me again, but this time it's hard and fast. I can’t hold off any longer. It feels too good. He's massaging me internally in just the right place and with every thrust he stimulates my clit. The sensation is too much to handle.
"I can't hold... I'm coming," I scream. I come violently against him, my pussy milking him hard as my nails scratch down his back. He grunts in pleasure and pain as he comes inside me a second later, filling me completely. His head falls against my neck as he breathes heavily.
In these few seconds we're one body, sharing the beautiful afterglow of the most intimate of acts. It's never been this intense with us before and that somehow makes it even better. I didn't event think that was possible. It's because of these feelings rushing through me that the next words come out of my mout
h, and they're possibly the dumbest.
My chin is on his shoulder as my hands move from his back and up to grasp his hair. "I love you," I pant out, still trying to catch my breath.
My hands still in his hair as his body stills on top of mine.
Oh, shit.
We stay like this for a while. Neither of us moving or breaking the connection between us, but he doesn't acknowledge what I've said either. Once our breathing has settled and our sweat has started to dry he pulls away from me, sliding his dick out from inside me and rolling over. We're both side to side on our backs and I don't know if I should bring up the eight letter phrase I just let escape my mouth.
Is it weird if I don’t acknowledge it? It's definitely weird that he hasn't. As the seconds tick by I grow more and more uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do. I could pass it off as a joke, but then I would be belittling my own feelings and that just seems wrong.
Scott turns over on his side to face me as his arm comes out to wrap around my stomach, pulling me closer to him.
"You know I care about you, right?" His question is like a slap in the face. I don’t look at him, in fear that I'll start crying uncontrollably and won't stop.
Why has being with him turned me into an emotional mess? Jesus! I've never been a crier, but since I met Scott it's become one of my regular emotions.
"Yeah, I know," I mumble.
"No, I really care about you. More than anyone I've ever been with before."
I turn into him and snuggle up to his chest so we're both lying on our sides. It's the only way I can show him that we're fine without showing him my face. I wouldn't be able to hide the emotion on my face right now.
"I know, Scott. I care about you, too."
We both grow silent and I pray for sleep to take over my body. It actually comes easier than I expected because one minute I'm laying wide-awake and the next minute the world goes black.
Chapter Twenty
Playing His Game (The Reynolds Brothers) Page 16