Renegade's Kiss

by Barbara Ankrum

  "I know what you mean," Creed agreed. "How are you, Jesse?"

  Jesse smiled a little sadly. "You mean for a farmer?"

  "I mean for a man who didn't want to come home." Creed glanced up after Andrea. "A few surprises waiting for you, eh?"

  "More than a few, it would seem," he admitted.

  "Thank God life keeps surprising us," Creed murmured, his eyes following his wife. "It would get very dull otherwise."

  "Funny," Jesse said, flexing his sore hand. "I was just wishing for a little bit of dull."

  Creed raised an eyebrow. "By the looks of your sister-in-law, dull is something you'll never get around here."

  "Too true, my friend. Too true."

  * * *

  Creed took a long sip of after-supper coffee, leaned back in the kitchen chair, and sighed with satisfaction. "That's the best cup of coffee I've had since we left Montana," he said, taking his wife's hand in his.

  Mariah looked up at him with a sparkle of amusement in her golden eyes. "He means since he met me," she corrected. "My coffee has been the butt of countless jokes since I first attempted it on a camp fire."

  "I wouldn't change your coffee for all the floating grounds in the world, ma petite," Creed murmured with a grin.

  "Good, because I'm afraid you're stuck with it for another fifty years, at least." Mariah's hand closed possessively over her husband's and the pair exchanged a look that spoke more loudly than words about the love they shared.

  Beside Jesse's chair, Mahkwi languished sleeping. Andrea had finally relented and allowed the wolf into the house. The animal had earned her place inside.

  Andrea's gaze flicked involuntarily to Jesse, who sat across the table from her holding Zachary on his lap. She found him watching her, too. His strained expression matched her own. She looked away quickly and wondered how long they could keep up this whole charade of civility.

  Except for the brief tour he'd given the Devereauxs of the farm, she and Jesse had been forced together while he and his friends reminisced about Montana and their hair-raising escape from the half-breed, Pierre LaRousse. She'd learned more about Jesse's other life in the past few hours than she had in the nearly three months since he'd been home.

  Their experiences had forged the kind of bond between them that explained why Creed and his wife had traveled several hundred miles out of their way to see Jesse. It was, she suspected, a bond that Jesse had never felt with her. After today, she wondered if it had ever actually existed at all, or if she'd made it all up in her head.

  Though she'd tried to keep the conversation light, the crackling tension between her and Jesse was so thick she couldn't help but wonder if Creed and Mariah noticed it. She hoped not, for their sakes, for she found herself liking the Devereauxs very much.

  Jesse shifted in his chair, his thoughts running along the same lines as Andi's. He ran a hand over Zachary's downy head, absorbing the warmth of the child in his arms and Zachary smiled up at him, eyes full of implicit trust. The look sent a shaft of pain through him. How much longer would he be able to hold him like this? he wondered. If not for the Devereauxs showing up, would Andi have even let him back in the house? The damage between them seemed irreparable.

  Yet, being with Creed and Mariah reminded him of how much the two of them had gone through to be together. The odds against them being this happy were closer to nil than his and Andi's ever were. Creed had been a bounty hunter before he'd met Mariah, a driven man with a heart full of pain. And Mariah had been intended for another man. Still, they'd made it and he'd never seen Creed look happier.

  "What made you pick Texas?" Andi asked, pouring more coffee in Mariah's cup.

  "Texas actually picked us," Creed answered with a grin. "Fortune—or rather, misfortune—would have it that the War has taken San Marcos's only sheriff. They took out an advertisement in a Deer Lodge newspaper and I answered it. Apparently I fit the bill, because they replied with a letter of acceptance and money enough to get us to Texas."

  Jesse shook his head. "I never thought you'd leave Montana. You love it as much as I do."'

  "Oui, that's true." Creed admitted, rubbing his thumb over the back of Mariah's hand. "But Montana winters kill the fragile and ravage the strong. It killed my mother, and I don't wish the same fate on my wife."

  Mariah shook her head. "The truth is, we're both looking forward to a new start. After what happened with Seth, well..."

  Jesse remembered the last time he'd seen Seth Travers, the man Mariah had traveled across half a continent to marry. He hadn't looked much better than Creed, whom he'd beaten bloody when he'd found out that Creed and Mariah had fallen in love with each other.

  Mariah's face looked haunted for a heartbeat before she brightened. "Texas will be different, but different is not necessarily bad. We've heard it's beautiful country. And the town is providing us with a house as part of the job."

  Jesse smiled. "You'll make a heck of a sheriff, Creed."

  "I'd better, because I plan to keep that job for a good long time." He looked from Andi to Jesse. "What about you, mon ami? Ohio seems to agree with you. From what we saw your place is prospering. Have you decided to stay on and become a farmer again?"

  Jesse stared first at the bruised knuckles on his hand, then up at Andi. "No," he replied flatly. "I thought for a while I might, but I guess I wasn't really cut out to be a farmer. Isn't that right, Andi?"

  She looked so shocked by his blunt comment that for a moment all she could do was stare. A flush crept up her neck. Jesse was immediately and profoundly sorry for pressing her to the wall in front of his friends.

  "I—yes," she said at last. "I suppose that's absolutely true." On the brink of losing her precious control, she stood, gathering up the supper dishes from the table.

  Jesse stood too, his hand brushing hers on a plate. "Here, I'll help you with that," he offered.

  She dropped the plate as if he'd burned her. Her eyes flashed to his. "No! I mean, no thank you, I can do it."

  Creed and Mariah exchanged a look and she rose beside Andi. "Why don't you men go outside and smoke your cigars or whatever it is you do after supper. I'll help Andi clean up here. We'll have it done in no time."

  "You don't have to do that," Andrea protested. "After all, you came here to visit with Jesse."

  "Don't be silly. It's been so long since I've had a woman close to my age to talk to I've nearly forgotten how. I'm beside myself with the need for gossip. Go on, now," she told the men. "Shoo! Let us get to work."

  Andrea reached for Zachary. "Here, I'll take him."

  Jesse fitted the babe against his shoulder. "I don't mind, and you've got your hands full. I'll watch him for a while, give him a little air... if that's all right with you."

  "I—all right."

  Creed and Jesse wandered out to the yard with the wolf at their heels. Mariah began to clear the dishes to the sink. "He's wonderful with your son," she said setting the dishes on the counter.

  Andrea forced a smile, but could feel tears threatening. "Yes, I know. They're terribly fond of one another. He, uh... he helped me to deliver Zachary, you know. He rode in when I was in labor and alone."

  Mariah's eyes widened. "Really? I suppose Zachary will miss him when Jesse leaves. If he goes, that is."

  Andrea set her dishes down in the sink and gave the pump two priming cranks. "Oh, he's leaving. I'm sure of that. Zachary will forget him in time." And so will I.

  "I see. That's too bad. This place seems good for Jesse."

  When Andrea didn't answer, Mariah moved up beside her and set the last of the dishes on the counter. Andrea dashed the tears from her cheeks with the heel of her hand.

  "Forgive me for prying; but I can see you're upset about something. I realize we don't know each other well, but sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger."

  Andrea swallowed back the emotions that threatened to undo her at Mariah's attempt at friendship. She braced her hands on the kitchen counter and stared out the window at the men wal
king near the barn.

  "Tell me, Andi," Mariah asked her gently. "Are you in love with him?"

  * * *

  "You're in love with her, no? mon ami," Creed asked as they walked under a darkening sky.

  "Well, you're direct, I'll say that for you." Jesse shook his head. "Is it that obvious?"

  Creed chuckled. "A blind man could have seen it."

  Jesse lifted the baby off his shoulder, and hiked him in the air over his head. Zachary opened his mouth in a squeal of pleasure. Jesse smiled. "Yes, I'm in love with her. I guess I've loved her half my life. I just didn't realize it until it was too late."

  "Too late?"

  "It's a long story. But I'm planning to leave as soon as I know Andi's safe and settled." He dropped a kiss on Zachary's soft cheek before settling him back on his shoulder. It had been a gesture so unconscious, so natural he felt himself color at Creed's scrutiny.

  "Andrea is the one you told me about once, no?" Creed asked. "The girl you left behind?"

  He nodded.

  "And she married your brother?" He nodded again, staring off into the distance. "Is that the problem between you, mon ami?"

  "In a way... no, not exactly... oh hell, you wouldn't understand."

  * * *

  "You don't understand," Andrea said, turning away from Mariah. "It's not as simple as whether I love him or not."

  Mariah sighed. "Yes, unfortunately, love is rarely simple. In fact," she agreed, "it's usually downright complicated. That makes it more painful, but also more precious. And if I don't miss my guess, Jesse's in love with you, too. Why you could practically light a kerosene lamp with the sparks flying between you two tonight."

  That was true, she knew. It had always been true between them, no matter what went wrong in their lives. "There's too much history between us," Andrea told her. "Too many hurts."

  "I thought the same thing once about myself and Creed. But it's amazing what love can overcome. Who would have thought Creed and I would ever be together, as happy as we are? Certainly not me." She pressed her hand against her abdomen tenderly. "And who would have thought we'd have a baby together?"

  Andi blinked. "You're with child?"

  Mariah nodded. "Isn't it wonderful?"

  A smile broke through Andi's tears. "Oh, Mariah, it is. Does Creed know?"

  She shook her head impishly. "I haven't told him. Yet. I haven't found the right time. I think I'll wait until we reach Texas. Otherwise, he'll only worry. You're the first to know."

  "I'm so happy for you both," Andi said, drawing her close.

  Mariah shook her head. "I'm sorry, Andi. It was thoughtless of me to bring that up while you're—"

  "No, it's all right, really. The world doesn't stop just because my life is out of kilter." She cranked the pump handle until the water splashed into the washbasin underneath it.

  "Y'know," Mariah said softly, "Jesse is very dear to me. If not for him, I don't think Creed and I would be together today. Or alive for that matter. But even in Montana, there was something missing in Jesse... some spark he's found here I think. To see him with you and your son... there's a peace within him despite whatever you two are going through. He's a wonderful man with so much to give."

  Andrea sniffed and gave her a tremulous smile. "And I'm sure one day he'll find a woman to give it all to. But it won't be me, Mariah."

  * * *

  "She'll find herself a farmer with dirt running in his veins," Jesse told Creed, "someone who can be for her what she needs. But it won't be me. As soon as that happens, I'm going back to Montana where I belong." Zachary's open mouth found Jesse's chin with a wet squeak of delight.

  Creed raised one eyebrow at the sight. "Little Zachary might disagree with you."

  Jesse smoothed one hand down the boy's hair. "Yeah... well..." He pressed his lips against the boy's cheek as if to stave off that impending doom. "I'll miss him, too."

  "You know, Jesse, Montana is just a place, like this place. It's never either as good or as bad as you remembered it. I never imagined myself leaving the mountains, but when I try to think of what my life would be like now without Mariah, well, it doesn't matter where I wind up. I'd go to hell and back to be with her."

  "I know and I'm happy for you both." Jesse's eyes met Creed's for a long painful moment. "But I hurt Andi, Creed. Not once, but twice. Hell, I didn't mean to, but I did."

  He told Creed about his misguided plan to find Andi a husband despite the fact he was falling in love with her himself. "She has every reason to hate me," he said. "I doubt she'll ever forgive me this time... and she's probably right."

  * * *

  "I'm not sure anymore what's right or wrong," Andrea told Mariah, handing her a wet plate. She buried her hands in the water and scrubbed another dish clean. "For a while, I thought I knew. I was sure he'd come to realize he loved me and give up his wandering ways. Now, I'm sure that won't happen."

  "Don't give up on him, Andi," Mariah advised. "A man like Jesse is worth fighting for."

  "Maybe I'm just tired of doing all the fighting," Andrea replied.

  Mariah put her hand on Andi's. "I suppose I'm a hopeless romantic and I just want to see everyone find the happiness I have. But I know better than to believe it always works out that way." She gave Andi's hand a squeeze. "Whatever you do, don't let your pride stand in the way of your happiness, Andi. It would be a terrible mistake."

  * * *

  Jesse inhaled deeply of the scent of sun-browned cornfields and the fragrance of roses drifting on the evening air currents.

  "All these years, I've been running from something I thought I hated, only to discover it was me I was trying to get away from. The key to my life was right here all along, with Andi. I held it, Creed, right in my hand. I was this close..." He shook his head. "I've been a damn fool, but hell, I suppose that's nothing new. I guess I take after the old man in a way after all."

  Creed leaned his forearms against the paddock rail and looked sideways at his friend. "You must do what you think is best, mon ami. For your sake, and hers, I only hope you don't regret your decision."

  * * *

  Creed and Mariah stayed that night and the next. Creed spent the day out in the hayfield with Jesse and Silas cutting and stacking hay. Mariah spent her time fussing over the baby and becoming fast friends with Andi. It had been a long time since Andrea'd had a friend to confide in. She would miss Mariah when she left.

  That time came all too soon. On the morning of the third day, Creed threw the last of their bags into their rented hack. Jesse and Andi stood beside one another for the first time in days, separated by only a handspan of distance. Somehow, having Creed and Mariah there the last few days had served as a much-needed buffer between her and Jesse. Gone was the animosity that had been there earlier. What was left more closely resembled a fragile peace than real friendship, but Andrea decided she could live with that.

  Creed took his hat off and smiled at her. "Andi, it has been a real pleasure getting to know you. For your hospitality, merci. Good luck to you and your son, cheri." He bent and brushed her cheek with a kiss. "If you're ever in Texas—"

  "—consider our home yours," Mariah finished, hugging Andi tightly and kissing the baby in her arms. "It's been a wonderful two days. I do hope you'll come and see us if you get the chance."

  "I hope so too," she answered. "You never know. Take care and be safe, you two." She winked secretly at Mariah as if to say, "you three."

  "Jesse," Mariah said, hugging him, "thank you for everything. We couldn't let the chance pass to tell you how much you mean to us."

  Jesse's throat tightened with unexpected emotion. "You take care of him, Mariah. See he doesn't get into too much trouble."

  "Oh, he'll try, I'm sure of that." She grinned at her husband. "It's in his nature."

  Creed sighed. "See what I have to put up with?" He shook Jesse's hand and clapped him on the shoulder. "Where's Silas? I wanted to say good-bye to him."

  "He's over at the Rafferty's p
lace this morning, helping John clear away what's left of his barn," Jesse said. "I'll tell him you said good-bye."

  Creed nodded. "Adieu, mon ami. Bon chance."

  "You too, my friend. Let us—me know how you are."

  "I will." Creed's gaze went a little sadly from Jesse to Mariah, then to his wife. "Come on, cheri. San Marcos is waiting."

  They climbed up into their buggy, waved goodbye and were gone before either Jesse or Andi were ready for it. For a long time, they stood there together without speaking, lost in their own private thoughts. A fickle wisp of breeze turned the hot, humid air around them.

  Finally, Jesse turned to Andi. "I guess I'd better get back to the hay."

  She nodded. "I liked your friends."

  "They liked you. They're your friends now, too. You can bank on that."

  "Jesse?"

  "Yeah?"

  She hesitated. "Nothing."

  Jesse's gaze searched hers for a long moment before he turned to go, but the sound of approaching horses brought his head around.

  They rode into the yard, three mounted soldiers in Federal blue, in a cloud of dust stirred in the dry soil. The captain and two privates pulled to a stop before them. The young officer lifted off his hat to reveal thick, dark hair and handsome features. When his eyes met hers, his lips parted in a half-smile of recognition before he caught himself. She remembered him. He was the soldier she'd seen that day at church... the one who had stared at her and tipped his hat.

  "Mornin', ma'am, sir. Are you Winslow?" the captain asked. "Jesse Winslow of Willow Banks Farm?"

  "That's me," he replied.

  "Captain Micah Steele, of the 5th Illinois under Major Leland Cross. These are Privates Deeds and Johnson."

  Jesse squinted at them. "How can I help you Captain?"

  Steel's sharp gaze swept the house and outbuildings.

  Private Deeds spoke. "That barn'll do, Captain." Steele nodded.

  Jesse frowned suspiciously. "Do for what?"

  "For us, Mr. Winslow," Steele answered. "We're requisitioning your barn."

  Chapter 20

  "My barn?" Jesse repeated incredulously. "What in the devil for?"