The Results of Unrequited

by Len Webster

  Gripping her car keys tightly in her hand, she felt the keys’ edges dig into her skin, distracting her and allowing her to feel something other than the ache in her chest. “I’ll be okay. He needs to get back to Stanford more than he needs to be with me at the moment.”

  Her mother stepped away from the front door and set her hand on AJ’s shoulder. “And what happens when you go back to Duke?”

  “I don’t know,” she said in a tiny voice as she craned her neck to see her father and Evan embracing. “But whatever happens, he knows I love him, and I know he loves me … We’ll figure it out.”

  “Would you transfer to Stanford to be with him?”

  AJ’s heart stopped.

  It would be so simple if she did transfer to Stanford.

  They wouldn’t have distance, and they could finally be together.

  “No,” she found herself saying. “I love Duke. Duke was the plan, and I’m not giving up on MIT. If I go to Stanford, everything I’ve done so far would be for nothing.” She smiled when Evan turned her way and began to walk toward her.

  “Mrs. Parker, I’m so sorry that I can’t join you and Mr. Parker for breakfast,” Evan said with a hint of sadness in his voice when he reached them.

  Her mother stepped away from AJ, walked down the small steps, and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

  “Clara,” her father said with a laugh. “He’s going to miss his flight if you don’t let him go.”

  AJ joined them on the bottom step and watched her mother pull away from Evan with tears in her eyes. “I know,” she sobbed. “I just never got to see him go to college.”

  Guilt plagued her heart.

  Consumed it entirely.

  She had denied her parents and Evan that moment, and she’d never be able to make amends for it.

  “I’ll be home for Thanksgiving if you’ll have me.”

  “It wouldn’t be the same without you,” her father said next to him.

  Evan smiled. “Thanks, Mr. P. I will see you both in November. You ready to go, AJ?”

  AJ.

  Not Alexandra.

  It was the first time he’d called her by the nickname he’d given her since Rhode Island. She should feel disappointed that he didn’t call her Alexandra, but something about the way he said AJ made her heart melt. That even though there was love between them, their friendship would never change. She would remain the most important person in his world.

  She was still his best friend.

  “Yeah,” she replied before she kissed her mother on the cheek and then her father. “I’ll see you when you get home from work.”

  “Drive safely,” her mother said, and AJ nodded.

  She followed Evan down the path and to her car parked by the curb. It had been some time since she’d driven her car and was thankful that her father had backed it out of the garage for her while they waited for Evan. Heading over to the driver’s side door, she pressed the button on the handle and unlocked her car. She yanked on the handle, opened it, and slipped inside. As she clicked her seat belt in place, Evan got into the passenger seat, closed the door, and put on his seat belt.

  AJ smiled as she pressed the button to start the car and then put it into drive. Evan waved to her parents waiting in front of her house, and AJ pulled away from the curb and headed in the direction of Logan International.

  When AJ slowed down at the stop sign at the end of the street, Evan’s hand settled on her thigh. She peeked over to see the small, reassuring smile on his face. “Stop,” he pleaded.

  AJ flinched. “What?”

  “What you’re thinking. I saw your reaction when your mother mentioned how she never saw me go to college. She didn’t mean it that way, Alexandra.”

  “I know she didn’t.” She focused back on the road, crossing the intersection when she saw it was clear. As she continued to drive, she said, “You just called me Alexandra. You called me AJ in front of my parents.”

  She heard him inhale a sharp breath before he instructed, “Pull over for a second.”

  Seconds later, AJ had pulled over by the curb. She shifted in her seat to find Evan staring at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “You have always been AJ to me,” he said as he grasped her hand and threaded his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. “But with your parents, I can’t say Alexandra without them knowing or sensing we’ve been intimate. That I’ve made love to the daughter they’ve trusted me with all my life. Calling you AJ around them keeps the peace. I don’t know if you noticed it, but when I called you Alexandra at the dinner table last night, your father cringed. I saw the suspicion in his eyes after I looked at you. Your parents might know, but we shouldn’t confirm we’ve had sex. You’re their little girl, remember?”

  A small laugh escaped her. His reasons were unnecessary, but she appreciated them. “But I like you calling me Alexandra.”

  “More than AJ?”

  Her smile stretched farther. “I love you calling me AJ, too. I love them both because only you call me them. And don’t worry about my dad. He’ll get over it.”

  Evan chuckled. “I don’t think your father will ever get over knowing that I know his daughter intimately. That I’ve touched her. Felt her. Loved her in a room filled with candles as she moaned my name. To have her kiss me and hold me as I made love to her. Held her like I have the rest of my life with her. That I’ve made her come—”

  “Stop!” she quickly said, not wanting to hear more. Not because she was embarrassed but because his words increased her pulse and made it hard for her to breathe. The memories of them flashed before her so vividly. There was no way she would ever forget the sight of Evan Gilmore between her legs, giving her the best pleasure she’d ever known.

  He laughed once more and then leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. “God, I love knowing that I make you blush.” His hand settled on the back of her neck as he looked deep into her eyes. “But I don’t love it as much as the way you look at me, Alexandra. With love full in your eyes. And I definitely don’t love it more than when you tell me you love me or when you moan my name like you’ve been missing me your entire life when I’m inside you.”

  AJ rolled her eyes. “That was almost romantic. What else do you know?”

  The wicked grin on his face faded into a soft smile. “I know I love you and that you make me feel right and loved. I know you’re the only person who could really, truly love me the way I always knew I could be loved. I know I’ll miss you so damn much while I’m in California. I know I love you here,” he said once his hand dropped from her neck to her chest, and he let out a shaky breath. “And I know I will love you there, and that I’ll love you with over two thousand miles between us.”

  The very words that brought that ache to return to her chest.

  The very words he’d uttered when he made love to her.

  The very words she believed.

  AJ reached over and settled her palm to his chest, whispering, “I love you here. I love you there.” She covered his palm on her chest with her other hand. “I’ll love you with over two thousand miles between us.”

  And it was an oath she made him.

  An oath much stronger than a promise.

  An oath that was meant for life.

  53 I

  iodine

  ALEX

  Now

  “I was supposed to make you breakfast,” Alex complained as they walked toward Chino’s. It became their favorite coffeehouse during her freshman year since her roommate, Savannah, was one of the baristas.

  Landon reached the glass door first. “It’s the thought that counts. You can make me breakfast before I leave for New Haven.”

  Alex gave him a blank expression, dissatisfied with their compromise. “But you have an early morning flight.”

  Laughing, Landon set hi
s hands on her shoulders. “How about I let you sleep in, and I’ll cook for you and your parents on Sunday?”

  “You really are the world’s best boyfriend,” she praised as she got on her tippy toes and kissed him full on the lips. Pulling back, she smiled. “But aren’t you going to be tired? You’re going to New Haven tomorrow, Pittsburg for the game on Saturday, and then back to Duke.”

  “I’ll be fine.” He squeezed her shoulders, then opened the door, allowing Alex to enter the coffee shop first. The moment she stepped inside, the smell of freshly ground coffee beans engulfed her. Alex had never been one for coffee until the day Landon had given her a cup during one of her intense physics papers she’d spent three nights working on. Coffee was her go-to during finals, but afterward, she returned to her true love of tea.

  “You stupid bitch! Do you have any idea who I am?” Alex heard someone scream. She turned her head in the direction of the counter to find a tall, muscular man pointing and screaming at her best friend. Alex took a step toward the counter, ready to tell him to leave Savannah alone.

  Suddenly, fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her. She turned to find Landon shaking his head at her. “I’ve got this. You stay behind me, okay?”

  “She’s my best friend,” Alex countered.

  “And you’re my girlfriend. I know this guy, Alex. He’s been doing some hard stuff, and I don’t want you near him if he snaps. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Landon released her wrist and marched toward the counter with Alex not far behind him. But instead of staying by Landon’s side, she went around the counter and stood in front of Savannah.

  “That’s enough,” Alex said as Landon stretched his arm across the football player she’d seen around campus. The football player’s arm swung, trying to get away, and he slapped her across the cheek. Alex stumbled into Savannah, who caught her.

  “Alex! Are you okay?” Savannah asked frantically as she held Alex up.

  “What the fuck, Jules? That’s my girlfriend!” Landon pulled Jules back.

  Alex pressed her palm to her stinging cheek and watched Landon push the football player farther away from the counter. “Landon!” she shouted. There was no way she’d let them fight. Her boyfriend was the captain of the basketball team, so he couldn’t afford to get in trouble or get suspended. The team needed him, and she wouldn’t let him or them suffer this season.

  “Are you all right?” Landon asked, his back turned to her.

  “I’m fine but back away. He’s not worth it,” she reasoned as Savannah let her go.

  Landon shook his head. “He’s definitely worth it. It’s one thing to yell at my girlfriend’s best friend, but it’s another to hit my girlfriend. You apologize to both girls right now. I don’t think your coach will like you being sidelined for the rest of the season because I will fucking hurt you. I will make sure you wish you’d never stepped foot in this coffee shop for the rest of your life.”

  “Seriously, Carmichael? You really want to defend a frigid and your girlfriend—what’s her name? Red Sox’s little slut? You’re a joke if you think your girlfriend hasn’t slept with at least half of that team.”

  Landon’s body tensed as his hand clenched into a tight fist. She noticed him shaking before he pulled back his arm and threw a punch to Jules’s jaw.

  One minute, the stocky football player was upright.

  The next, he was on the floor.

  Then her boyfriend squatted, and said, “You talk shit about my girlfriend again, and I’ll make sure they all know what you’ve been doing before games.” He leaned forward and whispered something Alex couldn’t hear.

  Savannah stepped in front of Alex and blocked her sight of her boyfriend and Jules. Her best friend pulled her palm away from Alex’s cheek and held up a dish towel filled with ice cubes. She gently pressed it to Alex’s cheek, causing her to flinch. “I’m so sorry, Alex,” Savannah said with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t know he was gonna hurt you. Oh, God, your cheek is so red.”

  Alex let out a small laugh as Savannah lifted the makeshift ice pack. “I’ll be okay. Are you okay? He was yelling at you, and you were shaking.”

  “Alex, he hit you. Are you okay?”

  “Sav, I’m fine,” Alex assured her with a smile. The stinging and the shock of being hit still lingered, but she was okay. “What happened?”

  Savannah’s shoulders fell as her once bright blue eyes clouded. “He tried to make a move on me last night at that frat party, and I said no. He wasn’t happy that he got nothing out of me. His pride got shot. I’m so sorry he hurt you. I thought if we talked here, he wouldn’t do anything.”

  Alex stepped forward and set her hands on her best friend’s arms. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Sav. I’ll be fine. It’ll probably be red for a while, but I’m fine.”

  “It’ll bruise.”

  Alex sighed. “I bruise like a cantaloupe. So it’s to be expected. Though, I am meeting my parents later tonight … so it’ll be interesting to see what they think.”

  “Noel and Clara are gonna think the worst. I can stop by Landon’s before you go out and help cover it up.”

  “That’s sweet, Sav, but there’s no need. If it shows, it shows. I have some powder to tone it down—”

  A cough interrupted her, and Savannah turned around. Jules, with his messy black hair and dark brown eyes, stood at the counter with Landon.

  “Apologize,” Landon ordered.

  Jules’s jaw clenched. “I’m sorry, Savannah. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You’re not interested; I get it. And, Alex, I’m sorry I hit you and said those degrading things about you. Things that aren’t true. I apologize to you both.” Then he faced Landon. “There, are you happy? I apologized. You’re not gonna rat me out?”

  Landon shook his head. “No … but the drug tests will.”

  “What?”

  “They lied to you. That stuff shows up before any other drug. So good luck on your upcoming suspension, Jules.”

  “You’re a fuckin’ asshole, Landon,” Jules hissed before he bumped Landon’s shoulder on his way out of Chino’s.

  “At least I don’t need drugs to play,” Landon said to himself as he turned and faced her and Savannah. “Alex, God, are you okay?”

  Her lips pressed into a tight smile. “I’m okay.” She glanced down to see his red knuckles. “Are you?”

  “I’ll live,” he said with a grin when her gaze met his. “Always hated him. Savannah, are you all right?”

  “I’m good. Thanks, Landon. I’m so sorry I ruined your birthday,” Savannah said, guilt blooming in her voice as she set the ice pack on the counter. She reached under the counter and pulled out a small wrapped box and an envelope. “Happy Birthday, Landon.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. You let me know if he ever gives you trouble. You’ll have the entire basketball team looking out for you. And you shouldn’t have gotten me a gift, Sav, but thank you, I really appreciate it.”

  Savannah smiled. “Oh, I most certainly had to. I’d be the worst best friend ever if I didn’t. Now, don’t go thinking it’s amazing. It’s not. All right, y’all go sit down, and I’ll get y’all some coffee.”

  Alex didn’t fight her as she glanced around the quiet coffee shop. “Sav, where is Ritz and the rest of the staff?”

  Her best friend rolled her eyes. “Scheduling conflicts. I had to open by myself before the rush comes in. They’re all starting in an hour. That’s why I let Jules in before opening.”

  “Well, don’t let Jules near you again,” Alex lectured.

  “I won’t,” Savannah promised.

  “Are you sure you’re all right? We don’t need to see a doctor?” Landon asked, concern bright in his eyes.

  Alex sighed. “I’m fine, Landon. This wasn’t how your birthday was supposed to be.”

  Her boy
friend reached across the table and took hold of her hands, tracing circles with his thumb. “My girlfriend woke me up to the best sex of my life. I also watched her try to take on a fullback for attacking her best friend. Trust me, Alex, this is one hell of a birthday. So long as I get to spend it with you, I’m happy.” Then he lifted her left hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

  Her heart melted.

  “God, I love you,” she said in awe of him.

  Landon set her hand back down on the table. “Was there anywhere we had to go for my birthday surprises that involved you spending a ridiculous amount of money?”

  Alex pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Nope. There is a place we have to go to, but I didn’t spend any money on it. It’s actually your real surprise.”

  “Okay. We’ll go there next. Then can we go home and just watch a movie together before dinner with your parents? I really don’t need you getting hurt again.”

  “I promise the next time a football player starts throwing his arms, I’ll be ready to hit first. Honestly, that slap barely stung. It was just a shock.” She took in his concerned expression and attempted a smile for him. “You know it’s not true, right? Me and the Red Sox. It’s not true.”

  Landon winced. “Of course, I know it’s not true, baby.”

  Relief poured into her chest.

  His blue eyes softened as he released her left hand and covered the other. “I might not have been your first, Alex, but what matters is that I’m the last guy you fall in love with and remain in love with.”

  The smallest hint of insecurity betrayed his facial expression. His lip twitched, and fear flashed in his eyes. He was scared she’d go back on her choice. A choice she’d made with her whole heart.

  The heart he’d healed and loved.

  So long as he continued to love her, treat her right, and respect her, he would be the last guy she ever loved. Because Landon Carmichael was her everything the moment he walked her back to her dorm after their first date together.

  “Landon …”