Leave Me Breathless

by HelenKay Dimon

  The papers crumpled in her fist. She didn’t even realize she had grabbed them until she heard the crunching sound. “You don’t play fair.”

  “I warned you.”

  She looked at him then.

  The signs were right there. Pulsing tension. A glimmer of heat in those eyes. Fingers that stretched and curled as if getting ready for something.

  “Do the other judges know about your nasty side?” she asked.

  “Only you, babe.”

  “Would you settle for a kiss?”

  He stared at the ceiling and pretended to think about it. “Depends on the type of kiss.”

  “One that turns your hair gray.”

  “Now you’re talking.”

  “No lap.”

  “Your loss.”

  Oh, that much she knew.

  She shifted around his desk. Sat her butt down on the edge, right in front of him, with her hands balanced behind her. The position put her warm body between his open thighs. She tried very hard not to focus on the bulge she saw there.

  “Are you going to behave?” she asked, hoping he’d say no.

  “I hadn’t planned on it.”

  Good man. “Well? Aren’t you going to come up here and kiss me?”

  He shook his head. “It’s up to you.”

  Looked like the lap part was inevitable. She slid onto one knee, trying to keep her feet steady on the floor in case she needed to jump back up again.

  He was having none of it. He scooped his arm under her knee and brought her in close to his chest. She threw an arm around his neck to keep from falling against him in a heap. In that position, every inch of her pressed against him. Her mouth lingered just inches from his.

  “I like this position.” He whispered the admission against her cheek.

  “Stop talking.”

  Her mouth slid over his, tasting and caressing. Lips against lips, she brought him into her. Pressed her nails into his back with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other. A low rumble sounded around them, the mix of his moan and her blinding need. She wanted to brush her palms all over him, but she kept her touches light. Let her long, hot kiss speak for her.

  “Excuse me.” The familiar words rang out in the room.

  Wrong voice.

  She pulled her mouth away from Ben’s and swiveled around to stare at the office door. Rod stood there with a smug air about him. His stance telegraphed a mix of contempt and disgust.

  She searched her mind for something smart to say. Even something dumb would have been welcome, but her mouth refused to work. Her brain didn’t exactly whirl to life, either.

  “You need to knock before you come in,” Ben said, his voice exploding through the room with the force of cannon fire.

  Callie tried to jump off his lap, but Ben anchored her there.

  “Sorry.” But there was nothing in Rod’s tone to suggest a genuine apology. And he hadn’t made a move to get out, either.

  Ben cleared his throat twice before talking again. “Rod, go to your office. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Yes, sir.” Rod shot her a victorious smile and then left without closing the door.

  “I hate that kid,” she grumbled.

  “He’s not my favorite person at the moment, either.” Ben gentled his grip on her thighs. “I’m guessing you forgot to lock the door.”

  “Clearly. Although, in my defense, I wasn’t expecting a slap and tickle session.”

  “Me, either. I was thinking of a kiss.”

  She smoothed her hand down the buttons of her shirt. “Let me up.”

  “I wasn’t done.” Ben had the nerve to look sulky when he said it.

  “Are you kidding me? I have to break this off and go strangle the interfering little pisher before he runs blabbing all over the courthouse.” She thought about cramming a case folder down Rod’s throat while she was at it. That would keep him from talking.

  No way was that interruption a mistake. Rod timed the whole scene perfectly. He wanted to catch them together. And did.

  “What exactly is a pisher?” Ben asked.

  “Nothing good.” She noticed he didn’t look the least bit upset about being caught in midstrip. “Not that you were all that helpful.”

  “Did you want me to beat Rod up?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought I’d try talking to him instead.” The practical judge persona was firmly back in place. His hands had moved from her ass to his chair.

  Callie wasn’t impressed with the sudden professionalism. “Wrong.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “That kid has been gunning for me.” She couldn’t exactly tell Ben all about how she tracked most of the nastier courthouse rumors back to Rod’s door. Well, she could, but she didn’t want to be one of those women who needed a big strong man to fight her battles for her. “Just trust me on this, but my point was about you not letting go when the door swung open. You could have, at least, let me jump up and demand an explanation for why he walked in.”

  “Couldn’t.”

  “Why?”

  “My erection would have given us away.”

  She felt the press against her butt. “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.”

  “So now what?”

  “I say the alphabet backward a few hundred times, get myself together, and then go kick Rod’s ass.”

  “I’m all for the last part of that plan. About time.”

  “I was kidding.” Ben pushed her to her feet and then stood up next to her. “I’m going to talk with Rod. No ass kicking needed.”

  “That’s never going to work. The kid doesn’t understand rational conversation. He responds to threats.”

  Ben placed a hard, fast kiss on her lips. “This is an office protocol issue. Frankly, I violated a few rules over the last week as well. But you’re going to stay out of this conversation.”

  “Sorry. Can’t.” She tried to sound contrite, but she wasn’t. Not one bit. “I need to be where you are at all times.”

  “You can wait in the hall.”

  Good Lord, he was serious. “That’s not going to happen, Ben.”

  “You’ll be able to listen in without Rod knowing. Think of the rush of power you’ll get from that.”

  “I’d rather punch him.”

  “Maybe next time.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  A half hour later, Ben left a fuming Callie leaning against the wall in the hallway as he knocked on Rod’s door. Ben wasn’t waiting for a formal invitation to come in. He was trying to show how the whole knocking thing worked. Callie could take a lesson on that as well.

  Rod put down the phone and shot out of his seat the second Ben entered. Ben appreciated the quick attention and show of deference. Not that either of those reactions would make the next few minutes more comfortable. Talking propriety after getting caught with his hands under Callie’s blouse seemed a bit hypocritical. But this was his office and with or without the death threats, whether Callie worked there or not, he would run it and do it his way. He was the boss. Being out of control of the situation had gone on long enough. He’d get things back on track. Somehow.

  “Sir, I’m sorry.” This time Rod sounded contrite.

  “Sit down.” Ben shut the door and took the seat across from Rod in the claustrophobic office.

  The stark white walls didn’t do anything to make the windowless room feel bigger or one ounce more comfortable. No personal items littered the surfaces. Only a desk, a computer, and a small bookcase with rows of legal resource materials. A sort of lawyer’s prison cell.

  Ben had only been in there a few minutes, and the place already depressed him. “We have a problem, Rod.”

  “I should have knocked.”

  “True.”

  “I thought you were alone.”

  “Obviously.” Ben shifted, trying to find a position that didn’t cramp his legs. “I could have been in a private meeting with lawyers, or with another judge. It is not appropriate for
you to barge in. By my count, you’ve done that twice in the past week. This had better be the last time.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Ben folded his hands together in his most serious judge pose. “Are we clear on the expectations and rules?”

  Rod gave Ben a nervous nod. “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  “Again, I’m sorry.”

  “Understood.” With the angry boss man stuff out of the way, Ben turned to the part he dreaded. The personal, noone’s-business stuff he had hoped would never creep into the workplace.

  When it came to the rumors about Emma, Ben had chosen to ignore them. Explaining the true nature of their relationship to anyone who would listen would only have highlighted the whispers and made her life more difficult. She had answered enough questions about her failed engagement. Having him defect and publicly deny the romance would only shine the light back on her, and he wasn’t about to do that.

  But Callie was a different story. The rumors on this one were true, and that made all the difference.

  Ben sat up straighter with his back tight against the chair. “Look, about what you saw in my office earlier—”

  “I won’t say anything.”

  Rod’s man-to-man tone didn’t make the situation any easier for Ben. The clerk was about fifteen years younger, still filled with enthusiasm for the legal career ahead of him. He took pride in his job and did it well. The anything-to-please attitude made Ben feel about ninety. He half expected his bones to creak when he crossed his legs.

  “While I appreciate you keeping this between us, for Callie’s sake more than anything—” At the mention of her name Ben saw Rod’s face fall. “What’s wrong?”

  Rod shook off the anger hovering around him. “Nothing.”

  “It’s something.” It looked to Ben as if Callie wasn’t so paranoid after all. “You don’t like her very much, do you?”

  “She’s not my business.”

  Ben agreed with that assessment, but it really didn’t answer the simple question on the table. “She is part of a trial courthouse program implemented by the administrative judge.”

  “Sir, you don’t have to explain.”

  But he couldn’t stop himself. It was as if he needed to make sure Rod got the point that Callie wasn’t just some bed warmer. Ben knew that. He wanted the courthouse gossip train to tell the story right. Callie wasn’t using him. If anything, he was using her. He wanted to be with her and couldn’t turn that desire switch off.

  Ben drew in a long intake of breath. “I do, because I need you to understand the facts. My personal life is private. It should not be the topic in the lunchroom or anywhere else. But it was my responsibility to keep what should have been a non-work moment out of the office. I failed in that. From now on, I will do better.”

  Rod’s mouth flatlined. “This wasn’t your fault.”

  “It wasn’t Callie’s, either.”

  “If you say so.”

  No waffling there. Rod blamed Callie. Ben didn’t know how to fix that so he went around it. “We still haven’t resolved our issue.”

  “Sir?”

  “You’ve been disrespectful to Callie.”

  Rod’s eyes popped open. “Did she tell you that? She’s lying, because that’s not true.”

  “She didn’t say anything. I’m going by what I see. Frankly, you don’t hide your dislike very well. You frown and pout. For the record, that behavior is not professional.”

  “I haven’t said anything.”

  “It’s your attitude. Rod, you’re going to meet all types in your law practice. You have to figure out how to get along with people you don’t like whether those people be fellow lawyers, judges, or your clients. Trust me, you’ll hate a lot of them.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You need to be less obvious about your feelings so that no one confuses your affect with a lack of respect. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “Definitely.”

  Rod didn’t. Ben could see the anger right there, festering. Could hear it in the clipped tone of Rod’s voice. Instead of making the situation tolerable, Ben feared he had just made it worse. Rod would blame Callie for the dressing-down.

  Hell, Callie would probably have a word or two about how he said it all wrong. Ben thought about sneaking out of the building to avoid that conversation. He might have if Rod’s office had a window and a stalker didn’t lurk around waiting to pounce.

  “If there’s nothing else…” Ben started to rise.

  “Sir, can I be frank?”

  The comment made Ben wonder what they’d been doing up until that point. He plopped back down in the hard wooden chair. “Of course.”

  “It’s about Callie.”

  Ben swallowed a sigh. “I figured as much.”

  “See…it’s…”

  “Just spit it out, Rod.”

  “Her past is not a secret.”

  The need to get up and out of there stopped whipping around inside of Ben. Everything stopped. “What past?”

  “With her former boss.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Rod’s frown eased slightly. “In the FBI.”

  How the hell did the kid know about the FBI? Ben tried to imagine Mark’s reaction to that information leak. When Callie started working for Mark her FBI file got buried. Ben knew because he had tried to find it.

  “Okay, why don’t you tell me what you think you know?” Ben asked.

  “This isn’t important.”

  The kid was playing now. He practically vibrated with the need to spill his news. Ben could see the energy, feel it humming through the small room. “Just tell me.”

  “Not to be abrupt or rude, but she slept with her boss, got him in trouble with his wife, and then claimed harassment when the whole thing blew up in her face.” Rod raced through the explanation, almost bounced in his seat with excitement.

  Ben waited for the buzzing in his ears to stop before he talked again. “Where did you hear all that?”

  Rod shrugged. “Around.”

  “Not good enough. I need a source.” The idea that this pisher—Callie’s name fit at the moment—tracked down her background pissed Ben off.

  Then there was the actual information. Callie screwing around with a married guy? Ben hated the thought of that. Deep down he knew her life before him wasn’t his business. But this issue touched parts of him, parts he’d rather keep buried. She knew his feelings on the subject. He’d made his position on fidelity quite clear.

  Ben’s mind raced with the possibilities. Maybe this was why she took the shot at the gun range rather than explain her days at the Bureau. Or maybe Rod was the little weasel Callie proclaimed him to be and it was all a bunch of lies. Either way, Ben had a twinge of doubt now. And he hated that.

  “I can’t really say, sir. I was told on the condition of anonymity that I not share the information with anyone. I’m only telling you because I admire you and don’t want to see your legal reputation squandered in a similar situation.”

  Ben wasn’t impressed with the show of loyalty. “You have ten seconds to tell me the truth.”

  Rod’s mouth dropped open. “But…”

  The bullying came with the robe. Ben said that reminder in his head several times as he watched Rod shift around in his chair. Rod brought this on by launching into the story. He deserved to be called out on it, no matter how sickly pale his face grew.

  “Eight, Rod.”

  “Sir, I’m not comfortable talking about this.”

  “You were perfectly fine a second ago when you were saying negative things about Callie.” Ben made a show of glancing at his watch. “Five.”

  “I promised.”

  “Four.”

  “People could get in a lot of trouble.” Rod all but pleaded now.

  The whiny begging got through to Ben. The truth crashed over him. The kid had all sorts of money and tons of contacts. His friends worked in congressional offices. His father wielded a lot of power. Ric
h with resources—a very dangerous combination.

  “You paid someone to check her background. Maybe dig around where they shouldn’t be digging.” Ben knew he got it on the first try when Rod’s skin turned from pale to green.

  “Only because I was concerned.”

  Damn, even twenty-somethings were trying to protect him. “You broke the law, Rod.”

  The kid froze to his seat. “What?”

  “If Callie was in the FBI, and I’m not confirming that fact, and you were poking around in her private employment records—”

  Rod started shaking his head. “I wouldn’t.”

  “Someone did.”

  “No one got hurt.”

  “I’m not sure the FBI would agree that’s the test.” Ben knew Mark sure wouldn’t think so. “Who else knows about this?”

  “No one. I promise.” The words tripped out of Rod’s mouth.

  “It had better stay that way, Rod. If I hear one more bit of gossip about Callie on any issue, FBI or not, I am holding you responsible. Got that?”

  “But—”

  “Do we understand each other?” Ben asked the question in a near shout and kept at it. “Well?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Callie passed great and hovered on the brink of exceptional.

  Air hiccupped in her lungs as she glanced down her bare body to the top of her thighs and Ben’s dark head between. Just then his tongue licked over her in the most delicious way that sent her ankles digging into the mattress.

  Her body continued to dampen from the inside out. The deeper he worked his fingers into her, the more her hips clenched. “Ben, now.”

  But his mouth and hands kept caressing, making her hotter…wetter.

  They had started on this sensual journey an hour earlier. After getting all worked up in his office and not being able to finish, the rest of the day passed with a dull ache. Her skin itched, and her clothes felt tight. Sitting through an afternoon of lawyer boredom nearly killed her. Looking up at Ben and knowing the power of those hands made concentration impossible. Good thing she spent most of the time on that seat daydreaming anyway. Today those mind wanderings were of the X-rated variety.

  When the last suit finally had left the courtroom, Ben suggested they leave right then, and she didn’t argue. The clock barely hit five when he grabbed up his briefcase and headed for the door. A short car ride and a great deal of fumbling with shirts and pants later, and they lay naked and entwined on her soft sheets.