by Lila Felix
We both took our respective sides of the bed. The routine was so normal, so every day. We’d curled up like this an infinite amount of times. The window to the hotel room was open. Music and laughing people could be heard in the city below us.
It’s always strange how when everything is frazzled in your life—the world just continues. It shouldn’t continue. It should stop when our lives do and take notice.
“That should be us. We should be in the streets, enjoying life together. Sometimes this ability doesn’t seem like a gift at all. Sometimes it seems like false freedom.” I whispered more to the dark than to Colby. I could feel her take a deep breath with her back against my chest.
“One day it will be. That’s all I want.”
“Tell me what you want, Querida. Tell me all of it.” Her hair moved as the motion of my whisper floated across it.
“Just go to sleep, Theo.” Her voice drifted with the last words.
~~~
I felt the slightest weight shift as she rose from the bed the next morning. The shower signaled me that she was up and ready to go. I didn’t think we should head straight to Portugal, but I was sure Colby would disagree.
Would Pema ever come for her books? Collin had to be feeding her information.
I grabbed a button down shirt and threw on the closest jeans I could find. As long as we were in Belgium, I might as well take advantage of it.
The streets were bustling with people, most of them families, dressed up, and headed— somewhere. Just as the thought of what day it was crept up, one of the voices joined a gonging bell from a nearby church. This time it felt far away and called to me from the direction of the hotel room. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned to match the voice with something—a face, a person—anything. Patrons jostled me as they passed. I’d become a rock in their flowing stream, preventing them from flowing the way they once had.
Yet, nothing in my line of sight matched the voice that called for me to help. Help—all it said was help.
The only thing that brought me out of my complete obsession with the disembodied voice was the smell of fresh croissants and baking loaves. The smell of baking bread could wake people from comas, I was sure of it. I’d once heard Rebekah say that at a family brunch.
“Do you always make everyone else divert their paths around you,” a familiar female made me chuckle.
“Actually, most of the time, I divert my path so that others don’t have to sway.”
“So why the sudden change?”
Turning around, my eyes denied the voice and body connection. It was Pema. But out of her rusty robes and pilgrim dress, she was shocking. Today, she almost mixed into the masses in jeans and a red sweater.
“I heard something. It made me stop and turn.”
Pema grabbed my elbow and stepped in close. She scrunched her nose in an almost snarl as her eyes zeroed in on mine.
“What did you hear?” A filament of recognition buzzed in my consciousness. It seemed to warn me against showing all of my cards too soon.
“Someone shouting,” I answered without actually revealing any information.
“Who was shouting?” She bobbed her head around mine, looking for evidence of my accusation.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t find them.”
She examined me further. The sunlight glinted off the top of the stubby wires on her head as she cocked it back and forth searching for something just out of reach. I blinked once, my tired eyes unable to match her stare for any longer. Another gong of a church bell made her cringe. Her back straightened and it relieved me of her being way too far into my personal space.
“I’m assuming you were going for breakfast—though that mate of yours looks as if she never eats.”
“You should talk.”
Pema was rail thin—those robes actually did her a favor in helping her look less gaunt.
“I eat. Not all of us are as blessed as you are. We can’t all make deliveries for the big software companies and have successful investments,” she sneered at me, as we again took pace with the people on the sidewalk.
That last remark was a direct jab at me—specifically, my parents.
“I see the monks taught you humility,” I jabbed back.
“Touché’.” She didn’t look impressed.
A clap of her hands changed her demeanor as we found a bakery and went inside to order. She studied me as I placed our order and gathered it all up, never offering to help or lend a hand.
Not very monk-like.
About halfway back to the hotel, I deducted that Pema was coming all the way back with me. She was probably going to take all the books before I could figure out why some of them caused the voices to come back and some quieted them.
When we got into the elevator, she pressed the button to our floor before I told her what floor we were on.
I felt like a fish in an aquarium. No matter how many rocks I hid under or treasure chests’ bubbles camouflaged me, I could be seen from all angles—anyone who wanted to look in could get a gander at the flashing male.
When we reached the room, I allowed Pema to enter first, saving Colby from blabbing some pertinent information out of turn.
I noticed Collin was sitting at a chair in the corner without the surprised look on his face that I expected. As much as he came down on Sway—he wasn’t out of my range for suspicion either.
Everyone froze in place when Colby saw Pema. She cut her eyes down to the space between Pema and me. Following her gaze, I found that Pema’s arm was looped through mine. I hadn’t even noticed she was doing that or how long it had gone on. My mind was constantly in a different place.
“Look what I found on my way to get your breakfast, Colby. Isn’t it convenient?”
Colby opened her mouth, but Pema interjected first, “It isn’t convenient at all. Your female stole books that didn’t belong to her. I can’t imagine that she thought that was the honorable road to take.”
“How strange,” Colby began. Her cheeks had grown red in the few seconds we’d been in the room. Pema didn’t know what was about to hit her. “As I recall, you said we had three days to study. There were no stipulations about location or any other parameters now that I think about it.”
Pema scoffed, “Well, the most appropriate thing to do would’ve been to leave sacred texts with their owner, regardless of the stipulations. But then again, I’ve heard that appropriateness hasn’t always been your forte. I didn’t see much of it in Tibet other than the usual lack of propriety, until you turned into a thief.”
I backed up a step out of instinct. It was one thing for me to pick on Colby about her crassness or for her to joke about it, but Pema didn’t even know Colby and yet here she was judging the hell out of my mate.
“The texts are in perfect shape in the other room. There’s no reason to resort to rudeness on either account,” that was my best effort in diffusing the situation. Colby cocked her eyebrow at me. I knew she’d be pissed for me not taking her side, but it probably was for the best to stay on the good side of the family of the Eidolon—or, I guessed, the former Eidolon.
“I’ll take them now,” Pema demanded.
“We still have a day,” Colby reminded her, pretending to check her cuticles. “Unless, you’re intending on going back on your word.”
Three times Pema opened her mouth to respond, but came out with nothing.
“Fine. I will stay with you until you are done.”
Chapter Eighteen
Colby
The Prophets are not to be counseled for advice on any matter.
I was gonna kill the shaven headed wench. I would threaten to scalp her, but apparently someone had beat me to that punch—several times over.
Other than being mostly inappropriate, there was one more thing I was very skilled at—insincerity.
I straightened my dress and conjured the fakest smile I could imagine. “Oh Pema, that would be lovely. How honored we would be to have you here with us.�
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How’s that for your precious manners?
She squinted at me and for a second I thought for sure I’d have to grapple with her.
“Finally, you’ve come to your senses.”
Didn’t she learn to be silent in Tibet? Let’s see some more of that talent.
I chanced a glance at Theo. He was barely holding in a smile. The impact of what I’d almost done slammed into me. These are the things Pema had talked about. For some reason, regardless of her attitude, I trusted her. This was not about a smart mouthed relative of the Eidolon—and it certainly wasn’t about me winning. I needed to reel myself in for him.
I’d forgotten in my self-absorption to first be his mate.
“Pema, Collin, if you wouldn’t mind, could I have a few minutes with Colby? Then we will use our last day with the texts and move on.”
I should’ve told him what happened at the Synod. Now we had to spend a day rustling through useless texts. But then again, there was still so much information missing. If Theo was supposed to help those caught in the fray—the logistics of that notion were lost on me. If those souls were lost, how was he supposed to find them?
The thought of asking Pema felt like shoving a splinter up my own nail bed.
Pema turned on him like he’d stuck her with a hot poker, “Where will you move to?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
She pressed further, “Any ideas? Where is the information leading you?”
He cleared his throat, a time buying tactic. “As I said, we don’t know, Pema. We will return the books to you. After that, we are not sure. Why do you want to know?”
She stiffened under the weight of his question and ticked her eyes to Collin’s place in the corner more than what would be deemed normal. It was, as if, she was looking for him to save her from something.
“I was just wondering. The family is eager to see how all this turns out for you. They wish the new Eidolon all the very best.”
She shifted to move around Theo, but clearly, he wasn’t done with her.
“I’ve wondered why the rest of the family doesn’t come and see me like you have,” he left the insinuation open-ended hoping she’d take the bait.
“As you can well imagine, they are still frightened of the Synod. They can’t risk being caught.”
“But you can?”
“I am braver than most.”
Theo took more than ample time to answer, “Clearly. How lucky we are to be amidst such bravery. Please, go check on your invaluable books.” He swept his hand toward the adjoining door, dismissing her and her false bravado.
He waited until she and Collin exited before addressing me. I expected Collin to be friendly with Pema like he was before, but his attitude toward her was ambiguous—he didn’t seem to care if she was here or not.
“How do they know where we are all the time?” He asked me.
“I didn’t tell Sway or Ari we were here. In fact, I didn’t even tell my own mother. She was upset with me about it. That leaves you and Collin. And I know it’s not you.”
He shook the idea from his head, “I don’t think it’s Collin. But, I did tell my parents.”
Theo was crawling into himself. He was growing more and more serious by the day. I had to do what I could to draw him out of it.
I sauntered over to him and touched the bag still clasped in his hand, “You brought me breakfast?”
That snapped him out of it. He dropped the bag and grabbed my face with a fury. Breakfast had been long forgotten as his lips crashed against mine. As soon as I got over the unexpectedness of the kiss, I matched his passion with my own. We slowly backed up until the back of my head hit the wall with a thump. His lips were rough and needy and carried a warmth I craved like air. With an animalistic aggression, he pulled my waist toward his until there was no space between us. He consumed me. No coherent thoughts could be conjured in that moment. This was no ordinary kiss—this was Theo coming back down from the heavens. This was what Pema had spoken of and if this was the way to bring him back down from the clouds, then I was happy to oblige.
He broke free once to tell me he loved me, but I had no chance to respond before he attacked me again. This time was slower, like he’d gotten the rage out of his system and could take the time now to savor us. Needing to be even closer, I locked my left leg around his hips. I thought it would fuel him on, but instead, it seemed to cool him down. He left my lips, opting to place pecks instead on my face and temple.
“We aren’t even bonded,” he huffed out, breathless.
I giggled and attempted to pull him back to me, “That never stopped you before.”
Theo phantomed more nibbles down my neck, “We aren’t teenagers fooling around in the back of my car anymore, Colby.”
“Mmmm, that was fun.”
“Marry me,” he breathed against my mouth.
He always picked the most inopportune times to talk about such things. Now was one of those times.
“Let’s make a deal. Let’s get through all of this and then talk about the future.”
“But there is no future without you.”
“Theo, I love you, but let’s focus.”
“You love me? Just like that?”
He was goading me. “Yes, just like that, now let’s go.”
Relief flooded my system as I realized that all this Pema business had stammered our conversation about the happenings at the Synod. In all honestly, I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to relive it all.
Mostly, if Regina was correct, then Theo would have to leave me to fulfill his purpose.
And I couldn’t take that.
He picked up the bag from the bakery and dragged me with him to the other room. Pema stood facing the window while Collin was sitting on the edge of the bed, face buried in his hands. We hadn’t been gone more than ten minutes, so I couldn’t fathom what had happened to make Collin look so devastated.
“What’s going on,” Theo asked.
“They’re gone,” Pema whispered. Her shoulders slumped.
Looking around the room, I realized they were right. All the books were gone. The possibilities of who and when filtered through my thoughts. I was with the Synod the day before and Theo needed the texts. Pema certainly wouldn’t lead someone to steal them after coming down on me so hard about taking them in the first place.
The only possibility left was one I didn’t want to face. From the first moment I’d met him, Collin had seemed like the one person we could trust.
“I don’t know. I was only out of the room this morning. It would have to be someone who was monitoring every single thing we did. They would have to know when I left… Wait, you don’t think…”
This time Theo responded, “We are just thinking out loud here, Collin. No one is being accused.”
Pema swiftly turned around and countered Theo, “Who else could it be?”
“Collin?” I inquired again. It was like I continued to call his name, hoping he would jump at the chance to defend himself. He lifted his head slowly, taking the chance to deliberate a decision. A lone tear came down my face and I swiped it away in an instant, not wanting to show any sign of weakness, especially in front of Sinead.
“Do you want me to leave, Eidolon?” His inquiry sounded more like asking to be granted permission to stay. I knew that unless all the evidence left nothing to chance, that Theo wouldn’t make him go.
“No, Collin. I don’t believe you had anything to do with this,” his words spoke but his voice told me he wasn’t quite sure.
“You have spies in your ranks, Eidolon,” she sneered the word. Pema was awfully pushy.
Odd didn’t even begin to describe how obtuse it was to hear Theo referred to with a title. She might as well have called him Your Highness. I hated to admit it, but it put me in my place. Regina had been right—as much as I hated it. All the time the Synod had called me in, I really had built myself up, thinking that I was something special. In my own words, I’d thought
I was the shit. But it was him. And not only was that okay with me, it was a relief not to be held up to any standard.
Suddenly, I felt two inches tall next to him.
“I am aware,” he quipped back. He didn’t even flinch at being called Eidolon anymore. Somehow, in three days’ time, he’d absorbed it and let it mesh with who he already was.
Theodore Ramsey was amazing.
It hit me, shot down through my body like electricity shoots from the sky and splits open a tree. I loved him. I’d known that for years and maybe I was always been meant to love him, even before I was born. I’d taken it all for granted—taken him for granted.
“Maybe we should take the day to rest.” I suggested. This was me saving Theo from himself and everyone else who wanted a piece of him. “Let’s go visit your parents and reconvene tomorrow. I’m sure they’re worried. They are on vacation in France now. It’s close.”
At first he shot me a quizzical look, but soon got my drift. His parents hated France. His dad said it was too frou-frou. They would never vacation in France in a million years. This was me testing the proverbial spy filled waters. He took my hand, squeezing it in reassurance, “I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard in days.”
Pema flashed out of the room before we could discuss it further.
“Collin, you are welcome to come with us.”
He looked at Theo with such reverence and awe, “I would actually love to see the country. And I think your mate-to-be would like to have you to herself. Why don’t you just let me know where you are tomorrow—if you still want me to join you on this journey.”
“Of course we do, Collin. Let’s go, Colby.”
As soon as we got into the room, we packed up our things wordlessly. Theo grabbed my hands, “Wanna flash together?”
I giggled uncontrollably at that. Theo could make something so simple sound so intimate.
“Yes.” A tear came to fruition in the corner of my eye at the thought. If we’d only had the information we did now, my father would still be alive. How many had been lost in the fray because those who had the facts hid them from the rest of us?