by Lila Felix
He raised one of his large hands to cup the side of my face and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tear that had broken free. “What is it? Is this too much?”
“No, I just wish we’d known about travelling together when my dad was around,”
“Ah, Colby, your dad would’ve loved to travel with your mom. I wish we’d known. Hell, I wish we’d known when we were kids. There was nothing I wished for more than to travel with you. We could’ve pretended to be Vikings together instead of me waiting to hear the stories from you. Let’s go. I know Mom wants to sniff me and make sure I’m not getting too skinny.”
“Ready,” I took his hold again.
“I’ve been ready all my life.”
“No, Mrs. Ramsey, please. I will burst if I eat ice cream.”
Theo chimed in, “I thought it was all mind over matter.”
“Not wanting ice cream has nothing to do with traveling, it has to do with my stomach being on the verge of bursting.”
Everyone around the table laughed at my expense. The only ammunition I had were the cookies on the plate in front of me. I reached out to get one and Theo grinned, thinking he’d won the game.
Until I chucked the cookie at his smug ass.
“Hey!” he tossed it back, hitting me directly in the mouth.
“Ouch, damn it, Theo!”
He was up and hovering over me before I could blink, “Querida, I’m sorry.” He was examining me left and right, placing first aid, in the form of kisses, all over my mouth. I laughed at his attentions to a cookie chucking accident. His eyes were so trusting, so concerned over the littlest things. He’d always been that attentive. But I loved how it continued to shock me over and over again how deeply in love I was with him.
“You two finally gave in?” His father’s voice broke us out of our world and back into reality.
Theo blinked and recoiled from our coupling, grinning like a stockbroker who’d just swindled a poor man out of his life savings. “Not you two, just her. She’s had my heart all along.”
I rolled my eyes. He was back. The guy who so gallantly vowed his devotion to me for all to know.
“Our family is back whole again. We weren’t quite complete without you, Colby.” I blushed under Theo’s father’s acceptance. But his mother didn’t seem to feel the same. She met my eyes, “I’m sorry, Colby, it’s not you. I just wish Torrent was here. He would’ve been so happy to see you two back together again.”
Theo’s father comforted his wife across the table with his hand on hers, “I’m sorry dear, I shouldn’t have said such a thing.”
“No, it’s fine. I just wish we could talk about him more. When we don’t, I feel like I’m the only one who remembers him.”
A text came through on my phone, and I excused myself from the table. Theo and his father both were now comforting Hazel and it felt wrong for me to just sit there and be their audience. It felt like intrusion.
The text was from the Synod—again. What could they possibly have to tell me that they didn’t already tell me before?
And for the first time in my life, I ignored the summons.
“Hey, you didn’t have to leave. She’s okay.”
I tucked my phone back in my pocket, “I thought maybe the three of you needed a moment.”
“We did.” His eyebrows pulsed, “Thank you. That was thoughtful.”
“You’ve got a little,” I dabbled at the side of my mouth, “shock all over your face.”
“I’m not shocked. What would I be shocked at? That you were thoughtful? Okay, maybe a little.”
I laughed, “Yeah, it’s this new thing I’m trying out. It’s called manners.”
He sat down on the couch beside me and pulled me onto his lap. “You know, I’ve heard of manners.”
“I’m pretty sure you wrote the book, Eidolon.”
One of my eyebrows cocked as I called him that title for the first time. I wanted to try it out—see how it felt and how he felt about it. In all honesty, I expected his trademark smug attitude about it. Instead, his whole demeanor changed. A despair—almost a loneliness washed over his features and drew his mouth downward.
“It was so weird being called that today. But it’s time I got used to it. If the Eidolon were anyone else and he showed up in front of me, I wouldn’t hesitate to call him by anything but that name. I didn’t ask for this. Either way, I have to learn to accept it.” He turned me to face him and tipped my chin up with his forefinger. “But you, meu amada, I only want you to call me by my name please. If everyone begins to look at me differently—I need you to look at me like you are right now.”
My fingers threaded through his hair. It needed to be cut. He’d obviously had other things on his mind the past few weeks. “How?”
“How do you look at me?”
“Yes. I don’t know. I mean, I know how I mean to look at you, but I…”
He chuckled and the motion rocked us both. I took the moment, while he did that thing where he overthought every single word, to really amend the way I looked at him. The memories of he and I flooded my mind. Theo and Colby before there was talk of Eidolon or flashing. Theo and Colby before the world and its demands got in the way.
“Tell me what that is. Tell me what you are thinking about right this second.”
“Me and you. It’s always been me and you. No matter how stubborn I am, no matter how hard I fight you. Even when I push you as far away as I can and when it’s not far enough, I cross the planet to get away from you. No matter what, it will always be me and you.”
He brought his face as close to mine as he could. Chocolate chip cookies laced his breath and what girl in her right mind doesn’t want to be kissed by a boy who tastes like chocolate. His eyes danced around my face before landing on my lips. It wasn’t his eyes I wanted on my mouth. His eyes and mouth rose simultaneously in a smile, “Took you long enough.”
And then he got smacked in the arm.
“Will you make me a promise,” He sobered.
“Of course.”
“If things get weird or too much to handle for you. Can you remember me like this?”
The air thickened in my throat. Invisible hands clutched my lungs and wrung them out until nothing was left of them or the rest of my chest. A solidly monotone ring began between my ears and blocked out everything he was saying. His mouth was moving, but nothing could be heard but the alarm. No, this couldn’t happen. This wasn’t about me.
Like a vacuum, the selfishness was sucked away and replaced with my responsibility to Theo, once again. Maybe one day I wouldn’t have to remember to not be selfish.
Was that too much to ask of myself?
“Colby, I’m sorry.” Those were the first words I heard after crawling out of myself.
“No,” I pulled him forward, gripping the collar of his shirt like it was the last raft in a raging ocean, “No matter what. No matter how hard it gets. This time it’s going to be me who stands firm. This time, unless you want me gone, then you are stuck with me forever.”
Tears welled in his eyes and I realized that I’d never seen Theo cry, even after his brother disappeared.
“Sounds like bonding rights to me,” a baritone voiced entered our cocoon, uninvited.
“Is that what that was,” Theo questioned me in jest, attempting to tickle my sides to drive his point in. But there was no jest in my intentions.
“I think that’s what it was,” I poured every ounce of intensity I owned into those words. If he didn’t believe me, no blame would be placed.
“If you speak those words, you shouldn’t think—you should know.”
“Then I know.”
Hazel entered the room next, and I realized how much I missed our privacy. Bonding ceremonies weren’t like human engagements. Males didn’t save up for extravagant rings and plan grandiose promenades of affection. They happened naturally and freely. And it made them more beautiful and honest than the most detailed, planned out proposal. Males didn’t have t
o ask for the father’s permission or jump through hoops. It was simply accepted that when a female chose her mate—then that was the end of it. Formal vows were often exchanged later on, but that one intimate moment could never quite be recaptured.
A female’s choice in a mate was never questioned.
And once their choice was made—it was solidified for life.
“There should be no formal vows exchanged without Rebekah and Sable present. Don’t make me go up against the Prophetess and be forced to explain why we allowed this. I’ve seen that woman in action. She is like a vicious little dragon.”
Hazel’s honesty broke through the seriousness and we all laughed in comedy and joy.
“We will go tomorrow and speak to her before we return to Collin and whoever else is waiting for us.”
“That’s an excellent plan and congratulations.” His parents mentioned before taking their exit.
Chapter Nineteen
Theo
Bonding ceremonies should be overseen by the Synod.
Holding Colby like that, in the home of my parents, listening to her say words I thought I’d only hear through dire circumstances—I fell more in love with her.
There was something so pure and raw about her like this. It pained me to think that being like this was uncomfortable. She still struggled with emotional displays. But a little discomfort in a relationship isn’t always a bad thing—especially for Colby. The girl needed to be brought down a few levels.
“I think you should go to bed,” I said as I squeezed her waist.
“Why? Come on, I just confessed my undying love. It was a breakthrough. Let’s flash to the Great Wall and let me shout it out!”
Leave it to Colby to have an emotional breakthrough in the middle of my existential crisis.
“Let’s wait until we see your grandmother and find out whatever in the hell I am supposed to do before we begin the shouting, please.”
She sighed, “I guess you’re right. Always playing it safe. Tomorrow, you will face the dragon lady, Rebekah. And we have to tell my mom. Okay?”
“Of course. Your grandmother loves me. In this relationship, she’ll probably be more concerned about you bringing me down.”
She feigned insult and then shrugged one shoulder, “Actually, you’re right. Goodnight, Theo.”
“Goodnight, Colby.”
The next morning, my parents were all smiles. Colby had become a jittery mess like I’d never seen her before. In fact, I’d never seen her nervous about anything before. She always carried a charismatic version of pompousness that couldn’t be rivaled.
She paced the kitchen as I tried, in vain, to finish breakfast. I was taking my time on purpose, just using this opportunity to make her wig out a little bit more than she already was. It was ridiculous. Every time she passed a different surface she would tap on it twice—once for her nervousness and once for her frustration with me for taking so long.
She groaned so loudly when I asked my mom for more orange juice that I figured I’d pushed her to the limit.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
“Well, I’m glad the Synod wasn’t waiting, you’d be Resin ground meat.”
“Let’s go. You’re extra snarky today. Rebekah will get a kick out of that.”
We said our goodbyes to my parents and flashed to Rebekah’s kitchen. Rebekah didn’t have a phone, that being one of the modern day conveniences that she openly shunned, so there was no way of announcing our visit.
We flashed directly into her kitchen. She’d once told Colby not to flash into her living room because she often had canasta games in there with her friends and she didn’t want to frighten them. Colby agreed, not wanting to be the thing that put an old woman over the cliff.
Colby’s wake faded quickly, but I could still see that along the edges of it was a tinge red. Colby’s wake was never red.
Something was very wrong.
Several sensations hit me at once. The first was the temperature of the place. It was wintertime in Louisiana and one of the reasons Rebekah agreed to move there after she was dismissed, was the jungle-like heat. She often said when she got too cold that her joints rebelled.
It was cold as ice in the house.
Colby was stiller than a marble statue and she stared at something behind me. I turned, expecting to find a robber or something worse. Instead, I found she was staring at a half-eaten peach, perched alongside a paring knife—it had already began to spoil.
The thing about Rebekah was she was so put together—nothing was ever out of place.
Colby screaming Rebekah’s name broke the silence. We didn’t bother to walk, we flashed throughout the house. Every room was checked in seconds except the bathroom. When we were kids we’d called it the blood bathroom. Everything in the room, from the tiles on the floor, to the claw foot bathtub and even the toilet were bright, lure Snow White in three flat seconds, bright red.
We stood in front of the door. The door was shut. Colby’s hand shook so much when she tried to turn the knob that I had to help her with it. At first glance, there was nothing wrong. Everything was in place, just like Rebekah liked it. The stark white towels that so contrasted the red were all in order, the floors were waxed to a gleam—everything but the shower curtain.
The atmosphere in that tiny room palpitated with sin. A wickedness and sorrow thickened the oxygen and my throat closed a bit, wanting to keep the wretched air out. My heart pounded, expecting the worst.
Colby took one step toward the bathtub and before I could stop her, she jerked it open, nearly ripping it from its keeper.
And inside was Colby’s grandmother.
The water that surrounded Rebekah matched the color of the red she adored so much. Her head hung back over the opposite side of the bathtub revealing a large gape in her neck. Her impeccable pearls floated in the red still water.
Someone had slit her throat wide open.
The edges of my vision clouded and my heartbeat drummed out the sound of Colby’s soul wrenching screams.
The Prophetess, the messenger, born to give our species divine direction and knowledge. It would take someone beyond reprieve, beyond forgiveness to pull off a crime so mutinous. It was a sign to me—a sign sure to hurt Colby—which was the same as slitting my throat.
There was no time for planning what to do next, the only thing left to do was catch Colby before her head hit the bathroom floor. Because as soon as she stopped wailing at the sight of her grandmother, her knees buckled, as she apparently realized the truth of the situation. I didn’t think. I didn’t consider my options or weigh what was best for anyone in the situation but her. Grabbing her up, I pulled her against my chest and got out of there.
The first place I thought of was her mom’s house. She’d want to go there. It felt like the situation was steering me—like I had no control over my movements or decisions. Straight into her bedroom I travelled—except in the irrationality of my motions, I landed right next to her dresser, and everything on top of it turned over in my haste. I set Colby down on her bed. Nothing was ever too much for Colby to handle—nothing.
Her passing out scared the hell out of me.
“What in the hell is going on in here, Colby?” Sable barreled into the room, guns blazing, until she saw Colby laying on the bed and me, standing there, looking like an idiot—or a coward, I didn’t know which.
“Rebekah,” was the only thing I could mutter and it killed me how pathetic I sounded.
With no hesitation, Sable was gone, leaving a scarlet and gray, with grainy notes, wake. Seconds later, she came back and for the next few minutes she and I stood in a stale silence. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes were already ringed with red.
“I can’t believe it.” Colby’s mother murmured.
“It’s my fault,” Colby’s body wracked with sobs as she made the hollow confession.
We both rushed to her side, but she jolted upright, refusing to accept the comfort we offered. She wrestled her phone out of
the pocket of her dress and shoved it into her mom’s face. “See? They summoned me yesterday and I ignored it. They told me. They told me that if I didn’t comply that they would…”
“What else, Colby? What else did they say to you? Why couldn’t you just have gone when they summoned you?”
By the end of Sable’s questionnaire, her hands were clamped down on Colby’s arms as if she could shake the answers to her investigations from Colby’s form. I crossed the room, stalking around the bed and put myself between them. I’d never seen Sable get even the tiniest bit angry at Colby. Even when she was in trouble, her motherly instincts were closer to friendly than maternal.
Death will turn any sane person to the other side.
I spoke to her as calmly as I could, “Sable, you know we can’t handle it like any other human would. They’re going to ask you about funerals and what your plans are. Call my parents if you need help. My Dad is good with the humans.”
Having a death in the Lucent ranks was a fickle business. Usually, we had the bodies taken to Portugal where we brought them to the original land that was once owned by Xoana’s father. The female Lucents are all buried there.
“You’re right, Theo. I just—I never thought. I can’t think. I don’t know how to.” She spoke in choppy nonsense.
“I know. We will meet you in Portugal. If I may have the honor, I will flash with Rebekah myself.”
“Flash with her?”
“I guarantee you, it’s perfectly safe. I swear I won’t let her go. This way, we can have the funeral as soon as you need to. I know Rebekah wouldn’t want you fussing over it too long. She would reach down from Paraíso and swat you on the back of the head, for sure.”
“Okay, yes, okay.”
And in a fluster, Sable flashed to take care of Rebekah’s parting memorial.
Visibly shaken, Colby hadn’t moved from her spot on the bed. I didn’t know about other people and the relationships they maintained with their grandparents. My grandparents were long gone by the time I was born. I did know that Colby worshipped the ground Rebekah walked on. In terms of people she revered and clamored to model herself after, Rebekah was second only to Xoana herself.