I gulped beer noisily. Thurge got bored of my silence and went back to his wolfish appreciation of our environment. I nudged into my drink and wondered again, why forgetting that black girl was such a tough proposition.
All my life, I’d been taught that white folk should avoid blacks whenever possible. Pop had sent me to public school, but he’d continued the education in evenings with books that set out to fix the deficiencies and misinformation they fed me. Calix had nodded vigorously through those after-school lessons but I’d mostly just sat still for ‘em. My brother had started being a firebrand for white nationalism even as a teenager, but I had only voiced my views when I was asked to.
The way I saw it, whites had enslaved blacks and now the insane crime rates that counted my mom as a victim was that boomerang snapping back in our faces. The two sides were better off apart – that part I had bought into. It was the aim that unified the Storm’s Soldiers and Pop’s civilian organization, even if their words took a more aggressive tone.
But now, I couldn’t help but notice that I’d danced with the so-called devil and returned intact and with a taste for more. That waitress was no criminal – hell, if I shut my eyes, I wouldn’t even know she was black.
Maybe it would take more than one encounter to make our incompatibilities stark.
Or maybe, that was just me working my way to the most convenient conclusion.
I’d waged this conflict with myself the whole weekend. My mind lay muddied in waters so deep, it took a while to notice someone tapping on my shoulders.
“Excuse me?”
I turned to see a dark-haired white girl plucking at me. She had a pretty face with eyes just bluer than my own. Her mouth spread in a tender smile.
“What’s up?” I said.
“My friends and I were just wondering if you boys would like to come over and teach us to play pool.”
She pointed out a small huddle of pretty girls looking bashful at us.
I took a patient sip. “What makes you sure we know how to play?”
“Well, we just figured you guys know how to handle your sticks.”
Her eyes couldn’t meet mine, and she swayed, but damned if it wasn’t a bold line.
“We sure do, honey,” Thurge said, swiveling around on his stool. “What’s your name?”
“Lily.”
“Lily, I’m Thurgood, and my friend here is-“
“Doing fine as is.”
Thurge made a pained look at me. I just stayed hunched over. The girls were hot, I could see that, but none of them were getting even a twitch out of my nethers.
“Lily,” I said. “Thurge is more than enough to handle you and your friends. You take good care of him and I promise, he’ll treat you right.”
I nudged Thurge off his stool. Lily bit her lip and glanced between me and him. Thurge always did lose out in such competitions, but it didn’t matter tonight. I wasn’t in the game. She nodded and hooked him towards their table. Thurge kept glancing back like an abandoned puppy, but he went with them and I just smiled his way until he sat encased in their warm bosom.
The guy bartending came over and cleared out my empty glasses. I asked for another and he shot me a look. He must have made out my ink. Most white folk still didn’t trust that we stood for them, and this guy probably was afraid he’d be stuck with a rampaging white supremacist if he fed me anything else. I doubted he’d be comforted even if I explained the differences between a nationalist and a supremacist. Instead, I peeled out a couple twenties and pointed at the top shelf bourbon. His worry gave way to dollar signs.
People always sold out. That’s another lesson history had taught me. You take the most fervent believer in a cause and there’s always some price that’d get him to consider taking up a new one. Was this girl doing that for me? Were those full ripe breasts and that thick cushion of rear end enough to get me to dilute everything I stood for?
Yeah, that image did nothing to calm me down. The booze haze made me let go, and I thought of every inch of her that I had sunk against. There hadn’t been a single hard edge on her – just all softness and pleasure. My jeans grew tight just at the vague memory.
Thurge roared with laughter off and I glanced at him. He had his arms sidled up around Lily at the pool table. One palm helped her adjust the cue, the other sat planted firmly around her hip. Her friends looked on with jealousy. One met my eyes, and I sank back into my glass.
Lust was lust. It was just the timing that made this all a bigger deal than it should be. My mom’s anniversary.
Would she be ok with you and this girl?
Dolores Black’s death had set a course for my life without me even meeting her. Even under Pop’s lectures, I had always wondered what she would make of the path we three had chosen.
Would Mom have gotten the same message from her death that Pop and Calix had? Not all our relatives saw eye to eye with him anymore. They were too lost, he’d offered as explanation. But surely a wife would share her husband’s firm beliefs.
Wouldn’t she?
I’d never been able to land at a firm yes.
A girl screeched, and I snapped to the sound to see Thurge suffocating the voice from Lily’s mouth with his tongue. The two wound together tighter and tighter, but all it reminded me of were the coils of that fresh white blanket as me and that black girl writhed tighter and tighter together.
Fuck it. No man had a right to judge my desires. Not even Pop or Calix.
I knew exactly what kind of girl would make me happy tonight.
I paid my tab, threw a few words into Thurge’s ear and stepped out into the night to go find her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Meagan
I’d been on duty a couple hours when a motorcycle engine thrummed up to the Volcano. My heart leapt to my throat as it always did now, and I had to tell it to shush. We’d gone through this a half dozen times already just tonight.
Still, when the door jingled open, I peeked over from the table I was serving.
It was him.
Kiara was working up front, but he brushed right passed her and homed in on me with those eyes. I remembered them as they had been, catching dim rays of moonlight as his body bore down on me. Just watching him sidle my way with all that strength had me warming up inside. He came right up and checked me out bottom-to-top. By the end, he had on a crooked little smile that just about stopped my heart.
“Hey,” was all he said.
“Uh, hello sir,” I responded, mindful of the customers seated next to me. “Would you like a table?”
“Only if you’re on it.”
My voice left my lungs. I heard jaws drop at the table.
“What do you say?” he went on. The smirk had vanished – he was dead serious.
“I’m working,” I said.
“Go tell your boss you’re too tired to walk. It’ll be true soon enough.”
Good lord. This guy had no filter. And why should he – I was as embarrassed by his words as by how damn dizzy they made me feel.
I edged away from the table. “That’s not how it works,” I whispered harshly. “I’m on the schedule. I can’t call in sick when I’m already here.”
He leveled that wind-worn, handsome face at me without saying anything. Just when I felt I might break under the weight of that look, he pulled out a roll of bills. “How bout I just pay him off then?”
“Pay him of to let me go early?”
“Yeah.”
“You want to pay him…to have sex with me.”
The mask of calm cracked a little, but he recovered with an unbelieving headshake. “That would make you some sort of hooker, wouldn’t it?”
“It kinda would, yeah.”
I didn’t bother telling him I didn’t mind the idea one bit – just the notion of letting him free to do to me as he wished. The little lull broke the spell he had cast over me though and made me wonder why it didn’t matter. Was I just a horny little girl ready to cling onto any hunk who winked my way
now?
“What makes you so sure I want to hang out with you again?” I said.
“I don’t know about hanging out, but your body is telling me you want to fuck.”
More gasps came from tables throughout the whole damn bar. I shoved us further away from the customers, even then hating myself for the way tugging his shirt sent shocks up my arm. I backed up against a wall.
“Listen,” I said, steadying my breath. “We had a good time, but we’re not a thing now.”
“No, we ain’t,” he agreed. “But there’s not much difference between one night and two.”
Junk food twice in three days. Was that ok? I didn’t have any wisdom with such things, but every inch of my body was crying out to find reason to agree with him.
“I don’t even know your name,” I said.
He propped up over me, his breath rustling my neck. “It’s Vaughn.”
“Oh,” I practically whimpered. “I’m Meagan.”
“It’s a pleasure to see you Meagan.”
He smelled of whiskey, but his eyes were sharp and intent, and the way they already seemed to be seeing me naked had me shiver. Past him, I saw several tables eyeing us. I saw Marissa, holding a tray at our side watching me as intently as Vaughn.
Would I get in any more trouble with Brady for taking off after all this?
“Alright, fine,” I said. “I give up. Let me go talk to my manager.”
But Vaughn shook his head and nuzzled into my ear. “Let’s just go. I don’t want to wait.”
I was in half a mind to shove those pants down and let him take me right up against this wall, but the last traces of sanity I had reminded me I was doing enough damage already.
“I don’t want to wait either.” I ran a finger between the spread of that muscular chest, then ducked out of his embrace. “But I’ll still need a job when I’m done with you.”
“Done with me?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
His brow popped in surprised, but he recovered. “I guess so. But hurry it up. Or I might not be here.”
“You will,” I said, feeling a new confidence. I could almost hear him harden like wood behind me.
Brady would be in the office. I didn’t quite have an excuse in mind, so illness would have to do. I knew the girls working tonight wouldn’t rat me out. Business was light and it was a one-time thing anyway.
That’s what you said last time, I reminded myself.
Another voice of conscience hit me as I rounded the bar.
“That’s the same guy, isn’t it?” Jeannie asked from behind the booth.
“Yeah, and I don’t want to hear it. I already know everything you’re gonna say.”
“Well then, at least tell it to yourself,” she said. “He’s got you cutting out early now?”
I squared off against her. “It’s fine. You’re not going to tattle right?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not about that. I’m just worried for you.”
“Don’t be. I’m a big girl.”
She went back to her glasses and I brushed through the doors to the kitchen and made my way to the manager’s office. Brady was reclined in his computer seat in business casual, smiling dumbly at something on-screen, but he clambered upright and tapped it off as I walked in.
“Hey Meagan, how you doing?” he said, adjusting his frames and brushing back his shaggy blonde hair.
“Not great, actually.” I rubbed at my stomach. “I’m feeling pretty rough.”
I truly was still feeling something, but it was just a gnawing ache to be occupied by Vaughn.
“Oh yeah?” He examined my stomach. “What’s the matter?”
“Uh…” I made myself look embarrassed.
“Oh. OH.” He couldn’t look away fast enough. “Ok, well. Can’t you work through it? You did ask to be on the schedule.”
“I know. It’s pretty calm out there though and Marissa offered to cover.”
“Well, alright then. Just don’t make it a habit. Feel better.”
“Thanks, Brady.” I limped back out through the kitchen.
Vaughn leaned in place where I’d left him.
“Guess you didn’t leave,” I teased as I came over.
“I couldn’t after watching how your fine ass bounced as you walked away.”
“Well, I hope you make it bounce even harder tonight.” I took him by the arm. “Should we go?”
“Fuck, yes.”
We marched out and down to the gravel parking lot. Vaughn tugged me toward his pitch black Harley.
“It’s still safe here,” I said.
“I don’t want to waste any time,” he said. “Plus it’ll get you nice and loose for me.”
He got on and started to reach back and explain, but I’d already hopped astride and started to lace my arms around his firm torso.
“You ridden before,” he said.
“You’re not my first,” I said. “Sorry to disappoint you.”
His dark chuckle rumbled through me. “You’ve done a lot of things to me, girl, but disappoint ain’t one of them.”
The engines kicked on like a growling thunder. Any tension left fell loose as we tore out onto the road and rumbled the short distance to my house. I got off feeling as light as a paper doll.
Vaughn’s hands shoved down the back pockets of my jeans. Groping at my flesh, he marched me forward like a horny marionette. My legs seemed to part extra with each step.
The lights were on at the door. Tara must be in. Vaughn nuzzled roughly at the back of my neck, and I contained the moan that erupted at my lips.
“We have to be quiet tonight,” I whispered.
“I can be quiet,” he said. “Not much chance for you though.”
He nipped at my skin and I yelped with pleasure. Sweet Jesus, this boy was going to get me in so much trouble.
I creaked open the door and heard the TV tinny down the hallway. With one hand over Vaughn’s mouth, I eased us upstairs and into my room where I shut and locked the door. Vaughn’s eyes prowled across my bed. My striped bedsheets lay crumpled and undone and my laundry hamper sat in the middle a pile of clothes. His eyes stuck to the table with my school books for an extra-long time.
My vision remained squarely on his body before me. The back of his jacket held a skull grinning toothily. I resented the fact it hid his body, so I slid my arms up over his broad shoulders and attempted to tug off his jacket. He helped me drop it to the ground, then spun and scooped me up with one arm. A gasp tried escaping my lips but he already had my back was against the wall, and his mouth sat crushed against mine.
I hummed with pleasure feeling his chiseled chest pushed up against me, binding me to him. His tongue dove into my mouth and the hunger just poured off him. Of course I would want this again. How could one time ever be enough? I had missed him, but I hadn’t felt that addiction. It came to me now that I could taste all the fine edges to his hardness in this second serving.
In the mist of passion, I faintly realized he must feel the same about my body too.
He wrapped my legs around him tight and started undoing my jeans. With insistent tugs, he jerked them down my legs along with my panties. They fabric only got to my thighs, but it left enough room for me to feel how wet I’d already become. His finger ran slick into me and made me sing.
“You’re real ripe, ain’t you?” he growled in my ear.
“Oh god, yes.” His digits throbbed inside me
“You like it rough.”
“I like you rough.”
He hardened around me and edged his fingers in deeper. My head burst with visions and I nearly cried out. Tara was going be hearing me tonight, but I didn’t give a damn anymore. God, I’d forgotten how good even his touch was, rough and thick and clever. His fingers ran in to the palm and curled up and I nearly burst right there. My long nails raked across his back as he squelched in and out. I made soft squealing sounds that got higher and made his breath come harsher and harsher.
“Fu
ck me,” I released at the intense wave of pleasure. I clambered higher over his grip and said it again into his ear. “Fuck me!”
He spun around and threw me on the bed. My head swum and then he was already over me, already nude past the waist. I wanted him whole this time though, not just fast. I tugged his T-shirt off his head. A mosaic of symbols glistened down at me, but then he was returning the favor, tugging my Volcano shirt off and unclasping my white bra. He sucked noisily at my breast, teasing my tit with his tongue while he held it firm with hard lips. I heaved at the current of pleasure, feeling my body climb to new heights of sensation, feeling every bit of me come alive and hungry for attention. I needed to be consumed. I tried to draw him deeper into me, but clawing at his bare head left me with nothing but a burn from his stubble. The attempt let me catch sight of his gorgeous white face drinking up my dark body, though and my pleasure doubled. I squirmed with agony under his mouth.
He kissed his way down my body and soon enough he was lapping me where his fingers had left off. I clapped my hands over my mouth as his thirst beat down at my center. His hand joined back in, stroking from the inside as his muscular jaw worked me outside. I dared peek down and saw his eyes shut in lust, guzzling my body up as if there were nothing else he’d rather do.
The wall of pleasure broke. I couldn’t bear it. I heard myself squeal out my fingers as ecstasy came crashing over me. I bucked and ground against the bed, but he held me down and kept working through it, bringing the rolling waves to larger heights. I finally finished writhing and he was over me, grinning. His face gleamed with my wetness.
“Nothing better than fresh juice,” he said. I tugged him in for a kiss and his lips were surprisingly soft. His hand curved under my head and tugged me into him and the other stroked at my cheek. We lay there enveloping each other for a while. Then he shifted and I felt his lust hard and thick at my entrance.
“Condom,” I whispered.
He slid his instrument across my stomach and I felt the latex. When had he put it on? What kind of wizard was I dealing with?
I didn’t have much time to ponder. He grabbed my hips and eased in.
I sighed. He’d let out most of my pressure with his mouth, and all that remained for this was relief. It was the thing I wanted the most - for this ache to be filled whole. But really what I wanted was him. He kneeled before me and tugged into me again and again with rolling sinewy motions. I watched the dark stenciling on his chest crinkle and shift with each pulse, seeing the motion coming even before he plunged into me.
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