Vaughn’s thrusts stoked me bit by bit. My body flushed with heat and our skin started to glisten. He ballooned thicker inside me and I started to moan here and there until he was pounding me so fast, my voice poured out unbroken. His hardness started to twitch inside me and he flung himself onto my body. We kissed and held ourselves together as his hard wet body slipped whole up and down mine.
The total and relentless gratification made me start whimpering into his mouth. He wound his tongue into me, pinned my arms to the side and fucked me the last few brutal thrusts until I cracked. In unseen madness, I lashed and clawed him until he broke with me. We came against each other, our mouths deeply enmeshed, tasting each other’s victory.
Finally, he was still. I stroked his damp cheeks and held him to me. He peeked up with those blue eyes and gave me a look that was softer than any I’d seen before. I thought he might be just tired, but he smiled broadly.
“That was worth it,” he said.
“Yeah it was.”
He smiled and pecked me on the lips. As we rested, I considered how boring this night should have gone. Taking it off for this, well thank God I had. After all, I knew we were far from done.
But then, I realized: Vaughn hadn’t been asking me. He had been telling.
So what exactly had this night cost him?
CHAPTER EIGHT
Vaughn
The sky was gunmetal grey when my eyes popped open. The thin light filled the room like a haze. I groaned and checked my cell. Not too late, but the boys had left a couple texts. I sat up nude as the day as I was born and looked for my clothes.
My search efforts died the moment it landed on Meagan. She dozed on her side, facing away. The warm dark center of her thrust out at me, plump and inviting. I’d been in there plenty the last night, and yet the sight of her soft and ready scattered any other idea but returning myself to her dark folds.
Her body swelled and sank under gentle breaths, each fanning the fire in me. I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back much longer. Now was the only chance I had to walk away. And I should. This was already such a god damn mess. I couldn’t even blame booze this time. I’d been itching for this since that first night.
Get up, Vaughn. Stand the fuck up.
She took an extra-long breath then, and it came out of her like a sigh. In a flash, my mind played a record of all the other sweet sounds that I’d made pour out of her last night. It hadn’t struck me the first night, but I had expected her to be wild, for our fucking to be primal in a way. Meagan was the opposite of that, all sweet and sensual, soft and sumptuous. She worshipped my body and I loved every damn second of her prayer. I’d been right the first night – she really was a good girl. A proper one. Nothing like the type that usually went for me. It was like she couldn’t see what my jacket advertised – like she couldn’t see how wrong we were together.
She sighed again and rolled over my way. I felt my own lips part at the sight of that luscious plump chest. One glance at her face made me forget all that though. Her eyelids trembled and her brow sat all scrunched up – the girl was on the verge of tears.
Before I even knew what was up, my hand had settled on her shoulder. Her eyes popped opne and she looked up dark and suspicious.
“Bad dream?” I asked.
The dark mask faded and she smiled like the dawn. “Not anymore.”
“You want to share?”
“The dream? Na, it’s nothing you want to know.” She stretched her body noisily. “But there’s other parts of me I wouldn’t mind offering you.”
She shot me an wicked smile that throttled my breath.
I sure as hell wasn’t leaving now.
I sank onto her, watching the advancing line where our two different skins met. My lips found hers and ground her face back into the pillow. Somehow this wasn’t satisfactory, so I cupped the back of her head and tugged her deeper into me. She seized my face too, and for some time, I just lay atop her, kissing, washing the night away from her mouth and filling her with the first of my juices.
Her body warmed up right quick under mine – a vast furnace burning at her core. I released her face and slid a hand down. She lay open and wet and waiting. I found myself hard as steel and nestled my piece into her. That sweet sigh escaped her lips as I occupied her once more.
Her mouth rolled into my ear and I fucked her slowly, hearing the soft echoes my entrance and departure left in her voice. Her heat consumed my will – the deeper I went the firmer I felt in her embrace. How could I have chosen to leave with this on the table? This hot, slick perfection.
Vocals joined her breath as I pumped faster and faster. I gripped her slick dark hair just to see how she’d react, and the yelp I got hardened me even more. She moaned low and soft, like she were trying to hide her pleasure, but got that just got me going rougher. I didn’t want her to hide anything. She should sing out to the clouds at what I was doing to her, at what the sight of her was doing to me. I nipped at her neck and tasted her voice rumbling out through the chocolate flesh. She keened above me, and then she broke.
Her nails dug creekbeds in my skin and under the exquisite agony, I came for her. I cracked and bucked and broke and she hugged me tight like I was her ride. I sank into her and made a wheezing noise at how spent I was. It was no joke.
She laughed and shoved me off her. I landed in a heap and she turned into me, smiling. The smile faded though, and her nose scrunched up.
“We do not smell great.”
“We smell like us, darling,” I panted.
“Then I want to smell like someone a bit more glamorous.”
Didn’t know what the hell she was on about. She smelled delicious. “If that’s what you want,” I said. “You’re ok by me.”
“Awww. ‘You’re ok’ is really the thing a girl wants to hear from the guy who’s been fucking her all night.”
“It’s true,” I murmured. I should leave now, but I couldn’t. My eyes were shut, and her voice poured over me like a warm blanket.
“Yeah, alright tough guy. You get your rest. I’m gonna go get presentable.”
She stroked my cheek. Something about the grace of that gentle touch even after there was any reason for it, knocked all worry from my brain. I drifted off.
I came to from a tap on my shoulder. Meagan stood over me smelling like spring. The cat nap had refreshed me, but the sight of her brought me to life. Her chocolate skin twinkled fresh and she had on a bright orange and white striped sweater that looked downright cozy. A dark skirt hid all that I had enjoyed over the evening.
“I got classes in a bit,” she said. “You wanna shower before you leave?”
I chuckled. It might have been the most polite way I’d ever been kicked out of a bed. “You don’t want me waiting here for you?”
It was a joke, but she looked thoughtful. “You’ve got nothing else to do?”
No, there was a lot to do. Even more – I realized – if I added in devising an alternative history for last night. It would help matters if Thurge couldn’t sniff the lie off my face.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need that shower.”
She handed me a towel and dropped me off at the bathroom down the hall. I slapped water across my face, and watched it drip down the wall of ink on my chest. Thank god I hadn’t gotten any symbols that were too obvious. Some guys had swastikas pinwheeling on their neck. That wasn’t going to get you close enough to get any converts. My stuff was all subtle and symbolic – everything in acronym and numerical form. Meagan hadn’t made out any of it.
But that might be only cause of the darkness. Who knew what would happen next time?
Next time…
I clapped my hand over my face. Shit, was this a mess.
I stood under hot water for a while and then dried down and went back to her room to dress up. As I clomped downstairs, music soared back up at me. It was old instrumental stuff, a softer version of a classic that played the backdrop for some of the music at rallies. As I rolled around the
banister, it became clear that this wasn’t the radio.
Meagan sat in a room just off the foyer, facing a giant-ass piano. Her back was to me, but her hands dashed in and out from behind her, crushing down white keys or tapping at the small black ones. The room trembled under her touch. I moved in and leaned against the wall, feeling her tiny hands make me rumble in a whole different way.
Chords built up and dropped and then swelled again. She hunched in intense, missing a few notes sure, but playing so hard it didn’t even matter. This was no soft song at all, that was just the buildup. Finally, her hands crashed down one, two, three times. She stopped and sat panting in the silence.
“Damn, you’re good,” I said. “I didn’t know you could play.”
She looked over her shoulder with a strange look. “You didn’t even know my name till last night.”
Girl had a point. “Where’d you learn to play like that?”
“Right in this room.”
“You practice here?”
“Yeah, you just saw one of my sessions.”
“What about at school?”
“No, this isn’t what I study.”
“What then?”
She slung her feet over the bench and faced me. Her eyes fixed on my own, like she were peering into my intentions.
“Does it matter?” she asked.
“Maybe not.” I shrugged it off, but it made me uneasy. It felt an awful lot like a rejection, which I’d never gotten after two nights in the sack. Hell, it was rare enough that I ever wanted more than that.
“I think what matters,” she said, “is that I’m available most nights.”
The shadows crowding my brain vanished like a switch had been flipped. “Now that,” I said. “Is very good to know.”
“I take it that means you want to do this again?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” she beamed. “I do too.”
I didn’t even have to think. There was no protest I could offer against the strength of that smile. I couldn’t stop this thing from running its course anymore. I’d just have to let myself go through this phase and get it out of my system once and for all.
Meagan popped off the bench. She tugged a backpack up from a corner.
“Where’s this class?” I asked. “Do you need a ride?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Not on top of that beast. I’m still new – I don’t want to give people the wrong first impression.”
“What impression might that be, darlin’?” I asked sinking over her.
She didn’t cower an inch. “That I’m some outlaw biker chick.”
“So you don’t want people seeing your fuckbuddy?”
“Not if I can help it.”
This was rich. She was ashamed to be seen with me. Fuck, if only I had someone to share this irony with.
We listed towards the front door. Another set of footsteps clipped down the side hall. I looked over and saw a tall black woman scowling her way towards me.
“Well, who’ve we got here?” she asked, stopped in front of me. She had on thick heels that made her rise almost to my height. She sure had no issue looking me in the eyes. “Meagan, why you trying to sneak out your boy without introducing him?”
“I wasn’t trying to sneak him out. He’s not my boy either.”
“Well, alright, your toy then. You got a name?”
Her words had spit out like bullets, and it took a second to see she was addressing me. “Vaughn.”
She glazed me with an icy look that crept down to my jacket. Her gaze didn’t widen with shock, but it didn’t settle down either. Her puffy round crown of hair trembled when she looked up.
To my great relief, no part of me found anything to like in her scrunched up features. No switch had been flipped inside me to make me into all black women. Meagan was something special.
On second thought, that didn’t make the situation any better.
“Well, nice meeting you Vaughn,” she said. She shot Meagan another knife of a look, then slammed out the door ahead of us.
“Sorry about that,” Meagan said, lacing her arm through mine. I hadn’t been unduly upset but, that light touch eased me completely.
“I can handle some shit, don’t worry. She’s not your sister, right?”
“No, no, no. She’s just a roommate.” Her smile cracked. “I have a brother, though.”
“I see. Well, I’ll add that to my folder of knowledge about you.”
“Great…”
I opened the door for her. We marched out into the dim October sky. She turned the other way on the sidewalk. This was it for now.
“I would like one more thing from you,” I said.
“What’s that?” She turned back.
“Your damn number.”
She slapped her forehead and came marching back. “Yeah, you do kind of need that don’t you?”
“I don’t need it. Just thought you might appreciate me not marching into that bar and taking you against a wall every time I want to see you.”
Her sharp little laugh blew out into the trees. “That is actually surprisingly thoughtful of you.”
“Is it?”
“Is what?”
“Is my thoughtfulness surprising?”
She squirmed a bit and I liked that. “Isn’t that a biker credo? My way or the highway?”
“Careful, girl. You don’t know much about me either.”
Her brow bunched up, and she stared at me a while. It wasn’t quite the impact I wanted, but I liked it. It made me feel like I was more than what she could see.
“Fair enough,” she said.
She pulled out her phone and searched for her number. She was almost nestled into me, head bowed tapping at her screen. In the chill air, her heat was like a campfire, easy and warm. I had to still the urge to bend down into her, to sink my head into that dark gloss of hair.
“Ok, here it is.”
I pulled out my burner phone, clicked away from the texts and input her digits. Once she had me too, we pocketed them.
“Well alright then,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you.”
“You will.”
It might have been the morning air, but she shivered a little. It took everything to not wrap myself around her one last time.
No, not one last time. I’d be seeing her again as soon as I could.
I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.
CHAPTER NINE
Meagan
All I wanted was to get home at a decent hour, so I could have an early morning free to study for my midterms. Oh I’d had plenty of fun the past days, but much as it had reminded me of the good things that came from working at a bar, that wasn’t a life plan.
Unfortunately, Marissa and Kiara just would not let me be after I let slip that I’d been with Vaughn again.
“Vaughn,” Kiara said as we were all clustered around the bar. She said it again like she were casting a spell. “Vaughn.”
“I love those short hard names,” Teresa said. “‘Fuck me Vaughn.’ It’s so easy to scream out.”
“Hey, easy,” I said.
“Chill, baby. I’m not gonna steal him. Just giving you advice.”
The advice continued after we closed down. I negotiated down from drinks to a diner and as we sat waiting for midnight toast and pancakes, they took turns grilling me.
“Was he big down south as his muscles were?”
“Did he ride you like a bike?”
“What did he call you while you were fucking?”
“Did he like to slap you around?”
I must have shouted out my “No,” to the last one, cause they stopped in their tracks and we kinda stared dazed at each other across the booth. A second later, I realized she’d just meant it a sex thing.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s a…”
It was too late. Their eyes were lit up, all intent. We hung out often, but I’d never shared too much of my past with them. I sighed and decided that this
might as well be how they learned about the most recent dark bit of it.
“It’s a trigger,” I sighed.
“A trigger?” Kiara looked confused, but new awareness shone on Marissa’s face.
“Yeah, when you said slap – what I really saw was a clenched fist hitting me. Over and over and again.”
They leaned in and I told them the truth about why I had left Rico.
We had been lounging on the couch as usual, me bored, just watching him play one of his football video games. Ever since he’d started med school, it’s all he liked to do after coming from work, sometimes even while we ate. He called it practicing finger-work to be a surgeon, but I’d done the research. No one needed three hours of practice each day. Still, I could abide the boredom, even tolerate his growls when I suggested watching a movie together or something. But that day I nestled in a bit too deep and hit the remote. The power went off right as the fake audience on TV roared from some intense play.
Soon there was another roar in my ears. Rico screamed like I had murdered his family. He turned on me with rage, saw the sheepish apology on my face, then without warning, started punching my gut over and over, as if it was some sort of pillow.
Kiara clasped her hands over her mouth. “Oh sweetie,” she whispered.
“Fucking asshole,” Marissa spit at the floor. “Let me guess. He was a fucking Latino macho man before this too?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, he was quiet when he met. He changed after he started med school. I guess he had a lot more stress, and he couldn’t handle it.”
“Don’t make excuses for him,” Kiara demanded. “Did you stay? Tell me you didn’t stay.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t. I coughed a little, and then the pain hit. I started crying and he started crying. He said he didn’t even see me - as if that were better. I remembered the devil look on him though. He could see me alright. I just called my brother and walked out.”
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