Botero's Beautiful Horses

by Jan Conn

  That’s his big thing? Stacey asked.

  It is. It’s haunted him ever since. After, he thought maybe if he had pushed the wagon like his brother asked, it wouldn’t have happened. It was Danny’s fault, that much is obvious, at least as far as the stupid things kids get up to can be faulted, but when you’re little, you don’t see things clearly. Danny didn’t treat your dad well after that. Who’s to say why he would be mean to him, but he was. When Danny turned thirteen, he got into a squabble with his dad and ran away, and no one saw him after that. Thirteen is young to run away. Your dad thought his brother running away was his fault too, and your dad left home at sixteen, and he’s been running ever since. He’s talked about moving again. You don’t need to worry, though. I told him there’s no way we’re going anywhere, at least until you graduate. I like living in Fernie. Don’t you?

  Why does he want to move? What’s wrong with Fernie?

  There’s nothing wrong with Fernie. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. You have nothing to worry about. He means well. You need to know that. He wants the best for us all.

  Stacey knew her father’s habits. She knew he would be next door with Hart, smoking pot and bitching about life. Amber once described Sage as a stoner, and Stacey could think of nothing to refute it.

  Why does he get stoned all the time?

  It’s your father’s way of putting the day behind him. He’s in a better mood when he smokes than when he’s drinking. I like it better.

  Morgan the Organ smokes dope sometimes, Stacey said. Amber and I tried it, but I don’t see the point. Once you start smoking pot, you think everything in the world is amazing when really it’s not.

  17

  She had been thinking about it all day Friday. And since her mom and dad rarely went out of the house together, she would suggest they go to town for dinner and a movie or whatever else they could drum up, and she would have the house to herself for a few hours, have a few friends over for the evening. She wouldn’t call it a party because that would set off alarm bells and lead to a definitive no. She came home early from school so she could try the idea on her mom first, otherwise she had no hope. As soon as Stacey walked in the door, she knew it would not happen.

  I’m going to ask a huge favour, Della said. You can say no if you want to, but if you agree, it will make things much easier. Your Aunt Sadie is coming to stay, and I’m hoping we can offer her your bedroom.

  I have an Aunt Sadie?

  You know you do; I’ve mentioned her many times. She just hasn’t been around for twenty years. God only knows what made her surface now.

  Whenever Della had mentioned having a sister, she had talked of her in the past tense, describing how the two of them grew up and what they did to pass the time. Never had there been any mention of meeting up with Sadie, and as far as Stacey knew, her mother and her aunt never even wrote each other.

  How did she find us? Stacey asked.

  I can’t imagine how. I’m afraid to find out, if you want to know the truth. She’s like a stranger to me now.

  And so Stacey got busy on the phone and told her friends not only that the party at her place wasn’t going to happen but also that if it happened somewhere else, she couldn’t go. With her missing aunt coming to town, she had to stay home to find her.

  The babysitting kids had been picked up by the time Sage got home, and Della made the declaration all over again. Stacey went into her bedroom to arrange a few things for her aunt’s arrival. If she weren’t in the same room as her mom and dad, the conversations got more interesting to listen to.

  So, Sage said, she’s not around for your first wedding, she’s not around when your parents died, and she was nowhere in sight when we got together, and now out of the blue, she shows up. She must need something.

  I wouldn’t be so harsh about it. She’s family. I’ll bet she’s getting along just fine and wants to reconnect with her only sister.

  Sadie had insisted that Della shouldn’t worry about dinner. She would catch a bus into town and would arrive at six-thirty. She didn’t mind walking, she said, but since she didn’t know the layout of the town, maybe someone could pick her up.

  After several slanderous statements pulled out of thin air, Sage appeared almost upbeat about Della’s sister. Sadie’s arrival provided something new, and he liked that. Because Stacey and Della were busy changing sheets and tidying things after dinner, Sage washed and dried the dishes by himself, whistling a tune the whole time.

  Buses are often late, Sage said. I’ll be over visiting Hart for a while. Give me a shout when she arrives.

  The bus arrived fifteen minutes late, and Della and Stacey stood at the side of the depot waiting and watching the three people who disembarked. Sadie stepped off last by a considerable measure, and even after twenty years, Della recognized her immediately. Stacey stood back while her mom wrapped her arms around her long-lost relative. The two looked somewhat like sisters, but Sadie wore her hair long and straight, and she was the thinner of the two.

  Sadie, this is Stacey. She’s in grade ten already.

  Stacey said hello, but that wasn’t enough for Sadie. She gave her a hug, just not as long as the hug she’d given her sister. Sadie pointed to the large suitcase so the driver could extricate it from the bowels of the bus.

  You have such a nice smile, Stacey, Sadie said. You must have to beat them away with a stick.

  They drove around town. Sadie had never been to Fernie before. She said she’d never even heard of it. When they got to the house, Sage wasn’t home yet, but Molly the Nose stood at her front window taking everything in. Stacey went to Fort Whoop to fetch Sage, but he wouldn’t respond right away when she got there because he and Hart were arm wrestling.

  So this is my long-lost sister-in-law. Sage stuck out his hand. He didn’t hug often. Certainly not people he’d never met.

  Pleased to meet you, Sage. I’ve heard a lot about you.

  Della, you must have talked her ear off from the bus depot home.

  Your wife hasn’t said much about you, Sadie said. Willy Hofner gave me the lowdown.

  You know Willy Hofner? Sage said it, and Della thought it.

  I do. We met on a holiday cruise a few years ago. That’s how I knew how to find you. He told me you’d moved to Fernie.

  That miserable son of a bitch, Sage said. Where is he now?

  I have no idea. He had an American wife when we met. Her name was Izzie, and I think they might have lived in Montana, but don’t quote me on that. Anyway, I remember Izzie telling me they were moving back to New York. Her family lives there.

  Sage went to the fridge for beer and offered Sadie one. She said she had a bottle of rum in her suitcase, if they had a glass and some ice. Della said she’d join her, and after everyone had their drinks and went into the living room, Stacey opened a bottle of beer for herself and poured the contents into a plastic cup.

  A cruise? What kind of cruise?

  Well, it was in Mexico. It was my first time in Mexico, and that’s where we met. After he’d had a few drinks, Willy told me everything.

  How does he know where we live? Della asked.

  That part he didn’t explain. He said he didn’t think you’d want to meet up with him again. That’s what he said.

  I’ll bet he did, Sage said. Is his wife one of those rich upstate New Yorkers? The bastard owes me money.

  I couldn’t say for sure. Izzie had beautiful nails, that much I remember.

  Stacey listened to the conversation that bounced off the walls, and after everyone else helped themselves to a second and third drink, she went to the fridge and poured herself another beer. Her Aunt Sadie had done many different jobs, her favourite as a hostess on a cruise ship. She said she had the time of her life, and the way she said it, everyone understood she’d seen a thing or two in the men department. When she did finally marry, it was to a man named Marvin, kind but useless, and only after he died did she realize he owned a shopping mall in San Jose, which became hers. W
hen Della asked how Marvin died, Sadie said old age, and Sage laughed so hard he fell off the couch.

  After nine-thirty, Amber knocked on the door to see if Stacey could join her and Morgan and a few friends crammed into the back seat. Sage saw her at the door and invited them all in, despite Della’s objection. Morgan brought a bag into the house with some beer, and Sage rolled joints for those who wanted one. Everyone loved Aunt Sadie, but no one more than Stacey. She told Amber that when she grew up, she wanted to be that kind of woman.

  Stacey’s friends left just after one in the morning, and soon after, Della and Stacey felt too tired to stay up. Della showed Sadie the bedroom where she would sleep and where to find clean towels for the morning, then she went to bed, which was what Stacey wanted to do, but she was assigned to the couch in the living room, and Sage and Sadie said they wanted a nightcap because life was too short. For a time, they sat on separate chairs in the living room, and Stacey lay down on the couch with her eyes closed. Finally, they turned the lamp in the living room off and went to the kitchen table to play Rummy. Stacey heard her Aunt Sadie say the jokers needed to be part of the deck and considered wild cards and Sage saying he’d never heard of jokers being included before. Stacey hated cards and didn’t know what they were talking about.

  She dozed off and woke again to hear Sage insisting Aunt Sadie dance with him. Come on, Sadie Pooh, dance with me. One quick dance before we go to bed.

  You’re being silly. There’s no music. We can’t wake Della up.

  No, no. That’s not how it works. You think up a song in your head, and we’ll dance to it, and I’ll try and guess what the song is. Then we’ll be psychically connected. It’s all on the count of four.

  I’m going to bed now. Good night, Sage.

  Fine. Go to bed for all I care. Leave poor old Sage in the kitchen to dance by himself.

  Stacey heard him open another beer. She heard him shuffling his feet and banging into the kitchen chairs. She lay on her side, facing the doorway, and could see Sage come and look in on where she pretended to sleep. It occurred to her he might try to get her up to dance with him, but he just stood against the door frame, leaning, as if thinking were tiresome. He then fumbled into the bathroom. She heard him vomit and flush the toilet twice. He left the kitchen light on and made it into his bedroom. Stacey thought about getting up and turning the light off to save energy. She turned over on the couch, ignored the light from the kitchen, and listened to the blessing of silence.

  Saturday morning, Stacey woke with a headache. She heard things being moved around in the kitchen and knew it would be her mother. Despite being a Saturday, their usual cleaning frenzy couldn’t happen while Sadie was getting her beauty sleep. Stacey closed her eyes against the light streaming through the window, tried to imagine herself being in her Aunt Sadie’s shoes, standing on the deck of a large passenger ship, staring at a horizon with no end in sight, but each time she did, a violent red light, that wasn’t anything like a romantic sunset, clouded her vision.

  They didn’t finish breakfast until after ten, and Della knew if she didn’t take Sadie over to visit Molly the Nose, that her neighbour would end up on her doorstep insisting on an introduction. Sadie got a brief tour of Molly’s latest petit point project, and then Hart took over and coerced Della into yet another visit to Fort Whoop. When they got back to the house, Sadie said she’d love to see the downtown. They dropped Sage off at the river with his fishing gear and took the car because Sadie wanted to see everything there was to see. Stacey stayed home, thankful for some peace and quiet and a chance to take aspirin and have a hot bath. When she went back to bed to read, she wished she had gone with her mother and her aunt. It wasn’t everyday someone like Sadie came to town, and Sadie saw the world as a startling place. Stacey thought about how, until now, she hadn’t seen the world as ready and waiting to serve her needs. Aunt Sadie said you can only accomplish the things you can imagine, and Stacey couldn’t stop her mind turning in circles.

  In the middle of the afternoon, Della and Sadie returned, and Sadie asked if she could borrow the car and take Stacey to a restaurant for a coke so they could have time to get to know each other. Great idea, Della said, but it took her a minute to say so. First she thought about how she’d be sending Stacey off with her younger sister who wasn’t as much like her as she remembered. Aunt Sadie sprayed perfume on her index finger then dabbed it around her neckline. She told Stacey to hold out her index finger and accept a dab of her favourite perfume.

  If you smell good, there’s always a chance you look good, her aunt said. Farrah Fawcett wears this stuff, so they say.

  Stacey followed her aunt’s lead applying makeup and lipstick. After several minutes of scrutiny, Aunt Sadie said, There now, doesn’t that look better? What? You don’t think we both look like secret weapons heading out on the town?

  I guess so, Stacey said. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if there were no mirrors in the world. If no one actually knew what they looked like. Have you ever thought of that?

  No, Aunt Sadie said. I never have.

  Stacey could still feel the effects of the party the night before and wasn’t hungry, but Sadie insisted they go somewhere nice and found a place that served mussels they could share.

  I’ve never eaten mussels in my life. Never even heard of them.

  I’m not surprised, Sadie said. I’d never had mussels when I was your age. Someday I’ll take you out to eat escargot. Have you had escargot before?

  No. Aren’t those French slugs?

  Snails, actually. They come in many nationalities. I know they sound weird, but they’re yummy. I think you’d like them. Most people won’t give them a try. That’s what holds people back from a lot of things.

  So how long are you staying?

  It won’t be for long. Your house is small, and I’m putting you out of your bedroom.

  I don’t mind. You should stay longer.

  Your mom wouldn’t like that. I’m happy I tracked everyone down, and I’m especially happy to get to know you. I hear you’re good at school. What else do you do?

  Stacey explained her life in Fernie. It didn’t feel like much in the telling, but Sadie listened like it was the most enthralling tale invented. She told her about her close friends, the Environment Club and the play she was in last year that was okay but not something she would do again because unless you’re one of the main characters, you were just hanging around, making everyone else look good. By the look on her aunt’s face, she was meant to continue describing her life, but it didn’t take long to run out of things to say.

  Do you go on dates?

  I wouldn’t say dates, exactly. I hang out with the Environmental Club a lot, and sometimes we do things after. Like watch movies or go swimming.

  That’s smart, Sadie said. You don’t want to get tied down too early. Even in high school. Best to be good friends with lots of people. Every person you know gives you a new perspective on the world. It makes sense, don’t you think?

  I do. Everything you say makes sense, compared to most of the people in this town.

  Well, I think that’s a little over the top but sweet of you to say.

  Stacey didn’t like the look of them, but she ate one mussel just to be polite. She liked them, and after eating several more, Sadie noticed her counting how many were left, and she told her to eat all she wanted. When only one remained, Aunt Sadie said to finish things off, but Stacey said she’d already had eight, and if she could avoid it, she didn’t like to eat an odd number of anything.

  The thing is, Aunt Sadie said, eventually it all comes down to boys. You may be lucky and favour girls, but chances are it will be boys. They think we’ve got what they want, which we do, but actually it’s the other way around. A girl as good-looking as you are will be in the heat of the action soon enough, and the thing about boys is you can’t trust them because they come at you blind. They own their manhood like they own their car, and any boy with a car doesn’t leave it parke
d in the driveway for long. You don’t want to have anything to do with raising kids unless you’re older and want to own one. If you have a good mother like you do, then you might want to try it yourself. Me, I decided long ago not to bother. The thing is you’ve got to take control of your life.

  I haven’t thought about having kids, Stacey said. My friend Amber has. She has a hope chest and everything. I want to be more like you and travel around. You’ve been everywhere.

  I’ve been a few places, that’s for sure. But one thing I’ve learned after all these years is that you don’t need to go places. If you stay in one place and keep an open mind, the world will come to you.