If Wishes Were Curses

by Janeen Ippolito

  His silky black hair brushed my cheek. Oh, that was nice. I rolled my shoulders underneath his touch. Focus, Allis! “Nah, for that you’d need to give me a shoulder massage.”

  “I would be happy to massage anywhere you wanted.”

  My mind blanked. Just like that, from master of wit to oh shit, that’s definitely … those were definitely … words. Very good words, evoking very good feelings in a lot of places.

  Gideon made a gagging sound and pounded on the door. “Okay, if Jack doesn’t open the door, I’m busting in.”

  “Eavesdropping, bro?”

  “I don’t need to. Body language and scent tell the story.” He grimaced. “This is why we never double date.”

  “Oh, grow up and keep your nose to yourself.” I stared inside the coffee shop. Respecting boundaries was all well and good, but this was getting old. I’d even called Jack, multiple times, and gotten nothing.

  At that moment, a strong desire to run hit my brain, strong enough to pierce through my mental shields. Maybe my shields were weaker than usual with everything that had happened. But whatever the reason, my mind was consumed with the urge to run away, to be anywhere else other than here. My feet ached with the strength of the desire, and I clenched my fists, trying to reinforce my mental shields.

  “What is it?”

  Gideon and Cendric spoke at the same time, Gideon grabbing my arm, Cendric grabbing my hand. All to protect me on a sidewalk at night on an empty street in the Hollows, when I was the most dangerous of the bunch, according to my former curse-mark. It would have been amusing, but the need to run overwhelmed all else. Not from me. From someone else.

  An odd, gekkering sound came from behind me. Gideon growled, then relaxed, releasing his grip. “Really, Jack?”

  I pulled out of Cendric’s grasp and turned to see a fox vixen standing there, scars crisscrossing her reddish-brown fur and blue eyes looking up at me intensely. Her desire to run was even stronger.

  I shoved up stronger shields and squared my shoulders, ready to pull one hell of a word vomit before I lost my nerve. Apologizing was awkward, especially when part of me still wanted to fry her with my Jinn magic. “I’m sorry I invaded your territory, and I’m sorry I startled you and pushed you into your dark side. I’m sorry for making you scared for the safety of your kits. If me being here bothers you, then I can leave. We never have to meet again.”

  Another gekkering sort of chuckle, and she shook herself. “Gideon and Cendric, go in through the back entrance. You don’t need to bother with the front. I can smell Allis’s nerves, and your presence is not helping.”

  Cendric frowned. “As opposed to your endless assistance?”

  His protectiveness was cute. But not right now. I sighed, glancing at both of them over my shoulder. “It’s fine, both of you. She already tried to kill me and that didn’t work. I think I’m safe.”

  Gideon nodded and headed toward the back of the building. Cendric paused a moment longer, his expression still concerned. “I am a lawyer and mediator.”

  “Cid, if we need your services, we’re doomed.” I winked at him. “Go make sure Matthias gives me a triple shot of espresso.”

  “Triple?”

  “Absolutely. However he wants to make it.”

  Considering how exhausted I was, I would need every last drop.

  Once I heard Cendric’s steps fade, I turned back to the vixen, still standing there with her tails twitching back and forth. Jack’s personality was always so much larger than life that it was easy to forget just how small she was as a shifter. I remembered her saying once that she wasn’t as strong as other shifters because strength was doled out in proportion to the physical size of the animal. Jack might be able to rip my arm off, but against other shifters, she was in the same place as otters like Gideon: it would be far easier for her to slip away than to challenge someone directly.

  And yet, Jack did just that.

  I scrubbed my hand through my hair. “As I said, I’m sorry about all that. I’ve had a really long couple of days, with everything happening and people betraying us right and left.”

  “Matthias and I were part of that.” Her tone was flat.

  “I’m sure you had a good reason.”

  I gotta keep giving excuses. It’ll be easier for me to cut ties that way, and I can start to transition my life. I’m starting my own business anyway, and who knows what will happen with Cendric?

  Hopefully Jack and I can make up enough to solve the issue with Neil Halverson and the whole “Allis killed a shifter” problem, and then part ways.

  The familiar, bittersweet thoughts wrapped around me. The first steps I always took before leaving an area.

  Why wouldn’t Jack stop chuckling? “Honestly, Allis, it was about time you stood up for yourself. Yes, it was stupid as hell for you to show up in my shop, but you did it because you felt safe there. You always have. I can’t fault that, not when Matthias works so hard at welcoming others.” She shifted into her human form, looking badass as usual with her leather jacket, motorcycle boots, and leather pants. “Remember what I told you when I hired you?”

  “Yeah. Foxes aren’t wolves. You don’t do packs. You have friends, but you don’t let people in easily, so I shouldn’t expect anything other than for you to have my back and for us to work together, as long as I didn’t screw up or turn evil. Just let things flow.”

  After four years, I thought things were different, that perhaps Jack had changed her mind about letting me in after everything we had been through. Apparently I was wrong.

  She ran a hand through her red hair, tugging hard at the ends. “I didn’t always play things so safe. I mean, it’s true about foxes, but I’m a social person. I like people, and I want to protect them. I used to challenge any monster and get away with it. When you’re small and sly and bold, it puts others off-guard.” A fleeting grin passed over her face, then disappeared into shadows. “All that changed when they went after my mate.”

  “The estrangement.”

  “Estrangement.” Jack gave a hollow laugh. “He’s a tree elf, from an old, backwoods family in a valley town called Greenvale, a few hours outside of Pittsburgh. They were pissed that we were mated. Called our children monsters. So they tried to break the mate bond, assuming it was only on my end, and if it killed me and the kits I carried, that solved both problems. But Davis...Iverdryne…” She sucked in a breath. Shock rippled through me. She’d mentioned his true name, something elves guarded with their lives, since it was tied to their magic. A high degree of trust in me was conveyed by the mere mention of his name. “He wouldn’t let them kill me and our kits. So he took the worst of the magic on himself, and it mostly killed him. But his essence remains, trapped within the magisphere and his soul tree. I feel him, still. A bit like a coma, except we can connect sometimes.”

  I pressed my lips together. “Hell, Jack. I’m sorry.”

  “After that, I ended up here in Pittsburgh. My family still lives in Greenvale because it’s the only place my skoffin father can hide from his own bloodthirsty people who’d try to take him back and kidnap my siblings and train them. I see them a few times a year, under supervision from the elders. They’re scared I’m going to do something drastic.” She paused. “I started doing private investigations, but after what happened with Iverdryne I didn’t put myself out there that much. I had two kits to raise who were already dealing with the lack of their father. Matthias has been great in that regard—he loves kids, but he’s … he’s not into any kind of relationship at this point. The sirens didn’t raise him for that, and he doesn’t really know how. So we look after each other, platonically. Family. After all, I am still mated. I can still communicate with Iverdryne. My kitsune side lets me dream-share when there are thin places in the magisphere or strong magic around.”

  The pieces began to fall into place. “So when I took down the bear shifter, that stirred everything up—”

  “It scared the shit out of me to be associated with you. All
the elementals, the elves, are clannish at the top. Many of the ones in the Fae court believe the stories from Iverdryne’s family rather than the truth. Theiya doesn’t, and she has some pull with her high warrior status, but she can only do so much to shield others. I couldn’t put my kits in danger by standing up for you or helping you.”

  I nodded, mentally exhausted by all Jack’s revelations. “I didn’t mean to endanger them.”

  “I was wrong, Allis. No apologies from you.” She shook her head. “I’m tired of being

  afraid and not doing what I should because of what could happen. I should have seen your Jinn side as a gift, not a threat. Hell, I of all people should have stood by you and helped you break the curse-mark instead of going along with the effects. It’s about time someone got the power to challenge the Fae and hold them accountable.”

  “Isn’t that what you do?”

  “I started out in enforcement, hunting and killing offenders. It’s what I’m best at.” She

  gave a sharp-toothed smile. “Under the radar, of course, trusting Theiya to have my back when things got hot. But you can do more than that. You can make people listen, bend the rules. It’s one reason why the Fae agreed to curse-mark your magic. They don’t want you walking into their meetings, past their wards, and getting into the secret places where they hide stuff. But that’s exactly where you need to be. We have enough people to hunt down and beat others up in the Fae. But someone who is unbound by the rules of magic and unafraid? That’s far more terrifying.”

  I remembered the compulsion Linus tried on me. How I stood up to Jack, my magic shoving back against the deadly shadows that threatened to freeze me. I swallowed. “It’s dangerous though. The curse-mark was safer than these urges.”

  “Safe isn’t always good.” She scoffed. “I shouldn’t have let all that get to me. Matthias is an assassin and a siren. If the two of us together can’t keep my kits from getting killed, no one can.” She held out her hand. “I’m sorry, Allis. This one was a lot on me. I’ve got your back now, and I’ll work on trusting you.”

  “That’s great.” I eyed her hand skeptically.

  “You’d better accept this, because I’m not always so reasonable.”

  Jack’s eyes glinted with sharp humor. She was telling the truth on all counts. Better a harsh truth than a sweet lie. I shook her hand and pulled her in for a quick hug. “Wow, my first apology with a threat.”

  “It won’t be your last.”

  Chapter 18

  We walked around the building toward the back of the shop. I scuffed at a piece of crumpled trash on the sidewalk. “Be careful. Having Jinn magic probably means I can kick your butt a lot easier in training now.”

  “I’d be scared if you had any idea how to use it,” she retorted.

  I raised my eyebrows at her. “My ignorance should make you more afraid.” We pushed through the entrance and walked through the kitchen. It was filled with large, older appliances, but it was clean. And very noisy compared to outside. Without the distraction of an intense conversation, my senses were on rapid-fire input. I raised what shields I could in my mind.

  “It would, but I’m done with fear. Bring it on. I’ll shut you down so fast you’ll panic and turn blue like that blob in Aladdin.”

  “Hey, that’s racist!”

  Her dark eyes gleamed with humor. “No, this is racist: you don’t even look like a Jinn. You’re too pasty.”

  I mock-glared at her. “Says the half-Japanese person with red hair.”

  “Totally normal for kitsune.”

  “What’s your other side?”

  “Icelandic. Although my father never speaks about his family, and I didn’t have great experiences with them. They’re kind of like old-school Vikings, only fiercer. I think my mother pulled some special tricks so the kitsune side dominated.” She stifled a shudder. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m a kitsune who happens to be able to stun people on sight and goes into the occasional berserker rage.” Jack frowned. “I wonder if the curse-mark kept your father’s side from manifesting physically.”

  I hadn’t thought of that. “Do you think I’ll wake up one day looking like him?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not a Fae doctor, but my mate was—is. Next time we connect in a dream, I’ll ask him. But having a curse-mark like that for so long, the odds are not good, Al. You’re probably stuck with a million freckles and eternal sunburn.”

  “Of course I am.”

  Beneath the jibes, my brain rattled with the truth of her words. Another reminder that I wasn’t who I thought I was. My father had come from a completely different part of the world with a different philosophy and mindset. A different language, different ethnicity.

  And he’d left me here, without any sense of who I was. Without bothering to teach me about my magic or my identity. Without connecting me with any relatives. Even Gideon had family who wanted him. A bit too aggressively, but still.

  I sighed. Hang on to what you have, Allis.

  As we entered the café, the incredible, magical smell of coffee cleared the gloom from my mind. Matthias put a mug in my hand right away. “Triple shot, maple-caramel-raspberry flavor, extra foam, and I topped it with a little cayenne and nutmeg since you like to try new things. Drink it all. There can be more.”

  “Yes, Dad.” I rolled my eyes and took a large, burning swallow. Caffeinated joy spread through me. “Thanks.”

  “And for Jack, plain black coffee and endless gratitude for making up with Allis.”

  He gave Jack a knowing look, and she stuck her tongue out at him. “Maybe I just don’t want to lose my most reliable babysitter.”

  “Oh yes, because that’s all I’m good for.”

  I tapped into his desires, just enough to sense how much Matthias wanted to stay in her life, no matter what else happened. No matter how much he’d have to stay on the sidelines. Jack pushing him away was at the top of his fears.

  Hmmm. Not interested in anything more? Maybe. That didn’t mean there wasn’t something there. But Matthias and Jack were both adults in a hard situation—and then there was Jack’s mate, somewhere in the netherworld. I might be good at solving romantic problems, but they hadn’t asked for my help, so it was literally not my business.

  Besides, I couldn’t even figure out what the situation was with Cendric, other than we hadn’t had nearly enough time to figure things out. And we weren’t likely to anytime soon.

  The rush of his blood through my veins anchored me. Guided me to where he sat at a small table, chatting with Gideon about some kind of shifter politics. My brother was laughing, which was a good sign.

  Cendric looked up, glancing unerringly toward me. As our eyes met, it was though electricity mixed with the deepest sense of home. As if I belonged where he was. Just being closer to him strengthened my mental shields and made it easier to focus through the intense input of everything around me. Then his gaze shifted to Jack, and his expression darkened. I could sense his tension. Not from my magic, but from his desire for bloodshed and vengeance. Then his jaw twitched, and the darkness of his eyes vanished. At least he could control himself.

  If we didn’t stop Neil, any interpersonal friction wouldn’t be an issue. At least everyone was mostly on the same page, even if they wanted to kill each other on the side. And Cendric and I weren’t going to be parted. Not again.

  Then I noticed a third figure, tucked away in a corner. She looked like she wore everyday clothes, but beneath the glamour she was clad in the scarlet of the Fae enforcers. The coffee jumped in my stomach.

  Theiya.

  I walked toward her, swallowing my nerves. Jack might have turned away out of fear, but Theiya had tried to help me.

  The light elf looked up from her paper, not smiling although her eyes were friendly. Her brown skin was pinched with fatigue. Wisps of dark hair had escaped her bun and were tucked behind her pointed ears. “I’m not here to arrest you, Allis. Your lawyer satisfied that with his negotiations while you were outside.�
�

  “Yeah, and you helped me find him. Helped us to talk.”

  “It was the right thing to do. You needed help, and he is the blood binder of the city, the Blood Lord of the Fae court. It was only truthful to inform you of your rights.”

  Ah yes. Elves and their inability to lie.

  “Yes, but you could have withheld the information,” I said.

  A smile ghosted Theiya’s face. “Yes. But I don’t do that to friends unless the need requires it. And Cendric is a friend as well as you.”

  She considered me a friend? Oddly comforting, even if she showed it strangely. I paused. Theiya couldn’t lie. “Thei, the bond between Cendric and me. What is it?”

  “I don’t know. Interpersonal matters are your specialty, not mine. I would rather walk naked through a field of briars.” She paused. “But I can say that the Jinn Lady of the court sees you as a threat, Allis. Jinn are territorial, and she has claimed Pittsburgh.”

  “Queen Epriana let her?”

  “The queen and the court set specific rules. The queen still has ultimate authority, but the other lords and ladies of the court can stake territory for their races. Malda only claims Pittsburgh as hers so no other Jinn may come here. Which means your presence is a threat to her.”

  “Great.” I sighed.

  Theiya’s eyes glinted. “A threat would be good for her. She’s very tiresome.” She closed her paper. “But right now, I’m here on official business. If Neil Halverson is causing this much trouble, I should be involved. The court will be embarrassed and angry that he got away with turning Fae into vampires under their noses, and when they get that way, they tend to throw people into prison for small infractions. It makes them feel like they’re accomplishing something.”

  Cendric walked up to me. “Unfortunately, she’s right.”

  I took another swallow. “So we take down Neil, let the court take the credit, and they leave us alone?”

  “Essentially, yes,” Theiya said. “And I’ve been up for twenty-four hours straight, so let’s act quickly.”

  Jack snorted and walked over towards us. “And here I thought you enjoyed being a workaholic.”