Heart Waves
Page 18
“The only way he can do that is through you. And you gave him the opening he wanted.”
“First of all, you know that would never happen. Second, if you guys were as close as you say, he knows lots of other ways to hurt you.”
“Promise me something Jenna?” The somber tone of his voice and sombre look in his eye made my stomach queasy.
I nodded.
“Promise you’ll stay away from him.”
Maybe I didn’t lose my mind, maybe Reece lost his. I had nothing to do with Tyler. I didn’t know him. I didn’t like him. I had no reason to be in Tyler’s vicinity, unless I was with Reece.
“In what circumstance do you envision Tyler and I hanging out?”
Reece continued, “I know I must be coming off like a controlling, possessive jerk. Who knows? Maybe I am. I just need to know you’ll never be with Tyler. I mean never. Ever.”
Before I could answer, the door leading from the hall into the suite exploded open. Mike looked at us, and then stalked off into his room slamming the door behind him.
I wondered what happened and where Grace could be. I jumped up and ran to the door calling out into the hall for my friend. No answer. I looked out of the window in the common room overlooking the entrance to the building. No sign of Grace.
“I wonder what happened.” I said to myself. Reece already disappeared into the bedroom to check on Mike.
A few minutes later, Reece returned. “Looks like I’ll be driving you home.
I wondered what would drive Grace to just up and leave without even a word to me. Mike must’ve really let his true colors shine through. It didn’t surprise me.
“What happened?” I asked.
Reece shrugged. “All I know is she broke up with him.”
My eyes grew five times larger than normal. “She did? That doesn’t make any sense. She’s been crazy about him for years.”
“Sometimes people change.”
I didn’t miss the shift of his eyes or the sad tone of his voice. Nor did I challenge him on either. Sometimes it’s better to just leave things alone.
“Poor Grace.” I said.
“Poor Grace?” he snapped, “Did you see Mike? She broke up with him. He’s the one devastated.”
“Devastated? Mike? Really?”
“C’mon,” Reece opened the door leading out to the hall, “He wants to be alone, and I’m sure you’re the last person he wants to see.”
Ouch. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he meant for his words to sting.
Silence hung between us as we walked to his car. I still couldn’t get past the niggling feeling that Mike did something stupid. After all, Grace did worship him, and she did flip out after finding something incriminating in his desk drawer.
He probably had another girl’s phone number, or maybe a love letter to or from someone else. While I wouldn’t admit it to either Reece or Grace, I still had a hard time believing Mike had a heart and feelings like the rest of us.
Reece didn’t say much on the ride home. I couldn’t tell which situation had him in such a foul mood, Tyler or Mike.
“I thought Tyler was mad at you?” I’d been thinking it and really had no intention of saying it out loud.
“He is.” Reece kept his answer to the point. He didn’t want to get in to it, didn’t want to elaborate. Like everything else, he let me know the basics, the rest would come in time. Still, I could try to put my foot on the accelerator.
“Then why are you so angry? Why does he have you so worried?”
“Tyler is vindictive. He wants to hurt and humiliate me.”
“Don’t let him get under your skin. If you let him see he has you on the ropes he’ll attack. Like when a shark smells blood. He’ll swim at top speed to get to it.”
Reece took my hand in his, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. He gave me a little squeeze before letting it go somewhat dismissively.
“I really am sorry about before.” He forced a grin, “I love that you worry about me,” his lips drew up, but the smile he attempted didn’t shine through.
“Don’t take him on Reece. I mean it. He’s got nothing to lose.”
Reece didn’t say another word about Tyler. The subject was closed. Dead actually. I wondered what happened to the light, easy-going conversations we used to have, and why talking seemed almost impossible these days.
“I’m not going to hang out after I drop you off. I want to get back. For Mike.”
While that may be true, I knew he also wanted to get away from me. Away from answering questions I might have, or providing explanations because the situation seemed much stranger than he made it out to be. This was the first time I knew of, that he purposely lied to me.
Chapter 32
Since Reece didn’t plan on staying and spending time with me, I asked him to drop me off at Grace’s house. Just as I suspected, her car sat in the driveway. I kissed Reece goodbye and went to find out exactly what happened.
Grace cracked the door open, a bowl of ice cream in her hand. “Did he send you?” She asked.
“Who?” I asked, stunned by her strange behavior. “Mike? Of course not.”
“Good,” she opened the door wider for me to enter, turned and headed back toward the kitchen. “I can’t deal with him now,” she slunk down on one of the kitchen chairs, one leg crossed beneath her.
“What the hell happened?” I asked sitting in the chair opposite her.
Grace looked around, making sure we were alone, satisfied her parents and little brother were not in earshot she whispered.
“I found a picture in his desk drawer.”
“Of another girl?” I asked, certain I was right about Mike being a cheat.
Her mouth twitched as she shook her head, “No. It was me. I sent it to his phone, like a month ago.”
Confused I asked, “So what’s the big deal?”
She looked down into her bowl as she answered. “He promised he would delete it.” Realizing I still didn’t get what she didn’t want to say she explained, “I wasn’t exactly dressed appropriately.”
“You sent him a naked picture?” I asked in disbelief, completely blown away that my best friend would do something so scandalous.
“Shh.” She rebuked with wide eyes. “Of course not. I wasn’t naked.” I couldn’t help but notice how the volume of her voice kept growing lower. “Just in a bra and underwear.”
“Are you kidding me? And you’re mad at him?”
“He promised he’d delete it. Instead he printed it out. Do you have any idea what my parents would do if they saw that?”
I smirked imagining their shocked faces. “They’d send you to an all-girl school. A convent maybe.”
“Exactly.”
“Why would you do something so stupid?” I understood her anger at Mike, but still, she had to know she was taking a risk when she sent it.
“He promised he’d delete it! How did I know he lied?”
Because he’s Mike, I wanted to say. “Did you ask him why he didn’t?”
She shook her head, her eyes off to the side. “He said he wanted to keep it because I look so beautiful and it makes him feel close to me.” She hesitated, “And then he picks that moment to tell me he loves me!”
“The nerve! He really is as rotten as I thought he was.” She didn’t laugh. She didn’t even crack a smile. “Grace, don’t you feel the same way?”
She shook her head and closed her eyes, “It was the challenge all along.”
“If that’s true you would’ve broken up with him a month ago.”
She didn’t answer. She went back to scooping the ice cream out of the bowl and into her mouth. “He’s a jerk.”
I decided to leave it at that. I thought if I gave her time and space, she’d come around and figure out how she really felt. What insight could I possibly give her? Me? The most inexperienced of all our friends. I couldn’t even figure out what was going on with my boyfriend, let alone hers.
* * *
I sat in homeroom staring at my schedule, knowing this year should be a breeze. I took most of the tough classes already, and completed my math and science requirements in June. I opted out of AP Calculus and took Calligraphy instead. I still had Literacy, World Studies, Phys Ed, Language, Music Appreciation and Psychology.
We didn’t do anything the first day of school but meet our teachers, get our syllabi and list of supplies for each class. Good thing, because my mind was completely focused on this coming weekend. Every time I thought about it I felt a lump form in my throat.
I could think of nothing better than waking up next to Reece, his arms around me, holding me close. I looked forward to it with wild anticipation. From the moment we met, the first time we touched, the cataclysmic connection between us, it had all been leading up to this.
Whatever came next, I wanted to share this experience with him. I loved Reece with every part of my heart and mind. No matter what happened I always would.
But the longer I had to wait, the closer the time came, the more apprehension snaked it’s way into my mind. A small voice cried out in my head things were about to go awry and this would only make it harder.
I pushed it back, ignored it. I knew Reece loved me, and I him, in this I had no doubt, but since his strange behavior with Tyler, I was on edge. Now that the expectation had been set, I couldn’t back out. I didn’t want to. Not really.
These thoughts ran through my head, keeping me preoccupied through the day, especially as it drew to an end. I couldn’t wait to get home and get my new, too-stiff shoes off. Between being in half a fog and trying to tough out the pain in my toes, I didn’t see much as I exited out the front doors of the school.
Warren Brooks walked next to me, going on and on incessantly since the beginning of the last period about how much I changed over the summer.
“Look at you,” he said, his blue eyes shining, white teeth sparkling, “You look amazing. I never noticed how long your eyelashes are,” he gushed. “Didn’t you have braces?” I nodded. “When did they come off?”
“Three years ago,” I answered. But he just kept at it, one complimentary observation after another.
If Warren showed an interest in me at the end of the last school year, I would have been flattered. He was a rare breed, cute, smart, funny and cool. He was also a genuinely nice guy. He’d stop to help if you dropped your books or give correct directions to a freshman.
He wasn’t known for leading girls on or being a player, a major plus for me, given my dating experiences. But now, he reminded me more of an annoying fly I wanted to shoo away, than a guy I might have had an interest in.
“Jenna, are you okay?”
I stopped short, my heart thudding loudly. I looked around, searching through the crowd. I thought I caught a glimpse of Reece standing by the curb. I knew it was absurd, wishful thinking brought on by Warren’s attentiveness. I felt my heartbeat in my throat. I felt Reece, sensed him nearby.
“Jenna?” Warren spoke again.
I turned to look at him, but before I could answer, I was off my feet spinning in the air.
“Reece!” I squealed in delight. Feeling like the sun peeked out from behind dark storm clouds to shine only on me. “What are you doing here?”
“You don’t mind if I steal her away do you?” He directed to Warren, just a bit condescendingly.
Warren’s hands came up palms open. “No, no. Of course not. See you around Jenna.”
“You really are jealous and possessive aren’t you?” I asked smirking, happy to be with the love of my life.
“You have no idea,” he squeezed me tight in his arms. Placing me back on the ground, Reece took my hand and led me to his car in the back of the school parking lot.
“What are you doing here?” I was curious. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
He looked at me and gave a crooked smile, making me feel all wet noodlish. Reece came around to my side of the car and opened the door.
“A scheduling error,” he went on to explain. “The class time had to be changed. I saw the note taped to the door earlier in the day. I knew immediately this is where I needed to be.”
“Needed to be?” I asked.
He nodded. “And lucky for me I got here when I did. That dork you were walking with was trying to put the moves on you.”
“You think so?” I asked feigning interest.
He narrowed his eyes, “Not funny Jenna. Besides I needed a dose of you to get me through the day.” He paused.
“Careful,” I teased, “Your starting to come on a little strong.”
“And I wanted to be sure word got out that you’re taken.”
I laughed. “Like you have anything to worry about.”
“If Super Dork was any sign, I have a lot to worry about.” He said too seriously powering the car on and putting it in gear. “According to Mike, the guys drool over you every September.”
“Until he gets involved. Good ole Mike. He either sends them packing or turns up the aggressive dial. How is Mike?” I asked.
“Depressed. Quiet.”
Reece parked in front of my house. He held onto the steering wheel, looking down. I could see something bothered him. I placed my hand on his shoulder, expecting him to turn and give me his mischievous smile. Instead his lips pressed together into a thin line. Definitely a sign of stress.
“Hey, if Mike is depressed, how come you look like you lost your best friend?”
“It’s just, the guys had this great idea to cheer Mike up and celebrate being back together.”
“You were barely even apart,” I smirked.
“I know,” he kept his gaze down, away from me.
“And?”
“I’m really sorry. They’re throwing a party in the suite Friday night. I still want you to stay, but its not going to be just the two of us.”
“Oh.” I answered hoping my disappointment didn’t ring through. “That’s fine.”
“I’m so sorry, Jenna.” I could tell by his sad puppy dog eyes he was.
“No big deal.” I lied. The tears I fought to hold back stung. “We still have Saturday night.”
He nodded and offered a slight smile, like he knew his words were meaningless. “We compromised. We have the party Friday and they find somewhere else to sleep Saturday. I get you all to myself.”
“Great.” One more day to think about my decision, to worry about what happens next, and to focus on feeling abandoned. “Want to come in?” I asked.
“Won’t your parents get mad?”
Over the summer he hadn’t been allowed inside unless one of my parents were home. Because of the warm summer weather, the rules weren’t difficult to follow. Although still warm and pleasant, now the weather didn’t matter. I felt like my parents didn’t have as much say. Reece went to college and he lived on campus. That meant we could be alone any time we wanted.
I shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter does it?” I couldn’t say it, but I knew he wouldn’t be coming around much longer.
Chapter 33
My stomach hurt. Physical pain. I worked myself up. I knew it. I didn’t mean to. I meditated all week and infused positive energy into my thoughts. At least I tried. Nothing worked.
I felt the tumbling, swirling, and cramping in my stomach. Constant nausea threatened to overtake me at the most inopportune moments, like any time I opened my mouth. I knew why I felt so horrible. Friday was here. I tried to find words to describe the omen of gloom darkening my soul. I couldn’t.
This was the turning point.
The day would end badly. No matter how many positive thoughts I tried desperately to reach out and take hold of, each one moved just out of my grasp.
I shook my head. No.
The future could change. I could change it. Just don’t let go. No matter what. Of course I knew in the end, the choice wouldn’t be mine.
The plans were set. Both sets of parents were under the impression I would be spending the weekend at Grace’s house helping her look after her little brother. Trying to calm my parents’ reservations, I left the house in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tee shirt. I packed an overnight bag in front of my mother, another pair of flannel pants and a hoodie for Saturday. I knew I’d have to check in back at the house before Sunday, so I looked set.
“And you’re going to be there alone?” My mother asked, definitely suspicious.
“Yep, just Grace, Connor and me.”
“If I find out you’re lying to me Jenna, Reece will never be allowed in this house again. Understand?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
I wondered if all the trepidation was from fear of getting caught. I’d never told my parents a lie this big before. I never had a reason to. They were pretty easy going most of the time, but I knew asking to spend the night with Reece was out of the realm of possibility.
I realized there existed a more than likely chance I would get caught. What if my parents decided to check up on me by calling Grace’s house later than nine o’clock? Or worse, what if they drove over there and insisted on seeing me? We wouldn’t be able to explain my absence. And what if everything went perfectly and Mike shows up during the week and mentions I was there? Too much room for error.
Once I rationalized all the things that could go wrong, I felt slightly better. Sure they would ban me from seeing Reece ever again, but they couldn’t possibly enforce such a punishment. Although it would be difficult, there were ways we could see each other. If they were the great obstacle I anticipated coming between us, we could work around that.
* * *
I headed over to Grace’s house at seven o’clock. This left plenty of time for us to talk and for me to change clothes and put on makeup. Aside from Mike’s party over the summer, I’d never been to a college party. The thought of that alone intimidated me. I needed as much moral support as she could muster.