Alarm Call ob-8

by Quintin Jardine

  ‘Fine, as long as your parents are upstanding citizens.’

  ‘As up as you’ll find,’ I assured him.

  ‘We will need, of course, the child’s birth certif icate. Do you still have it, or did Mr Wallinger take that with him?’

  ‘He took it.’

  ‘In that case we’ll need a duplicate. You can apply for one online, but that will take a couple of weeks. Do you have a reliable friend in London?’

  Prim shook her head. ‘No, I was totally wrapped up in Paul. I never had time to make other friendships.’

  ‘I can handle that,’ I said. ‘What does he have to do?’

  ‘He needs to go to the Family Records Centre in London. It’s in Myddelton Street, near King’s Cross, and by happy chance it’s open on Saturdays, for the convenience of amateur genealogical researchers. They will issue an official duplicate certificate.’

  I called Mark Kravitz there and then; I didn’t ask what he was doing, only where he was. He understood the problem at once; better than that, he knew the FRC well, and had a contact there. Where does he not have a contact? I asked myself. He undertook to get the replacement certificate that afternoon, and courier it to Greg McPhillips overnight. ‘That’s done,’ I told Harvey. ‘What’s the other front?’

  ‘At the first opportunity, Miss Phillips must make a formal complaint to the police, alleging theft of her funds by Mr Wallinger.’

  ‘Where?’ asked Prim. ‘Will I need to go back to London?’

  ‘No, you don’t have to do that. If we’re asserting your Scottish residence, you can complain to your local force. It’s better in some ways; frankly, a two-and-a-half-million-pound fraud is small potatoes for the Metropolitan Police, but it will get attention in Scotland.’ He glanced back at me. ‘Oz, I don’t suppose you have a tame policeman as well?’

  ‘No, but I know someone who has plenty.’ I took out the trusty mobile again and called Ricky Ross. He and I were the best of enemies once, but we’ve turned into pretty good friends. He was a detective superintendent in Edinburgh until he made an arse of himself in an investigation in which I was more than peripherally involved, but he recovered from that debacle to form a successful security business. He’s also kept many of his old CID pals, and that can come in very handy.

  In his business, he’s always contactable. His phone was on auto-answer, but when I left a message, he called me back inside a minute.

  ‘What’s up?’ he asked. ‘It’s not my birthday, so I guess something must be.’

  ‘I need to talk to a copper, Rick, someone who’s good at chasing embezzled funds.’

  I’ll swear he started to laugh, then choked it off. ‘Who’s been daft enough to steal your money?’ he exclaimed.

  ‘Not mine, Primavera’s.’

  ‘The ex? Where is she?’

  ‘Right now? Auchterarder.’

  ‘That’s Tayside. There’s a guy in Strathclyde she should speak to; it would be better if she was in their area.’

  ‘That’s okay. She’s coming back to my place later on today, and that’s covered by Strathclyde Police.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll speak to him and make an appointment. What evidence does she have, bank statements and the like?’

  I asked her. ‘Nothing with me,’ she replied. ‘It’s all in my safe at the flat.’

  ‘No worries; you can fly down tomorrow and get it.’ I put the phone back to my ear, but Ricky had heard it all.

  ‘I’ll fix something up for Monday, then,’ he promised, ‘assuming the guy’s available and not on holiday or anything. His name is Detective Inspector Ian McLaren, and he’s a specialist fraud investigator. I’ll ask him to go to Loch Lomond; I’ll get back to you with a time. By the way,’ Ricky paused, ‘just so as you know, he was a friend of Mike Dylan.’

  ‘Noted, but he’s ancient history. Thanks.’ I killed the call. ‘Copper taken care of, Harvey,’ I said, then glanced at my watch. ‘That’s enough for now. You go and join the family for a sherry, or whatever you top lawyers drink pre-lunch these days. I’ll join you after I’ve run an errand.’

  ‘What’s that?’ Prim asked.

  ‘You,’ I told her. ‘This has been the easy part of your day; in case you’ve forgotten, I’m now going to take you home, where you will tell your mother and father the whole truth and nothing but the truth.’

  She stood and gave me a pale smile. ‘Okay, but you may not make it to Semple House. Remember, you’ve told the world my middle name.’

  Chapter 11

  I did, though. Incidentally, on the subject of Phillips forenames: Primavera was christened such because she was conceived in the springtime, in Spain; the Eagle part, you know about. I’ll leave you to work out why her sister is called Dawn, but their father once confided to me that she narrowly missed having Kellogg as a middle name, and I don’t think old Super-Dave was joking.

  I dropped her at Semple House, then watched her walk up the driveway to the front porch and ring the bell: that’s how much I trusted her not to do a runner as soon as my back was turned and just spend a couple of hours walking around town or, worse, in the pub. I even waited until I saw the door open before I drove off.

  Ellen didn’t press me too hard when I got back to the hotel, although we were seated together at the lunch table. ‘She’s in trouble, is she?’ was all she asked.

  ‘Yes. Harvey will tell you all about it later on, I’m sure.’

  ‘Not if he’s acting for her, he won’t: he’s hot on client confidentiality.’

  ‘Tell him I’ve given you special dispensation.’

  ‘You sound like the Pope. You really do think a lot of yourself these days, wee brother, don’t you?’

  I crossed myself, surreptitiously. ‘Does it show?’

  She smiled. ‘It’s not your public image, don’t worry. But you’ve changed: there’s an authority about you that wasn’t there before. It used to be that all our lives revolved around Dad, but not any more.’ She glanced sideways at me. ‘Incidentally, I’m glad you two have made it up, whatever it was that was wrong between you. He mentioned that you’d been to see him.’

  ‘What makes you think there was anything wrong?’

  ‘Credit me with sense, and powers of observation, please. Just because I never asked doesn’t mean I never knew or didn’t care.’

  ‘Okay, I admit it. We had a disagreement, but it’s sorted.’

  ‘Well, now that it is, how about you putting in a word with him for Harvey?’

  ‘Hey,’ I whispered, ‘I’m only just recognising the guy’s existence myself.’

  ‘Because it suits you?’

  ‘Of course.’ I grinned at her. ‘But don’t worry, I’m being won over. In fact, if you ask him, I’ve already advised him that the way to Dad’s heart is through a golf swing that’s slightly less efficient than his.’

  Ellie laughed at that. ‘I know; he told me. He’s even going to give it a try this afternoon.’

  ‘That’s good; I brought a spare set just in case. He can buy himself a pair of golf shoes in the pro shop.’

  ‘You underestimate your future brother-in-law.’

  ‘My what?’

  She went a very un-Ellie-like pink at her slip. ‘You heard. But shut up about it until he’s spoken to Dad and to you, and I’ve spoken to the boys.’

  ‘That’s why Susie set us up to have lunch on Tuesday?’

  ‘Exactly. You see, bro, your women have still got your number. . even the one who’s not here right now. Anyway, as I was saying, you’re selling Harvey short. He and Jonny went out this morning, early, and came back with a pair of Footjoy shoes, and a Gore-Tex rain-suit, and last but not least a set of Taylor-made clubs, and a big bag.’

  ‘Balls,’ I said.

  ‘It is not! It’s true.’

  ‘Did he buy himself any golf balls, Ellen?’ I asked her patiently. ‘The rest is useless without them.’

  I glanced across at my nephew; I had raised my voice so he could hear me. ‘Titleist Pr
o V1, Uncle Oz,’ he said, with a grin. ‘Two dozen.’

  ‘Let’s hope that’s enough.’ Jonny had done the pro a favour in his advice. The gear Ellie had described must have cost Harvey a right few hundred quid; I found myself hoping for the kid’s sake that he didn’t turn out to be a no-hoper.

  As it turned out, I needn’t have worried. I’d booked a four-ball on the Queen’s Course, the shortest of the three eighteen-holers, for two thirty. That allowed half an hour after lunch for me to take Harvey into the practice net and show him how to swing, not the full John Daly grip-it-and-rip-it style, but something nice and simple with a short backswing. He seemed to have a natural eye for the ball, for after a few awkward swipes, he was soon able to clip it pretty straight with the four clubs that I advised him to use out of his very expensive full set.

  I paired him with Jonny on the course, and I took Colin as my partner. Since he’s only a wee lad yet, I told him he could drive off the ladies’ tees. Mistake, Uncle Oz: the look he gave me would have done credit to his mother. (To emphasise his point, the tee-shot he hit off the first would have done credit to his grandfather.)

  Harvey was nervous, when it came to his turn, but I told him to try to imagine that he was in the High Court, pleading before Lord Emslie. That seemed to settle him down, for he plonked one up the middle, around ten yards short of Colin’s ball.

  We didn’t keep score. . it wouldn’t have been fair. . but under Jonny’s guidance Harvey did okay. I could tell he was concentrating: the Queen’s, like all the Gleneagles courses, is one of the most beautiful in the world, but he didn’t even notice the scenery. He was surprised when I shook his hand after we had holed our putts on the eighteenth, and even more so when Jonny and Colin did too. Like the rest of the game, that piece of etiquette was new to him.

  ‘Did you enjoy that?’ I asked him, as we walked back to the clubhouse.

  ‘I have to admit that I did, very much. Do you think I’m ready to play with your father yet?’

  ‘Have a few more rounds with the boys, and a couple of lessons from a good teaching pro. Then he should be able to take money off you honourably, which is all he’ll expect of you.’

  ‘That takes me back to my early years at the Bar.’ That was the first piece of humour I ever heard him try. ‘Are we still having lunch on Tuesday?’ he asked me, as the boys walked on ahead.

  ‘Let’s keep our options open on that one,’ I replied, ‘till we see how Prim’s business develops. But for the avoidance of doubt, I wish you and my sister all the best, and I hope you’ll be very happy together. I have to say, for the sake of formality, that if you mess her about then, judge or not, I will kill you without hesitation, but I don’t think there’s a cat’s chance in hell of that. Welcome to our crazy family.’

  I stopped as we entered the hotel, and made a slight detour into the office area. I’m quite well known there, so just before lunch I’d taken advantage of the fact by asking if they could check something out for me. One of the booking staff knew Prim by sight too, and remembered her meeting up with an American guest.

  The woman was waiting for me, looking pleased with herself. ‘I’ve run that check you asked for, Mr Blackstone. The gentleman you mentioned did indeed register under the name Paul Wallinger. He booked a three-night dinner-bed-and-breakfast package …’

  ‘Any golf included?’

  ‘No, just accommodation and evening meal; he settled his bill with cash.’

  ‘What, like ordinary folding money, the kind people hardly ever use here?’

  ‘It is unusual, I agree.’

  I thanked her and gave her some currency for her trouble, then rejoined the guys.

  We found Ellie, Susie and the kids in the coffee lounge. When she saw how sun-flushed and contented her new man looked, my sister smiled with sheer delight, and that pleased me. I ordered three pints of beer shandy, and a Coke for Colin; if the waiter wondered whether or not Jonny was eighteen, he didn’t worry enough to ask, so I didn’t enlighten him.

  I was able to keep an eye on the entrance from my seat. About ten minutes after our drinks had been served, I saw David Phillips’s old Rover pull up on the driveway. Polite-ness, nothing else, made me go to greet them, although I didn’t expect him to wait. I saw Prim lean forward from the back seat to kiss his cheek, and say her goodbyes to her mother; then she got out. Elanore turned to look back at her as Dave drove off. I was shocked to see that she was wearing a wig. ‘Your mum,’ I said. It was a question.

  ‘Her cancer’s back, Oz. It’s in her lymphatic system. They’re giving her chemo down at the Western General in Edinburgh, but the prognosis isn’t too good. That’s why I didn’t say anything about Tom when I was here before.’

  ‘Maybe I was an idiot for making you do it today, then.’

  ‘No, you were right. She was blazing mad that I hadn’t told her as soon as he was conceived. Now I feel guilty as hell, for the chances are that she’ll never get to see him.’

  She looked positively mournful, so I put a hand on her shoulder. ‘She will, kid. I promise you that; she will.’

  ‘But how, Oz? Tom’s on the other side of the Atlantic, and for all the things that Harvey and Greg are going to do in court, they’re not much use if we can’t find him.’

  ‘Didn’t you hear me, girl? I made you a blood oath there. You came to me for help before anyone else. I’m touched by that, and I’m not going to let you down. Elanore will get to hold her grandson.’

  Chapter 12

  On the way home, I told Susie what had happened in the meeting with Harvey, and that Prim was going to have to fly down to London next day to pick up some papers. ‘If you fancy chumming her for the trip,’ I said, ‘I’ll stay with the kids, since it’s Ethel’s weekend off.’

  ‘Nice thought, darling, but I find London unbearably stuffy at this time of year. You’re right, though; she should have company. You go with her.’

  I wished that I’d kept my mouth shut. I didn’t fancy spending my Sunday on the bloody shuttle. ‘We could always send Conrad.’

  ‘They’ve gone to Arran for the weekend, remember. They won’t be back till tomorrow night. No, that’s settled; you’re going.’ I waited for Prim to protest that she could handle it on her own, but she just sat there and said nothing.

  As Susie said, it was settled. I booked us on to the nine o’clock flight to London next morning, returning late afternoon. I didn’t say much on the drive to the airport; I never do, but Prim took it the wrong way.

  ‘Oz, I’m sorry,’ she said, as we drove east along the motorway. ‘You don’t really want to be doing this, do you? I’ve mucked up your life again with my troubles.’

  ‘Enough of that,’ I told her. ‘If that was true, I wouldn’t be here. You’d be in a taxi with a one-way ticket in your pocket.’

  The flight to London was as quiet as I’d expected it to be; there was nobody within three rows of us. I declined British Airways’ offer of breakfast, and settled instead for pretending to sleep. It didn’t fool Prim, though; we’ve lived together for a good chunk of the last decade, so she knows the real thing when she sees … and hears … it.

  We were over the Solway Firth when I felt a small sharp elbow in my ribs. ‘Why do you think he did it?’ she asked me, quietly.

  ‘For money. He’s a professional fraudster.’

  ‘You don’t think he might have loved me at the start?’

  ‘Did he make you believe that he did?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Did you make yourself believe that you loved him?’

  There was a long silence. ‘Honestly? No.’

  ‘Not ever?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Not even when you were carrying his child?’

  ‘Not even then.’

  Then I asked a very stupid question. ‘How about me?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Did you ever make yourself believe you loved me?’

  ‘I didn’t have to.’

  ‘I wa
sn’t worth the effort, I suppose.’

  ‘No, you idiot. I didn’t have to make myself believe it, because I did love you. From the moment I set eyes on you, in fact.’

  For a few seconds I was speechless. Until that moment, I’d managed to persuade myself that our relationship had been based on pure lust and self-interest. Of course we’d said the three words to each other, in the early stages, but I’d said them before and not meant them, and she had too.

  I decided against stupid question number two.

  Instead I asked, ‘So how can you look at Susie and me, far less be with us?’

  ‘Because I’m a realist. I know that you never really loved me, and I know that I was as much to blame for our breakup as you were. Don’t worry, I don’t harbour any secret dreams of winning you back. I look at you with Susie, and I see how much you’ve changed. I watched you with your family yesterday. Your dad used to be its bedrock, but now you are.’ That made me sit up, since Ellie had said much the same thing the day before. ‘You used to be a taker, Oz,’ she went on. ‘With me, even with Jan, you were a taker. Now you’re a giver, not because you’re rich and famous, but because you’ve realised what you were and become a different person.’

  ‘If that pleases you,’ I told her, ‘you’ve got Susie to thank for it.’

  ‘Even though she took you from me?’

  ‘Well, maybe “thank” is the wrong word. But it’s true: it was Susie who made me look at myself through someone else’s eyes, and see what they saw. When I did, I didn’t like me very much. I was a very confused guy for a while. For the record, Susie never tried to take me from you. After that happened, even when I knew she was pregnant, I thought that staying with you, trying to make our marriage work, was the right thing to do, and Susie didn’t fight against that. But with me filming in Toronto, and you in LA, at the time when we needed to be together, it didn’t have a chance; not to mention the fact that you were screwing Nicky Johnson on the side.’