Losing You: a prequel to It's Not Over

by Melissa M. Marlow

  “NO!”

  “I don’t mind. So far I’ve had breakfast every day that you’ve been here.”

  Finding his logic humorous I sighed, “But you had to study in your room.”

  With all joking aside he asked, “Are you happy here?” Not waiting for my response he continued, “Paul is happier with you here.”

  Not answer him the pain shot through my heart knowing I would be leaving soon and it’s going to hurt him again. My stomach turned. I avoided answering him by finishing the pancakes on the stove, washing a few things in the sink, setting a plate in front of Paul. Then I escaped to the bathroom for a shower.

  Paul

  “Jess, aren’t you eating?”

  She yelled no from the other room. Matt avoided my questioning glance so I asked, “Did something happen, that I don’t know about, that would piss her off?”

  With eyes filled with apology Matt caved, “I asked her if she was moving in here. We were joking about her making breakfast. I like her here and I told her you are happy too.” He leaned over the table towards me and lowered his voice, “It’s like I pissed her off or something. Her mood changed in an instant and she got all quiet. Maybe I hurt her, but I didn’t mean to upset her.”

  That’s how it went with her. One minute playful and fun and the next she’d put up a brick wall. We had to be more careful around her. Leaning forward I filled him in, “She says she has to do something and she won’t tell me what it is she’s doing, but my intuition tells me she is leaving.”

  “Well, we all are. School is almost done.”

  “No, it’s more like she is leaving for the summer, but she won’t talk to me about it and she gets sad and defensive whenever I ask about her plans.”

  “I’m sorry, Paul. I just wanted her to know that I like her being here too.”

  He liked her here for one reason, “Yeah, you like being fed.”

  “Dam right.”

  “Dam right, what?”

  When I glanced back up at her she tapped her foot and put her hands on her hips. She’s adorable when she is angry. We didn’t help the situation because we both cracked up laughing. Matt stood up and put his plate in the sink and jogged toward her, “Dam right I like when you’re here with us. You both cook and feed me. What is there not to like about that.” He passed her smiling, “My turn in the shower.”

  She watched him go in his room smiling. Her gaze came back to me questioning, “That’s it?”

  My voice hinted at laughter with my reply, “Yeah. He likes a full stomach.”

  She walked over to me and knelt on the chair across from me. She was smiling so she didn’t stay mad for long. I grinned at her waiting for her to say something as I ate. I took a huge bite, but couldn’t wipe the grin from my face as she stared at me.

  “Do you want milk?”

  She was going to wait on me so of course I agreed that I wanted a glass of milk. I eyed her getting up and getting me a full glass of milk. When she walked over to me and sat on the table she pushed my plate out of the way. This new forward girl sitting on the table made my groin pulse, “I guess I am done?”

  She grinned handing me the glass of milk and scooted in front of me. I drank the glass of milk keeping my eyes on her, but traced my hand up her thigh.

  Fingers traced through my hair. My eyes locked on hers to see what she’s going to do. With her you had to expect the unexpected. Her face grew to a mischievous grin and then a full smile. She huffed with a little laugh as her eyes sparkled, and then she asked, “Do you want to skip and spend the day with me?”

  Who wouldn’t want to do that, “Yes.”

  She was giddy, but it hit me like a brick wall and I cringed as I continued, “Shit, I can’t, not today. Can we do it tomorrow and make it a long weekend?”

  Her smiled disappeared a lot faster than it had grown, “I can’t. Not tomorrow.”

  She started to move away from me. I gripped her arm, “Just a minute, Jess, we can come up with something. Give me a minute to think about this.”

  She did stop moving away from me, but if I didn’t come up with a great idea she would think something else came before her. It wasn’t like that for me not any more. I just had things that needed to be done on someone else’s time line. It’s not a question of what I wanted to do. It’s about what I had to do or I’d have done everything to fit around her, “Jess, stay here a minute. I am going to grab my schedule; I just need to look at one thing.”

  When her lip came out my knees went week. Pressing her against the table, “Stay here I just need one minute.”

  Blinking away the tears that already started to well in her eyes she nodded. Darting to the bed room I collided with the chair stubbing my toe, yelled and danced off into my bedroom. In the other room I could hear her giggle. With a limp I hobbled back to the kitchen where she sat waiting with her hand over her mouth and eyes wide with surprise.

  Her words came out muffled as she asked, “Are you alright?”

  Sitting down in front of her I set my schedule in her lap, but glanced up at those wide questioning eyes. “Yeah, I’m alright.” Grasping her legs I pulled her feet to rest on my thighs. Concentrating on the schedule I ran my finger down reading each entry. Her toes gripped at my legs distracting me. I peeked up at her grinning. She has no idea how bad I wanted to toss my schedule to the floor, lean her back on this table and finish my breakfast; Jessica with a cherry on top. Shaking off the temptation my eyes scanned the schedule again finding what I was looking for, one test in my 10 am class. Weighing my options, stay here with Jess or take a test. Regretting my discussion before I even mentioned it I took a deep calming breath. Not wanting to see the disappointment in her face, I confirmed, “I just have to go to my 10 am class.” As tone as she is her leg muscles flared a gut sensation told me she didn’t like my answer. Gripping her thighs once more I pulled myself between her legs. The scent of the sweetness that lingered between them gave me a full hard-on. If I didn’t move soon I’d be toast. My eyes began to water from the pain of need. Taking a chance I peeked up at her, “Please tell me that’s okay.”

  The smile crept back along with the pout. I couldn’t help myself but chuckle a little she’s so adorable.

  My breath caught when she asked, “Should I go to my morning classes then?”

  I shrugged my shoulders, “I guess whatever you want to do. We could meet for lunch and then what ever you want to do.”

  She took my schedule away setting it down on the table. She scooted forward and ran her hand through my hair pulling my head back, “I have issues with asking you to promise me something.”

  I didn’t know how to take that and I didn’t know what to say. She moved her feet off of me and slid down to my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and tucked her face into my neck whispering, “If I am going to class you need to get ready.”

  I picked her up as I stood and headed to the bathroom. She moved her face so I could see her smile. Resting my forehead to hers, “If I am going to get ready either you have to let me go, or you are coming into the shower with me.”

  She let go but I didn’t. I’d be happy to have her company in the shower. Reaching for those sweet tasting lips I moaned while I nibbled them. Her hesitation as I let her go she inquired, “Why do you do that?”

  With raised eyebrows, “Because you’re sweet.”

  She glared at me and let go running into my room. I watched her grab something from her bag and put something on her lips on her way back to me, “Like this.” She kissed me with her whole mouth as I licked her lips, but I shook my head. She released me confused, “That’s not it?”

  I shook my head and tipped her back sucking her neck and kissed her up to ear, “That’s it. You entice me, your sweetness.”

  She giggled and pushed me away, “Go take a shower, and hurry. If I am going be on time for class we have to hurry.”

  I laughed and kissed her and then went into the bathroom. My mind drifted to her over and over again in
the shower; the little pout, the taste of her lips, and the pulse in her neck. I had to shutter to shake off what I wanted to do to her. It didn’t work because I thought about her legs and running my hands along them, tasting her stomach as I kissed her. Okay, she’s definitely a woman now, so why are we waiting? Oh, that’s right, I want her to marry me and I promised not to do that until she agreed to it.

  We were heading to class and I pulled her to a stop outside the room, “I will see you in a few hours. Will you meet me at my truck?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “You have to pick me up like a date.”

  “From where?”

  “My dorm room, and don’t be late or I might not be there.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Don’t test me.”

  She walked away from me and leaning forward I almost fell over my own feet. She knew how to drive me crazy.

  When I finished my class, I ran the whole way to the dorm and up the stairs to her door. I knocked and one of her roommates answered, “Jess, please.” I huffed and gasped for air. She came to the door with another bag full of stuff, “Why are you panting like a dog?”

  “I didn’t want to be late.”

  She laughed, grabbed my shirt, and started walking pulling me behind her. We ran into Kevin, the security guy, on our way out. “Hey, how’s it going with you two?”

  Jess turned to me and gave me that disapproving look.

  “Jess, he kept me from camping out 24/7 at your door.”

  She turned back to him, “Thank you. He is a little obsessive.”

  Kevin laughed as she pulled me out the door. I wrapped my arms around her waist and picked her up twirling her around, “So what are we doing?”

  “You said we’re going to have lunch.”

  “Okay, we’ll have lunch. What do you want?”

  She grinned at me crawling in the truck. She was going to drive me insane with her facial expressions. I had to shake it off once again and move on with our day.

  We stopped after lunch and picked up movies and snacks. Next we headed to my apartment for a day of cuddling, movies, and whatever else we come up with. I hoped for the last. She’s so playful watching the movies and eating our snacks. She tried to throw M&M’s in my mouth. I fed her cotton candy on my fingers. We cuddled and had chips with dip together. She moved around a lot so I just observed her as she did different things. When she lay down on the opposite side of the couch I took her feet in my hands and started to message them. Touching any part of her pleased me. She leaned back closing her eyes and we heard Matt coming in the door. He took one glance at the room with disgust, “You two are cleaning the apartment.”

  Choking out a laugh, because I did all the cleaning anyway, I rolled my eyes. Not giving us any more thought he went to his room mumbling.

  Jess asked, “Do you think he is irritated?”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  Leaning over the back of the couch to see that sexy little body make its way to Matt’s room, I ached with need. After she knocked and he opened the door she dragged him back to the living room, “You my friend, need relax time.”

  Enjoying the view of her I waited to experience her next move. Pushing him to sit on the couch she held up an M&M

  Matt quickly turned to me with a questioning stare. I shrugged as one came at his face ricocheting off his face. In her scolding voice to demanded, “Matt, you’re supposed to catch it in your mouth.”

  He was shaking his head as she threw another one at him. I stood up and grabbed a handful. Tossing one at him made him yelled at us to stop.

  “Jess, show him how to do it.” When I tossed one up she caught it in her mouth with ease. His eagerness to be part of our little playtime he caught one in his mouth. We ended up feeding him everything trying to get him to catch it with his mouth. After pelting Matt over and over with M&M’s we settled down for a few games of Rummy. As the night crept upon us Matt migrated back to his room leaving us alone again.

  Being alone with Jess happened to be my treat for putting her first on my list. We sat down to enjoy another movie as I put my head in her lap to be as close to her as possible. Not that the movie’s bad, but I am with Jess and all I wanted to do is take in every second I can. Delicate fingers ran through my hair relaxing me to light nap. When the touch didn’t fill my needs any longer I curled into her more to take in her scent of sweet vanilla, with a touch of spice. The sensation didn’t resemble anything that I could remember, but my mouth watered anyway. Tugging her tank top up just a tad so that when my mouth made contact with her skin I could savor what lingered for hours. Her fingers tightening in my hair made me aware of her tense body. Nuzzling to her core I traced her stomach with my face making her body ridged. Could she be nervous to let me touch her this way? She pushed me trying to get out from under me. Pressing her back down I crawled over her pinning her to the couch. Seducing her into telling me what she had to do might just work. She wanted me now, and wanted me badly, I could sense the need in her body.

  Staring into those beautiful green eyes I traced my fingers along her cheek, “Are you going to tell me what you have to do?”

  While pushing to get away from me she scolded, “Do you want to make me sad?”

  Not wanting this to end I held her tighter preventing her from moving, “I just want to experience everything about you, baby.”

  “Yeah, and baby?” Her eyes pierced into mine with anger, but had stopped pushing away from me. Moving to my side letting her keep her secret I took what she would give me. I kissed her cheek, pulled her hand to my mouth to kiss that too. We spent the rest of the night, and most of the next day on the couch touching each other tenderly.

  Friday I wanted to take her out, but she wanted to stay at the apartment. Matt was going on a date so we stayed home. She explained that she wanted to spend quality time with me and nothing else matter but the time we were getting together. Sunday night my body hurt with need, and from lying around doing hardly anything. A long shower to wash away my need is what I needed the most, but caved to her going first.

  Like we had been doing this all our lives we seemed to move in unison. She went to the shower first while I picked up the living room, which took her forever. After my shower I noticed things were put away, but the best part of all Jess laid in my bed waiting for me. If that didn’t make a man’s dick hard I don’t know what would. Avoiding giving her a full view of my needs I turned away from her to get dressed in boxers.

  Crawling into bed next to her, “Jess, are you sleeping.”

  She turned and cuddled into me, “What do you think?”

  Her leg slid between mine and traced upward. I gripped her thigh holding her from the surprise that waited if she went any further up, “No, you’re not sleeping.”

  She rolled her eyes, “No! My legs are smooth, and silky.”

  This woman had no idea what she did to me all the time. I reached down pulling her leg to avoid my growing hard-on. My hand trailed along the softness of the now shaved legs, which caused a twitch in my groin. This put a smile on my face, “Very nice.”

  She took my hand and pulled it further up her leg.

  This is her way of begging for it, “Jess?”

  She grinned and nodded.

  I glided my hand further to her as she moved closer to me. My heart was racing. How could I do this when it meant so much more to me than what it would be if we did it now? I love her too much.

  Restraining her, hovering over her, and holding her down. My erection zeroing in on the warmth of her sweet spot I pleaded, “Jess, if we are going to do this I have conditions.”

  With a grin she replied, “I knew that was coming.” She nibbled on my lip, “Please don’t ask me what I have to do. It will ruin my mood.”

  Now throbbing with need I shook my head.

  Untrusting she urged, “What do you want, then?”

  “You.”

  Not getting it at all she questioned, “You said co
nditions?”

  “Yes. Not tonight. Not for our first time together.”

  She was skeptical, “What are you thinking?”

  I rolled to my back pulling her along with me. Raising both my hands to cup her face and stare into those eyes. She needed to understand what I wanted, “You are special, Jess.”

  Searching my face for understanding she waited for me to explain.

  “I want our night to be as special as you are to me. Remember the night we planned to meet at the cabin?”

  I could see the sadness coming to her face.

  “You were planning on making love to me. I promised your dad that you would have to say you’d marry me. All those times when I stayed away when I should have given into your needs… I wanted to keep my word, but I also wanted to keep you. I want to make it up to you. I want to make it special, a night to remember for the rest of our lives.”

  Tears had welled up so much that one dropped out landing on my nose. So far so good now the next part, “After school is done I will get the cabin ready and we’ll continue that night.”

  She shook her head and traced her mouth along my chin, “Sooner.”

  Not the reply I expected, “How soon?”

  The grin on her lips pressed against mine as her teeth nibbled, “Now would work.”

  I shook my head and held her face to mine looking deep in her eyes, “Your two week vacation this summer.”

  Eyes glaring, another response I didn’t expect, “Okay, fine.” She kissed my lips quickly and rolled away from me.

  Shit, it didn’t work. She’s supposed to tell me what she was up to, because this would interfere with what she had to do. She’s not supposed to be okay with it. I traced my hand down her arm, “Jess?”

  “No, you have your stipulations.”

  I traced my mouth along her shoulder, “Jess, be realistic… when?”

  She turned to me and nuzzled in, “Can it be soon, please.”