“Um, yeah. Come in.” I opened the door wide and stepped back to let the ‘intruder’ in.
“You must be Abby. Kellan talks about you all the time. I’m Kelly.”
Kellan and Kelly, how cute, I thought. “Yes, I’m Abby. It’s nice to meet you. He’ll be right out, he’s taking a shower.”
“Oh, okay. So, what grade are you in, fifth or sixth?”
“I’m in seventh grade!” I snapped. I was short for my age. I was 12 years old and I hadn’t even reached five foot. I looked up at the girl Kellan so obviously liked and wondered what he saw in her. She was pretty, I guess. She was tall and thin, but I didn’t see what was so special about her. I was also angry that she thought I was a kid, so I wasn’t about to give her a second chance, or actually even consider liking her.
“Hi,” Kellan smiled from the doorway.
“Hi,” she smiled back. Ugh! They were looking at each other funny and as I watched Kellan, I realized his eyes kept lowering to her chest, but when she looked over at him, he’d look back up into her eyes.
I couldn’t believe he was staring at her boobs. I didn’t understand his fascination. They sat on the couch and talked for a while. Kellan kept asking me to leave, but I kept finding excuses to stay. For some reason, I didn’t want to leave them alone.
“Why don’t you go finish your homework?” Kellan asked.
“I can’t do it without your help. It’s okay, I’ll wait until she’s gone.” I couldn’t stop myself, and before I knew it, I spouted off, “Or at least until her boobs are gone!”
Kellan hadn’t raised his voice at me even once since our truce, but I think I pushed him over the edge, because suddenly he had that familiar black-ash glare to his baby blue eyes and he said, “We’re leaving! You’re on your own for your homework now!” He put his arm around the girl and walked her out the door. I ran to the window and watched as he opened her car door and then leaned over and kissed her. I thought that would be the end of it, that she’d just step into her car and they’d drive off, but she had other ideas. She pulled him back to her and kissed him…and for a long time. I always thought kissing was gross, but I found that I couldn’t turn away. I didn’t like her kissing him, and for the life of me, I didn’t know why.
I watched them until they drove away and then I went back to the kitchen table and sat down to try and finish my homework. I was still working on math, but every time I closed my eyes to imagine the problem in my head like Kellan had told me, all I could see was him kissing her and I found myself ripping up my homework and throwing it across the room. I plopped down in the chair in front of the window to wait for Kellan’s return.
True to his word, he made it back before Nancy or Joe got home from work. She came inside with him and they stood in the doorway and talked for a few minutes.
“I had fun. Thanks for the movie,” the intruder said, batting her big brown eyes at him.
“Me too. Thanks for the ride,” he smiled at her and then bent down to kiss her again.
“Yuck!” I said from the edge of the living room, unable to stop myself.
Kellan turned and glared at me and said, “Don’t you have something to do?”
Afraid to make him really angry and ruin our truce, I didn’t say anything. I just rolled my eyes and walked down the hall. I stopped just a few feet down the hall and listened to their conversation:
“So, is she like your little sister, or what? I mean I know you’re not related by blood, but are you siblings?”
“No, she’s a foster kid, like me. She’s been here since she was eight, poor kid. She still has over five years left here in this hell-hole. I feel sorry for her.”
“She’s really twelve? Wow. I thought she was more like ten. I guess she still has time to grow.”
I listened intently, getting angrier by the second. He only felt sorry for me, he didn’t care about me. It was all a lie! I was heartbroken. I didn’t want to hear any more so I ran to my room and slammed the door.
“Well, I should probably go. I don’t want you to get into trouble with your foster parents,” Kelly said, leaning up for another kiss.
“I don’t care about them. I only have one more year and I’m out of here…if not sooner.”
“You could leave when you graduate,” Kelly said.
“Yeah, I could. But, I’m worried about Abby. She has no one. She has no friends and I’m pretty sure she’s picked on at school. She’s a great kid. She’s smart and funny and full of life. But, she thinks she’s stupid and weird. I hate to think about what’s going to happen to her when I leave,” he said sadly.
“She’s not your responsibility. I mean, she’s just a kid.”
Kellan looked down at her and said, “I know, but I’m all she has.”
“You have your own life to think about. She’ll be fine. Forget about her!” she snapped and leaned up for another kiss.
Kellan pulled away and said, “Hey, we may not be blood siblings, but she’s important to me. I’m not going to just forget about her. Maybe you should go.”
“I didn’t mean…look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend your little friend. I just meant that you’re only 16, she’s not your responsibility.”
“Yeah, she kind of is. See you at school…maybe,” he said and stepped back in the house, leaving her wanting another kiss.
An hour later, we all sat down to takeout Chinese food that Joe brought home. I hated Chinese food; too many vegetables and salty sauces. But, at least we were eating a real meal.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Nancy asked me.
“I’m not hungry,” I said, still feeling the sting of Kellan’s’ deception.
“You’ll eat what we serve you. Besides, all these veggies may help you grow a bit. You’re skinny and gangly! You need to eat!” Nancy said, filling my plate full of vegetables.
“I’m not skinny or gangly! I’m thin! But, all the vegetables in the world won’t make me grow boobs like Kelly!” I shouted and started to head to my room.
“Sit down! What are you talking about?” Nancy asked.
I glared at Kellan and he sat there stunned, not saying anything.
“Who’s Kelly?” Joe asked.
Kellan was looking at me strangely, but didn’t say anything. I wanted to get him in trouble, I did, but as I looked into his blue eyes, I knew, that no matter how he felt about me, I still cared about him. “She’s a girl from school,” I said softly and sat back down and picked up my fork to force down a few bites.
Later that night, there was a knock on my door, “Abby, can I come in, please?”
I didn’t want to see him, but I knew he wouldn’t quit, so I invited him in.
“What’s the matter with you? Why are you so pissed at me?” he asked.
“I’m not mad at you,” I snapped.
“You could have fooled me. You hardly said two words at dinner, and then you brought up Kelly, why?”
“Because…”
“Because, why?” he asked, sitting down next to me on my bed.
I looked up at him and wanted to be angry, but I just couldn’t. He was so nice to me…but then I remembered again what he said earlier to Kelly, so I snapped, “Because you don’t really care about me, you only feel sorry for me.”
“What?”
“I heard you tell Kelly that you feel sorry for me…well don’t! I’m fine.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, I do feel bad that you’re stuck here, but I care about you. I do,” he said, looking down at me.
“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty. You don’t have to pretend to like me anymore.” I was hurt and I couldn’t stop a tear from gliding down my cheek.
Kellan put his arm around me and pulled me to him. He hugged me and said, “I do like you, you have to know that. Abby, we’re friends, and we always will be.”
“You’re just saying that to ease your guilt.” I was unusually emotional and I had no clue as to why. All I knew was that I felt like I had
lost my only friend.
He lifted my face up to look at him, “No, that’s not true. We are friends, Abby. And, no matter where I go, I’ll always come back to see you. And, I’ll always make sure you can get in touch with me, too. I’m sorry you heard me say that. I wished you’d stuck around to hear me say the rest.”
“What rest?” I asked, sniffling.
“The part where I sent Kelly home because she made me mad; the part where I told her that you were always going to be important to me; and the part where I basically broke up with her.”
“You said those things, really?” I said.
“Yep.”
“You broke up with her?”
“Well, I told her I’d see her at school, maybe, but I have no intention of seeing her there or anywhere else. Whatever girl I date is going to have to be nice to my kid sister,” he grinned.
“I’m not a kid, and I’m not your sister. You said so yourself.”
“Yeah, but I was pissed off then. I didn’t want to be here. I’m tired of foster homes, Abby. I’ve been in and out of them all my life. This is the longest I’ve ever stayed at one home. Do you know why?”
“No,” I said.
“Because I care about you. The Filbert’s aren’t good people, Abby. I don’t want you to forget that when I’m gone. Don’t trust them, okay?”
“I don’t.”
“Okay, good. I’m going to bed. See you in the morning. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I said, but then wanted to know something, “Kellan?”
“What?”
“Did you like…I mean, um? Never mind.”
“Did I like what?” he asked, turning back to face me.
I could feel my face turning red, so I said, “Nothing. Goodnight.”
“Oh, no. I’m not letting you off the hook that easy. Did I like what?” he asked.
I was completely embarrassed now, and I couldn’t look at him. Instead, I stared down at the old, ugly shag carpet in my room and whispered, “Did you like…kissing her?”
“Yeah, until she pissed me off. Why?”
“No reason. Goodnight.”
He started back toward the door and said, “Abby, is someone bothering you at school?”
“Bothering me?”
“Yeah, you know…some guy?”
“Huh?”
“Are any of the boys at school…pressuring you? If they are, you just tell me. I’ll take care of it.”
“Pressuring me, to do what?” I asked, naively.
He sighed and said, “Um, has Nancy ever talked to you about…?”
“About what?”
“About, um…boys? Or, more importantly, what boys want…from girls?” He was looking down at the old shag carpet now.
“No. What do boys want from girls?” I asked.
“I don’t really think I’m the right one to talk to you about this.”
“About what?”
“About…” he sighed again and said, “Don’t you at least talk to your friends at school about boys?”
“In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not real popular. I don’t have any friends at school.”
“I don’t believe that. There has to be someone you can confide in?”
“Well, Tyler’s nice to me. I guess he’s kind of like my only friend, besides you, I mean.”
“Tyler’s a guy, though, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You need to talk to a girl…or a woman…about…”
“About what?” I asked, getting tired of the game now.
“Boys.”
“You’re a boy. So, what do you want from girls? Solve the big mystery for me.”
“I um, I really can’t talk to you about this. How about your school nurse, can you talk to her about it?”
“About what?” I finally shouted.
“Just be careful, okay?” He stood up to leave. “If a boy wants something from you…you know, that you’re not ready to give…tell me, okay? I’ll take care of it.”
“I don’t have anything to give to a boy,” I said, still completely clueless about what he was talking about.
He looked at me and said, “Yes, you do. You’re beautiful, whether you believe it or not, and in a few years, boys are going to want…oh, just promise me you’ll be careful. Tell me if someone’s bothering you. Okay?”
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He sighed and said, “Sex. I’m talking about sex.”
I blushed and looked away. I had heard the word and I knew it involved a man and a woman, but I had no idea what the actual act entailed.
“I told you, I’m not the right one to talk to you about this. But, you need to talk to someone. Didn’t you learn about it in health class?”
“Nancy signed me out of health class. She said I didn’t need it.”
He rolled his eyes and said, “That figures. But, you need to talk to someone, before you find yourself in a situation you can’t handle.”
“What does that mean?”
“Trust me; boys are going to be looking at you differently…soon, if they’re not already. So, be careful.”
“Be careful?”
“Yes, around boys.”
“No boys are interested in me…why would they be?”
“You’re a beautiful young girl. They will be interested in you…just trust me, okay?”
I was still confused, but I nodded my head anyway, just so the conversation would end.
I was having trouble at school. I had no friends, but Tyler, to speak of. I hated all of my subjects and I hated struggling through each and every homework assignment. I wanted school to come easy to me, like it did for Kellan, but that just wasn’t going to happen. I had managed to irritate my lab partner numerous times, and he was finally getting sick of me. I wasn’t getting the labs, I was trying…but biology just didn’t come easy for me. One day Kellan picked me up and noticed my lab partner Jerrod and a few of his friends taunting me.
“Stay here for a minute, Abby!” Kellan said and marched over to the boys. He towered over them, and they all cowered. He never raised his voice or his fists, but his look was menacing.
I don’t know what Kellan said to them, but none of them ever bothered me again. I stared at Kellan in awe as each one of them came up to me and apologized, and Jerrod even said he’d help me with my homework, if I needed help.
“Kellan helps me with my homework, but thanks,” I said, smiling up at Kellan, a young man I used to despise, but was growing to love more and more every day.
I DON’T LIKE NEEDLES!
A few weeks later I was cooking dinner and Kellan wanted a salad. I was cutting up a head of lettuce that he bought and sliced my finger open with the very dull knife. I didn’t think too much of it, I just grabbed a paper towel and held pressure to it. We sat down to dinner, just the two of us, as usual, and Kellan noticed blood seeping through my makeshift dressing.
“What did you do?” he asked, grabbing my hand.
“Oh, I just cut my finger, it’s no big deal.”
He carefully un-wrapped the paper towel and said, “You need stitches.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No, it’s deep. Come on, we’re going to the emergency room.”
“I don’t need stitches. Besides, they’re not going to treat me, I’m under-age. I need a parent…or someone like Nancy with me,” I smirked.
“Don’t argue with me, I’ll carry you if I have to.”
I sighed and stood up. I replaced the soaking wet paper towel with a clean, dry one and followed along stoically behind.
Kellan lied, saying he was my older brother and showed them the fake ID he had. They didn’t even question him. They took me back and stitched up my finger.
I wasn’t afraid of hospitals, needles or stitches, but Kellan stood by my side the entire time holding my hand. He kept telling me it was going to be okay, and not to worry. I watched him intently, and it took all my strength to not lau
gh at him. I was fine, but he was growing paler by the minute.
“I’m fine, Kellan. How are you?” I asked when I saw him flinch as the doctor pulled a needle, followed by sutures through my ring finger.
He didn’t say anything, he just stared at the needle. I could tell he was about to pass out, so I said, “Kellan, why don’t you wait for me outside? I’m fine. But, you don’t look so good.”
The doctor looked up at Kellan and said, “Your sister is right, you don’t look like you feel well. Why don’t you sit over there in the corner?” The doctor motioned for his nurse to guide him into the chair across the room.
“I’m fine,” Kellan said, shaking his head and standing up. He hit the floor before the nurse could get to him and the next thing I knew, I was standing by his side while they stitched up the gash on his arm that he managed to land when his arm hit the edge of a metal table with a sharp edge.
He woke up about twenty minutes later, long enough for the doctor to stitch him up without him seeing the needle going through his own skin and losing consciousness again.
“What happened?” he asked.
I wanted to tease him, but I couldn’t go through with it. He had been so sweet and caring to me that I couldn’t bring myself to make fun of him. “You sort of, tripped…and cut your arm. You’re okay, though. You didn’t hit your head hard or anything.”
“I tripped? I don’t remember that.”
I looked up at the doctor for support and he said, “You passed out. In the future, it may be wise to steer clear of medical procedures involving blood and or needles. Your sister’s right about not hitting your head hard, though. I see no signs of concussion. You should be fine. I’ll need to see both of you back here in 7-10 days to remove the stitches.”
I knew Kellan was embarrassed and I felt sorry for him. He was only trying to help me and the doctor didn’t need to be so mean to him. I grabbed Kellan’s hand and said, “Okay, we’ll do that. Thanks,” and I led him out the door.
We walked halfway home in silence until he could no longer stand it. “Did I really pass out?”
“So, you don’t like needles. No one does.”
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