UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES)

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  “May I please have one last kiss? And then I’ll let you go.”

  “What do you mean, you’ll let me go?”

  “I can’t win against him. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, I’ll never be more than the runner up. I’m letting you go, even though it’s going to kill me.”

  “Tyler…please, you’re talking crazy. Nothing’s changed. It’s not a competition. He doesn’t want me.”

  “You’re wrong about that, Abby. I’ve seen how he looks at you now. He may not be ready to admit it, but he loves you.”

  “That’s not true.”

  He ignored me and continued, “And, you’re right, there’s no competition, not anymore. I may have stood a chance before…before he came home and saw what a perfect young woman you’ve grown into. Now he holds all the cards. Hell, he always has.”

  There were tears in his eyes, and as I looked into them, I saw the pain I had seen reflected in my own eyes…the pain I’d feel again in two days. I knew he was right, that I’d never love him like I loved Kellan, but I didn’t want him to suffer that pain, so I reached up and did the only thing I could think of; I kissed him, passionately.

  He pulled back after a few seconds, “Abby…”

  “I’ve never kissed him…not like that, and I never will. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true.”

  “That doesn’t change anything.”

  “He’s not the only man I love, whether you believe it or not.”

  “I know you love me, Abby. But, it’s not enough. Have you thought about me even once since he’s been home?”

  “Of course.”

  “But, you didn’t think to pick up the phone to see if I was alright? Don’t you know how much his being here is killing me?”

  “I’m sorry, Tyler. I guess I didn’t think about how much this would affect you. I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

  “How?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. But I will, somehow.”

  “You said that you love me…”

  “I do.”

  “Then show me. We’ve been dating for a year now. I’ve been patient. Spend your last two days with Kellan, and then, if you really love me, show me. Spend the night with me.”

  “Tyler…” I was scared. I didn’t want to lose Tyler, but I wanted Kellan, more. I loved Tyler, I did. I knew I did; but, not like that. I had dug myself into a hole and I couldn’t think of any other way out, so I finally gave in and whispered, “Okay.”

  “You mean that? You know what I’m asking for, right?”

  “Yes.” I swallowed hard.

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked, after backing me into a corner.

  “No, I’m not sure, but I’ll try. I know you’ve been patient.”

  He kissed me and said, “I love you, Abby. I’ll make sure it’s special, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Um, I know you tell Kellan pretty much everything, but maybe we should keep this between the two of us. I’ve kind of grown fond of my limbs, and I’m pretty sure I know which one he’d start with if he knew,” he grinned for the first time that night.

  “Yeah, okay,” I mumbled, not really listening.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” My head was reeling.

  He sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed, “Abby, you don’t have to do this,” he said, thinking it over. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I had no right to ask you…I was just so jealous. I guess I just needed to know that I’ll be your first…and only. We’ll wait, okay?” he stood up and stroked my cheek.

  I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, I was just offered a reprieve and I blew it: “No, I want to. Really. You’re right, it’s time.”

  “You’re sure about this?” he asked, the light returning to his eyes.

  “Yes, I’m sure…”

  He picked me up and hugged me to him, “Thank you! You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

  Tyler apologized to Kellan and I walked him to the door. He made it a point to kiss me hard in front of Kellan. The point didn’t go unnoticed by either of us. I didn’t have to feel guilty about thinking about Kellan during that kiss, because Tyler was the only one on my mind at that moment. As he pulled me close, I knew that in two days, not only was the love of my life leaving me again, but I was going to have to give my virginity to a man I loved more like a brother. Now that’s irony, I thought.

  SAYING GOODBYE SUCKS!

  It was my last night with Kellan. He was standing right in front of me, and I was already desperately missing him. I told myself to be strong, and to not make his last day at home miserable, but as I looked up into those eyes, I couldn’t stop myself. He pulled me close and held me while I cried.

  “It’s only two months this time, Abby. I promise you that I’ll come home more often, okay?”

  “I know. But, once you get back to all those beautiful women…and your life there, you’ll find excuses not to come home again.”

  “I don’t need any excuses, I want to come home. Besides, I’ll be coming home to the most beautiful woman. There’s nothing to keep me there, Abby. I was lying when I said that. I didn’t know what else to tell you…that night on the phone. I’m sorry. You um, you kind of took me by surprise.”

  “I’ve always loved you. How could you not know that?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t pay close enough attention.”

  He was leaving in less than 24 hours, and I had to know if there was even the slightest chance, “Are you paying attention now?” I asked, looking up at him.

  “Abby, I know you think…”

  “I don’t think anything, Kellan. I may only be 16, but I’m not stupid. I love you…don’t tell me it’s not real.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Promise me that you’ll consider the possibility…of us,” I whispered.

  “Abby, that’s not going to happen.”

  “Why? I see the way you look at me, now. We’re not related…you know that. There’s nothing wrong with us loving each other.”

  “Please don’t do this. It’s my last night here. I don’t want to fight.”

  “I don’t want to fight, either.” I took a deep breath and said, “I want you.”

  “Abby! I just said I don’t want to fight.” He walked away from me.

  “I’m not that little girl anymore, Kellan.”

  “I know that.”

  “I know you do. I’ve seen you watching me. I know you find me attractive. And, I know that you’re everything I want in a man. We belong together, whether you’re ready to admit it, or not.”

  “Stop this.”

  “Why? You’re leaving, and I’m out of time,” I admitted.

  “Out of time for what?”

  “I told you, I want you. I’ve waited for years for you to look at me like you looked at Brianna…like you looked at that first girl you dated, and every other one in between. I know you love me.”

  “Of course I love you, but not like you want me to. I love you like a…”

  “So help me Kellan Reynolds, if you say that you love me like a sister I swear I’m going to punch you in the face. LOOK AT ME! I AM NOT YOUR SISTER!”

  “What about Tyler?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

  “What about him?”

  “He loves you. Don’t you think you owe him…?”

  “Trust me, I know exactly what I owe him. But I don’t want to give that to him.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I closed my eyes and sat down on the couch, trying to hold back the tears. “I want to give it to you.”

  “Give what to me?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I sighed.

  “Abby, what are you talking about? What do you owe him?” he asked, suspiciously.

  I didn’t say anything. I just stared at the floor.

  “Abby, what does he want from you?” he asked, breathing hard.

  I h
ad wanted a small glimmer of hope…something to keep me going until he came back in two months. I knew all was lost, and worse, I knew I’d never have him. I looked up at him slowly and said, “What do you think he wants from me?”

  “Oh God, Abby…please don’t do that!”

  “Why?”

  “I told you, you need to wait for someone special…someone you love.”

  “I love you. But you don’t want me.”

  “Abby, that’s not true…it’s just, it would be wrong for us…It can’t be me.”

  “Then, I don’t have any choice. I already promised him.”

  “UN-PROMISE HIM!”

  “I can’t.”

  “Okay, then promise me that you’ll wait!”

  “Wait for what?”

  “To find the right man…just wait. Please, don’t do this. I’m begging you.”

  I looked up into his pleading eyes and wondered why he cared so much if he didn’t have at least some romantic feelings for me. I stood up, looked him in the eyes and said, “Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll wait until this summer…I’ll wait for you,” I said.

  “That’s not an option.”

  “Then the deals off!”

  “I’m not making any deals with you, Abby. I’m trying to stop you from making a huge mistake.”

  “You told me it wouldn’t be a mistake if I waited for someone I love. I love you…more than anything. I’ll wait, for you, but you have to promise me!” I said, standing there with my arms crossed.

  “I can’t promise you that. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

  “Okay,” I said softly and walked into my bathroom.

  He followed closely behind me, “What does that mean?”

  “It means, okay. I give. You win, I lose, whatever.”

  “So, that means you’re not going to sleep with Tyler?”

  “No, it means I am going to sleep with Tyler.”

  “No, you’re not! You can’t be serious.”

  “I am serious. I told you, I promised him.”

  “That is the most absurd reason I’ve ever heard.”

  “Really? You’re a fine one to talk.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Kellan, just how do you pay your rent these days?” I asked, opening a wound.

  “That’s different!”

  “Really? I don’t see how. Do you love that woman?”

  “I…care for her.”

  “But, you’re sleeping with her…and you don’t love her.”

  “And I’ve told you time and time again not to make the same mistakes I’ve made.”

  “I’m not sleeping with Tyler for room and board!”

  “Then, why are you?”

  “Because I can’t have you,” I said honestly and closed the bathroom door.

  “THIS IS BLACKMAIL!” he shouted through the door.

  “So sue me!” I yelled back and put on one of his oldest and shortest t-shirts.

  Unfortunately, our last night together was spent in a constant battle. Neither side was willing to budge.

  Kellan was still raging the battle on the way to the airport the next afternoon. I, however, was over that particular battle and had moved on to battling tears, tears that were at any given moment, ready to spring forth.

  I had managed to keep my tears at bay until Kellan turned in his rental car and we walked into the airport terminal.

  He checked in and then came back to me to continue his lecture, but stopped when he saw my tears.

  “Abby, I’ll be back in two months. I promise. I swear I’ll never leave you for that long again.”

  “Seven weeks, two days,” I sniffled.

  “What?” he asked, obviously unable to understand me through the torrential downpour of tears.

  “You’ll be back in seven weeks, and two days. That’s fifty-one days.”

  “Okay,” he grinned. “Seven weeks, that’s not so bad.”

  I tried to be brave, and I knew that he’d be back, but I still couldn’t stop the floodgates. He sighed and pulled me to him.

  “It’s okay, Abby. It’s okay. Please don’t cry.”

  “I’m sor…sorry,” I sobbed.

  He put his arm around me and said, “Come on, let’s go get something to drink. I still have an hour before my flight.”

  We walked to one of the coffee shops and after buying us some coffee, he led us to a small table in the back. I was certain he wanted privacy so he could try one last time to talk me out of sleeping with Tyler.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said and walked into the men’s room.

  I took a few deep breaths and dried my eyes, and when I looked up I was expecting to see Kellan standing over me, but was surprised to see a strange man, instead.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine, thanks,” I lied, trying to hold back the tears.

  He sat down next to me and said, “Come on, it can’t be that bad. What could possibly be making those incredibly beautiful eyes so sad?”

  I knew Kellan would be irate to find this man sitting next to me, so I said, “Um, my…boyfriend is in the bathroom,” I lied, but it sounded good to me. “I don’t think he’ll be too happy…”

  It was too late. Kellan was standing over him with a look of fury. “What the hell are you doing? She’s 16 years old!”

  He must have seen the pure look of rage in Kellan’s eyes, because he immediately stood up and apologized to both of us and quickly scurried off.

  “Abby! How many times do I have to tell you to be careful?”

  I sighed, “He just sat down to see if I was okay.”

  “The hell he did! Abby, what do you think he wanted from you?”

  I sighed again and said, “What Tyler wants…what I wish you wanted.” I knew that was only going to spur on his on-going lecture, but I couldn’t help it.

  He sat down next to me and took a deep breath. “We’ve been over this a thousand times.”

  “Good, then we don’t have to go over it again,” I said, and picked up my vanilla latte.

  “Evidently, we do.”

  “Kellan, please stop. You’re not going to change my mind. I told you, I already promised him.”

  “Abby, please don’t go through with this. It’s a mistake…one you can’t take back.”

  “Then make me a better offer.” I said, looking directly into his blue eyes. “Promise me that it’ll be you, and I’ll wait.”

  “You know I can’t do that!”

  “You mean you don’t want to.”

  “No, that’s not…Please, just wait! Think it over.”

  “Wait for what? I did wait, I waited for you. I want you. So, unless you can make me a better offer, then there’s no reason to wait.”

  We argued for another thirty minutes, getting nowhere, and then his flight was called for boarding.

  The tears started again as he hugged me one last time.

  “Abby, please, I’m begging you to wait. Do it for me. Just wait until I come back, please?”

  “I’ll wait for you, but you have to promise me…”

  “I can’t make you that promise. It’s not right,” he continued to argue, knowing he was running out of time.

  “Then there’s nothing left to talk about.”

  We were standing in front of his gate waiting for his row to be boarded. He was obviously very frustrated with me, but not as frustrated as I was. The tears were silent now, and I knew he was desperately trying to not only console me, but talk me out of making what he considered to be a huge mistake.

  We were staring at each other, both wanting something from the other, but knowing neither side was going to give. I started to reach up to hug him one last time, but felt arms wrap around my waist. I jumped, not expecting it.

  “Abby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Tyler said.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, worried that Kellan was going to reach out and strangle him.

  “I thought you might want a r
ide home.”

  “Kellan gave me money for a cab,” I sniffled, unable to control my tears.

  “Yeah, but I thought you might need me.”

  “She’s fine!” Kellan glared at Tyler, obviously working very hard to control his temper and not choke him to death.

  Just then, Kellan’s row was called to board and I grabbed onto him for dear life.

  “Abby, please wait. Do it for me, please?” he whispered in my ear.

  “Promise me it’ll be you, and I will,” I whispered back.

  He pulled back, sighed and said, “I…can’t. Take care of yourself.”

  He walked to the gate and looked back at me as he handed the flight attendant his ticket. The tears were pouring down my face and Tyler took it as his cue to hold me. I was too distraught to fight him, so I clung to him and sobbed, while watching Kellan over his shoulder through wet, swollen eyes.

  The flight attendant was urging Kellan forward after she handed him back his boarding pass, but I watched as he closed his eyes and crushed his boarding pass in his hand and then glared at Tyler.

  “Abby!” he yelled, and ran back toward me.

  I pulled away from Tyler and ran to Kellan, hugging him tight.

  “Okay,” he whispered.

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “I…promise,” he said through clenched teeth.

  “You mean it?” I asked, looking up at him, praying I’d heard him right.

  “I said so, didn’t I? I promise…this summer. Now call him off!” he said, glaring at Tyler.

  “I will! You know I will! I promise. I love you,” I said as I gave him one last quick hug.

  “Sir, they’re not going to hold the flight,” the flight attendant said as they were about to close the doors.

  He ran back toward his gate and stopped at the door, “Seven weeks…”

  “Two days,” I smiled through my tears.

  He barely managed to squeeze through the boarding gate, but he made it and I smiled through my tears as I realized I had won. I ran to the window and whispered, “Seven weeks,” as I watched his plane taxi down the runway and take off. I closed my eyes when I could no longer see the plane, relieved and shocked that I had actually won the battle. I was going to hold him to that promise…no matter what.