A joke about my brother’s head injury is on the tip of my tongue, using that as an excuse as to why my brother likes him so much. Feeling ashamed of myself I shake my head, turning to Max with a smirk gracing my lips.
“Someone needs to,’’ I tease.
“You love me more,’’ he jokes, moving and taking a seat next to Cowen, high fiving him which has become their normal greeting for each other.
“Twin, five, high,’’ Cowen laughs, his eyes shining brightly when he sees Max. My eyes water watching them playfully high five each other, Marybeth shaking her head at their childish antics.
Pulling a chair out, I sit opposite Max, my dad to my right at the head of the table and my mum to my left.
“I love my daughter,’’ Denny shouts as she walks through the back door with an evil grin upon her face.
“What did my girl do?’’ Max chuckles. He really does love his niece. It still surprises me about the way he is around that little girl. It just adds to his hotness in my book. I’m still gutted I missed her birthday party. I was too wrapped up in my own shit, but it’s still no excuse. I felt so ashamed the next day when Joan asked me where I was. I ended up going over to Denny’s to apologise. Even though she waved it away in understanding, guilt still gnaws at me.
“I think…thought Lake w-was your… Um… Your…. Um…. Love?’’ Cowen says, looking frustrated. He gets frustrated a lot but the only time he’s flipped over it is when he wanted ketchup the other night at dinner but couldn’t say that he wanted it. In the end Mum had answered him and just like I predicted he flipped a lid, saying he wasn’t a baby.
“Oh, she is,’’ Denny winks at Cowen, causing him to blush. “We’re talking about my daughter, Hope. She just did a nice big poop for her uncle Evan, my brother.’’
Cowen laughs then falls easily into conversation with Marybeth and Kayla, telling them all about the football game he and Max played the other day.
“Won’t Kennedy just change her?’’ Mason asks, biting his bottom lip. “What if he doesn’t clean her properly and she comes back with a rash?’’
“He has a daughter that he changes daily. I’m pretty sure he knows how to change a nappy, Mason,’’ Denny replies, rolling her eyes. “He lost a bet and has to change nappies for the day as punishment,’’ she grins.
“Unluckyyyyyy,’’ Max hoots, laughing.
“Dinner’s done,’’ Joan announces, moving towards the table with serving dishes full of delicious smelling food. The roast she’s spent the day cooking smells divine and I can’t wait to dig in, my grumbling stomach agrees. How she managed to cook enough to feed fifteen of us is anyone’s guess. Her appliances are only small, yet, somehow she still managed to cook more than enough.
“Do you want any help?’’ I ask, feeling bad that I’ve not offered to help until now.
“Ass licker,’’ Max mutters under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Joan hears him and smacks him lightly across the head. “Harder,’’ he smirks at her, giving her a wink. She just shakes her head and grabs some more dishes.
“No thank you, sweetheart,’’ Joan smiles.
“Lick ass,’’ Cowen chuckles, grinning at me, a look I know all too well crossing his features. I know exactly what he’s thinking about. Call it twin intuition if you like. I glare at him, warning him to keep it shut, but he just chuckles, shaking his head. Thankfully, Marybeth distracts him from saying anything more.
When I was in year nine I basically did everything in my power to get our drama teacher to like me. She’d always get me to do the shitty jobs, ones involving painting, making props or helping backstage. It was so boring. I had to watch paint dry for hours.
It didn’t matter how nice I was to her, how helpful I became, or that I’d bring her treats every drama lesson, she’d still never give me the leading role as Juliet. My frenemy, Alishia Cole, got the leading part all the time, even though she did a terrible job.
With the table buzzing with a million and one conversations, I’m worried no one heard that dinner was ready. It’s only when Joan finally sits down that everyone turns quiet and begins to help themselves to food.
Looking around the table I bite my bottom lip, worried. For some reason the tension in my shoulders has not left me today and I’m beginning to feel uptight about it. It doesn’t help everyone is here, together, for the first time since my family arrived. I’m worried they’re not going to like each other. I don’t think I’d cope if they never got on.
“Please don’t make me say a prayer,’’ Max whines when everyone has their plates nearly piled with food. Confused, I look up, wondering what on earth he’s going on about. Joan has never made anyone say a prayer at dinner before. I should know, I’ve lived here for months and months.
“It would be good for your soul,’’ Joan teases, rolling her eyes at him.
“Are you going to whip me again as punishment if I don’t?” he asks, his bottom lip quivering. He asks the question with such sincerity that I almost believe him.
Cowen’s eyes are wide with fear and Marybeth, bless her heart, looks confused as her eyes bounce back and forth between Max and Joan’s conversation. My parents, however, are shifting uneasily in their seats, looking like they’re ready to run for the hills, grabbing me and Cowen with them.
“He’s joking,’’ I assure them quickly, glaring over at Max, warning him to shut the fuck up.
Max gasps at my spoken words, a fearful expression still on his face as he keeps one eye on Joan. “I do not joke about the whiplashing. I can still hear the sound of the leather whistling through the air, the sound of it hitting my skin. The pain, Jesus, the pain,’’ he shudders, his eyes looking lost for a minute or two like he’s actually reliving the traumatic event. “It’s okay, though. It’s still not as bad as when she made me be a naked slave for the day, all her friends trying to take a turn.’’
“He really is joking,’’ I tell my parents, but don’t focus long enough on them to gauge their reaction. My eyes are completely focused on one subject, Max, wishing I could sew his fucking mouth shut. Why is he doing this right now? He’s behaved as much as Max can all week and I’ve been thankful for it. I don’t want my parents thinking I’ve been living with a crazy person.
“You wound me,’’ he says, sounding genuinely hurt.
“I’ll wound you in a minute if you don’t shut up,’’ I bite out. Images of jumping over the table and wrapping my hands around his throat are running through my mind. And as if reading my thoughts, an amused smirk tugs at his lips, making me growl under my breath.
The table has gone noticeably quiet, however, I’m too pissed to be embarrassed right now. My parents are going to freak out any second. I can see it now. They may be easy going parents but even this is something they wouldn’t expect someone to joke about. They don’t even know Max well enough to know he has an abnormal sense of humour, or that he tends to be over dramatic.
“She got to you didn’t she?’’ he asks me, his voice above a whisper. He looks sad as he moves his food slowly around his plate with his fork, his hands shaking now and again.
“Dick-”
“Language,’’ Mum warns, and I bow my head embarrassed. Max chuckling breaks into the silence. He slowly begins to laugh which causes me to snap my head up. As soon as I do everyone else is joining in with him, laughing their heads off at my reaction.
“You could have kept going for a while longer. She looked ready to smash her plate around your head.’’
My glare turns to Mason, not caring that he’s right and that I was ready to smash a plate around Max’s head. That’s when I realise everyone knew what he was doing, even my parents. I wondered why no one had stepped in to shut him up. Growling under my breath, I narrow my eyes at everyone.
“Not funny,’’ I grumble, my lips twitching.
“We had to do something. You look like you’ve got a stick up your ass,’’ Max says ever-so politely.
“She whips you?’’ Co
wen whispers, moving his chair away from Joan’s general direction.
We all laugh then, the mood light and carefree. Marybeth explains the joke to Cowen but he still keeps one eye trained on Joan, watching for any sudden movements. I swear, every now and then he’ll jump when he see’s Joan move, looking afraid that Joan will grab a whip out of her back pocket and whip his ass. It’s hysterical.
The rest of the dinner is pretty much everyone stuffing their faces and chatting mindlessly about anything and everything. It’s one of the best days of my life.
Everyone is finished when my dad clears his throat. Turning my head I notice he’s shifting uncomfortably in his chair, looking like he’d rather be somewhere else.
“Dad?’’ I call nervously, wondering what’s on his mind.
“We need to talk to you about a few things. We just need you to know it wasn’t our intention to keep anything from you,’’ Dad chokes out, looking to my mum for help.
“Mum?’’ I ask her, my voice pleading. My body heats, trembles raking through my body as I anxiously wait for her to answer. She looks to my dad before looking my way again, her eyes softening when she sees my panic stricken expression.
“What your dad is trying to say is that we were going to tell you. It’s just, we’ve only just got you back. We didn’t want to be a bearer of bad news.’’
“Emma,’’ Cowen blurts out, then looks down at the table shamefully. Marybeth rubs his back affectionately and I sit up straighter in my seat, my eyes watering.
“What about Emma?’’ I choke out and I hear Kayla gasp from the other side of my mother. I know she’s thinking the worst, the same as me, after all, she knows what it’s like to lose her best friend. Max filled me in on some of what happened but Kayla filled me in the most about Charlie, Kayla’s best friend, and the heart condition that she suffered with before she passed away from complications.
“After the accident, Darren, he um, he kind of lost it. It was the same night everything happened. It was Banner that found her before it got too far,’’ she tells me.
“What do you mean? What did he do?’’ I plead. My fingers bruise from digging my nails into the wooden chair but it’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
“He attacked her,’’ Cowen says, looking at me with sad eyes.
“But she’s okay?’’ I ask, not believing something has happened. Not to Emma. Not when she lost her sister not long before.
“Yes, she’s okay now… kind of. Darren attacked her, he tried to…’’ my dad starts to explain.
“I get it,’’ I tell him quickly, not wanting to hear the word ‘rape’. All I want to do is get in a shower I feel that dirty. I loved him or I thought I did. I gave myself to him and never realised just how sick he was. The drug dealing thing I could move on from, but this… This is something that I blame myself for. I taunted Darren the night of the accident, I told him we knew and that Emma was going to the police. How many lives have I destroyed? I shake my head, a few tears falling free.
“She’s okay, but she wasn’t for a while. She wouldn’t leave the house or let anyone in to see her. She’s attending a community college near home for now but she still needs a lot of support.’’
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’’ I whisper. I feel bad that the past few days I’ve enjoyed being around my family, happy to know I didn’t tear us apart or lose my brother. When all along I did ruin someone’s life, it just wasn’t who I thought it was.
“We wanted to tell you at the right time. We wanted you to be surrounded by the people you love,’’ Mum tells me softly.
It’s then the silence in the room becomes too much and I look around the table giving everyone a small smile.
“I can talk to her soon,’’ I nod, needing to make all this right, and honestly, not wanting to talk about it in front of everyone. I don’t need them to know how much of a failure I really am.
Not only had my brother needed me by his side, but my best friend had also. God, she must have suffered. Then something occurs to me. “What happened to Darren?’’
“He was arrested, put on trial and got found guilty. He got five years,’’ Dad fills in.
“For good behaviour he gets two,’’ Cowen snorts, his jaw clenched. I know his pain. Even though Emma was my best friend, she was also close with Cowen and even admitted to having a crush on him a time or two. Nothing she’d ever play on. She valued our friendship and knew being with my brother would ruin that. Back then he never stayed with a girl long. He usually got what he wanted and moved on. If he did that to Emma it would have caused tension at home and I’d most likely lose my friend because of it.
“I hope he stays there,’’ I bite out.
“Hopefully his parents can only afford soap,’’ Max adds, lightening the mood. We all laugh, Cowen chuckling louder than the rest of us.
“You said a few things?’’ I tell Dad while everyone begins conversations: filling the silence.
“Yeah. We’ve got to go back tomorrow. We want you to come with us,’’ he tells me and my heart stops. I knew there would be a time they’d have to leave but I didn’t want to process it. How could I? I have a life here, a new family, but I also don’t want to lose my real family now that I have them back.
“I don’t…’’ I shake my head, looking to Max for answers. His eyes are on me and I know from the sadness flashing in his eyes that he heard everything my dad just said.
I have to admit, a huge part of me wants to stay because of him. He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and he’s also been through a lot, he doesn’t need another woman in his life leaving. But not only that, I can’t picture my life without him in it. We’ve spent nearly every moment together since I moved in. Losing him would be like losing Cowen at this point. That’s how close we’ve become.
My dad’s expression falls when I stay silent and my mum’s hand grips my leg under the table. I know they’ll let me stay if I asked, but I also know it would kill them. I’ve missed out on so much already. But they don’t know how much Joan and her family have done for me. Everything here feels right. But if they leave, it won’t. Either way I don’t win. I’ll be losing someone who means the world to me.
“What time do you have to leave?’’ Max asks my dad, his expression changing. It’s not his normal light, carefree face. His face has hardened a touch and his eyes have turned cold.
“We need to leave before midday,’’ Dad answers.
“You should go,’’ Max tells me, nodding his head. “You’ve finally got your family back. You should stay with them.’’
“But…’’ I start, but his expression has me shutting my mouth, my eyes watering.
“But what? When I called them I knew you’d leave with them. Have you not thought of that before now? I’ve got to meet Lindsey tomorrow around half eleven, so it works out perfectly. I won’t get accused of anything.’’
“Jackie?’’ I ask, my voice laced with hurt. Why is he doing this to me? I don’t understand.
“Yeah,’’ he smirks, leaning forward on his elbows. “She’s a chick I met at Antonio’s. Hot piece. Big jugs,’’ he tells me, his eyes cold and distant. This isn’t the Max I know.
“Max,’’ Maverick warns, moving back in his chair.
“What?’’ Max asks, looking offended, a huge smile on his face, although it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“You know what,’’ Maverick snaps back; his voice louder.
“Why are you doing this?’’ I ask him, moving my chair back ready to escape. I look around and although everyone avoids my eyes the humiliation of what Max is doing still hits me, my cheeks heating in embarrassment.
“How else am I going to get rid of you? I’ve lost my player status since you arrived,’’ he snarls yet a flash of hurt and regret flickers in his eyes.
“That’s enough,’’ Dad snaps, beginning to look red. His hands are clenched into fists on the table but my mother’s soothing voice calling his name relaxes him.
“Sorry, sir, but she needs to know she has to go. I can see love hearts in her eyes like a poxy emoji and I’d hate for her to lose you again because I’m awesome,’’ he snickers.
“Max. Don’t do this, please,’’ I beg, not understanding why he’s pushing me away.
“Do what? Tell you the truth,’’ he laughs, his head thrown back.
“Max, get the fuck out now!’’ Maverick roars, slamming his cup down on the table. I’m surprised it didn’t smash.
“Why?’’ Max asks cockily. My brother next to him is fuming, his eyes narrowed angrily up at Max. Marybeth is trying to calm him down. Seeing everyone like this is making everything that is already happening worse. Devastation and betrayal hit me in full force and I have to take in a deep breath to try and calm down.
“You’re going to regret ever saying any of this in the morning. You don’t mean it. Stop being a jerk and let Lake make up her own mind.’’
“For fuck’s sake, she already made up her mind. Everyone leaves, brother, you should know. You were good at it,’’ Max snarls and Maverick looks like he’s been hit with a sledge hammer and the hurt that washes across his face has me wondering what Max meant. “I’m doing her a favour. I’m not the bad fucking guy here. Fuck it. I’m going to meet Lindsey. I’ll see you assholes in the morning,’’ Max snaps before rushing out the room.
The room goes completely silent as I sit at the table with tears running down my face, my heart hurting painfully at Max’s departing words twist the knife he already stabbed in my heart.
“Lake,’’ Mum whispers, her hand on my thigh rubbing gently.
Snapping out of it, I jump up from my seat. “I best go pack then,’’ I mutter before rushing out of the room.
In my room I head straight for my phone, praying Max has sent me a text message saying it was all a lie and that he was joking or he didn’t mean any of it. When there’s nothing I sink down on my bed and burst into tears. I grip my chest letting the pain consume me as a strangled sob breaks free from my throat. For the first time in a while I let the pain consume me, feeling everything enough for it to break me, my body falling limply onto the bed from exhaustion.
Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) Page 36