Tempting the Fire
Page 31
“Not exactly. I mean, I am in love with you,” she added quickly. “And it’s real. I know it is, because I didn’t fall for you after we had sex. I don’t have any of the insane, obsessive feelings. I know it sounds sappy, but what I feel for you is pure, not tainted.”
As relieved as Chance was, he sensed she was holding something back. “But?”
She shifted her weight. Stalled. Finally blurted, “But I don’t think the curse is broken. I think you got around it. A loophole my sister never thought of when she said I’d feel only obsessive love for a man, and that no man would ever love me.”
Chance went cold. “Fuck me. The curse doesn’t apply to me because I’m not a man anymore.”
“That’s my guess,” she whispered.
Realization ripped through him, tore right through his heart. God … no. “If I’m cured …”
Her throat worked on a hard swallow. “You’d be human again. All man. And happy. And you can go back to your job and your life.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “That’s why you asked me that question, about remaining part beast.”
“Stupid, I know.” She sighed. “I mean, of course you’d jump at the opportunity to be cured. I know I would. I’d kill for a cure.”
“But with me, you don’t need one anymore.”
“Oh, Chance,” she breathed, taking a step back. “I admit it, I fell for you. I know you don’t believe that and think it was all for the mission. And it started that way. But you might only care about me because of the mating thing. And I know what it’s like to be locked into something you can’t control, something you don’t want. I could never let you live with the infection, not if there’s a possibility you can be helped.”
Before she could take another step closer to the door, Chance shoved the covers off him and stood in front of her. Looking ridiculous in a hospital gown. Not that he cared. The pull was most definitely still there between them. He could easily take her here, on the bed, but he knew that there was more to it than just sex.
They’d connected. She’d saved his life. Maybe he’d saved hers as well. “Suppose we give this a shot. Suppose you think you could be with me because I’m the first guy who could love you. Because here’s the thing. I don’t give a shit how we got to this point or how I came to care for you. I do, and that’s all that matters.”
He yanked the IV catheter out of his arm.
Marlena’s gorgeous eyes shot wide, and she rushed to him, slapped her hand over the bleeding wound. “What are you doing?”
Cupping her cheek, he said softly, “Staying the way I am.”
“You can’t. Devlin won’t let you.”
“We’ll deal with that.” He drew Marlena to him and she fit so well in his arms—and, yes, they’d deal with it somehow. They had to.
DEV WASN’T READY TO DEAL WITH IT.
Correction, he was over the moon that Marlena wanted to come work for him again—on one condition: She would train Christine so the two women could back each other up.
But Chance remaining a chupacabra? Not so onboard. “You have to try for the cure,” Dev said.
Marlena and Chance stood in the middle of Devlin’s office, with Chance wearing only scrub bottoms, with a determined look in his eye that Dev knew all too well. “I don’t want it.”
Dev shook his head. “I can’t have you running around here, potentially getting angry and infecting my agents.”
Chance jutted out his chin. “I can control myself, sir. I’ve been doing it since the day I joined the military.”
“But the animal side of you might not be able to control itself—it’s dangerous.”
“Just because the other chupacabra infected Chance doesn’t necessarily mean Chance can infect others,” Marlena broke in. “We can test that.”
“So if he can’t infect people, he can just kill them,” Dev said dryly.
“Most of your agents could’ve done the same thing when you first brought them in—still can, I’d guess,” Chance said evenly.
Dev turned to Marlena. “What other argument do you have?”
“Rik and Kira can work with him. And the scientists. They just can’t cure him.”
“What happens if the infection progresses?” he asked quietly of both of them, his eyes on Chance. “What if, one day, you change and there’s no changing back?”
“We’re not there yet.” Chance took Marlena’s hand and gave her a tender smile. “We’re both willing to see this through, to see where it leads us.”
Marlena’s eyes shone, and she was so strangely content. Happy. How the hell could Dev take that away from her?
For her own good, and the good of ACRO.
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Chance, give Marlena and me a minute.”
Chance complied. A good sign.
“Something big is going down, Marlena. Huge. I feel it in my bones, and it gets stronger every day,” Dev told her once they were alone.
“Itor.”
He nodded. “I’m going to need everyone up and running at one hundred percent.”
“There are plenty of agents who are in relationships and do their jobs. And we’ve had far more dangerous people than Chance here. And you always tell them, Your gift is special and it’s been given to you for a reason—ACRO can help you find a reason. Is that bullshit?”
He felt the anger rise inside of him at the way she called him out. “It’s not the same—this isn’t a gift.”
“It is to me.”
What the hell was he supposed to say to that? With a drawn-out sigh, he nodded. “We’ll find a way, Marlena. We always do.”
CHAPTER
Twenty-five
The dream thing Sela hoped for didn’t pan out. She had downed a few small bottles of vodka on the plane and fallen asleep, but when she’d awakened, nothing had changed, except she’d had a headache the size of New York. This was definitely not a dream.
After the jet landed, Gabe had been taken away by Ender, who had been the only reason Creed hadn’t ripped Gabe apart right there on the tarmac. It had been clear that he’d wanted to for some reason, until he saw Annika—and then the murderous light had left his eyes and he’d whisked her away, probably straight to medical.
Sela had waited with Marlena while Chance and the dead chupa were unloaded. Immediately afterward, Caroline and Logan had been escorted off the plane.
He hadn’t even looked at her.
Sela had gone immediately to the infirmary—the first required stop after a mission of this nature. After that, she’d gone to Psychic headquarters to have her Triad disbanded, followed by a visit to the mission supervisor. She and Marlena would also be meeting with their department heads later, and with Dev if he requested it.
He’d called Sela last night, just to make sure she was okay, and to update her on Logan and his family. She was glad to hear that GWC was going to be working with ACRO now, but she wondered what it meant for her and Logan.
Now, a day after returning from the jungle, she was sitting in her office, futilely trying to catch up on paperwork. After every mission, agents were given a minimum of three days off, but she hadn’t been able to sit around in her base apartment, doing nothing but thinking about Logan, who, according to Christine, had been assigned quarters in billeting with his father. Caroline had been admitted into the infirmary, but that was yesterday. She should be released today, and then … would Logan be leaving with her?
The thought that Sela might never see Logan again made her stomach tighten into a knot. She wrestled with the desire to find him before he left, but what would she say? She had no idea how to make him understand that not everything had been a lie. What she felt for him was so real she could taste it, like salt in tears.
She hadn’t been the only one to come away from this assignment emotionally damaged, and she thought about checking on Marlena, but she knew the woman would be deeply engaged in Seducer de-stressing. Seducers often came back from missions an emotional mess, so a
program had been developed to help them deal—everything from receiving psychic meditation therapy to massages.
Sela could use a little Seducer treatment herself. Maybe tomorrow—
Someone tapped on her office door, snapping her out of lovely visions of a deep-tissue massage. “Come in.”
Ulrika stuck her reddish-blond head through the crack in the door. “There’s someone here to see you,” she said, in her faint German accent. “Big guy wearing a visitor badge.”
Logan. Sela’s heart started bouncing around in her chest, all happy, conveniently forgetting that he was the big asshole who had broken it.
Squaring her shoulders, Sela nodded. “Fine. Oh, have you been to see Chance yet?” The shape-shifter was the closest thing ACRO had to a half man, half chupacabra, and the special team assigned to his case had been hoping she could either provide some insight or help Chance adjust.
She nodded. “He was kind of out of it, though. So I didn’t get much of an opportunity to talk to him. Which was probably for the best. Cujo was really nervous around him. She could sense the danger.”
Cujo was Ulrika’s beast that lived inside her, and though she’d gained control over the huge wolflike creature, it was best not to agitate it.
“Are you going to try again?”
“Probably. He’ll need help adjusting.” She smiled. “I’ll get your visitor now. He’s really hot, by the way.”
“Yeah,” Sela muttered. “I noticed.”
Ulrika left, and thirty seconds later, Logan walked in, his expression one of cool professionalism, looking like he belonged in black BDUs, but wearing a visitor badge and no doubt being escorted around the base by a security guy or ten. The BDUs suited his powerful, masculine frame, and though she’d seen him just yesterday, it seemed like months, and she drank him in as if he was a stiff drink and she had just fallen off the wagon.
He looked tired, but the dark circles under his eyes didn’t diminish how handsome he was, how his big body was coiled with leashed power she knew could break her in more ways than one. Hell, it already had.
“Hello, Logan,” she said tightly. “Are you here to watch me whore for the company?” It was a bitter, spiteful, childish thing to say, and she immediately wished she could take it back. To his credit, Logan didn’t respond to her baiting. No, he remained completely unruffled and distant, as though he were here to inspect the office.
“Actually, I was hoping you could tell me more about ACRO.”
“Why me? I’m sure you’ve been assigned someone to answer all your questions.”
His cheeks colored as he glanced around the room. “I wanted an excuse to see you. To see where you worked.”
For some reason, his words released her anger, as if she’d had it all nicely contained and he’d opened the box holding it. “Ah. You wanted proof that I worked where I said I did, in a building full of weird creatures and research equipment, instead of in a room with only a bed.” She shoved to her feet and stalked to a shelf lined with jars containing various odd specimens. “Well, here is a whole rack of creatures—some anomalies by birth, others of unknown origins. Maybe you think they’re sex toys.” She gestured to another shelf, this one lined with small skeletons and skulls. “Bones, obviously. But the things you could do with them in bed …” Her fury built as she yanked a map off the wall, tearing it and not caring, because by now she was worked up and letting loose about ten years of anger. “And this is a map logging all sightings of chupacabras in the last five years. I was thinking of going to all of them and fucking the witnesses—”
Logan moved so fast she didn’t see him until he was in her face, his hands on her shoulders and gripping tightly. “Stop it, Sela. I was mad and I said things I shouldn’t have. Can we move past it?”
“If that was an apology,” she snapped, “then it was the lamest one in history.”
“That’s because it wasn’t,” he snapped right back at her.
“So you shouldn’t have said it, but you did mean it.”
“Yes. No.” He swore. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m here. A lot of shit happened and you told me a lot of lies. Itor told me a lot of lies. I don’t know which way is up, and I want to get straight again. I fell for you, and afterward I found out you were lying. And then I found out you fuck guys for your job. Does it really surprise you that I’d be upset?”
Well, when he put it that way …
She hadn’t really thought about it from his perspective. He’d lashed out, striking at her in the only way he could, but only because he’d been hurt—and she could only lay the blame for that at her own feet.
Deflated, feeling like the air had gone out of all her tires, she turned away. “You’re right. You have every reason to be upset.”
“It’s just … how many guys are out there right now, in love with you after you played with their heads?” His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. “How many guys do I have to kill?”
Startled by his jealousy, she swung back around to him. “What did you just say?”
“Fuck. Forget I said that.” He jammed his fingers through his hair. “How often do you do this? Are there others like me?”
“No,” she whispered. “It never got personal with any of them.” She sank down on the desktop, scattering papers and nearly knocking over her coffee cup. “It’s been years, Logan. The last one was the guy I told you about. The one who nearly killed me. After that, I couldn’t do the job anymore. I asked to be assigned here, in the Crypto department. I didn’t lie about my history doing this. After my mom died, I went to live with a wonderful foster family who owned a cryptozoological research company. I kind of grew up studying cryptids.”
Even now, her foster family believed she worked for a private cryptozoological firm. ACRO had given its Crypto department legitimacy by naming it Creature Search and allowing contact with any citizen or agency. Actually, that was how the staff got much of its information and leads.
“So was that how you found out about ACRO?”
A surge of guilt rose up in her, because she wanted to fib, to say yes, but there had already been too many lies. But what if this one last truth was the straw that broke this fragile camel’s back? Her heart began to pound as she braced herself for his reaction.
“No,” she said, forcing herself to meet his gaze steadily. “I slept with an ACRO agent. I learned about ACRO when he …”
“Came.” Logan practically spat the word. “You read him when he climaxed.” His brows lifted as a thought dawned on him. “The guy you said you worked with. That’s who you were talking about.”
She managed a nod. “Yeah.”
His fingers caught her chin, forcing her to look at him, when all she wanted to do was study those nasty jars. Or a map. Or maybe the contents of the trash can. His gaze was fierce, flashing with jealousy. “Was it Stryker?”
“Does it really matter?” She knew it didn’t. But since he couldn’t physically lash out at her past, he needed an outlet, and he wasn’t very fond of Stryker to begin with. Gently, she pushed his hand away. “Look, I slept with that agent a long time ago, and it was the last time I had sex because I wanted to—until you. You probably don’t believe that—”
His mouth came down on hers. She gasped in surprise, and he took advantage, sinking his tongue into her mouth with predatory intent. He gentled almost immediately, using his lips and tongue to caress hers as he tugged her body against him. Desperate for his touch, she clung to him, gripping his broad shoulders as if they were the only thing holding her up.
A groan dredged up from deep in his chest, and he wedged himself tighter between her legs. His hands came up from her waist, one winding behind her back and the other cupping her breast. His thumb flicked over her stiff nipple, making it ache for more intimate contact.
She grew hotter, wetter, as his arousal swelled against her core. Heart pounding and breath coming as a searing blast in her throat, she dropped her hands between them, fumbling for his zipper—
How did he even know she was at work? She was supposed to be on three days’ leave. She sighed. “Tell him I’ll get on it right now.”
“Will do.”
“Duty calls,” Logan said, his voice sounding a little breathless.
“Guess so.”
But she didn’t remain out of his grasp for long. “Fuck getting back to work,” he murmured, pulling her close again. “It’s my turn to leave some impressions on your psychic memory.”
SELA DIDN’T REALLY PROTEST—NOT ALL THAT HARD ANYWAY, and it was easily stifled with a kiss and a well-placed hand sliding back inside her shirt.
No, she wouldn’t be doing anything right now—except him and only him. If Logan couldn’t erase her mind of the other men she’d been with, he’d make damned sure he was the only one she saw.
He’d make sure he was the only one who could satisfy her. He’d already started to, judging by the way she moaned his name against his mouth while he worried a nipple with his fingers.
Her hands had long stopped pushing him away and were now yanking at him, pulling him closer. He obliged, ripping her shirt completely open without finesse, the tiny buttons popping and scattering along the floor, his mouth capturing a tight pink nipple.
And even as her hands worked to pull his shirt out of his pants and run her palms over his bare skin, he wondered if she wanted to know what he was thinking. As if she couldn’t tell; but still, he knew what a relief it was for her to know she couldn’t read his current thoughts unless he let her in. It was equally satisfactory to him that he could let her in if he chose to.
All that noise in her head—he couldn’t imagine what it was like. But he did know what it was like to be different, to worry that everyone would find out your deep, dark secrets.