The Breakup Mix

by Carter, TK

  She mumbled, “Noted.”

  “I can still take the next exit. We can drop by for a second, you can tell him you’re moving to Florida and just see what he does.”

  “Stay the course, Lis.”

  “You’re making a mistake, Chance.”

  “Probably.”

  “Well, I have to pee, anyway.” I flipped on my blinker and took the exit. “I’m ready for a refill, too. You need more coffee?” I met her blazing eyes and stifled the holy-shit-she’s-pissed grin that tried to surface.

  “I swear if we see him, I’m tattooing ‘I suck ‘em good’ on your forehead in your sleep tonight.”

  “Oh Chance, it’s St. Louis on a Sunday morning. What are the odds we’ll run into Tony at Starbucks?”

  Chance

  The baby must be sucking her intelligence to an all-time low. What the fuck kind of human takes an exit that leads to my ex-boyfriend’s apartment while I’m trying like hell to be the chicken getting to the other side of this blasted city? It’s straight-up horse shit,— that’s what it is. And, I’ve been holding my pee for thirty-six minutes pretending I don’t have to go so we can get to the other side. Totally insensitive.

  Dani stirred in the back seat. She asked through a yawn, “Are we stopping already?”

  I answered, “Alissa-the-magnificent has to pee.”

  She replied, “Oh, good. I need to go, too, and I need more coffee.”

  Alissa was smart enough not to speak. She pulled into Starbucks, threw the Navigator in park, and headed into the building. I scoped the parking lot and didn’t see anything that resembled Tony’s car. Inside, I did a quick scan of the customers, found the coast clear, and decided I could like Alissa again. But I still hope she gets pee on her hand.

  Maybe I’ll meet some handsome, young, tanned hottie with an extreme passion for life and an insatiable hunger for sex while I’m in Florida. Maybe he’ll be there with two of his buddies hiding out because one of them knocked up a successful attorney who’s on the manhunt for his balls. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Meeting someone intriguing would be the sure-fire way to get Tony off my mind—if I can get out of my own head long enough to actually see people in front of me. That’d be a nice change.

  After we used the bathroom and replenished our beverages of choice, we headed to the parking lot in a better mood than when we left it. As Alissa was pulling out of the parking lot, Dani asked, “Okay, can I be the superfluous bitch, here and point out that between the three of us, we spent over fifteen dollars on drinks just then? That is outrageous.”

  Alissa said, “I can’t even begin to imagine how much money Starbucks makes in a year. Chance, write that down. I want to look that up when we get to Florida.”

  I looked at her. “Are you being serious?”

  She chuckled, “Well, yeah I’m being serious. They sell coffee. For five dollars a cup.”

  I mumbled, “Yeah, but it’s more than just coffee. It’s a little liquid heaven in your flavor of choice. It’s worth every dime to me.”

  Dani said, “I don’t see how people can afford that, and you know there are people who go there every day. Every day! That’d be what . . . an average of three hundred dollars a month spent on coffee?”

  I said, “I highly doubt most people go there every day, Dani. But yes, we can look it up when we get to Florida. Sure.” I made a note on my invisible note pad. “Research the Starbucks scam.”

  Alissa said, “Okay, okay, maybe we’ve enlisted the help of the enemy, here, Dani. I’m on your side, though.”

  Dani said, “Thank God for that.”

  I had to laugh. “I find it so humorous that the two of you are concerned about a five dollar coffee—especially since we’ve all just left our careers, boarded up our houses, and are going to spend several months living in an oceanfront house. Wanna talk about extravagant spending, there, bitches?”

  They were both silent until we all laughed. Alissa said, “Touché.”

  I did a fist pump. “Now that’s worth writing down. I actually won an argument with Alissa and Dani at the same time. This trip is worth it already.”

  It slipped out. Thankfully, Dani didn’t catch it, and Alissa let it go. “How about we drown out this gloating with a little trip music? Maestro, will you do the honors?” She handed me her phone. “You can pick the first playlist. The Breakup Mix might be your best option right now. Just sayin’” She winked at me and returned her eyes to the road.

  And that’s how we spent three days in the car. If Alissa wasn’t pregnant, we could have made it in two, but Dani thought it would be best to spread it out over three days and we didn’t argue. By the time we made it to Naples, I was ready to grab Chubs, walk the full length of the Gulf of Mexico and be alone. Not that I don’t like my friends—I love them. They’re the sugar and creamer that make my life’s coffee worth drinking. But I need to be alone—I’m used to being alone, so constant chatter and being restricted to plans makes me want to randomly punch people. Yet another reason why Tony and me weren’t a good match.

  On our last stop, I let Dani have the front seat so she could help Alissa find the house. I was tired and Dani was nervous, so it was a good swap for both of us. After a few wrong turns and a trip down a one-way street, Alissa fired Dani from the navigation and turned on the GPS. I was content to gasp and point from the back seat at the houses that dripped money.

  Dani snapped, “Well we can’t be too far from it. There’s the damn ocean right there.”

  “Begging your pardon, Miss Dani, but there are a helluva lot of houses on said ocean, and I’d rather not unpack at the wrong one,” Alissa barked.

  Two minutes later, Alissa slowed near the driveway of a house. “I think that’s it. I recognize it from the pictures.” She looked at her phone. “Aren’t you going to tell me—”

  The phone chirped, “You have arrived at your destination. It is on the left.”

  Alissa tossed the phone on the dashboard and muttered as she turned into the driveway. “Looks smaller than I’d imagined.”

  Smaller? The house looked to be at least two stories with a two-car garage underneath. My heart pounded in my chest as a grin spread across my face. I opened the car door and tilted my face to the afternoon sun. “Hello, lover.”

  Alissa grinned. “Tada! What do you think?”

  We got out of the car and stared at the perfectly manicured lawn, palm trees, and the house that would be ours for the next five months. I didn’t even want to think about how much this cost, and I’d only seen the back. I grabbed Chubs, attached his leash, and nearly sprinted to the front of the house to see the view.

  Once again, Alissa did it up right.

  The front of the house was more immaculate than I could ever have pictured on my own. The two-story yellow house with white trim stood proudly with opened arms that curled slightly and ended with glass rooms. Above the front door was a white wooden deck that sat like a crown. Mentally, I called dibs on whatever room those double doors enclosed—even if it was a laundry room, it was mine. An elevated deck surrounded the front of the house with palm trees, sea grass, and a perfect view of the Gulf of Mexico to complete the scene. The evening tide was whipping and rolling, providing just enough surf sounds to make tears flow down my cheeks. It was perfect. While the house didn’t have a veranda, there was a gazebo, and that was good enough for me. I didn’t care if I ever stepped foot in the house at this point—I was content with the yard.

  “Chance, can you believe this place?” Dani gaped as she circled the sidewalk. “Every detail is so intricate and meticulous.”

  Alissa slid next to me and linked her arm with mine. “Well? What do you think?”

  I swallowed hard and whispered, “It’s perfect, Lis.”

  She giggled and squealed, “Yay! Welcome home, Chance Bradley.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “I cannot believe this is happening. We made it.” I wiped my face. “Can you believe this view?”

  She beamed. “Go big or
go home, right?”

  “I’ve never known you to be any other way, kiddo.”

  Dani scampered down the wooden steps that led to the beach. “Chance! Come on!”

  I slipped off my shoes and socks, rolled my jeans and ran to catch up with her. I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever felt freer in my life. My long hair whipped in the breeze, the ocean applauded with our arrival as though it had been waiting for us. I giggled then squealed in spite of myself. I sped past Dani who’d stopped to take off her shoes and ran the width of the shore until I was ankle-deep in the ocean water. Alissa was hot on my heels splashing and stomping as she threw back her head and laughed just for the joy of it.

  “Is this really happening?” Dani gasped as she tested the water. She stepped into the ocean with us. “It’s colder than I’d imagined.”

  “Well, it is nearly January, silly.”

  If I’d brought any cares with me to this place, the sea greeted me and took them to its depths. The ocean commanded our attention—the trance of its melody wrapped around me like a grandmother’s hug.

  I glanced down the beach and saw Alissa scampering in and out of the waves with her arms out like an airplane. I nudged Dani. “Will you look at her?”

  Dani chuckled. “She’s a mess.”

  I followed her eyes down the coast and whistled. “Get a load of those houses, man.”

  “Oh, I’m looking. This is over the top.” She turned to look at our house and shook her head. “Shall we check out the house?”

  I grinned. “Oh, absolutely.” I turned toward Alissa and yelled, “Come on, girl! Let’s go see the house!”

  She tilted her arms and circled the plane our way as she screamed, “Isn’t this amazing?”

  Thousands of stories from Alissa’s childhood invaded my mind. I envisioned her pretending to be a ten-year-old kid on vacation with her parents—the way it should have been. She was breathless and giddy when she got to us. She let her arms flop to her sides and looked at the house. “I did good,” she said.

  “You did good, kid. Race ya! Loser has to cook supper.” We took off running and squealing for the house. Of course, Dani was the sore loser, but I was sucking wind when we reached the boardwalk.

  “But wait, there’s more,” Alissa grinned as she stepped up to the outdoor shower and pushed a button. Water sprayed across her feet rinsing away the sand. “Holy shit, that’s cold. Agh! Okay, Dani, your turn.”

  Dani slid her feet under the water and gasped. “Holy shit, that’s cold!” She flipped her feet trying to hurry the process. “Chance?”

  I took my turn, and suddenly that water wasn’t nearly as funny as it had been when the other two were under it. “Good god, that’s freezing.” They took their turn laughing at me as I danced and shook my fists. “Okay, good enough. Let’s go inside.” I picked up Chubs and wiped the sand off his feet as he licked my hands.

  Our wet feet slapped against the boardwalk and wooden steps. Alissa slid the key in the lock and asked, “Are you ready for this?”

  I laughed. “I feel like I should be carrying you across the threshold or something.”

  Alissa laughed too. “Dani, you go first. In case there are burglars. You can use your mad punching skills.”

  “Great, we’re all dead, then,” Dani said.

  Alissa swung open the door and we stepped into what would be considered a mud room in the Midwest. Benches lined three walls and towel hooks were spaced evenly around the room. A shelf next to the door held a dozen white towels all rolled to perfection, and a plush rug covered most of the hardwood floors. I pointed at the rug. “Smart.”

  Dani looked down. “Can you imagine the scuffs sandy feet would leave on these floors?

  I set Chubs down and shortened his leash. I smirked. “I can’t wait until your baby draws a Crayola masterpiece on your walls.”

  She smacked my hand. “Stop that.”

  Straight ahead, the sunroom opened into the largest kitchen I’ve ever seen. Off to the right was a little sitting room. “What’s that for, morning coffee?” I stuck my head in and saw one of the all-window rooms I’d seen from the beach.

  “I’d say that’s exactly what this is. A coffee room/breakfast nook,” Alissa said.

  I whispered, “It’s fabulous. God, look at that view.”

  “Chance, come look at this!” Dani called from deeper in the house.

  Alissa and I fought to be the first one out of the breakfast nook and laughed as we crossed the kitchen, which led into the living room. I gasped and didn’t know where to look first. The high ceilings, the white couches with brown pillows that matched the furniture and floors. “Oh god, Chubs.” I looked down at my dog. “You will not get on those couches, you understand?”

  Alissa nudged me. “We’ll put some blankets over them. You know how clumsy I am and how wine affects Dani. Chances are we’ll have to have those professionally cleaned before we leave, anyway.” She winked. “If we ever leave.”

  I nodded. “Right? I’m thinking Mama’s home. As much as I love my apartment, I could be persuaded to stay here forever.”

  Alissa laughed. “Oh girl, even I can’t afford this place for life. But it’s something to consider.”

  Dani was still on the prowl and gasping every thirty seconds at her latest find. She found the library, a study, and an indoor pool which was the surprise behind the other all-glass walls. She grinned and asked, “What’s upstairs?”

  We took off for the stairs—I won that time and got to see my room first. I threw open the door to the room that had a balcony which overlooked the ocean. “Dibs! Dibs, dibs, dibs, mine!” I threw myself on the king-sized bed and rolled around. “Mine, mine!” I threw out my arms and legs and wiggled like a pig in fresh mud. “Oh my god, I’m in heaven.”

  Alissa called down the hallway, “I found my room!”

  I sat up and frowned. “You didn’t even see this room, sister!” I jumped off the bed to see what treasure she’d found and gaped at the room she’d claimed. It was twice the size of mine and had a Jacuzzi tub in the corner surrounded by tropical plants and a window that overlooked the ocean. I mumbled, “Well shit the bed. She outdid me again.”

  Alissa crawled into the tub and pretended to hold a wine glass. “Oh servant, I need more, please. And could you wash my back?”

  I grabbed one of the towels beside the tub and threw it in her face. “Oh you got served, all right.”

  Dani yelled, “I don’t know, ladies, I may have both of you beat.”

  We stared at each other for a split second then started for the door at the same time as Alissa squealed, “Dammit, Chance, you had a head start!”

  I stuck my tongue out. “You shouldn’t have bellied up to the tub, ma chérie!”

  Dani’s room was pure elegance, just like its occupant. She had a window that overlooked the ocean as well, but the room seemed to be custom made for her. One wall was floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with a reading nook on one side of the room. The bed would have taken up a normal room in any of our houses, but it seemed small in the expanse of a room. She grinned. “Check out the closet.”

  I stuck my head into the closet that seemed never-ending. “Damn, that’s the size of my room back home!”

  She giggled. “I didn’t bring enough clothes to fill a tenth of those hangers.”

  I wagged my eyebrows at her. “We need to go shopping.”

  Alissa came around the corner and asked, “Did someone say shopping?”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  A Thousand Years

  Michelle

  New Year’s Eve. A time to reflect on the past year and make wishes for a new one. For most people, it’s a time to make a list of things you’re going to change in rapid succession then feel bad about never following through. My changes started four months ago. My wake-up call came a week ago, and my resolutions started the morning I woke up hung-over in Alissa’s house missing my family thinking I’d never have my horrible wasted life back.

 
I think I’ll remember the night I came home for the rest of my life. Brandon and I walked around the elephant in the room as I picked up my normal routine, scoured my filthy kitchen only to dirty it again with the same boring meal I’d cooked just a week earlier. The mood at the table was lighter than it’d been in a long time, but there seemed to be guillotines hung over everyone’s heads. No one made sudden movements, stupid comments, smart-ass retorts, or brought up touchy subjects. I guess you could say it was fake.

  After dinner, clean-up, showers, laundry, and good-night routines, Brandon and I found ourselves in our bedroom standing in opposite corners with the elephant on our bed. I fidgeted and stole glances at him; he stood with his hands in his pockets staring at the bedspread.

  He whispered, his voice husky and shaking, “Yellow, sunflowers, Kelly Clarkson, Hawaii, Riverboat Red Wine, cats, reading, have sex.” His eyes never left the bedspread.

  I swallowed hard and asked, “What’s all that?”

  His gaze cut to meet mine. “Your favorite color, flower, musician, dream trip, beverage of choice, favorite animal, favorite hobby, and favorite thing to do on a rainy day.” He sighed. “How’d I do?”

  I bit my cheek to ease the ache in my throat and heart. “Very good.”

  He nodded. “Thought so.”

  “Why’d you do that?”

  He shrugged. “You said in your journal I didn’t know the answers to any of those things. But I do, Michelle.”

  “Brandon,” I whispered. Tears poured down my face. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I also know that I’m an asshole, okay? I know that. I have to say I didn’t think I was that bad—”

  I sobbed, “I was mad—”

  He cut me off. “No, a lot of what you said is probably true. But, Chelle, not all of it. Okay? Not all of it.” His voice cracked as his chin quivered.

  I went to him and knelt. “Brandon, I’m begging you on my knees to forgive me for what I wrote. I didn’t . . . I don’t . . . you’re not . . . Fuck, I can’t even talk.”

  He knelt in front of me and put his forehead to mine. “Look at me, baby. I knew you were bat-shit crazy years ago. It’s part of the fun of being married to fifteen different women wrapped up in one body.”