A Little Bit of Déjà Vu

by Laurie Kellogg

  Maggie shifted restlessly in her seat, causing her flowery fragrance to surround him. Damn, she still smelled so good. Unfortunately, the fact she’d avoided him all these months proved she wanted nothing to do with him.

  “It seems as if you’ve made up your minds about what you plan to do,” Margie said, “and nothing we can say is going to change them.”

  “Yes, we have.” Alex nodded. “We’ve spent over three months considering all the pros and cons.”

  Maggie arched one doubtful eyebrow. “And you think you can handle playing college ball while you attend classes, study, and still give a wife and baby the time they need?”

  “My father’s always told me I can accomplish anything if I want it badly enough and I commit myself to achieving it.”

  Great. Now his kid remembered his pearls of wisdom. Jake studied Emma quietly sitting next to Alex, allowing him to handle everything. He was proud of the way his son took care of her. She was a timid girl, and Alex bent over backward to shield her from as much unpleasantness as he could.

  It reminded Jake of the way he’d handled his own crisis with Maggie. She too had remained silent, letting him return with her to San Francisco to break the news to her mother and allowing him to make all the decisions. And as soon as he’d flown home to New Jersey, Maggie had let her mother pressure her into going back on everything they’d agreed to for their future.

  He’d often wondered if it’d been because he’d steamrolled her, or if she just hadn’t had enough backbone to stand up to her mother. In either case, she’d been a spineless jellyfish with one of them. But more importantly, she couldn’t have aborted their baby if she’d felt for him what she’d claimed to at the time.

  Jake smiled across the table at Margie’s daughter. “You haven’t said a word, Em. You have a quiet, easygoing nature, and Alex has a tendency to drag people along in his wake. I’d like to hear your feelings on all of this.”

  “I want the same things he wants,” she murmured.

  “Better yet, tell me what you don’t want. There must be something the two of you have disagreed on.”

  She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and glanced at Alex.

  “Don’t look at him, Emma. Speak for yourself.”

  Her face twisted as her eyes glassed over. “I’m afraid Alex will be the only guy at the university who’s married. I don’t want him to end up resenting our baby and me.”

  “That’s the first sensible thing I’ve heard all evening.” Jake narrowed his gaze. “So you’re not quite as sure about getting married?”

  Emma shot Alex an apologetic look and shook her head.

  “Look, Son, all your plans sound great in concept, but in reality, they’ll play out very differently.”

  “You can’t be sure of that.” Alex pulled Emma’s nearly full plate in front of him.

  “No, but I’ve been to college, and I’m a father,” Jake said. “I think that qualifies me to give you a preview. Your friends will all be partying at school while you’re stuck at home, trying to study, and walking the floor with a newborn crying in your ear.”

  “Your father’s right, Alex.” Margie interjected, surprising the hell out of Jake in defending his position. “You have no idea how much time caring for a baby takes out of your day or how tedious it can be.”

  “That’s why I want to marry Emmy. I don’t want her to stay here and hate me for leaving her to raise our baby alone.”

  And she undoubtedly would. Being on the road with the team so much while his son was a baby had been a big point of contention in Jake’s marriage.

  Alex squeezed his eyes shut. “The last thing I want is to lose Emma.”

  In his son’s shoes, Jake would probably feel the same way. “It sounds as if you two need to do a lot more talking before you make any decisions.” He grabbed his son’s wrist as he reached for his Coke. “And Alex....” Jake stared at him silently to be sure he had his kid’s attention. “I suggest you concentrate on listening and let Emma do the talking.”

  ~~~

  Alex clenched his teeth as Brandy leaned over him to clear the plates, deliberately shoving her tits in his face. He wished she would stop coming on to him. If he’d known she’d gotten a job at the diner, he never would’ve suggested eating here.

  Feeling Emma stiffen next to him, he squeezed her hand under the table. Not only did he hate how the cheerleader’s blatant flirting upset Emma, he resented that the slut’s come-ons could give him a hard-on. Especially when she constantly reminded him she had the power to destroy his relationship with Emma.

  Brandy removed his dad’s practically untouched plate. The only reason Emma’s went back empty was because Alex had polished off the bulk of her meal in addition to his own.

  Lately, he couldn’t seem to eat enough to keep his weight over two hundred. He had to or he would never survive a pack of three-hundred-pound apes piling on him in the fall.

  When the check came, his dad tossed a fifteen-dollar tip on the table. He clutched his father’s arm. “Dad, our order was less than thirty bucks.”

  The last thing Alex needed was Brandy thinking he’d had anything to do with the huge tip.

  “I realize that. I also know what Brandy’s financial situation is at home. You’d better hope people are just as generous to you once you start trying to earn enough to feed your family and pay for doctors’ visits. Do you have any idea what it costs for medical and car insurance? Especially for a teenage guy driving an Aston Martin? And what are you going to do if the price of gas keeps going up? You told me the Vantage is getting less than fifteen miles to the gallon.”

  Sometimes his dad could be such a dickhead. Still....Alex hadn’t considered insurance. Not only wouldn’t Mrs. Bradford’s policy cover Em’s pregnancy, neither of them would be eligible to stay on their parents’ car or health insurance policies once they were married. He couldn’t very well expect his dad to continue picking up the tab on his car insurance in lieu of Christmas and birthday presents the way he had in the past.

  “Mrs. B, would you mind driving my dad home?” Alex nodded toward the exit. “I’d like to take Emma for a ride so we can talk.”

  “Uhh....” Margie hesitated and bit her lip. “I suppose I could, but I’d really like some time with her, myself.”

  Jake pushed Alex and Emma down the aisle. “Let the kids sort things out first,” he suggested. “The two of you can talk when she gets home. It’ll give us a chance to discuss the best way to handle things, first.”

  Mrs. Bradford looked about to object and then simply tossed up her hands.

  “Thanks for dinner, Dad.” Waving, Alex slipped his arm around Emma and hustled her out to the sunny parking lot before their parents could change their minds. Despite that his bitch of a mother had sent him the silver Vantage, he loved his roadster and always parked in the far corner of the lot away from the other cars. He’d been so distracted earlier, planning what to say to his dad, he’d totally forgotten to put the car’s top up when they’d arrived.

  “That wasn’t as awful as you expected, was it?” He opened the car door for Emma.

  “No. After the lectures my mom’s given me all these years about waiting, I’m shocked she was so calm.” Emma paused while he strolled around the sports car, swung his legs over the door, and slid down behind the steering wheel. “Just when you think you know how your parents will react, they behave the exact opposite.”

  “Tell me about it.” He snorted. “I expected my dad to be a lot cooler about this. I’ve seen him with other kids in our situation, and he’s always been really sympathetic. He sure as hell wasn’t with me.”

  “What do you mean? He was amazing.”

  “Maybe with you. You didn’t hear what he said before you got here.” Alex pointed to the back of the convertible. “Do you want me to leave the top down?”

  “Sure.” Her forehead creased. “Do you think he’ll give us any financial help?”

  “Not much,” he muttered. “Probably j
ust enough to take care of his grandchild. My dad’s big on making me suffer the consequences of my actions.” Alex dropped his voice an octave, imitating Jake. “‘When parents continually bail their children out, it only teaches ‘em they have a safety net, and they’re free to make stupid choices.’”

  “That sounds just like him.” She chuckled softly.

  “He has a problem with kids having things too easy.”

  A lot of his father’s attitude probably had to do with the fact Alex’s mom had grown up super wealthy. As a child, Alex remembered his dad calling his mother a spoiled little rich girl and accusing her of spending money as if she thought he printed it in the basement. Apparently Alex’s mother had gotten as big a high from shopping as she had from popping pills.

  What he found so unbelievable was his parents’ complete role reversal when they split up. Jake had insisted he wanted Roxanne to have half of everything. After she’d been the one to walk out on them.

  Regardless of how much Alex hated his mother, he couldn’t help respecting her for refusing to take so much as a dime from his dad.

  He cocked an eyebrow at Emma. “He just might tell me to forfeit my scholarship and get that full-time job.”

  In some ways, Alex almost hoped his dad would. Then he could stop feeling like such a fraud. The whole world expected another Rocket Manion. Alex would look like a colossal fool when everyone figured out he was nowhere near as good a quarterback as his dad had been.

  Emma combed her fingers through his hair, gazing into his eyes. “I bet your Grandpa Alexander would help us.”

  “Forget it. My grandfather has the same attitude as my dad. He expects me to make it on my own before he hands anything over to me.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “Would you please lay off about her? She’s a selfish bitch who never gave a damn about me. She’s the last person I’d take any help from.”

  Emma stared out the windshield a moment and sighed. “If you ever told me anything about your mother, I wouldn’t have to push you to talk about her.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve only seen her once since I was eleven.”

  Three years ago, his mother had shown up at his graduation from middle school. Alex had given her the brush-off the same way she’d ignored him for three years. Ever since then, his father had been nagging Alex to speak to her. Jake had even let his parenting principles slide and allowed Roxanne to send Alex the luxury sports car for his seventeenth birthday.

  Naturally, his dad had stipulated Alex could only accept the extravagant gift if he wrote his mother a thank you note and, of course, paid for his own fuel for the gas-guzzler.

  He’d figured what the hell? There should be some compensation in life for having no mother. So he’d written her a cutting note, thanking her for her generosity and saying it surprised him she even remembered she had a son, let alone when his birthday was. He’d told her not to bother sending any future gifts because expensive presents didn’t make her a mother.

  “It sounds as if you miss her.” Emma stroked the short hair on the back of his neck, sending a spear of pleasure straight to his groin.

  “I already told you, I don’t want to discuss her.” If he hadn’t had football to alleviate some of his rage, he probably would’ve beaten the crap out of someone by now. Most likely his father for defending her.

  Alex closed his eyes, fighting the urge to pull Emma into his lap. It seemed as if he had a perpetual hard-on, lately. But what really freaked him out was he wanted to jump her twice as much whenever he thought about the woman who’d given birth to him. He must be one sick puppy. His dad’s psychoanalysis would probably be that Alex was afraid Emma would stop loving him, too.

  Hell, maybe he was. It drove him crazy whenever she touched him.

  He caressed her cheek and whispered, “Anyway, if I remember correctly, you’re the one who’s supposed to be doing the talking. Why didn’t you tell me you don’t want to get married?”

  “I never said that. I’m just afraid you won’t be happy. I know we’re both responsible. But I’m the one who’s pregnant. It seems sort of stupid to let this louse things up for both of us.”

  Ah, screw it. He slid his seat back as far as it would go and dragged her over the console on top of him. Wrapping his arms around her, he pressed his face into the soft curve of her neck and murmured, “Is that how you see this, Em—that your life is being loused up?”

  She buried her face in his chest. “No. I want our baby. I’m just scared. I’m worried someday you’ll feel like I ruined your life.”

  “Shhh.” He rained tender kisses over her face. “I’m sorry I got you into this mess.”

  “I bet you’re wishing you never made love to me.” She wiped her eyes.

  “No, Emmy, I could never regret that.” He squeezed her tighter and covered her mouth with his in a deep, searching kiss that quickly changed to frantic nipping and sucking. He ground himself against her soft bottom. Damn, but he wanted her. He couldn’t hack it if he ever lost her.

  He slipped his hand under her skirt and nibbled around her ear, panting. “I love you so much, Angel. Please marry me. I know we can make it work.”

  How? He had no idea. But despite his old man’s doom and gloom predictions, he’d find a way.

  Chapter 3

  Jake waited at the register and watched Maggie out of the corner of his eye. She’d been wearing that exact shade of pink at the party his teammates had thrown for him nineteen years ago. She still had the same creamy complexion and looked even more beautiful with her hair highlighted to a dark blond and cut in a shaggy windblown style that framed her huge blue eyes.

  At some point, she must have gotten contacts. Without her glasses, she appeared as sweet and innocent as when she was seventeen. In fact, she looked more like Emma’s older sister than her mother. The weight she’d put on had settled in all the right places, giving her a womanly lushness she hadn’t had when he’d met her.

  The night she’d told him she was pregnant, he’d held her while she’d slept and spanned her narrow hips with his hand, worrying if she could give birth to a child as big as his might be. What she’d done a few days later had made the size of her pelvis a pointless concern.

  For almost two decades, he’d dreamt of this day and rehearsed over and over in his head what he’d say to her. Now that she stood in front of him, the words wouldn’t come. All he could think about was the way every one of those dreams ended—with her squirming naked beneath him, begging him to take her.

  He leaned his elbows on the cool glass top of the cashier’s counter, searching for something to talk about that wouldn’t stir up a beehive of emotions in him.

  The weather. That was always a nice safe topic. “Can you believe how warm it’s been this year?” he asked. “I’m glad it finally cooled off a little, today.”

  “Me, too. I can’t believe I’m paying for air conditioning already. I’ve wanted to open my windows at night to save on the electric bill, but Emma’s been complaining so much about being hot—” Maggie closed her eyes. “Which the bomb they dropped tonight explains.” Her voice was calm and collected, but the way she avoided his gaze indicated she wasn’t as composed as she would have him think.

  He rolled his eyes. This was ridiculous. “So,”—he smiled—“how did Barbara talk you into moving here?”

  “I was desperate to get out of Houston. Even though the FAA cleared Dan of any pilot error, the families who’d lost loved ones still acted as if he’d been at fault.”

  “You weren’t worried about Emma changing schools her senior year?”

  “Of course I was, but she was depressed and insisted she wanted out of Texas. Barb pointed out a town with a sign that says Welcome to Redemption—A stone’s throw from New Hope and less than two hours to Paradise would be a great place to get away from our memories.”

  His chuckle warped into a cynical snort. “Instead, you ended up with your worst memory teaching your daughter�
�and his kid dating her.”

  “I wouldn’t call you my worst memory. My ruptured appendix five years ago ranks pretty high on things I’d like to forget.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And as for worrying about Emma, it wasn’t as if we’d never moved before. Dan accepted transfers every year or two.”

  “That’s really tough on a kid.” He offered her a mint from the bowl on the counter. “So it seems you didn’t end up going to medical school after all.”

  She shook her head, refusing the nugget of peppermint. “That was my mother’s dream, not mine. I’m a reading specialist at the middle school.”

  “You mentioned it on the phone once.”

  “I thought we were going to discuss what to do about our kids’ situation?”

  Obviously, she didn’t want to get into their past anymore than he did. “I think that should wait another fifteen minutes until we get to my house where there’ll be no distractions.”

  “Unlike you, I’m having a little more trouble staying composed. Right now, I’d like to castrate your son.”

  “You mean I’m not on your hit list, too?”

  “Oh, did I fail to mention you’re at the top of it?”

  “Believe me, I’m as upset as you are. I simply think it’ll be more productive to wait to hash this out at my place when we can devote our full attention to the problem.”

  She nodded her agreement, but the tension in her spine suggested she’d rather face the gallows than step foot in his home.

  Their common ground as teachers was the perfect topic to fill the time together without pushing each other’s hot buttons. “I guess since you only see a few select students each year you probably aren’t familiar with one of the eighth-graders I’m interested in.”

  “I might be.” She shrugged offhandedly. “I also teach two sections of reading enrichment to the main student body. The course is aimed at improving their reading speed and comprehension in order to bolster their study skills before they move up to the high school.”