A Little Bit of Déjà Vu

by Laurie Kellogg

  “I have a proposition to make.”

  “Really?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “This could get interesting.”

  Heat crept up her neck. Wasn’t the tension from their situation wearing on his nerves, too? His levity—lewd though it might be—was a welcome respite. “I’m talking about a deal between us.”

  “Damn.” He snapped his fingers. “Okay. I’m listening.”

  “I’ll recommend promoting Simon to the high school if you’ll make his participation on the team conditional on him working out with you and tutoring with me several times a week this summer. I think his biggest problem is poor self-esteem.”

  “It’ll have to be an informal workout at my house. It’s against the rules for me to hold preseason training sessions more than twenty-five days before our first official game.”

  “That’s fine. I don’t care if he even touches a football. I’m simply hoping you can use a little of your psychology training to help boost Simon’s confidence and make him more receptive to my teaching.”

  “Deal.” Jake held out his hand to shake. “You know it might help if you used some sports magazines instead of a fifth grade primer to teach him.”

  “Duhhh.” She smacked her forehead. “If only I’d thought of assigning something that actually interested him. Simon could’ve been reading War and Peace by now.”

  One corner of Jake’s mouth turned up. “I guess I just made an ass of myself, huh?” He shrugged one of his he-man shoulders. “Nothing new.” Linking his callused fingers with hers, he tugged her toward the hall. “Come on, I’ll give you the twenty-five cent tour.”

  He led her down the corridor at the end of the family room to three spacious bedrooms. The first one looked as if the movie Twister had been filmed in it. She picked up a dirty sock from the back of the desk chair and wrinkled her nose. “Your son is delusional if he thinks my daughter will put up with living in a pigsty like this.”

  “Good. Maybe he’ll clean up his act.”

  She wouldn’t mention that, up until the previous fall, Emma’s room had looked nearly as bad. Then she’d met Alex.

  After showing her the two guest rooms, Jake guided her to the double doors at the end of the hall and into the lavish master suite, obviously designed and decorated with seduction in mind.

  A see-through fireplace separated the large sitting area from the bedroom, which had a huge whirlpool tub situated near the door to the luxurious bathroom. The romantic suite inspired the mental image of a steamy bubble bath in front of a roaring fire, giving birth to an envious moan Jake couldn’t help but hear. Her cheeks blazed when he moved closer as if he too imagined soaking in the huge tub together.

  Her good sense must have flown the coop. Why else would she have let him maneuver her into his bedroom thirty seconds after entering his home?

  “The house is beautiful. I love all the little extra built-ins.”

  “My builder, Ben Danvers, gets the credit for that.”

  She strolled to the bed and dragged her hand over the gray satin comforter and studied the drapes’ geometric silver and plum pattern. Now she understood why her daughter was so impressed with the house. The plush carpet made marshmallows seem hard, and everywhere she turned, she found some upscale amenity. “If this is only the twenty-five cent tour, I don’t want to know what I’d see for a buck.”

  “Oh, that tour would include my playroom in the basement.”

  “Your playroom?” Wonderful. He probably had an S&M sex dungeon in the basement.

  “Yeah. There’s a weight room and gym with all sorts of workout equipment. And the rec room has ping-pong, pool, and air-hockey tables with a couple of computer gaming systems. I’ve always figured the best way to prevent my kid from getting into trouble is to keep him and his friends where I can keep tabs on them.”

  A lot of good that had done with Alex and her daughter.

  “Well, Emma didn’t exaggerate. Your house is gorgeous, and very tastefully decorated.”

  “I can’t take credit for the décor, either,” Jake said as he led her back to the kitchen. “A lady friend helped me.”

  “I thought you had no life.”

  “Uhh—I don’t really. It’s complicated.”

  In other words, he didn’t want to discuss his relationship with the woman.

  He pulled a pitcher out of the refrigerator while Margie poked her head into the laundry room and saw a door she assumed led to the three attached garages she’d seen from the outside. It pained her to admit it, but Emma would be crazy not to prefer living in a home like Jake’s.

  The grinding of the ice dispenser sliced through the quiet kitchen as he filled two glasses. “Emma talks about her father quite a lot. She seems to really miss him.”

  “Well, she was her daddy’s girl. If the crash hadn’t killed Dan, Emma’s pregnancy would have.” Especially since she was carrying Alex’s baby. Sharing a grandchild with Margie’s ex-lover would’ve been the end of Dan’s sanity.

  The scent of fresh lemon tickled her nose as Jake handed her one of the glasses of iced tea. “It makes me wonder if losing her dad might have had something to do with her pregnancy. A lack of a paternal affection frequently pushes girls into becoming sexually active. And for one reason or another, quite often teens subconsciously want to get pregnant.”

  Margie’s own father had walked out when she was just a baby. Had Jake believed the same thing about her nineteen years ago? She narrowed her gaze. “Are you suggesting my daughter deliberately let herself get—”

  “No, please, that’s not what I meant.” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m including Alex in that statement. A lot of teens unconsciously screw up their lives on purpose. For that matter, not just kids—adults do the same thing. The subject of my dissertation is Methods of Identifying Adolescents and Young Adults Prone to Self-sabotage and Means of Intervention.”

  Their history was making her overly sensitive.

  “Creating a crisis situation gives a kid an excuse to fail or a reason to avoid whatever he doesn’t want to face. It can also be a way to punish his parents or even himself.”

  “But sometimes it’s just purely accidental, right?”

  “Sure,” he admitted. “Except, more than three-quarters of a million teens get pregnant every year. That seems like way too many to be just a bunch of mishaps—especially nowadays with all the information and contraception available.”

  He smiled down at her and sighed. “All I’m saying is sometimes there are hidden reasons behind our major blunders. Hell, I was so freaked out about getting married I jumped into bed with you six weeks before my wedding.”

  If she’d had any sense, she would’ve shoved him right back out of that bed on his gorgeous behind.

  Staring up at him, she gnawed on her lower lip. “I suppose now you’re going to claim I let you seduce me because I wanted to punish my mother for trying to control my life.”

  He tipped her chin up as his half-lidded gaze studied her mouth, and he whispered, “Well, didn’t you?”

  Okay. So maybe she did. But rehashing their painful past wouldn’t resolve their kids’ situation. The faster they settled how to handle them, the sooner she could go home.

  ~~~

  Damn, but he wanted to kiss her. Jake stared at Maggie’s soft pout and every drop of blood fled his brain. He hadn’t experienced this kind of burning need for a woman in years. Why did she have to be the one who stoked his fire?

  He gritted his teeth, resisting the intense urge to pull her into his arms. “Emma told me her father was already an airline pilot before she was born.” His voice grated from his parched throat. “He must’ve been quite a bit older than you.”

  “Fifteen years.”

  Bingo. She’d wanted a father instead of a husband. Had Maggie gotten pregnant right away because she’d felt guilty about their baby? It wasn’t unusual for a girl to deliberately conceive again after an abortion.

  Her silence made it clear she didn�
��t care to explain the circumstances of her marriage.

  He led her into the family room and placed their drinks on the coffee table. Once she settled on the couch, he sank onto the cushion next to her. “So what do you think we should do about the kids?”

  “What can we do?” She sighed. “You heard Alex. If they’re determined to get married, we can’t stop them.” She looked over at Jake and pursed her lips. “Do you think either of them has any idea how much their lives will change once they become parents?”

  Was that why she’d ended her pregnancy? Had she suddenly realized her life would no longer be her own?

  “No, Maggie. I don’t think anyone has a clue until it actually happens. It takes that first night pacing the floor with a sick baby before it hits you your life will never be the same.”

  “You’re right. Ever since Emma was born, I haven’t been able to listen to the news without thanking God it isn’t my daughter they’re talking about. When Leah Sutton was killed in the accident with her boyfriend, I wanted to lock Emma in her room and never let her into Alex’s car again.”

  “Maybe you should’ve.” He snorted. “They might not have gotten into this mess.” He stared at his sweating glass on the table. “I guess the thing that shocked me most about becoming a father was discovering how little my own happiness suddenly mattered.”

  “I know. Emma thinks she loves Alex now.” Maggie sighed. “She hasn’t an inkling of how much that love will grow once she sees him fall asleep rocking their child.”

  Jake’s chest ached at the thought of the baby he’d never had the chance to hold. And now they were going to share a grandchild. Somehow he had to get past his bitterness. Except even the hours of therapy his clinical training required hadn’t done a thing to rid him of his resentment.

  Despite his feelings toward Maggie, all he’d been able to think about since she walked into the diner was stripping her naked and burying himself inside her. Only a masochist would still ache for a woman who’d caused him so much heartache.

  He swallowed hard past the pain clogging his throat. “For Alex, that revelation will be when he comes home to dinner burning because Emma’s too busy playing peek-a-boo.”

  Margie’s mouth quirked into a half smile. “Dan ended up ordering a lot of take-out while Emma was a baby.” She glanced over at him as he picked up both glasses from the table and handed her one. “So what’d you mean when you asked what I thought we should do about the kids?”

  He took a long swallow of his iced tea. “What I’m struggling with is how easy to make this for them. The father in me wants to buy them a house near the campus and hire live-in help so Em can go to school and devote herself to the baby and Alex. But the psychologist half of me says the kids won’t ever mature if we coddle them.”

  “You’re right. The more help we give them, the less reason they’ll have to grow up.”

  “And, with a baby on the way, that sure isn’t something they can take their time doing.”

  She absently circled her finger over the rim of her glass. “I just hate to see Alex give up a chance at a professional football career. And I really want Em to go to college.”

  “That’s all going to happen, Rosebud.” Before his endearment finished passing his lips, he cursed himself. The hitch in her breath said she’d noticed that, despite his bitterness, he’d never been able to stop thinking of her that way.

  He continued quickly, hoping to distract her. “Naturally, we won’t tell the kids that. I want them to have to work. Especially since my ex-father-in-law has plans to groom Alex to eventually take over Warrington Enterprises. I’d like my son to have the satisfaction of making it on his own before he gets so much handed to him.”

  Jake pursed his lips, considering several ways they could motivate the kids. “How does this sound to you? I’ll match every dollar the kids come up with. And any expense for Emma’s tuition or books, I’ll pay for outright. That should give them some incentive, don’t you think?”

  She set her iced tea on the coaster. “I’ve put money away for Em’s education from Dan’s life insurance. The airline took good care of us.”

  “Look, Maggie, if my son marries Emma, her schooling should be his responsibility.” Hell, for a few awful moments earlier that evening, Jake had thought she could be his daughter. “I guess Em got her gray eyes and dark hair from her dad, huh?”

  Maggie squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. “You may not remember him, but you met Dan. He was the copilot on the flight we took back to San Francisco. He recognized you from the Sports Illustrated cover the week you were chosen as the NFL’s first draft pick and asked you for your autograph for his neighbor’s son.”

  Reaching back into his memory, Jake winced inwardly at a renewed stab of jealousy. He’d hated the way the good-looking copilot had teased and flirted with Maggie and how she’d smiled at the lecher.

  She shifted next to him on the sofa. “Do you remember him?”

  “Vaguely,” he lied, propping a foot on the coffee table. “How’d you hook up with him?”

  “After the way my mother treated me, I couldn’t take living with her. So as soon as I graduated, I left home and ran into Dan again at the airport.”

  Perhaps the sparks Jake had detected between her and Bradford had succeeded where his arguments had failed to convince her she’d misinterpreted lust for love. If she’d been that attracted to the man, her feelings for Jake couldn’t have been all that deep.

  Her speedy marriage proved she hadn’t aborted Jake’s baby because she hadn’t been ready for marriage and a family. She simply hadn’t wanted to marry him.

  “You two must’ve gotten serious pretty fast to have had Emma so soon.”

  “I wanted to get as far away from my mother as possible after I left, so I went to the airport with the plan of getting on a standby flight to L.A.”

  “Why Los Angeles?”

  “It was the cheapest place I could go that was too far away for my mother to find me. So meeting Dan again that day was like having my fairy godfather appear. When I told him my situation, he offered to fly me back to New Jersey and let me stay with him until I found a job.”

  “Fairy godfather?” Jake sputtered. “Cut me a break. The guy had a decade and a half on you and wanted to get into your pants. Please don’t tell me you were gullible enough to think he wanted to adopt you.”

  “No.” She chuckled. “I knew exactly what his agenda was. Dan nearly swallowed his tongue when I told him I’d just turned eighteen. He’d assumed I was about as old as you since you’d introduced me as your fiancée.” She rolled her eyes. “You of all people should understand how he could’ve made that mistake.”

  True. She’d seemed awfully mature. “You’re lucky he turned out to be such an honorable guy.”

  “I guess.” She shrugged. “My gut told me he wasn’t the sort of man to force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for.”

  Jake narrowed his gaze. “Meaning—I was?”

  “No, that’s not what I meant.”

  “Sorry.” He sipped his iced tea. “I guess that was just my guilty conscience rearing its ugly head.”

  Had Maggie at least felt a twinge of remorse when she held Emma the first time? It astounded him that the woman who’d been responsible for driving Roxanne over the edge with jealousy was about to become his son’s mother-in-law.

  He couldn’t begin to count the nights he’d dreamed about seeing Maggie again. Except in his fantasies, they didn’t just sit and talk like this. In his most frequent dream, he carried her into the bedroom, brought her to the brink, and left her sobbing her need for him.

  Another scenario had him banging her brains out against the wall and then casting her aside. For the first year of his marriage, he’d repeatedly punished Maggie in his sleep and tortured himself and Roxanne in the process.

  The tightness in his jeans now proved what a true sicko he was.

  Then again, maybe a few nights in Maggie’s bed were just what he needed to en
d his twisted obsession. Although, after nineteen long years, it would most likely exacerbate the problem. Making love to her would either cure him or kill him.

  ~~~

  Margie bit her lip, stung by Jake’s attack on her husband’s character. She refused to boost his ego, telling him how she’d burst into tears when she’d seen the news coverage of his wedding while sitting in the airport that day, and how Dan had held her and comforted her all afternoon.

  It hadn’t escaped her notice when Jake reminded his son that he hoped to reconcile with Alex’s mother. Roxanne’s picture on the mantel testified to how much Jake must still love her.

  “Your ex-wife is beautiful.” She gestured toward the fireplace. “Maybe our grandchild will inherit her gorgeous red hair.”

  “I suppose it’s possible. But I’m sure a shared grandchild isn’t what your cousin had in mind when she orchestrated our reunion.”

  “No, I think it was an attempt to atone for her past sins.”

  “By matchmaking?” He snorted, obviously finding the idea as preposterous as she did.

  Too many years had passed, and Margie had been hurt too much to ever consider getting involved with Jake again. Not to mention, she could never betray Dan by having an affair with the man who’d inspired so much jealousy. She’d never forget the hurt in Dan’s eyes several years after they were married when he discovered the copies of Sports Illustrated hidden in her bottom dresser drawer with Jake’s picture on every single one.

  She rasped past the lump in her throat, “I never expected you to have a son Alex’s age.”

  Roxanne’s pregnancy must have been the reason Jake ignored the certified letter Margie sent, explaining her abortion. When she called him to tell him about their baby, she was groggy from the sedative. Jake hung up on her before she had a chance to fully explain. Her mistake had been waiting until she was clearheaded the following morning to call him back—after her mother had thrown out his unlisted phone number.

  Less than a week later, the green delivery confirmation postcard arrived with his signature, leaving no doubt he’d received her letter. Perhaps, by then, he’d learned Roxanne was expecting.