A Little Bit of Déjà Vu

by Laurie Kellogg

  “Are you okay?” He peered into her face. “You look pale. Do you need to sit down?”

  “I think I’d better. I didn’t eat much today.”

  He tipped his head and studied her. “Is that why you’ve lost weight? You’re not eating?”

  “My stomach hasn’t been right. When I finally get hungry, I’m too tired to fix anything more elaborate than a sandwich.”

  “All that could mean you’re pregnant, Rosebud.” He led her over to an empty table in the food court. “Have you had your period since the wedding?”

  “Pregnant?” She stared at him, her mouth hanging open as she sank into the seat.

  “Yes, pregnant. P-R-E-G-N—”

  “I know how to spell it!”

  “I didn’t use a condom the night the kids got married.”

  She’d never thought about it. Dan and she had wanted another child so much that birth control hadn’t been an issue since Emma turned five. “If you recall, I was a little tipsy that night. How could you, of all people, not use anything?”

  “How? You were no drunker than I was, Baby-cakes.” He cocked an eyebrow at her as he sank into the seat across from her. “And do you by any chance remember what you were doing to me right before we....consummated?”

  Her cheeks flamed.

  “Yes.” He smiled tightly. “I see you do. You’ll have to excuse me that, between the champagne and what your mouth was doing, I wasn’t thinking very clearly.” He laid his hand over hers on the table. “When was you’re period due?”

  With all the upheaval in her life, she hadn’t given it much thought. “Uhh—let me think. The last time I got it was the night after the kids told us Emma was pregnant.”

  “You mean the day before you told me off for accusing you of having PMS?”

  “Okay, so you were right.”

  “That was exactly two weeks before we slept together.” He peered into her face. “Nineteen years ago, you told me you were irregular. Dare I hope you still are?”

  The few occasions she’d been more than two days late for her period were the same times she’d been pregnant and miscarried sometime between seven and nine weeks later.

  “Since I had Emma, my body’s run like a clock.”

  She didn’t want to acknowledge she might be carrying Jake’s child. Not when she would most likely lose it like all the rest of her babies.

  He scrubbed his face with his hand. “Then I guess we can safely assume you’re three and a half weeks pregn—”

  “Actually, doctors count from a woman’s last period, so it’s more like five and a half.”

  His face turned parchment white as he stared over her shoulder. “Oh, shit.”

  “What’s the matter?” She spun around to face a woman smiling at them like a tabloid reporter at a UFO sighting. Obviously the woman had overheard their conversation. Margie turned back to Jake, who’d risen from his seat, and whispered, “Who is that?”

  “Debbie Carmichael.” He pursed his lips, helped Margie to her feet, and led her out of range of the woman’s hearing. “As I told you, the board wants a few questions answered before the executive session to decide on my tenure. The board meeting is tomorrow night.”

  “I know. I’m submitting a proposal for the school to fund a parents’ book club, and it’s being put on the agenda tomorrow night. So I have to go, too.”

  “Well, Petrillo called me yesterday and told me Carmichael is now claiming I lied on my employment application.”

  “About what?”

  “He didn’t say. I don’t know what the bastard’s planning to use against me.” Jake glanced over his shoulder back at Mrs. Carmichael. “But I think I just gave his wife a few more nails for my coffin.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing I can do about it now. So let’s get back to our situation. I suggest we get married.”

  Obviously, he wanted to avoid a scandal just as he had the last time, and once again, he was prepared to martyr himself.

  She squeezed her eyes shut a moment and summoned up the strength to turn down the man she’d stupidly fallen in love with—again. “You must think I’m completely loony. Nineteen years ago, you convinced me the press would have a feeding frenzy on you if I didn’t marry you. Well, I’m not saying I do just to save your stinking job that you plan to quit in a few years, anyway.”

  “Maggie, I didn’t ask you to marry me back then just to protect my ass, nor am I asking you to do that now. I simply used that argument so I could be a father to my child—just like I want to today.”

  She blinked back the tears welling in her eyes. She had to get out of there before she lost it. “Forget it.” She stomped away and called back over her shoulder as she headed toward the escalator. “If things go the way I expect them to, in another few weeks there won’t be any baby to worry about.”

  ~~~

  Jake stared at Maggie’s back as she dashed into the crowd. She wouldn’t do it again, would she? A hard lump formed in the pit of his stomach. “Maggie, get back here!”

  She rode down the escalator and ignored him. He’d be damned if he’d allow her to abort another of his children.

  As intimidated as he was by the idea of becoming a father again at his age, he also couldn’t help but be pleased. He’d always wanted more kids. Somehow he had to convince Maggie to marry him.

  Their lives might have been so different if only he’d had more time to strengthen the tenuous bond they’d begun to form nineteen years ago. He’d never understood how Maggie could let her mother push her into the abortion after that incredible weekend they’d spent together.

  The pain twisted in his chest now with the same intensity as the day she’d called to tell him. He’d arrived home that Monday afternoon and found a note from his dad on the table telling him Roxanne’s return home had been delayed until Wednesday.

  At nine-thirty that evening, Jake hung up from two lengthy phone calls—the first with the head coach of his new team and the second with Chris. Almost as soon as he replaced the receiver in its cradle, the phone rang again.

  “Hello, this is Katherine Hunter. I’m sorry to call so late. May I speak with Jake?”

  “This is Jake. Is something wrong with Maggie?”

  “Could you hold for just a moment?”

  His stomach churned while he paced the kitchen. Something was wrong. After several agonizing minutes, Maggie’s mother finally returned to the phone. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. We’ve been trying to call you for quite a while. Margaret will be with you in just a minute. The sedative has made her a little woozy.”

  He froze in his tracks. “What would possess you to let a pregnant woman take a sedative? You’re a nurse, damn it.”

  “Well, that’s why I’m calling. My daughter had a change of heart and had an abortion this afternoon. The doctor gave her a prescription to help her sleep.”

  Jake dropped into the nearest chair and held his hand over his mouth, stifling a sob. How could Maggie do that after everything they’d planned?

  “Jacob, are you there? There seems to be a lot of static on the line. Did you understand what I said?”

  “Yes, I understood perfectly what you said.”

  Squeezing his eyes shut, he fought to hold back his tears. How had that bitch convinced Maggie to destroy their baby after the hours they’d spent holding and touching each other on Saturday night?

  After she’d told him she loved him.

  “So you see,” her mother continued, “there’s no reason for you to come back here. Margaret can go to the university in the fall like she’d planned.”

  He struggled to swallow past the tightness in his throat. “Yes, I guess she can. That’ll be good for her.”

  “I agree. Oh—here she is now.”

  “Jake?” Maggie sniffled. “My mother told you about the baby?”

  “Yeah, she told me all right.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

  “It’s over, Rosebud. Put
it behind you.”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “This is better for you in the long run, Maggie. I’m sorry I put you in the position I did.” The lump in his throat made his voice crack. “I gotta go. Take care of yourself.” He hung up and buried his face in his hands.

  He’d felt so great on Sunday morning when the woman on the plane had congratulated him on Maggie’s pregnancy. He’d really begun to feel like an expectant father.

  She must have had serious second thoughts about marrying him. First ones, too, for that matter. From the beginning, Maggie had been full of misgivings that her mother had undoubtedly fed once he’d left San Francisco.

  He slammed his fist into the doorframe next to the phone and then stared at the blood oozing from his split knuckle. The ache in his heart completely eclipsed the pain in his hand, making him physically numb.

  Terrific. He’d be lucky if he hadn’t broken it. His dad could be right. Maybe he really was subconsciously trying to screw up his career.

  Maggie had argued with him when he’d first proposed, but it hadn’t seemed as if he’d been pushing her into something she hadn’t wanted. He’d taken the decision out of her hands, telling her they had no alternative but to get married, but in reality she’d had another option.

  And regardless of what he or her mother had said to her, it was Maggie who’d ultimately made the choice.

  ~~~

  Margie pulled up in front of her condo just before sunset. Jake swung into the parking space right next to her Camry and got out of his car. She climbed out of her vehicle and slammed its door. “Leave me alone.”

  Jake pressed her back against the fender and tipped her chin up. “Marry me, Rosebud. Doesn’t the fact we still set each other on fire after all these years prove we belong together?”

  “I told you once before, I’m not making the same mistake again of confusing—”

  “Love for passion?” He rubbed his face in her hair and whispered, “Tell me something. Do you remember those two nights I snuck into your room at my home nineteen years ago? The ones when we didn’t have sex. When it was all about discovering each other?”

  Did she remember? What an asinine question. What did Jake think had given her the silly notion he’d fallen for her? Did he really consider her so gullible she would believe he might care now, when she’d personally heard him tell Roxanne he loved her?

  “What do you think confused me then and now?”

  Jake dotted her face with kisses while he ran his fingers through her hair and murmured, “Sweetheart, we have the kind of passion most couples only fantasize about.”

  She had no resistance to his tender seduction. Her mouth opened under his and their tongues began an intimate dance while he ran his palms up the back of her legs and under her skirt. Cupping her bottom, he pulled her tightly to his arousal and lifted her. He pressed her back against her car and ground himself into her, making her wish their clothes would simply disappear.

  The sound of an engine penetrated her daze, followed by a loud cough. “That’s some talk you’re having with Emma’s mom.”

  Jake recoiled from her as if he were spring-loaded.

  Alex hung out the window of the Explorer and said in the same cynical tone his father had used with him six weeks before, “Maybe I ought to sell tickets. It could help support you when the school board fires you tomorrow night.”

  Jake glowered at him.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” Alex’s mouth twisted into self-satisfied smile. “Adults do not stand around parking lots swapping spit. If you can’t exercise some self-control, you should at least take it inside.”

  Emma leaned across Alex and called, “Gee, it’s terrible when your words come back to haunt you, isn’t it, Mr. M? How’s it—”

  “Don’t.” Alex put a hand on Emma’s shoulder to stop her.

  Margie glared at the kids. Jake’s son wasn’t just throwing his father’s words back at him. He was rubbing his dad’s face right in them.

  “You’re not funny.” Jake curled his lip. “Why are you here?”

  “We just finished at the doctor, and Emma had a craving for some pistachio ice cream. We stopped by to see if Em’s mom wants to go to Friendly’s with us.”

  “Why, yes. I’d love to.” Margie pushed past Jake. “In fact, I think I’ll have a burger first. I’m starving.”

  Climbing into the back seat of the Explorer, she glared at Jake. “I don’t need any more pain in my life. If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll be forced to get a restraining order. I think a complaint for stalking will pale in comparison to anything Dr. Carmichael might have on you.”

  ~~~

  On the way to the ice cream parlor Emma’s silent scowl made it clear she expected some sort of explanation about Margie’s public display of affection—or in the kids’ vernacular, PDA. Unfortunately, Margie would need the combined talents of Clarence Darrow, F. Lee Bailey, and Perry Mason to talk her way out of this one.

  “How do you think Daddy would feel about you letting his rival paw you like that?” Emma finally asked several minutes later.

  If she had to guess, she imagined Dan was probably petitioning St. Peter to raise him from the dead so he could beat the crap out of Jake.

  “You’re not a child, Emma, so stop behaving like one.”

  “I’m not. One minute you tell me you don’t want anything to do with Alex’s dad, and—”

  “And the next, I’m kicking myself for letting him get under my skin. I’m a thirty-seven year old woman in her sexual prime. And I’m all alone.”

  “Ewww. Way too much information.” Emma stuck her fingers in her ears as Alex’s reflection in the rearview mirror bit back a smile.

  “Oh, grow up!” Margie braced herself on the seat as the Explorer turned into Friendly’s parking lot a bit faster than she expected. “I miss your father, and I miss being held. If you understood anything about passion, you’d know a person isn’t always attracted to someone who’s suitable or good for them.”

  “Well, that’s certainly the case here, isn’t it?”

  Her daughter had no idea. Emma would really go off the deep end if she found out Jake had gotten Margie pregnant.

  “Look, I know you’re in hormone hell right now, and it’s been a tough year for you. But it’s time for you to come to terms with the fact your dad is gone. I’m not planning to live like a nun for the rest of my life. I hope to one day fall in love and get married again. So deal with it.”

  Emma stared out the window, her soft sniffle indicating she was crying. “I’m sorry. I know how lonely you must be since I moved out. That’s why we came to invite you for ice cream tonight.”

  “And I appreciate it. Thank you.” Margie pulled a tissue from her purse and held it out to Emma. “But if you and Alex plan to accept his dad’s hospitality and support in the future, he’s entitled to a lot more respect from both of you. As am I.”

  Alex turned off the ignition. “You’re right. We’re really sorry. We shouldn’t have busted you that way.”

  “You’re both forgiven. Now—let’s talk about something more pleasant. How was your check-up, Em?”

  Alex got out and opened the rear door for Margie and then trotted around the SUV to help Emma out. “I’m not sure that’s a better subject, Mom. Dr. Brennan was a little concerned by Em’s blood pressure and how much water she’s retaining.”

  “Exactly how worried is he?”

  “He just told me to stay off my feet,” Emma explained as they strolled into the ice cream parlor, “and to cut as much salt out of my diet as possible. He wants to check my blood pressure again on Friday.” She smiled and shrugged. “I figured since ice cream is low in sodium, it’s a great time to splurge.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Once they were seated in the restaurant, Alex excused himself to use the restroom. Margie studied her daughter’s tense face across the booth and squeezed her hand. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She found it find it
hard to believe her daughter was this upset over what happened with Jake. “As Daddy used to say, you look like you just flunked out on life.”

  “I’m worried about you. Why won’t you tell me what the deal is with Alex’s dad?”

  “Because there is no deal with Alex’s dad,” she lied. “Stop worrying about me. I’m okay.”

  Pregnant but quite sane.

  Emma still looked anxious.

  “There’s something else eating at you. Are you worried because the doctor said he wants to see you again?”

  “No.” Her daughter sighed.

  “Then what?”

  “Mommy, ever since I started wearing maternity clothes, I feel like Alex doesn’t want me anymore.”

  Margie bit her lip to suppress a smile. “Honey, Alex has a lot on his plate right now. I promise you it’s got nothing to do with your waist getting thicker. After a couple of weeks of marriage, things start to settle in between a couple.”

  “But it was such a sudden change. From the moment he saw me in the maternity top on Monday, he’s been really quiet. The past two nights he’s gone right to sleep. I feel like maybe he’s sorry he married me.”

  When Alex returned to the table, he was as loving and indulgent as ever toward her daughter, but Margie could also see the silent distraction Emma referred to.

  Something was definitely troubling him.

  Chapter 17

  Alex listened with half an ear to his mother-in-law and Emma chatter about the baby all the way back to Maggie’s condo after their trip to the ice cream parlor.

  “So? What do you think?” Emma shook his arm to get his attention.

  “Huh? About what?”

  “What we’ve been talking about, Silly.”

  If he knew what the hell that was, he’d tell her what he thought. He spun the SUV into an empty parking space in front of Maggie’s door. “Whatever you think is right, Angel.”

  “It’s not a question of right. It’s a question of which name you like.”

  Name? She wanted him to worry about a damn name, now, when he had so much else on his mind? “I can’t think about that right now, Em.”

  Maggie opened the rear door of the Explorer. “Alex, would you mind coming in for a moment and helping me turn my mattress?”