Love to Hate You

by Jo Watson

  Ben smiled. “So you want to marry me too now? This is getting more and more interesting by the second.”

  “No! I didn’t say that.” My face was suddenly on fire and my forehead felt clammy. “Well, I did say it. But I said it as a joke.”

  “Don’t they say many a true word is spoken in jest?”

  “Yes. But don’t they also say stuff like the proof is in the pudding and two birds in the bush is like one in the hand or something. Those make no sense.”

  Ben laughed. “Beauty, brains and a sense of humor. It’s a deadly combination.” Then Ben’s smile was gone and he was suddenly looking at me very earnestly. “Well, I’m sorry to let you know, but marriage and a baby are definitely off the cards—”

  “I know! I know.” I nodded my head furiously. “Of course! I totally know that!”

  “Call me mad, but I usually prefer to do that kind of stuff after the women has agreed to go on a date with me first.”

  “U-u-u-h …” My mouth opened to say something, but I had no thoughts. None! I closed my mouth and his eyes drifted down to my lips, stunning me into a silent stupor.

  “You are still thinking about it, aren’t you?” he took a step closer. My eyes drifted down to his mouth and stayed there. He had the sexiest mouth, especially when it was all over my body.

  I gave the tiniest head nod and then followed that up with a little shake. Nod again. Shake. Nod. Shake. It was as if my subconscious was controlling my head and the internal battle it was waging was coming out.

  “That’s okay, Sera. Take your time,” he said as I started inching my way for the door. “But I do expect to see you on the plane when we leave for the shoot though.”

  I nodded at this and then launched myself at the door handle.

  “Max, by the way,” Ben called out as I was just about to exit, “I’ve always fancied a son called Max.”

  29. Dirty and Devilish And Delicious …

  I could barely think about anything else that night at work … Ben, our imaginary son Max, our upcoming royal nuptials, that sexy black suit he’d worn. But when I saw that same black suit enter the restaurant later that night, a flutter of panic gripped me. I watched from the sidelines as he slid into a seat. His table was in my section, he probably knew that already. I walked over to him as calmly and professionally as I could.

  “Hi.” I placed the menu down on his table.

  “Hi, Sera.” He looked up at me. “I’m not here to eat anything, just to have a celebratory drink with you. The client loved your idea.”

  “It wasn’t really my idea,” I quickly said.

  “Of course it was. So how about two Vodka Cranberries?” He winked at me.

  “I’m working, so I can’t really drink on the job.”

  Ben raised an eyebrow and looked around the room. “Please, this hardly seems like the kind of establishment that cares about that shit.”

  I stifled a smile. He was right. Having a friendly drink here and there with the patrons was almost a prerequisite. I left him and came back with one Vodka Cranberry.

  “So you’re going to leave me to celebrate alone?” he put on a sad puppy dog look.

  I shrugged. “There are other tables, you know.” I started walking away but Ben got up and blocked me.

  “Seriously, we’re leaving to shoot in Namibia on Thursday. It’s only for three nights, we’ll be back on Sunday. It’s going to be amazing, you have to come.”

  I sighed. “I’ll go on one more condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “You remain totally, one hundred percent professional at all times. If you keep acting this way, people at work will start thinking that you and I … you know?”

  “Had fucking incredible sex.”

  My eyes widened and I cleared my throat. “Something like that.”

  “Exactly like that,” Ben said in a husky sotto tone that made my toes tingle.

  “And done,” he said.

  “Done?”

  “I shall be the consummate professional on this trip.” He downed his drink, reached into his pants and pulled out his wallet. He grabbed a note, far too much for the one drink, and slapped it down on the table. “I won’t try and sneak into your room at night, I will definitely not feel you up secretly under the table or look at you and imagine you naked and think about you at night just before I go to sleep.”

  “Uh … um …” I stumbled. “Glad to hear it.”

  “As long as you promise to do the same.” He took a step closer.

  I tisked loudly. “I don’t do stuff like that.”

  “Oh please. I’ve seen the way you look at me at work sometimes.”

  “That’s just your over-inflated ego imagining things.”

  A slow, deadly smile swept across his face. It was dirty and devilish and delicious. “You know, no one has ever spoken to me the way you do.”

  I shrugged. “What can I say, your charms don’t work on me.”

  He took another step forward until his chest touched mine and his nose was an inch away from my face. I no longer had knees. “We both know that’s not true, is it, Sera?” His eyes floated down to my lips and they burned.

  “Mmmmm …” A nervous moan escaped my strangled throat. “I really have to work now.” I backed away but he reached out and stopped me with a hand around my wrist. I looked down at my wrist, his fingers tightened and he pulled me towards him. I gasped when my chest pressed into his once more.

  “Good night then, Sera.” And then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. I closed my eyes briefly and drank in his scent. So damn hot! If I could bottle it and sell it to other women I would be rich.

  “G-g-good night.” I finally managed to get the words out as he pulled away from me and walked to the door.

  “Wait. You need change,” I called after him while scrambling for his change. He waved a hand at me as if to say “no” which I wasn’t very happy about. He turned and continued to walk towards the door, but just before exiting he stopped and turned around once more. His eyes met mine and he mouthed something.

  I leaned in and tried to make it out. Was it …? It was …? What was he saying …?

  “You are totally falling in love with me.”

  I shook my head at him and mouthed the word “No” as clearly as I could. He gave me one last smile before disappearing out the door.

  30. I Don’t Need To Eat …

  I didn’t see Ben at all after that night at work, apart from a few walk-bys he’d made in between meetings in preparation for the shoot. I’d wanted to give him his change, from the night he’d bought the drink. I didn’t think an $88 tip on a $12 drink was appropriate, and I didn’t take charity from people either. But the week passed in such a crazy frenzy of working during the day and then all night too, that I hadn’t been able to give it back to him. So when Thursday finally arrived I was exhausted.

  I arrived at the airport about an hour and a half early. I’d been so nervous the night before I’d barely slept. I wandered around the airport trying to decide whether to eat breakfast, read a magazine, or shoot myself. I decided on none of those and instead headed into a candy store and grabbed a slab of chocolate. I ripped the paper off and took a big bite and instantly felt better.

  “Sera?” I heard Becks call out and turned to see her and Angie walking towards me. Behind them were a few people from production I barely recognized, a copywriter art director team I knew and someone else I’d never seen before.

  I saw more movement to my left and turned. Another person was walking towards me now. Not an ordinary human though. She was the tallest, most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen in my entire life and she was strutting towards me. No doubt this was the model for the shoot. She walked as if she was on a catwalk. Her shiny, shiny, borderline reflective hair billowed out behind her and bounced as her hips jutted from side to side, causing her whole body to sway from left to right with each step. Who walked like that? And why had she not dislocated something?

  He
r little ballerina arms looked somehow separate from the rest of her body and hung like delicate butterfly wings from her perfect shoulders. Her collarbones protruded in that mocking way that screamed, “No, bitches, I don’t need to eat.” I stopped chewing and slipped my chocolate in my bag, she was making me feel like a beached marine animal. Possibly a beached elephant seal.

  She was also pouting. Her full lips were slicked with lip-gloss that twinkled in the overhead lights. Who pouted like that? Who pursed their lips together like they were sucking on a lollipop, or worse? Heads turned and people stared—clearly the effect she wanted to illicit. I looked back at Angie and Becks and they both looked positively gutted, the competition had officially arrived and suddenly I imagined Ben ripping open that condom while she licked him like a giant lollipop.

  “Hi.” I heard another voice and turned once more. It was Ben and he was also walking in my direction. I tried, oh-so-flippin’ hard, not to let my jaw drop to the floor. He was wearing a casual pair of jeans and a black v neck t-shirt. He looked completely different in that outfit and maybe because it was new, I don’t think I had seen him looking better. Judging by the looks on the other’s faces, they seemed to agree.

  And as if perfectly timed, the three crowds descended on me at the exact same moment. we all looked at each other tossing around those awkward, polite smiles that come from not really knowing each other outside of work. I was trying hard not to let anyone see what I was thinking, i.e. ripping Ben’s shirt from his body with my teeth, rubbing my chocolate all over it and licking it off. I glanced over at the model. She looked like she was thinking the exact same thing, probably substituting the chocolate part for a low-cal celery smoothie though. Her little eyes twinkled at him, her silky lashes blinked and her pout got bigger …

  Look at me. I have big, beautiful blowjob lips and I want to put them to good use … on you. Crap! And now I was thinking about him coming on someone’s face again.

  The image was so disturbingly hideous that I gasped loudly and then started coughing. I hadn’t meant to. And it was so loud that everyone turned and looked at me, including Ben.

  “You okay?” Becks asked looking at me curiously.

  “Mmmm.” I nodded and then patted my chest. “Think I inhaled something …” I tapered off. Inhaled what? What a stupid thing to say and suddenly I hoped they didn’t think I was snorting lines.

  “Inhaled what?” Ben asked. He was trying to hide it, but the corners of his mouth twitched into a tiny smile.

  “A … . a … .” Everyone was looking at me … waiting. Fuck! “Probably pollen.” I was so happy when the thought came to me that I smiled at them all.

  “We’re in an airport,” Ben didn’t hide his smile now. “There shouldn’t be any pollen in here.” He was teasing me. He was trying to rile me up. The bastard.

  I pointed over at the pot plant behind him feeling pleased with myself, “What’s that then?”

  “As far as I know, palm trees don’t give off pollen.” He took a tiny step towards me. The people around us disappeared and I felt myself being pulled into my own private bubble with Ben.

  “So you’re also a botanist, then?” I teased.

  “Only in my spare time.” He folded his arms across his chest, causing the neck of his shirt to dip lower, revealing more of that tattoo that I’d found myself thinking so much about lately.

  “Fascinating,” I said back to him.

  “I’m a man of many talents, Sera.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup.”

  “Good for you.”

  A movement entered my peripheral vision and made me turn. Becks was leaning towards me with a confused look on her face, and suddenly I became very aware of the people around me again. My Ben bubble popped and when I came out of it, I realized that everyone was looking at us oddly. Shit!

  Ben must have realized it too, because his demeanor quickly changed. “We don’t want to miss our flight, do we? Come.” Ben started walking off and everyone followed. I hung back for a moment, trying to gather myself and fight off the plummeting feeling that had just fallen into the pit of my stomach. That moment should not have happened. People would start getting suspicious if Ben and I carried on like that. I quickly tried to remind myself of all those really good reasons that I shouldn’t date him. I took a deep breath and started walking after the group.

  Once at the gates we all pulled out our tickets and then boarded the plane. I found my seat quickly as it was close to the front. I sat down and buckled up as I watched everyone walk past me towards the back of the plane. I glanced down at my ticket again, was I sitting in the wrong seat? But my question was quickly answered when Ben slipped in next to me.

  31. Miss Pouty Lip

  “Oh wow, you’re sitting here too. What a coincidence.” It sounded completely untrue.

  I gave him a sideways glance. “Really?”

  “Ja, I had no idea we would be booked next to each other and everyone else would be seated all the way at the very, very, very back of the plane.” He shot me a smile and I tried not to reciprocate, but I felt the corners of my mouth twitch in response.

  “Hey,” I heard someone say and looked up. The model had stopped in the aisle next to Ben’s seat.

  “Hey, I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself,” she said in a sweet singsong voice that gave her a slight schoolgirl edge. “Cindy.” She extended her hand for Ben to shake. He did. She leaned in closer, closer, closer … too close. “I’m so excited to be working with you,” she cooed. “Your reputation really proceeds you.” She smiled. It was the kind of smile that told me she wasn’t talking about his professional reputation, but another one entirely. I crossed my legs and folded my arms, which caused her to look up to me briefly. She smiled at me and then started walking again. I sort of wish she’d tripped.

  Ben eyed me. “I take it you and Cindy aren’t going to become besties in the next few days?”

  “I doubt it,” I said flatly.

  “She’s probably a really nice girl if you got to know her,” he teased.

  “I’m sure she is,” I answered sarcastically.

  “You’re just jealous.”

  “I am not,” I turned and hissed at him. But truthfully, I was. I was so jealous of Miss Pouty-Lip right now and the way her low-cut top had fallen open when she’d leaned over to reveal just the right amount of almost-nipple to Ben.

  Ben turned his entire body towards me and leaned forward. “I wouldn’t do anything with her, even if she threw herself at me naked.” His voice was low and husky.

  “Oh, but your reputation proceeds you,” I said in a mocking tone, locking eyes with him. And suddenly it was awkward. I could see I’d hit a nerve and he squirmed under my gaze.

  “That’s in the past,” he quickly said. Thank God the airhostess interrupted us at that moment, because the conversation was headed somewhere it really shouldn’t be. I bought a Coke and soon felt better when I was washing it down with some Jelly Babies.

  “You consume a lot of sugar,” Ben suddenly said.

  “I know.” I popped another Jelly Baby in my mouth and didn’t bother to look up.

  “You know sugar is bad for you.”

  “So I’ve been told. But I need it to keep me awake and functioning.”

  “That’s only because you work too hard.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Really, and how many shifts did you do this week, Sera?”

  This time I stopped eating and looked up at him. “Every night this week. That’s how many.” He said it like a statement of fact. As if he knew exactly how many shifts I’d done that week. He must have sensed my thoughts because he quickly added, “I can hear you coming home late at night. And that’s why I’m glad you’re coming, you could do with a break and this won’t be stressful. You can relax.”

  “That does sound nice.” I suddenly imagined three whole days of total relaxation and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually relaxed.

 
“When was the last time you went to bed at a normal time?” he asked.

  “What’s normal?”

  “I don’t know, before three in the morning? I mean I know I’m not supposed to sleep, but you really don’t sleep.”

  I thought about this for a while and realized that I only really got one normal night a week, Sunday night.

  “I worry about you.” He looked straight into my eyes.

  “This is starting to sound very not professional again, Ben. We have a rule about that.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s called employee wellness. It’s also my job to make sure my staff aren’t completely overworked, stressed and exhausted. Of which you are all three.”

  “Don’t worry ’bout me. I don’t need much sleep to function, from years and years of practice.”

  “How long have you been working at the restaurant?”

  “Since I was fifteen,” I said without thinking.

  “Seriously? Through school and college and now this job?”

  I nodded. “It’s been a long time, I guess.” I hadn’t actually realized that I’d been working there for so long already …

  Ben was just looking at me now. Staring was more like it and I could see he was thinking about something. His brain was ticking away as he tried to size me up.

  “What?” I finally asked when I couldn’t take the x-ray stare any longer.

  “Nothing. You’re an incredible woman, Sera De La Haye.”

  “Uh … thanks. I guess.” I wasn’t really sure what to say back to him. Compliment him on how incredible he was? “Oh.” I suddenly remembered and started digging in my handbag. “I owe you change from the other night.” I took out the $88 and pushed it in his direction. He looked at my hand as if he had totally been caught off guard and had no idea what I was talking about.

  “The other night,” I reminded him. “You paid me with a hundred dollars. The drink only cost twelve dollars. This is your change.”

  Ben’s eyes moved from my hand up to my eyes. “I don’t want change.”