Nun After the Other

by Alice Loweecey

  “If clients would stop calling me out of the house at all hours, I would have no reason to be tardy.” She didn’t have to see Zane’s face to know he was staring at Sidney in trepidation. “Zane, it’s called banter. You will have noticed we indulge in it on occasion.”

  “…Okay, Ms. D.”

  “Good. Now, two things.” Giulia waited for them to stop typing. “First, lunch is on me.”

  “I have no plans, especially when the boss is buying lunch.” Sidney looked over at Zane.

  “Yes. Same here.” He waited a beat. “Why?”

  “Rowan and Jasper are also coming for lunch. I need to consult them. The second thing is someone tried to break in last night.”

  “What?” they said in perfect synchronization.

  “The operative word is ‘tried.’ Pit Bull wanted to meet and we came here around seven thirty. An inexpert twelve-year-old was attacking our door with lock picks.” She opened the door. “Did neither of you notice the scratches on the back plate?”

  “No.” Zane came around and crouched in front of the doorknob. Sidney hovered behind him.

  “And you work at a detective agency.”

  “We abase ourselves in spirit before you.” Sidney straightened. “Not in fact, because I lifted one of the baby alpacas last night and threw out my back.”

  “Chiropractor?”

  “I have an appointment at five fifteen. Why would somebody want to break in? I mean, they could steal our computers, but it’s obvious we’re not a retail store.”

  Zane twisted himself into an unnatural angle to see Giulia. “We need to up our encryption.”

  “Agreed.”

  “I’ll comparison shop if you want, but I can write a program tailored for us.”

  “I’d much rather have your handiwork than something mass produced.”

  Zane’s seldom-seen grin appeared. “Give me a week.” Then it disappeared. “Will that be too long? Do we need physical security?”

  “We’re getting it. I’m having a security system installed today.”

  “The break-in can’t be Eagle,” Sidney said. “He’s dead.”

  “Funny you should mention Eagle.” Giulia waited for Zane to stand and close the door. “After some encouragement, last night’s thief agreed to lead us to the middleman who hired him. Frank and Nash met us and took charge of both criminals. Nash recognized the middleman. We’re all waiting for him to give up the name of who’s really responsible.”.

  Sidney’s email ping sounded. “Which you think is?”

  Zane said from his desk, “Logic would dictate the new head of Eagle Developers.”

  “It would.” Giulia headed to her own office. “But I don’t rely on logic alone.”

  For the next hour the tapping of three keyboards was almost the only sound in the two offices. The phone rang twice, both times handled by Zane. He put it through to Giulia the third time. “It’s Mr. D. on one.”

  She picked up. “He caved?”

  “He caved. You’re not going to like it.”

  “Not The Scoop?”

  “No, not that bizarre. Besides, they like you now.”

  “I can’t imagine what heinous sin I committed to be punished on such a regular basis.”

  “The answer to your next question is Eagle.”

  Giulia didn’t reply.

  “Are you still there?”

  “Yes. But Eagle’s dead.” She tapped a pen on the nearest legal pad, her go-to method to help herself think. “Did he talk to Eagle face to face?”

  “Claims he got his orders from the top dog. His words.”

  “When?”

  “He didn’t say.”

  The dots progressed to concentric circles. “The question is, how reliable is any statement out of the middleman’s mouth?”

  “Hold on a second.” Muffled conversation, then Frank’s voice came clear again. “Gotta run. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

  “Thanks.” She hung up and said to the silent phone, “The question also is, were Eagle and Beech of one mind in all aspects of the business?”

  She wouldn’t have pegged Beech as a saboteur. Not so much from her first interview where she and Eagle were playing out a well-rehearsed script, but from the second. Beech gave all the indications of a practical business owner. Plus, she’d won mentoring awards. Plus, she’d seen the business through a state investigation. Plus…

  The clock in her icon tray read 11:40. She wrote Beech or a Cadre of Addicts? on the legal pad and propped it against her monitor. A bullet point list would have to wait. She locked her monitor and came into the main office.

  “Food should be here in five minutes. Sidney, do we still have plates and napkins?”

  Sidney held up one finger, typed for a few seconds, and saved. “I should lock my screen.”

  “I did because we have people coming in. Zane, you too.”

  “Already locked. It pleases me how readily we’ve adapted to the new paradigm.”

  Sidney came out of the combination bathroom and storage closet with paper plates, napkins, and plastic utensils. “We need a checkered tablecloth.”

  A knock at the door. Zane opened it on a white-haired older man carrying two paper bags by handles of dubious strength.

  “Delivery from The Smokehouse.”

  Zane took the bags. “Come on in.”

  The old man shook his head. “Prepaid, tip included. Thanks and enjoy your food.”

  Rowan and Jasper stepped aside for him to exit. Rowan floated in wearing layers of lilac chiffon accented with daffodil, with ribbons of both colors in her long black and violet braids. Jasper’s concession to late summer consisted of a dark blue t-shirt instead of black tucked into his jeans.

  “Giulia, you have our undivided attention for two hours. You look radiant.” She engulfed Giulia in a hug, her Bingo Lady arms flapping against Giulia’s biceps before she clasped them around Sidney. “Sidney, sweetie, I am so jealous of your flawless skin.” A minute later Zane disappeared within the chiffon-covered arms. “Zane, I want you to moonlight for us. I’ll clear it with Giulia.”

  Giulia was unpacking an assortment of sandwiches from the first bag. “Rowan, you don’t have to clear anything with me. Everyone’s free time is their own.”

  “Jasper knew you’d say that. The Shoppe needs a database and who better to create it?” She kept one arm around Zane and began rattling off a list of wants. Zane managed to snag paper and pen from his desk while still being hugged.

  Jasper held up a small box with a cellophane window from the second bag. “Are these chocolate chip snickerdoodles?”

  “They are. There should also be six raspberry-filled honey cakes. The first two belong to Sidney.”

  Sidney dived into the bag and clutched the pink box to her chest. “You are the best.”

  “Rowan, Zane, chow time.” Giulia stood at the table like Vanna White showcasing a new puzzle on Wheel of Fortune. “I ordered mini versions of everything so feel free to try something new. Roast beef, turkey club, vegetarian, and chicken salad. To accompany the repast we have Coke, Sprite, and water. You already know about dessert. Dig in, please, and I promise to entertain you during lunch.”

  Fifty-Six

  Giulia didn’t keep her promise until she devoured one each of the roast beef and turkey mini subs. To avoid an attack of the hiccups, she kept to water. What she really wanted was a snickerdoodle, but a good hostess feeds her guests first.

  “It’s time for the entertainment portion of our afternoon to begin.” Giulia held tight to her bottle of water. “Rowan and Jasper, one of our current clients is a small convent in an area bought out by Eagle Developers.”

  Jasper raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

  “I met Eagle once,” Rowan said. “I got suckered into setting up a booth at one of those Psychi
c Fairs. His daughter was about fifteen and dragged him around the entire fair until she saw my Tarot cards. She decided they were the ‘right’ ones and made him pay for my time.” She finished her Sprite. “I prostituted my art and gave her a happy-happy-joy-joy reading.”

  “You never do that,” Jasper said.

  “She was the last time. I had to get Eagle away from me. The man wasn’t evil, but he was unprincipled and slimy. Don’t snicker, Jasper, slime is as visible as ectoplasm and you know I can see it.”

  “Yes, Aunt Rowan.”

  “Humility would sound sincerer if it wasn’t spoken through a mouth full of chocolate chip snickerdoodle.”

  Jasper plucked one of her beribboned braids with his prosthetic hand. She huffed. “Go on, Giulia.”

  “You may not have heard about Eagle’s death.”

  Rowan sat up straight, all her chiffon layers fluttering. “What?”

  “He was found stuck in one of the convent’s basement windows. A pile of newspapers below him was burning next to remnants of a homemade incendiary device.”

  “What kind of device?” Jasper the explosives expert said.

  “We have videos.” Zane took out his phone and played one of the YouTube clips.

  “Idiot,” Jasper said. “Only a fool would play around with imprecise combustibles.” He looked up from the phone at Giulia. “It exploded sooner than he planned, or was more powerful. Or both.”

  “Our best guess is sooner.”

  He continued to stare. “I won’t ask you to describe how he looked when you found him.”

  She made a face. “Thanks. All that was backstory. More than once when I was in the convent I smelled cigarette smoke. The nuns deny a secret cigarette habit and are too poor to afford cigarettes anyway.”

  “Open windows?” Sidney said.

  “Do nuns lie?” Zane said.

  “Possibly to the first and I won’t say absolutely not to the second. The ancillary occurrences were my handy-dandy EMF meter losing its electronic mind.”

  Rowan belly-laughed. “One of those gizmos like on the ghost hunting shows? Really?” She held out her hand. “Let me see. You need to come in for another lesson. I won’t have a student of mine using shortcuts.”

  Giulia opened the app and placed her phone in Rowan’s hand. Still chuckling, Rowan aimed it at everyone in the room in turn. “We can all sleep well tonight because this thing says we’re not haunted.” She returned to phone to Giulia. “How could I forget? You invited communication. What happened?”

  Jasper said after Giulia pocketed her phone, “It’s okay. You have the resources to handle it.”

  Giulia wrinkled her nose at Jasper. “Why do you sound like my personal spiritual advisor who knows exactly what I need to hear?”

  He pointed to his forehead. “Clairvoyant. Comes with the territory.”

  “Wait.” Sidney leaned backward in her chair.

  “No,” Zane leaned forward. “Go on.”

  Giulia drank, capped the bottle, and gripped it until the thin plastic buckled. “I followed your advice and searched the house. When I reached the cellar the EMF meter screeched like crazy.”

  “And?” Rowan said.

  “The ghost appeared.” There. She’d said it in front of four witnesses.

  Sidney jumped out of her chair and walked to the window. Jasper made a movement toward her, but kept his seat. Zane’s eyes widened until the whites around the pale blue irises showed.

  Rowan radiated triumph. “I knew you could do it. What was it like? What did it say?”

  With a glance at Sidney’s stiff back, Giulia said, “It—she—has a foul mouth.”

  Jasper laughed.

  “She was a Gibson Girl.” Giulia dug out her phone again and opened a search window. “Like this.” She showed Jasper and Zane. “It’s funny. I’m the least fashionable person you’ll meet and this is the second case this summer involving high fashion.”

  “The universe is giving you a hint.” Rowan waved the phone away. “I know about Gibson Girls. What did she say?”

  “She didn’t like the noise from the EMF meter. She doesn’t like nuns. She designed the house herself.”

  “Progressive for the time,” Rowan said. “Jasper’s right. It’s funny for your first ghost to have a potty mouth.” She studied Giulia. “You’re going to poke a hole in your water bottle if you keep squeezing it like that. Did she threaten you?”

  A tight head shake. “She was sarcastic and full of herself. She wanted to scare me.”

  Jasper said in his calm voice, “The simple fact of her existence threw you off balance.”

  Giulia gripped the water bottle between her knees and clutched her head in her hands. “I’m completely freaked out. If I look like I’m handling this as though it’s another detail in an ongoing hunt for clues, I’m a better actress than Scarlett Johansson.”

  Rowan admired a fresh snickerdoodle. “You should’ve seen my face the first time my ex’s mother’s ghost popped into my life. My ex thought I was going to hurl. He said I turned green and gray and then green again.” The memory appeared not to affect her enjoyment of the cookie.

  Giulia gave a short laugh. “I don’t know how I stayed upright. The bones in my legs melted. At least that’s what it felt like.”

  “I wish I could have seen her.” Rowan’s voice filled with nostalgia.

  Giulia sat up. “I have a picture.”

  Sidney turned away from the window. “You have what?”

  “On my phone. Come into my office and I’ll upload it.” She unlocked her monitor and plugged the phone into her tower. “When I got over the shock, my first thought was to take a picture. The ghost made a snarky comment, but I tried anyway. Then I thought to try my night vision camera, because why not?” She clicked through all the regular-light pictures. “Here we have several glamour shots of the cellar.” Her voice wobbled on the lame joke.

  Zane pointed. “Is that the window where Eagle tried to break in?”

  “Yes.” Giulia heard the tightness in her own voice.

  “She manifested between where you were standing and the furnace?” Rowan invaded the last safe millimeter of Giulia’s personal space by planting her round chin on Giulia’s left shoulder.

  “Yes. The ghost posed in one spot and gave me a ‘you’re such a newbie’ look.” Giulia took a breath and tried to make her voice even and calm. “After I took these I remembered the night vision camera.” She clicked to the first green picture.

  “Pühad jumalad.” Zane’s deep voice lost all timbre.

  Giulia gave him her Sister Mary Regina Coelis glare.

  He held up both hands. “It’s not swearing, Ms. D. It’s just ‘holy gods’ in Estonian.”

  Sidney spoke for the first time in a while. “I thought you said your uncles taught you how to swear and nothing else.”

  “They did. My oldest aunt taught me polite words. Ms. D., can you enlarge it?”

  “Wait,” Rowan said. “I see a human shape with a big, blobby head. Jasper?”

  “I get nothing from a photograph.”

  Giulia clicked so the picture filled the screen, then enlarged it with the mist at the center. “Frank and I tried this on my phone last night. Enlarging the mist makes it cloudier instead of clearer. It shouldn’t. I don’t know why.”

  “Go back to normal.” Rowan pushed her nose up to the screen. “No detail at all.” She drew away. “Now I see it again.” She punched Giulia’s shoulder in a ladylike manner. “Contact with evidence. You have the gift, young lady.”

  “I think I’d rather be promotion manager for The Scoop.”

  Sidney sat with a thump in Giulia’s client chair. “At least you’re still you.”

  Fifty-Seven

  “Hello? Anyone here?”

  Zane dashed into the main office. “Welcome
to Driscoll Investigations. How can we help you?”

  “We’re here to install your new security system.”

  Giulia came into the office, hand out. “I’m Giulia Driscoll. I’m so pleased we could step into a cancellation.”

  The thirty-something man stepped aside and the forty-something man behind him wheeled in a dolly stacked with boxes of tools, cameras, and cables.

  Giulia poked her head around her office doorway. “Guys, the other important happening of the day is we’re installing a security system. Our privacy is not our own for the next hour or so.”

  Jasper put a hand over his heart. “I am willing to make the sacrifice for the greater good.”

  Giulia laughed. The ghost-related knots in her neck loosened. “Let me clear my screen.” She closed the photo viewer and unhooked her phone.

  Out in the main office, the security installers were measuring walls and checking for studs. “Ma’am, our work order says you want motion sensing after hours and a DVR linked to your network. Cabled or wireless?”

  “Zane?” Giulia said.

  “Cabled. Better picture quality.”

  Thirty-something said, “For a space this size, wireless is fine. The cameras won’t be far from the receiver.”

  Zane shook his head. “That’s not the issue. Wireless isn’t up to the standards we require.”

  Thirty-something made a note on the work order. “Okay by us. You only have the one door? What about a fire escape?”

  Giulia walked the two offices and the bathroom with him, discussing optimal camera placement. His partner unpacked a drill and various hardware. Sidney cleaned up the remains of lunch. Zane and Rowan fixed an appointment to discuss her new database. Jasper snagged the last snickerdoodle.

  Forty-something measured everything a second time with a laser measure. Thirty-something opened one of the camera boxes. Rowan hovered near both the installers and the honey cake box. Giulia offered to make tea.

  Jasper chose chamomile, Rowan peppermint, Sidney green plus jasmine. Zane passed. Giulia decided she’d had enough stress for one day without adding herbal tea to the list.

  When everyone was seated in her office, Giulia began. “The going theory is a mugger or junkie killed an old nun last week. Frank and I found her body when we were out on a date. This brought us into the case of the haunted convent.”