Over Her Dead Body

by Bradley Bigato

  “I’m sure you do.” The sheriff turned, pulled Michael back and turned him around. “As soon as we’re done here I’ll drive you up there and we can check on her together and she can follow us down to the station.”

  “Down to the station? On what charge?”

  “I guess that depends on what this breathalyzer has to tell me.” The sheriff said. “Now open your mouth.” The sheriff produced a package from his pocket and began to tear off the plastic.

  “I told you Officer, I haven’t been drinking. I just need to call my wife and make sure she’s ok.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be?” The sheriff hesitated with the test.

  “Well, I don’t exactly remember getting here. What if I was hit over the head and dragged out here?” Michael retorted. He felt harassed.

  “Well, that wouldn’t exactly give you cause to go acting all stupid digging in the dirt now would it?” The sheriff asked.

  Michael couldn’t disagree with him and just shut up and opened his mouth. The officer put a small plastic device in and said “now I need you to inhale as deep as you can and blow out as long as you can until all the air is out of your lungs. You need to blow hard. If you don’t do it right, we can go on down to the station right now and I’ll tell them you refused the test. Got it?”

  Michael nodded and inhaled a deep breath and blew as hard as he could. He felt light headed and thought for a moment he was going to faint. Shit I’m so freaking cold. He thought. He started shivering a little and his teeth began to chatter.

  Sheriff Watley shined the flashlight onto the breathalyzer. He couldn’t believe it. It was a good blow and nothing. Not one percent of alcohol. That worried him. He began to worry about the wife. This is not going to be good at all. He thought. “Get in the car.” He said as he opened the door and pushed down on Michael’s head and into the back seat. He slammed the door behind him and got into the front.

  Michael was glad to be off the concrete and away from the cold wind. It was still cold in the car though and he was getting increasingly worried about April.

  Sheriff Watley got on the radio and reported what had happened. “You mean naked digging in the dirt?” Leah said across the radio.

  “Not naked. He had his underwear and a t-shirt on.” The sheriff said shaking his head.

  “Does he do landscaping? I’ve got a patch that’s overgrown that’s just begging for a man to come crawl around in his drawers and trim up for me. He can dig around all he wants…” Leah said across the radio again.

  “He’s not goin anywhere near your patch Leah. He’d have to be drunk and I just tested him. I guess your outta luck tonight.” The sheriff looked in the rearview mirror at the guy in the back. “I’m going to run him up to his house and check on the wife. Make sure she’s ok. Shouldn’t take longer than fifteen. Twenty at most. We got some room down there for this guy?” The sheriff asked.

  “Well, all we got tonight are a couple guys in a bar fight and Lewis again.” Leah said.

  The sheriff nodded his head. Lewis was the town drunk. He never hurt anybody, but would always pass out in gas stations and public places so he could get a warm place to sleep and some food. “Alright. I’ll let you know. Out.”

  “K. Out.” Leah said.

  Sheriff Watley put the car in drive and started for the old Danken house. He pulled up in the driveway behind a green Ford Explorer that he assumed was the wife’s. There were no lights on in the house but as the headlights flashed across the door, he could see that it had been left open. “You stay put. I’ll be back in a moment. What’s your wife’s name?”

  “April.” Michael said

  The sheriff opened his door and closed it behind him. He took the flashlight with him but left his gun holstered. He did unlatch it though. He didn’t expect trouble but he had to admit that it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibilities that the guy could have been knocked cold and drug into the woods. The screen door was shut and the sheriff flashed the flashlight through the screen to the interior of the house. He looked around. There was a couch and a recliner. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. He rapped on the screen door loudly three times. “Anybody there?” He hollered in through the screen and rapped again.

  He was about to knock again when he heard a noise and a voice holler from around the corner. “Who is it? Michael? Is that you?”

  “No ma'am, this is the Sheriff. I have your husband with me. I need you to come to the door please.

  There was a pause and then a woman approached the door cautiously and turned the porch light on. The sheriff could see her clearly reflected in the porch light. She was beautiful with curly dark hair and brown eyes. She had a bit of a bed head as her hair was tuffled in places and sticking up. It was obvious she had just been asleep. She rubbed her eyes and looked out the screen door. “What can I do for you Officer? Is something wrong?” She had no idea why a sheriff would be knocking on her door at all much less this time at night.

  “Are you April Bander?” The sheriff asked.

  “Yes. I’m April Bander. What’s this all about? Is something wrong? Why is Michael with you?” Her expression went from sleepy to concerned.

  “And your husband is Michael Bander is that correct?” The sheriff continued.

  “Yes, Michael’s my husband.”

  “When was the last time you saw your husband?” The sheriff asked.

  “Well, we just went to bed a few hours ago. He fell asleep before I did. But you just woke me up and he’s not in bed. I assume he couldn’t sleep and went out to the garage until you said he was with you. Did he call you for some reason? Has something happened?” She was beginning to panic.

  “Is your husband taking any medications right now or is he on drugs of any kind?” The sheriff asked.

  “Drugs? Are you kidding me? Michael? I don’t think so. He’s not on any medications right now. Why are you asking me this? Where is Michael? I want to talk to him. You’re scaring me.” April had tears welling up in her eyes.

  “Ma'am, I found your husband’s truck parked in the road, running, about fifty yards from here.” The sheriff pointed in the direction he had come. “There was no one inside and so I went into the woods to investigate. I found your husband barefoot, in his t-shirt, and underwear on his knees digging in the dirt.”

  “What?” April looked shocked. “What was he doing digging in the dirt?”

  “Well, I was hoping you could tell me.” The sheriff said.

  “I have no idea. He hasn’t done anything like this before. What did he tell you?”

  “He said he didn’t remember how he got there. He acted like he was in a trance or something. I had to fire my gun just to get him to stop digging.”

  “You fired your gun? Is he ok?” A tear fell from her right eye.

  “Yes. He’s fine. I just fired it in the air because he wouldn’t stop digging.”

  “Is it possible that he was asleep? I have a sister who used to sleep walk and she made it out to the car a couple of times.” April sniffed and wiped the tear off her cheek with her fingers.

  “Well, I tested him for alcohol and there was none.”

  “No, there wouldn’t be. We didn’t have anything to drink last night.” April said.

  “I guess it’s a possibility. I’ve never heard of anyone sleepdriving before, but I do get occasional calls about sleepwalkers. It’s pretty spooky stuff. It would explain a lot though. The bare feet, the lack of clothes, and why I had to fire my gun to get his attention.” The sheriff shook his head and looked back toward his car. “You say he’s never done anything like this before? Never had a problem with sleepwalking?” The sheriff asked as he turned back to look at her.

  April shook her head. “No. I’m always up before he is and he’s always been a really sound sleeper. I can’t explain it.”

  “Well…” The sheriff looked back toward his car. He seemed to be contemplating. “I really don’t have much to hold him on. I guess I’ll release him back to you. You need to
keep an eye on him though. Maybe get him to a doctor or something.” The sheriff said.

  April nodded. “I will. I’ll set an appointment right away. Maybe they could do a sleep study or something.”

  “Something.” The sheriff agreed. “I’ll go get him and be right back.” The sheriff said as he marched off toward his car.

  April saw the sheriff open the back door and pull Michael out. The sheriff turned him around against the car and took his cuffs off. April gasped seeing him in handcuffs and put her hand over her mouth. The scene looked barbaric and she felt like she was on an episode of “Cops”. Michael saw April and started walking toward her. He walked up to her and threw his arms around her. “Look at you, you’re covered in dirt.” She said.

  “I was so worried about you. I thought something had happened.” Michael said.

  “Something had happened? To me? You were the one out digging in the woods in your undies Michael Mcreary Bander!” She said.

  “I don’t know how I got there. I just woke up and I was there. This is embarrassing.” He said.

  The sheriff had walked up behind him. “I’ll let you folks be. If you have any other troubles, just give us a call.” He said looking directly at April. "And don't forget to get your truck out of the road before someone hits it and gets hurt."

  April nodded. “Thanks Sheriff.” She said as he headed back toward his car. “Let’s get you inside and cleaned up. You really don’t remember anything?” She said to Michael.

  “No. Nothing.”

  It was a long night. April walked up and retrieved the truck, helped get Michael cleaned up, and then fixed them a snack of caramel apple slices and hot cocoa. Michael recalled to her all the things that had happened. April sat there and shook her head in disbelief. “I just can’t believe he pulled a gun on you. Much less fired it.” She said shaking her head.

  “I know. I thought the guy was going to shoot me for sure.” Michael said.

  “And he put you in handcuffs. Imagine. My husband in handcuffs!” At this April couldn’t help but begin laughing. She laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. “What will the ladies at work say?” She laughed some more. “What would your mother say?”

  “Seriously, you’re really going to tell everybody about this aren’t you?” He said in disbelief.

  “Are you kidding me? And pass up the best water cooler story of the decade? You bet.” She said.

  Michael just raised his hands and dropped them into his lap, a sign of defeat. “Ok, but just remember, it will be your turn for something humiliating one of these times and I’m going to remember this.” He said to her. Then he moved in closer to her and grabbed her hand and lifted her up so she was face to face with him and he moved in to kiss her and just as she moved for the kiss he retracted. “Isn’t there anything I can do to silence these beautiful lips of yours?” He asked.

  April pulled her head back and looked at him. “Are you trying to bribe the storyteller?” She said.

  Michael nodded. “Maybe…”

  “It’s going to take a lot more than a kiss to seal these lips!” She said with a grin.

  “Really. Do tell.” Michael hoisted her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. After a long night of passion, lust, and bribery, they decided they would call in sick the next day and sleep in.

  “No more sleepwalking in the woods?” She whispered to him as she drifted off to sleep.

  “No more.” He said quietly as he drifted off to sleep with a promise rolling off his lips that was no sooner spoken than broken.

  Chapter 5

  The following day, April and Michael spent relaxing at home. There was an awkwardness in the air as both of them tried to take in the previous night’s experience and find some purpose or meaning in it.

  Michael spent most of the afternoon pacing in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. He would just stand and stare out the back door. There was so much to take in; the squirrels, the birds, the trees, and every other living thing that created a community in their backyard. But Michael didn’t see any of it. He stared in the right direction but he looked past it all into an area in his mind where he replayed the gunshots, the handcuffs, the feeling of the soil under his toes. Why was he out there? How did he get there? He had never had any troubles with sleepwalking before. Why now? Was there some logical explanation that he just couldn’t see? He stood there and wondered. He reflected to his childhood and couldn’t recall having had any instances of sleepwalking. Could this be a sign of some medical condition that is about to make itself known? He took a sip of his coffee and shook his head to himself. Handcuffs. Me in handcuffs. What’s next?

  April was also deep in thought. Instead of pacing, she found solice in research. What is sleepwalking? Is it dangerous? Could it be cured? These were the kinds of questions she was plugging away into a search engine on the internet and reading page after page. Some of the sites claimed to be written by doctors while other sites were built by individuals who’ve had to deal with personal sleepwalking or that of a loved one. She read stories about people who managed to drive from one place to another while asleep. People who’ve opened their doors at two o’clock in the morning to a neighbor, friend, or relative who had shown up dead asleep with strange requests or statements.

  Some sites claimed there were treatments and medicines for the treatment of sleepwalking. April leaned back on the couch and stretched. Her laptop was on her lap and nearly fell off. She glanced up at Michael. He was at the back door again looking out with that far away look. Did he need medicine? It only happened once, but what if he had gotten hurt? What would have happened if the sheriff hadn’t found him? Hypothermia? Truck accident? Who knows… She didn’t want to see him on medicine but she didn’t want anything to happen to him either. It was clear that he was just as worried as she was. She put her laptop aside and went to him.

  “What are you thinking?” She asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind.

  “What makes you think that I’m thinking?” he turned around and slid his hands around her waist.

  “Just a hunch.” She said while she looked deep into his brown eyes. She always felt herself getting lost in those eyes. Sometimes she would look into them and they seemed bottomless, like she could fall in and continue falling forever. Sometimes the feeling would overcome her and her knees would get weak until she felt like she would topple over. As she looked now, she had the same feeling and she tightened her grip a little more and found herself determined to hang on. How could he be so calm? She could sense that he was concerned because of the pacing and the staring out of the back door. It’s what he always does when he’s worried or in deep thought over something. But, he always seemed so calm. Inside her was a tsunami of waves being thrown about. Her emotions and thoughts went sliding all over the place from one wave of emotion to another. She felt like she was on a boat in a massive storm and the waves would come in pounding against the ship, tossing it in different directions. Then, just when she thought her ship was about to sink, she would look into Michael’s eyes and find calm water; an undisturbed lake. In her mind she could see herself sitting on a dock in her orange sundress and dipping her feet in the calm water. And her ship would begin to settle. The waves would get smaller and smaller until her boat was anchored next to the dock on the still water while she lost herself in his eyes. She looked away now for fear she wouldn’t return and just put her head against his chest and cried.

  The day winded down without anything exciting. Michael and April went for a walk down the road. Michael pointed to about where he had come out of the woods. They spent more time researching sleepwalking and decided that if it happened again that he would see a doctor and maybe have a sleep study done where they watch you while you sleep. They sat on the couch for most of the evening just sitting quietly and holding one another. They weren’t sad or depressed, it was just that they didn’t get many opportunities to just sit during the week and be with one another. It always seemed like durin
g the weekends they were so busy running errands and managing the honey do list that they hadn’t had an actual break to rest in ages. It was nice. It felt nice. They shared a sizzling hot steak, broccoli, and a potato for dinner. Then they settled in to watch their evening show. Monday night. “Lie to me” was on. It was a show about a deception expert. Dr. Cal Lightman was the lead character who would help solve crimes for the FBI or the private sector. They enjoyed a glass of red wine and began their nightly routine of preparing for bed. They were all settled in and April was about to turn off the light when she turned back and looked at Michael. Michael smiled because he knew what she was worried about and what the look was for.

  “I’m not going to have to chain you to the bed am I?” She said.

  “I’ll be good,” he said. “Scout’s honor.” He held up two fingers which was the symbol for a good scout.

  She smiled and said “you better mister…or you will be court marshaled!” She kissed him and turned out the light. They both lay there in deep thought looking up into the darkness until finally succumbing to sleep.

  Chapter 6

  Sheriff Watley was back on duty again. It was a fairly slow night. There was a domestic disturbance at the Reighly house…that was nothing new. At least once a week he would have to report to the house and help settle the argument. He had gotten accustomed to the flying dishes and the yelling. Now he would just walk straight in and start ducking right away. Eventually he would get the two of them sitting down at the table and talking. It usually took about an hour but they would wear down and the voices would go from yelling to a soft retort until finally they couldn’t remember what they were fighting about in the first place.

  He had given out three tickets after that. Two speeders and a right tail light out. A group of kids were in the car with the tail light out and he could smell marijuana on them. The driver didn’t appear stoned, but rather a shy kid toting around his friends. Sheriff Watley confiscated paraphernalia and a small bag of weed and sent them on their way with a warning. He wondered if these could be the same kids that spray painted the bridge. He didn’t find any spray paint on them though. As things winded down and the streets became empty, the sheriff figured he had some time to go finish the job on the bridge that he didn’t get to finish the night before. He still couldn’t get that whole situation out of his head. It just didn’t seem right somehow. He made a left and turned onto Cherry Blossom and headed the same direction he had the night before. He didn’t figure he’d run into any trouble tonight. As he wound his way down the road, it didn’t take long for him to realize that he had figured wrong.