Keeping Kinley

by Annette K. Larsen

  “Does it bother people that a princess and her husband are making a joke out of it?”

  She shrugged. “There were some who were horrified by such a display, but I think by now most have realized that it is done entirely without malice, and they can’t help being amused by it.”

  “It’s so strange to see Gavin this way. He’s still himself, but he and Ella have managed to fit themselves into each other’s worlds. They’ve changed, yes, but . . . ”

  “I know what you mean. Ella is still very much the same, only happier.” She turned to smile at me, obviously thrilled at her sister’s happiness.

  Our conversation moved on to other things, and we were soon joined by Gavin and Ella. When Lylin broadly hinted to her husband that she would like to dance, he happily obliged. As the song started into its rhythm, Gavin turned to Ella. “It’s your favorite. I’m sorry we’ll miss it.”

  She patted his arm. “Don’t think anything of it.”

  I was confused. “Why do you have to miss it?”

  “We can’t very well leave you on your own.” Gavin widened his eyes in mock fright. “Someone may eat you alive.”

  “Saints above,” I said in exasperation. “Go dance. I can certainly handle myself for the length of a song. Besides, I am sure to be thoroughly entertained watching the two of you.”

  “Are you certain?” Ella asked, already leaning toward the dance floor.

  I clasped my hands together, pleading. “It is my dearest birthday wish for you to dance this song. Now go.”

  They acquiesced, and Ella nearly skipped to join the formation, then they each struck a pose as the band played four drawn-out notes before starting the dance. I watched them with a silly grin on my face until they twirled to the other side of the dance floor and out of my view.

  I let my gaze wander to the ceiling, the blinking chandeliers, and the sweeping staircases held over both sides of the room with thick columns. Couples leaned against many of those columns, conversing in relative private as they avoided the rest of the crowd.

  When I accidentally caught the eye of an older woman, I smiled and waved a hand in greeting. She pursed her lips and turned up her nose. It must not be proper to wave at people you didn’t know here. I’d have to remember that.

  I wished I could wander around the room and explore more, but I didn’t dare move from my spot for fear of losing Gavin and Ella. The last thing I needed was to be lost in this confusing swirl of new people and new rules and new experiences.

  “My, how the tables have turned.”

  I spun around at the sound of Rylan’s voice and found him grinning. I sucked in my breath, trying to keep my composure as he took in my gown and my hair and the whole ensemble, his eyes shining with amusement.

  “What tables?” I asked.

  “I dressed up to go to market.” He looked me up and down again. “And now here you are, looking every bit the part of a noble lady. My hat’s off to you, madam.” He lifted his goblet then brought it to his mouth.

  “Just so long as it isn’t a feathered hat.”

  He choked on his drink but managed to swallow.

  I smirked and raised an eyebrow, loving the way he shook his head and grinned. It was what I adored most about him, the way he wasn’t afraid to show the way he felt, especially when he was happy. My lips curved in return, and I leaned in to speak in low, conspiratorial tones. “Though I dare say I pull it off with greater ease than you did. Aside from you, I have yet to be recognized as anything other than a lady.” I pulled back and couldn’t help sending him a wink.

  “I’ve no doubt your skill surpasses mine in many areas.”

  I chuckled, but it faded as I remembered the young lady I had seen on his arm. I glanced around but didn’t see her. “I thought you did not enjoy your parents’ social circles.” I tried to keep my face pleasant, to show I held no ill will toward him and the young lady, but I feared the sadness in my eyes could not be hidden.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes, well.” He cleared his throat. “This is more of a favor for my father.”

  My brow furrowed. “Have you two been getting along better lately?”

  “No.” His eyes wandered away from me before returning abruptly. “Happy birthday.”

  I blinked in surprise, rocking back a little. He remembered my birthday? “Thank you,” I stuttered out.

  “Also—” There was a pause saturated with his nervousness. “I was wondering if you had received my note.” He glanced over my head then down at the ground. “I haven’t seen you for quite some time, and I’ve been worried about you since the orchard . . .”

  “Yes, I received it. But since I don’t have my trees anymore, I’ve been busy with other things.” I should have simply told him that I was back in service, but I couldn’t force the words from my mouth. I wasn’t embarrassed by my employment, but admitting it to Rylan . . . . I couldn’t.

  “Well, you certainly look as though you’re doing well.” His eyes took me in, scorching my skin.

  I fiddled with a curl at the back of my neck and cleared my throat. “This is Ella’s idea of a birthday gift.” I attempted a chuckle, but it came out weak and breathy.

  He took a step closer, and I fought the urge to back away, suddenly overheated, which was ridiculous because I had been stuffed amid this crowd all night. But having Rylan next to me was different.

  He searched my eyes for a moment before asking in almost a murmur, “Will you dance with me?”

  My “yes” was immediate and unintentional, and I could not take it back. I didn’t want to take it back.

  He smiled a little and glanced at the other dancers. “We could join this dance, but I’d rather wait and start from the beginning.”

  “All right.” I looked down, embarrassed by how full of warmth and anticipation his presence made me. “I hope it’s one that I know.”

  “If it’s not, we will wait.”

  I brought my gaze back to his face as he gave a simple lift of his shoulder. I wondered how long he would be willing to wait. “Won’t the young lady you came with be wondering where you’ve gone?”

  He turned his head to look out over the dancers and clasped his hands behind his back. “She’s occupied at the moment. I’m certain she can spare me a few minutes more.” He rocked up on his toes then back down. It was a nervous fidget I’d never seen before.

  I stared at his profile, wondering if his young lady was as unattached to him as he implied. He turned back and smiled, as though delighted to catch me watching him. I wanted to look away but held his gaze instead.

  “You study me, my lady.”

  “I’m not a lady.”

  One eyebrow jumped. “You had me fooled.”

  “Playing dress-up now is no different than that time you and I wore your parents’ hats. I’m still the same common servant girl I was back then.”

  “That was on your eleventh birthday. Seven years ago, almost to the day.” He spoke of it with complete confidence, as if he remembered it as well or better than I did. And I remembered very well.

  I pulled myself from the memory, humiliated to discover that I was staring at his mouth. I quickly redirected my eyes up to his, only to discover that his attention resided somewhere in the vicinity of my lips.

  I jerked my head to the side, reminding myself that I didn’t know why he was here or who the woman was that had been on his arm. Reminding myself that he was a son of a lord and I was the daughter of a wood-carver, that I had served him in his home, that I even now served the Mantocks. This dress was lovely, and perhaps it fooled those around me, but it didn’t change who I was.

  Funny, our disparate circumstances hadn’t bothered me much when I had my orchard to work in, but now . . .

  His fingers clasped mine, and my heart jumped as I turned to him. He inclined his head toward the dance floor, and I realized the music had changed.

  “It’s the very first dance I showed you,” he said with a slight tug on my hand.

&
nbsp; I gathered a handful of skirts in my other hand and tried to breathe in confidence as we stepped onto the floor for the filara.

  We performed the necessary bows and curtsies, then the melody was struck, and I realized, The first dance he had taught me . . .

  We stepped toward each other, his hand splayed on my lower back, and we went up on our toes before switching places and stepping back.

  Oh, heavens.

  The dance continued with the simple movements, coming together, pulling apart, walking this way and that with our hands enfolded, circling while staring into each other’s eyes.

  And there he was. The same Rylan I had known all along was there in the depths of his gaze, in the kindness and amusement and—dare I say—adoration that filled his features. If he were the same Rylan, then what of the things people said about him? Perhaps they misunderstood his inability to conform and thus assigned dishonorable motives to him. But none of them really knew him—I did. At least I hoped I did. And I was quite possibly in love with him.

  I sank into the dance, and instead of holding my breath and bracing against the effects of having him close, I let myself breathe him in. As the last notes hummed and I sank into my curtsy, I felt almost drunk with bliss. When my eyes rose to him again, his gaze was soft, yet so intense that I could almost feel it when it slid over my cheek and across my lips. At that moment, I wished nothing more than to be gone from this room filled with curious eyes. I wanted to be back among my trees with Rylan.

  Instead, he escorted me from the floor, and I forced myself from my reverie. My hand still rested in his, so I removed it and looked around, needing to dispel the enchantment.

  I noticed his companion through the crowd, looking for him, and the spell broke. I cleared my throat. “The young lady you arrived with seems to be missing you. I will bid you farewell.” I stepped back, needing the physical separation.

  He blinked a few times, then turned to look where I had indicated, nodding when she caught his eye. He turned back to me with a self-deprecating smile. “I escorted her here this evening at my father’s request.”

  He seemed to be doing a great many favors for his father lately.

  He gave a stiff bow. “Thank you for the dance. Good evening,” he said before backing away with obvious reluctance. He finally turned away, and I watched as he joined the slight young lady. He took her hand and wrapped it over his elbow before disappearing into the crowd.

  I turned away, unwilling to stare after him. I needed to find Gavin or Ella or even one of Ella’s family members—someone who knew who I was. Instead, a nobleman approached me and bowed, extending his hand. “May I have this dance?”

  Surprise choked me. “I suppose.”

  He lifted a brow. “You suppose?”

  Now I’d insulted him. “I mean, I would be honored,” I said, hurrying to remedy the situation. “But I do not dance very well.”

  He drew himself up as if my admission had been a compliment to him. “Then I shall be your instructor.”

  “Um.” I leaned to the side to look around him at the couples beginning to dance. The movements did not look familiar. “My apologies, sir, but I do not believe I can perform this dance.”

  “Your humility is admirable.”

  I forced a smile that likely looked like a grimace. “I’m afraid it is not humility. I have simply never learned this dance. I do not know the steps.”

  His brows rose to be hidden behind the swath of hair covering his forehead. “Never? Well, I have no wish to make you uncomfortable, so perhaps I might claim a later dance? One that you know.”

  “Yes. Thank you.” I was relieved to have avoided humiliating myself, but I wondered if he were truly going to ask for another dance. There were plenty of other women for him to choose from.

  He bowed. “I look forward to it.” He straightened and then stood there.

  He’s waiting for something. What would he be waiting—oh!

  I sank into a bumbling curtsy, blushing furiously as I rose. He smiled before he turned to leave.

  I jumped when I felt a hand on my elbow, but let out a relieved sigh when I turned to see Ella.

  “My apologies,” she said with a grin. “I didn’t mean to startle you. But I wanted to catch you before another gentleman tried to sweep you away.”

  “Is he going to think I am horribly rude for turning down his offer to dance?”

  “He did not seem upset when I passed by him. Think nothing of it.”

  I shook out my hands, then clasped them together in an attempt to hide any more nervous twitches. “Where is Gavin?”

  “Getting drinks. So tell me who the gentleman was you danced with.”

  My eyes crinkled in puzzlement. “You don’t know?”

  “Should I?”

  “Don’t you know most of the people here?”

  “Not in the least. There was a time that I knew most of the people around my own age, but it’s impossible to become familiar with everyone, especially now that I can live my life outside the palace. There’s no need for me to keep up with everything.” She waved her hand in front of her. “But that’s not the point. Who was the gentleman you danced with? You did very well, by the way.”

  I blushed at her praise and also at the prospect of telling her who it was that had danced with me. Had Gavin shared his suspicions about Rylan with her? “That was Rylander Baylor.”

  Her eyes went wide.

  “The man who—” I started to explain.

  “Yes, I know. I’m just surprised he is here. I thought you said he was a bit of an oddity and liked to avoid these things.”

  “I was surprised to see him here as well.”

  “You certainly looked comfortable in his arms.” She said this with wide eyes and feigned innocence.

  I couldn’t help the sigh that came. “I am.”

  “That’s not a bad thing, so why do you look so glum?”

  “I just . . . I can’t see how anything would work with him.”

  “With whom?” Gavin asked as he held out a drink in each hand.

  “No one,” I answered as I took the goblet.

  The tilt of his eyebrow said he didn’t believe me.

  “Come,” Ella said, looping her arm through mine. “I’ll introduce you to Mia.”

  Gavin shook his head and followed along. I was grateful to Ella for letting the subject drop. It wasn’t a conversation I wished to have in the middle of a royal ball.

  Weaving through the crowd, I spied Rylan again—looking thoroughly enraptured by the young lady who hung on his arm. His head was bent close to her, listening to her speaking, while he smiled. Then he turned his face so that he could take his turn speaking in her ear. His hand resting over hers where it lay on his arm, and the intimate proximity they shared made my heart drop. Perhaps he really was that kind and attentive to everyone, but he certainly didn’t seem inconvenienced by the interaction. I looked away, blinking rapidly.

  Meeting Princess Mia was a welcome distraction, but inevitably I went back to mingling and admiring the scenery and the people, which led me to catch Rylan’s eye more times than I wished to admit. He seemed to be watching me much of the time, while other times he seemed oblivious to anything but the young woman on his arm. I tottered all night between hope and disappointment, but did my best to soak in the experience, not only for Ella’s benefit, but because I knew the chance would never come again.

  ✼ ✼ ✼

  When we settled into the carriage to return to Gavin and Ella’s home, my feet ached, and my ribs were tired from being so tightly confined.

  “So what did you think of your first royal ball?” Ella asked.

  “It was lovely,” I said with a tired smile.

  Ella laughed out loud. “I’d be willing to wager that you are exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and that you aren’t sure it was enjoyable at all.”

  I let my head fall back against the cushioned seat. “You’re right. It was exhausting.” I was grateful she didn�
��t expect me to gush over the experience. “But I am glad I came,” I said, looking over at her. “It was certainly tiring, but it was also fascinating. It will be a unique memory that I’ll be proud to have.”

  Ella grinned. “Then I’ll call it a success.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  RETURNING TO WORK had my nerves on edge. What if Aveline or any of the Mantocks had recognized me at the ball? But I needn’t have worried. As they recited the ball’s events, the only mention of me was when Aveline was rehearsing different couples she had seen dancing and noted that, “There were several unfamiliar faces. Lord Hasborn danced with a tall beauty that I never had a chance to meet, and Mr. Baylor was seen conversing and dancing with a young lady that may have been from another country. She had an almost exotic look. And then there was the man—he may have been a prince, even—who was there with Miss Sprinn. I plan on asking her about that gentleman the first chance I get. He was most intriguing.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief and hid a smile at being called exotic. However, when I looked up to check the table and ensure that everything was in place, I caught Bram’s eye. He was studying me in a way that made me wonder if he had recognized me when the others had not.

  I dropped my gaze and hoped that if that were the case, he would keep such suspicions to himself.

  The days went by, and no one confronted me or tried to dismiss me (though Mrs. Tate was even more strict, if that were possible), so I made it to my next day off without anyone being the wiser. Fynn waited for me in the early morning light as I left through the kitchen, carrying my satchel.

  He helped me into the wagon and nudged Herman into motion without a word. I wondered if he were upset at me for yelling at him over his treatment of Suzannah, but when he finally spoke, he didn’t seem angry at all. “How was your birthday surprise?”

  I laughed at the memory. “It was . . . different.”

  He gave me a look that suggested my answer was insufficient. “And?”

  “And it was like a dream. Good in so many ways, but sometimes it didn’t feel real, and sometimes I wanted to wake up.”

  “Hmm” was his only response.