The Feria

by Bade, Julia

  Her abuelita finally made it to the breakfast table. “Suki, come quick and look at my granddaughter!”

  Suki shuffled through the small house and over to Soledad, staring down at her intensely before finally speaking up.

  “Socorro, what should we do?” Concern etched her voice.

  Alarmed, Soledad began to stand. “What? What’s wrong?”

  The never-ending jokesters began laughing.

  “My niña, you are in love.”

  Soledad’s eyes widened as the women gauged her reaction and laughed more. Guilty as charged, she plummeted back down into her chair. “I think so.”

  The old ladies began to dance in the kitchen, giggling like schoolgirls.

  “My dear, it’s the most exhilarating feeling in the whole earth. Be happy. Be at peace with this.”

  “Abuelita, there is so much on the line. Stanford, my father, saying goodbye, being devastated. I almost wish I’d never crossed over.”

  Suki interrupted. “Mija, love is always worth the risk, and you will find that love will always sort everything out, even the impossible, in its own time. So let go, and enjoy it for what it is today. Don’t live worrying about tomorrow. Live for this day. And tomorrow, you can live for tomorrow.”

  Abuelita sneered at her companion. “I was going to tell her that.”

  This time Soledad joined in their laughter. These women were infectious.

  Her heart jumped at a rap on the screen door.

  “Don Pedro, que gusto!” Abuelita welcomed him in.

  “Buenos dias, señoras. Señorita.” He nodded at Soledad.

  “Buenos dias,” the three women sang in unison.

  “I am so sorry to trouble you, but may I speak with Soledad?”

  “Of course.” The women retreated, shooting curious glances at Don Pedro.

  “Señorita, your father sends an urgent message that you must get home. And it is far more urgent as he sent it three days ago, but my work kept me from coming back here. So yesterday when I saw him, he sent the same message with much more assertion.”

  Fear seized her chest. What was so urgent her father had sent a messenger? Had something happened to him? She stumbled with her words. A gaping hole began to maneuver itself in her stomach.

  “Gracias, Señor, I will certainly heed my father’s call.”

  “He will be most pleased when I tell him today. He actually asked if you would accompany me this morning. I can leave you on my way in to a job I’ve secured near your home?” He sounded unsure. “I know you were not prepared for this, so I will be happy to wait for you to get your things together.”

  “Señor, I will obey my father’s call for me, but I have some appointments to attend to this morning. Friends I must say goodbye to before I leave for school. Please let him know I shall see him tonight.”

  “Everyone wishes you well, by the way. Shall I alert your father? How will you get home?”

  Soledad cringed. She hated lying, yet it was all inconsequential now that she had fallen in love. “My girlfriend’s mother is headed to El Paso this evening. She is actually the last stop I’m making today. I’m sure her mother will be more than willing to take me home tonight.” Before he could protest or question her any further, she spat out, “Muchas gracias, Señor.”

  “Adios, señorita.” The doubt in his words matched his eyes.

  Before long, Xavier, handsome as always, showed up on the porch with the bushel of flowers he had promised to bring. Soledad was grateful that fate allowed him and Don Pedro to miss each other. It was such close timing, actually, that she tormented herself for a short time, questioning the possibility. Had that occurred, Don Pedro would for sure alert her father about a boy attempting to court his daughter.

  After saying their hellos, Soledad was in her grandmother’s bedroom scouring through clothing she’d left there from past visits. She needed clothes for swimming. Today she and Xavier were going to the river. While she searched, she could hear Xavier flirting with her abuelita and Suki on the porch and presenting them with some of her flowers. She didn’t mind.

  In the best pair of shorts and T-shirt she could find, she flew outside, pecked each lady on the cheek, and she and her love darted away.

  The Rio Grande, the beautiful river separating the two countries Soledad loved, was nature’s U.S.—Mexico border. And when finished with its travels, the river became something far greater when it emptied out into the Gulf of Mexico. This was the day of the week that almost everyone went to the river, whether for recreation or washing clothes. Everyone was there. Soledad loved the day at the river almost as much as she loved the feria. It could very well have taken over as her favorite part of being with her grandmother, but for the fact that she met Xavier at the feria, forever placing that at the top position.

  They chose a spot higher than where the women were washing clothes. Although it would be impossible for the filth of dirty clothes to travel in such a vast body of water, the image of downstream dinge repulsed Soledad.

  Children could be heard a ways off shouting “Brinca!” “Jump!” “Jump!” Some leapt off the bank, some were pushed, but they delighted in the magic of the river all the same. Dogs were barking. People were fishing. A ways off, mariachis could be heard singing. They sounded like they were serenading a woman.

  “I’ll love you forever, forever I will. Please say that you’ll have me, please say that you will ...” Soledad found Xavier’s eyes, which were already fixated on her. She gushed with a bashful laugh. “I hope she says yes.”

  “I do, too.” Xavier looked deeper into her eyes, and Soledad got the feeling there was hidden meaning in his reply.

  Today, out in the sunlight, his beautiful blue eyes hypnotized her. She remained transfixed, locked in his gaze, until she heard a familiar sound. Her two favorite old ladies had come to the river for some Vitamin D.

  How could they venture out after the party they’d had last night? They were as tough as nails. The women danced around the shallow part, clothes rolled up. The day was officially complete. It was a party at the river where everyone was invited, and everyone was one great big family. Some people were preparing food, others the fire pit, and still others arranged and sorted fireworks. When the sun went down, the party would begin, and it would be spectacular!

  Soledad dove into the warm water, and when she came up, she felt her clothes plaster to her body. She pulled her long hair back, dripping, then ran her fingers through it to keep it from getting too tangled.

  “Stop staring.” Xavier’s sharp tone startled her. She glanced at the young man sitting nearby. Color rose high on his cheeks.

  “What?” he said to Xavier. “She’s with you, isn’t she? Then what’s the problem?”

  Soledad watched as Xavier clenched and unclenched his fists. He turned to her. “Can we go somewhere more private?”

  “Yes, of course.” She glanced at the other young man, who seemed to be watching their exchange with interest. “Is everything all right?”

  “I’m feeling a little selfish. There is so much going on that I can’t really enjoy the sound of your voice or your company. Is that okay?”

  “Yes, let’s go!”

  They walked side by side, trying to casually sneak off. They didn’t want to appear as two desperate lovers going off to do their deed, but in truth, that’s just what they were.

  Soledad glanced behind her and saw that Abuelita and Suki were now enjoying dangling their feet in the water. Nearby, young boys floated tiny boats.

  “Are you sure you want to get away?” He saw how her attention lingered on all the excitement behind them.

  “I’m very sure.”

  When they were clear out of everyone’s sight, he reached for her hand. Fingers intertwined, as always, he took her to a more secluded spot,
where tall growing grass built a safe house around them. It was like a shield that made them invisible to all. They both waded into the water, until about chest high.

  It was only here, in this private encircling, that Soledad allowed herself to finally freely stare at and appreciate the breathtaking presence before her. Seeing Xavier without his shirt on, his swimming trunks tight against his body, sent shivers up Soledad’s arms and legs.

  Without another word, just like magnets and without hesitation, they entered each other’s arms and their two wet bodies clung together. Their kissing was so eager, so urgent, they both found themselves short of breath. Pressed closely together, Soledad could tell Xavier was aroused. It was as if away from the public eye, he felt she was all his.

  His hands started at her shoulders and slid down her arms, smoothly sliding the wetness from her skin until they rested on her waist. With a strong grip on her hips, his mouth never leaving hers, he locked her in place, pressed firmly against him.

  Heat swamped Soledad, starting at her forehead, and out of control rushed through her body. She felt restless. Xavier’s arousal pressed against her lower body, close to her most intense ache, as if it needed no direction. It knew exactly where it needed to be. She didn’t shy away from him.

  Although her eyes were closed, Soledad could feel Xavier’s hands, now under her shirt, making their way up her sides. The touch of his fingertips on her bare, wet skin played an overwhelming symphony of sensations. Even though she was wet all over, there was a warm damp throb that began in her private area she couldn’t ignore. Her body was reacting in all sorts of ways which were not at all familiar, and it startled her. Confused, she stopped kissing Xavier and placed her hands on his chest.

  When she pulled away and opened her eyes, she found him very still, his eyes still closed. They were both panting heavily, and she noticed Xavier was trembling slightly. Finally, after several minutes, Xavier opened his eyes. “I’m so sorry, my Cholita. I don’t know what came over me.” He led her out of the tall grass that had hidden them so well, and back to the bank, where they sat. After an uncomfortable silence, Xavier spoke. “Honestly, I can’t help what my body does when I’m with you.”

  “I’m sorry I stopped. You have been my first at all of this, and I’m trying to understand what I’m feeling. I’m eighteen, Xavier. You’re twenty-three. I’m sure you have a lot more experience than me.”

  “I understand, Cholita. While I do have some experience, you have to know that I desire you with everything in me. I can’t control how I feel.”

  Xavier’s impassioned plea sent a surge of warmth through Soledad, and that pesky throbbing between her legs started again.

  Somewhere in the background, children had begun to hit a piñata, and screams of delight interrupted the silence.

  Soledad leaned back on her elbows and flashed him a flirty smile. “I really like that you call me Cholita.”

  “It feels very natural.”

  “I feel like I’m yours.”

  “Because you are.” His blue eyes darkened. “And I’m yours.”

  She inched toward him while he caressed her face, then brushed her hair back. He planted a soft, slow kiss on her wet shoulder. Heat once again flooded her body. Being here with Xavier felt so right.

  And those beautiful blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes!

  Those eyes were the last thing she saw in her mind when she closed her eyes that night.

  Chapter 9

  Over the next two weeks, Xavier and Soledad had grown inseparable. Whether or not this was normal for people in love, Soledad did not know, but she would spend every hour of every day with him if she were permitted to. They attended church together, they attended parties, they swam, they talked, many nights had been spent under the stars where Soledad fell asleep in the comfort and peace of Xavier’s arms. Lastly, they helped the old ladies fix up Abuelita’s property. They were free to do anything they wanted. She would walk with Xavier on grocery deliveries. The feria was on break before its last leg that would end with the beginning of fall. The timing of everything could not have been more perfect. Xavier and Soledad walked hand in hand, fingers entwined, down the dirt path toward her abuelita’s. These last few weeks had been the most precious days of her life.

  Xavier was now so much a part of her that the mere thought of pursuing Stanford now scared her, instead of inspiring her like it used to. Everything had changed since she’d met him. There had never been an exact answer as to how this summer romance would end, or how it would move forward. She’d always tried to live in the moment, and when this affair first began, the end had seemed nowhere in sight. Now, realistically, she’d soon have to go home to El Paso, she’d have to go away for college, and Xavier would have to eventually leave on the feria’s next run, and honestly, their lives had two options: move forward together, or accept it as it was and let go. That last thought made her chest feel tight. Not an option. She pushed the troubling thoughts away, as well as the lingering demands of her father, insisting that she needed to come home. He’d said it was urgent, but if it truly were, he’d have already come to get her. What possibly helped that situation was the fact that she had convinced her mother that Abuelita needed her help and she’d return to El Paso as soon as she was done.

  Soledad only realized she was fighting an internal battle minutes later when she noticed neither of them had spoken.

  She broke the silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence by any means, but she loved to hear Xavier’s voice. “Tonight I’m going to cook for you.”

  “Wow, I’m honored.”

  “You’re sarcastic.”

  Xavier stopped walking, lowered his face to look into her eyes. “No, no really. I’ve never had a girl kiss me before. I mean cook for me before!” His charming laugh danced all around them.

  “Well, I think you’re lying on both counts. One, I’m positive about.” She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth on his. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and draw her closer to him. Their tongues danced. She reached both arms up and around his neck and pressed her mouth harder into his.

  They were quickly getting carried away. This seemed to happen more and more often now as they spent time together. They’d both invented ways to help them cool off before things went too far, even though Soledad could not help but notice the ocean of trees off the path that could easily have concealed them, had they decided to give into the temptation to go further.

  “You up for a run?” Xavier asked, panting.

  “Well, I’m told that I’m pretty fast,” she said with a smirk.

  “Is that a challenge? So a race, then? What if I win?”

  “You won’t.”

  “If you win, how will you know if it wasn’t because I let you?”

  “Because you would never disrespect me like that.”

  He realized she’d taken the words right out of his head. “That is the genuine truth. So ... I guess you’d better start running!” He pecked her on the lips and darted off.

  “Cheater!” she yelled and took off after him.

  They both laughed all the way. They rolled out of the path and onto the main road in front of her grandmother’s house like two out-of-control tumbleweeds blown out of the El Paso desert. They joined hands.

  Xavier was still chortling, but Soledad stopped in her tracks. The black automobile she knew well was parked in front of the house, and her father stood hands on hips, his perceptive gaze measuring up the couple with his eyes.

  She quickly dropped Xavier’s hand. From her side vision, she could see Xavier staring at her. She glanced at him, and his confused expression pained her.

  “It’s my father,” she whispered.

  “I’ll go.”

  “No.” The defiance that had been building in her since the last time she’d seen her father
burst out. She took Xavier by the arm and pulled him forward.

  “Papá, this is Xavier.”

  Xavier lifted his right hand, but Soledad’s father did not move.

  “Cholita, what’s the meaning of this?” He lingered on Xavier sending daggers with his eyes, then he returned his intimidating gaze to his daughter. “Why have you been ignoring my messages to come home? Why are you disrespecting me?”

  “Papá, I could ask you the same.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” She looked down.

  “If there is something you need to say, then do so,” he dared.

  “Nothing, Papá.” Her defiance weakened. He was still her father, the man she’d loved and honored for all her life. Even though this man was different, he was still her father.

  “You best be going.” He gave Xavier one last glance. “Chole, get your things. I’ll be in the car.”

  The silence was deafening. The fear of the unknown was sneering at them. She longed to reach up and kiss Xavier as though she’d never see him again. She wanted to squeeze his hand and reassure him that she’d be back soon. But their goodbye was nothing of the sort.

  With one last squeeze of his hand, she channeled every remnant of faith in her, and said the words her heart knew even before she did. “I love you.”

  He didn’t hesitate. It was as if they said it ordinarily. “I love you.” There was urgency in his voice.

  Her father sighed heavily, disgust in his air.

  She didn’t understand why they were so panicked. Was it because they’d been caught together? Was it because she was leaving to a whole other country that, although was a neighbor, banned her love from entering? No. It was because she was looking at a man who was not her father. That gentle, kind man was gone. This angry man would surely disapprove and keep her away.

  Her throat was closing.