The Feria

by Bade, Julia

  She turned to face him, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. She’d always wished she could open him up and be completely inside him, her desire for him, that unquenchable. And there, on the bank, hidden in tall grass, she got her wish. They consummated their pledge. They were on fire. Their moaning could have shaken the earth and, to Soledad, it did.

  Chapter 27

  During the entire drive home, they held hands, as before, their fingers joyfully intertwined. She stared down at her muddy sandals on the car floor.

  “How do I break the news to Abril?”

  “It’s going to be a lot for her to take in,” he agreed.

  “I feel like for as hard as I’ve tried to protect her, I only weaved a world of damage that will soon catch up to her. And she’s such a good girl.”

  “You did no such thing. Life is full of the unexpected. It’s never what it seems. That’s what makes it all an adventure. That’s what makes it worth living.”

  Soledad squeezed his hand. Fighting back tears, she still could not believe they were together in this moment. He was just as vivid as in her dreams, and she feared that at any second she would wake up, once again in her West Side home, once again tolerating another day married to Emmanuel. But these were new times. Her life had just started again.

  “I can’t wait to buy you a ring, my love.”

  “That’s not necessary.” She shrugged. “I didn’t have one this last time around.”

  “You will have one this time.”

  She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “Thank you.”

  “I’m here now, Cholita. And I am going to help you carry your worries. We are now in everything together. You never have to face anything alone, ever again. Do you understand me?”

  Soledad nodded. He was her champion. She knew that with Xavier by her side, anything that seemed impossible would never be so.

  “I have so much to talk to our daughter about. I don’t even know where to start,” she said.

  “How about at the beginning?”

  “Actually, she knows all of that.”

  “She does?”

  At her nod, he said, “Soledad, I want to tell the whole world that I love you and that I am marrying you. I don’t care what your ex-husband says. I don’t care what your mother says. I know Abril will fall apart, but together we will put her back together. Why do we have to hide or prepare anyone for anything? We’ve been given a second chance. What if we just put all fears aside, and went in with guns blazing?”

  Soledad envisioned her and Xavier with guns, and basically, everyone falling over at the sound of their news. “I understand, Xavier, but Abril is still a child.”

  “She is a young, strong woman, too. And she deserves to know.”

  “She’s in love with her uncle.” Soledad felt a gush of nausea. She planted her hands on the seat to sturdy herself.

  “Well then, this will make you feel better. The two of them haven’t even so much as pecked on the lips.” He flashed a smile that left her breathless and wanting him yet again, but she was more interested in his insider information.

  “What?”

  “I promise. He tells me everything. He thought he had done something wrong. Maybe perhaps, it was just nature keeping everything in balance. But for whatever reason, Abril is a very careful girl who guards her heart very well. Especially after seeing Emmanuel, uh, doing what he did. She seems to have put a wall up for right now.”

  “But they’ve been spending so much time together.” Soledad was dumbfounded.

  “Alex is a very good listener, and that’s what Abril needs right now, a friend to listen. She’s found just that.”

  Relief swept through Soledad. If she hadn’t been sitting already, she knew her legs wouldn’t hold her up now. “Thank the Lord. I can’t believe how everything is working itself out.”

  “Justice, what’s right, love especially, I believe, will always work out.”

  “You’ll have a lot to explain, as well.” She was suddenly concerned for him.

  “And I will. I’m not worried. And you shouldn’t be either, my love.”

  Xavier returned her to the alligator pond. She exited his automobile a new, colorful woman. The world has now her canvas.

  The pounding on the porch door was as loud as the night thunder echoing across the city, and for a while, Soledad mistook it for just that. She loved this weather, and was lying in her bed, taking it in, when the pounding on the door accelerated the pounding of her heart. Knocks like that never brought good news.

  She covered herself in her lavender night robe and matching bedroom shoes and darted fearfully down the steps.

  Her fears were validated when she peered out the kitchen window and saw a drenched Emmanuel pacing near the door.

  Oh my God. Her hands trembled as she fumbled with the lock.

  “Emmanuel, what are you doing here at this hour?” she shouted out into the rain.

  “I don’t care the hour, I need to talk to you.” He spoke sharply through clenched teeth.

  Soledad pushed past him to get out of the house and onto the porch in an attempt to keep the noise, or anything else that was to unfold, outside.

  She realized her mistake when cold drops of rain pelted her face, even under the protection of the porch.

  Squinting, she tried with great effort to lift her face to peer at her husband in what now felt like a battle zone. The porch where she’d played dolls and hopscotch as a child, where she’d picked cherries, where she’d hosted friends, where her mother had told stories on warm summer nights, held no peace or happiness in this moment. Now, in this unfamiliar and demonized state, frantic eyes, and angry breaths, Emmanuel had invaded every piece of intimate memories Soledad ever had.

  Her teeth chattered, like they always did when she was nervous. But Emmanuel took it as her being cold.

  “Let’s step inside,” he ordered, briefly relenting from his rage. Reaching out with what felt like a doubtful hand, he rubbed her arm.

  “I’m fine,” she pushed back. Her arms remained crossed over her breasts. “State your business, Emmanuel!”

  He quickly pulled his hand back. “This is ridiculous,” Emmanuel shouted into Soledad’s face, challenging the loudness of the rain falling against the house and the thunder accompanying it. While he’d never been a gentle or pleasant soul, Emmanuel was never as angry or potentially violent as she was seeing him now. She was easily frightened.

  “Enough is enough,” Emmanuel stated. Although the only light came from the porch, it was clear that his face was beet red. “You will get your belongings, and you will come home.”

  “I will do no such thing.” She’d wanted her voice to sound bolder than it did, but she was stunned. What was he thinking, demanding she come home? After all that he’d done to her?

  “And what gave you the right to give Abril permission to leave, without so much as asking me what I thought about it. What am I? Crap?”

  YES! she shouted in her head. “Honestly, Emmanuel, she doesn’t want to say goodbye. Right now she doesn’t even want to look at you!” Now that it came to her daughter, her voice sounded boisterous.

  “Y tú?” Are you having trouble looking at me?” he sneered.

  “Actually, Emmanuel, I could care less. It makes absolutely no difference to me.” She had found her true love. That was all the strength she was standing on as she faced him. He had tormented her for far too long.

  “Nothing ever made a difference to you. But where you could care less, others have gladly filled in,” he stated, clearly confessing the many other instances of unfaithfulness.

  Again, as he tried to hurt her with his words, she found her strength. “Nothing you can say or do will ever hurt me again, you bastard.” Soledad gasped. Never had she used vulgar language.r />
  Pain erupted as across her left eye as Emmanuel struck her with a closed fist.

  In her whole life, Soledad had only been hit like this once before, and once again, it involved Emmanuel.

  Soledad squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, vaguely aware of something warm and sticky running down the side of her face. “Like I said, nothing you do ...”

  Suddenly, she saw movement out of the corner of her right eye. Her mother appeared on the other side of the door. “Soledad?” The fear in her voice was evident.

  “Leave, now.” Soledad gestured toward Emmanuel’s precious car.

  “For now.” With one last glare, Emmanuel stalked from the porch and slammed through the gate. She watched as his Ford Thunderbird screeched away.

  Only when she was sure the car was not going to return did she collapse to the ground. Flor, having already forced her way outside, collapsed with her, and the two women allowed the aftershock to swallow them.

  “It’s okay, my daughter. You’re okay.” Her mother let out a muffled sob. Flor forced her daughter to her feet and hauled her into the house, then guided her to the sofa.

  Soledad gazed up at her, and for the first time realized that her mother was looking more and more like Abuelita.

  Her mother stroked her wet hair, careful not to touch her injured eye. “I will never let that man hurt you again.” The determination in her voice was foreign to Soledad, but she commended it nevertheless.

  “Mamá, please don’t worry yourself with this. He’s harmless.”

  “Harmless? Are you serious, Soledad? You need to look at your face. This is a man who is not used to losing. He has always gotten anything he ever wanted, no matter what the cost.” She stepped out and returned briefly with a towel.

  “Mamá, my papá is gone. There is nothing Emmanuel can do to hurt us anymore. That’s why he’s so angry. He knows there is absolutely no reason for me to go back to him. Frankly, I don’t even know why he wants me.”

  “To win, mija.” Her mother patted her legs, arms, and face with the towel, avoiding her eye.

  “Not a good enough reason.”

  “This has absolutely no importance to me, but I don’t know how you feel about it. He will pull the very little he still has invested in your father’s trees. I’m just preparing you for that. I know how hard you have been working to protect your father’s legacy.”

  Soledad sat in silence. The adrenaline was gone, and her eye had begun to throb, but she was too preoccupied in her thoughts. Xavier had already calmed the fear of losing Emmanuel’s financial backing. Where Emmanuel had failed, Xavier was going to come in and redeem. Could this be the moment she needed to speak to her mother about the secrets she had been struggling to withhold? Did she dare?

  “My darling, let me get you something cold for that eye.”

  After holding the frozen beef on her eye for at least ten minutes, her mother pecked her on the cheek and started to get up from the sofa.

  Soledad tugged on her arm. “Mamá, I need to tell you something.” She paused. “But I don’t know how you will accept it.”

  Warily, her mother sat back down, looking suddenly old. Yes, she’d been through a lot at her father’s hands, but so had her mother, so used to bad news that she sat quietly, defeated, fatigue written all over the countless lines etched on her face.

  Soledad took her mother’s hands, settled into the sofa with her, and began recounting a long love story.

  It was dawn, and the women had fallen asleep holding each other on the sofa. Soledad’s eye throbbed with such a thunder of pain that she actually moaned. She looked over at her sleeping mother, who for the first time in many years, slept with pleasantness over her face. The rays of sun peeking in through the gaps in the shutters put stripes on her mama’s face.

  Shifting slowly so as not to wake her, Soledad slid out of her mother’s embrace, and went to the hall mirror. She reeled at the sight. A purple-black mark hugged her eye, the white no longer white but bloodied. She had a high pain tolerance, but now she understood why she’d been tormented all night. She had in her hand the now warm bag of meat that had brought her temporary relief.

  Her mother soon woke and begged her to invite Xavier over.

  “I don’t want him to see me this way,” Soledad said, embarrassed that this had happened to her.

  “I understand.”

  In the kitchen, her mother cooked with such a renewed spirit that Soledad felt ashamed for never having shared more with her.

  “I’m going to the market today,” her mother said. “Would you join me?”

  “I don’t know that I should.” She fidgeted in her chair, the milk in her mug untouched. She was not only nervous about going out in public, but at the thought that at any second, Abril would come down those stairs and have to see her mother like this.

  “You can’t let Emmanuel win. Are you going to stay indoors for the next several weeks until your mark goes away?”

  “I know. It’s just that it’s so fresh today. It’s terrible to look at. I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable.”

  Flor went upstairs, promising to be quiet, and came down with makeup and sunglasses. “You won’t be disappointed in my work.” They laughed, and her mother sat down in front of her at the table and began cosmetically repairing her injured eye, her mother’s gentle hands working quickly.

  Soledad was reminded of a time when she was small and she’d sit at this same table, with the same hand-mirror, and her mother would fix her hair.

  After ten minutes of her mother’s handiwork, while still noticeable, her eye was far less dramatic. After taking two aspirin, she reluctantly agreed to accompany her mother.

  The fresh color of vegetables and fruits on display at the farmer’s market was simply lovely. The smell was a bouquet of their very best, brought out in a parade for all to see. Soledad was admiring some pears when among the singsong chatter of the crowd around her, she heard a timid voice right beside her.

  “Hola, Señora.”

  She turned to see Ramona staring at her. Her smile was pleasant.

  “Hello, Señora. It’s so nice to see you again.” Soledad was genuinely pleased. She reached out to embrace the woman who only weeks ago was a stranger, but now something so much more. Family. She was pleased when Ramona, too, reached out for her.

  “Many congratulations to you,” she whispered into Soledad’s ear. They still held each other.

  Soledad was touched by the genuine love coming from her. She could see how Xavier found such comfort in her.

  When they pulled apart, Soledad automatically reached up and removed the shades out of politeness, and Ramona gasped.

  “Señora, what happened to you?” she asked, her voice alarmed. The brief moment of celebration had taken a bad turn.

  Soledad quickly put her glasses back on, staring at the floor embarrassed. Although now like family, she hardly knew this woman. What would she think of her?

  “Who did this to you?” Ramona’s voice was more pronounced with suspicion than question.

  “I’m so sorry you had to see this.” Soledad quickly backed away and departed in search of her mother, praying Ramona wouldn’t tell Xavier.

  Her fear came to fruition when, a few hours after they’d returned home, Xavier arrived at the door.

  “Mother, please see him off,” Soledad said, even though it killed her to know that Xavier stood only a few feet away.

  She could hear her mother not trying too hard to dissuade Xavier from coming inside, and so she wasn’t surprised to hear the tap on her bedroom door.

  Xavier came charging at her so madly that she winced in preparation to receive him.

  As if realizing his force, he slowed as he approached her, and gently took her in his arms. He planted a kiss abov
e her injured eye. “Was this Emmanuel?”

  She gave a small shake of her head. “It doesn’t matter.” All that did matter was that Xavier was here, with her. And he was real.

  Anger flushed Xavier’s cheeks. “That’s all I need to know.” He balled a fist.

  She stayed him with a hand on his arm. “He’s not worth it.”

  Xavier shook her off, then shot to his feet. “No one treats you like that, Cholita. No one.” With that, Xavier left.

  Chapter 28

  It would be exactly two days, six hours, twenty-eight minutes, and too many seconds, before Soledad was to see Xavier again. This time, it was at the airport. His absence pained her, and once again, she found herself envious of her cousin, Claudia, who when becoming engaged, had shouted it across the world.

  Soledad desired to scream to someone about what was happening to her. These precious thoughts overpowered the memory of the last time she saw Xavier, when he was on fire over what Emmanuel had done to her. She’d heard rumors that Emmanuel had been seen around town sporting what looked like a broken nose. She felt a sense of pride in Xavier’s having defended her honor.

  But today was not about her. She’d been able to contact one of her fellow benefit members whose husband was an integral part of Pan Am. Today, family and friends, not including Emmanuel, had gathered to send Abril off. Although bittersweet, Soledad knew this was exactly what her daughter needed.

  When she spotted Xavier and his family turn the corner, she felt her stomach clench. It appeared for a brief moment that Ramona smiled knowingly at her.

  It didn’t take long for the tears to come and the goodbyes to commence.

  “Before you go, I have something for you.” Soledad wiped the tears from her daughter’s face and fished in her purse for the small box she had guarded.