Her Heart's Desire

by Lauren Wilder

  ‘Of course not, she’s staff; just keep it professional and cordial, no cat fights in the great hall please.

  ‘Ha ha, funny, I think you would secretly like that, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Oh yes, you and Mrs. Reed, naked, writhing around on the floor, what a sight!’

  They laughed as he closed the door and turned the key.

  ‘Just in case, we don’t want her to catch us in flagrante on the sofa.’

  * * * *

  Mrs. Reed undid her plain black dress, pulled it off, and threw it across her bedroom in a fit of fury. She went to the dressing table and sat doubled over with rage.

  She caught sight of herself in the mirror and straightened up. Attending to her hair, she pulled grips out of the severe bun and let her hair fall loose. She was hyperventilating with anger as she lit a Marlboro and inhaled deeply.

  That little bitch, she thought. How dare she touch him, her beloved Lord St. John! She began talking to her reflection, having an animated conversation with herself.

  ‘I will see to it that bitch is gone from Highcroft before the month’s end, yes I will!’ She spat, slamming her fist onto the dressing table in fury.

  The first part of her plan was to inform the former Lady St. John of her husband’s latest dalliance. She knew Clara would be furious to learn he was bedding yet another young woman, just eighteen months after their divorce.

  Clara always had been the jealous type. Mrs. Reed knew she hated anyone who was involved with James. She still hadn’t gotten over him divorcing her, and all because of a silly fling with the then gardener.

  Of course he didn’t know about Clara’s affair with Marcus, only she knew about that, and she made sure Clara knew she knew. Their little secret had always come in useful for her when she required Clara’s assistance.

  It didn’t take much to get Clara to agree an impromptu visit. Mrs. Reed suggested she should inform Miss Lowell of her place in the house and to let her know she certainly wasn’t the first PA Lord St. John had taken to his bed.

  Chapter Eight

  A few weeks later, Marisa was playing with the children, who were on their weekend visit. They were running around the garden playing hide-and-seek when she heard a car approaching. She was instantly curious to see a gleaming black Mercedes SLR turning into the drive, tires crunching over the gravel.

  ‘Mama, Mama,’ shrieked the children as they appeared from their hiding place and jumped off the tree house swing running towards the car.

  Marisa followed, figuring she should introduce herself finally. When she saw the leggy blonde step from the sports car, she sucked her breath in. The woman was stunningly beautiful, and Marisa recognized her straight away as the blonde she’d seen having sex with Marcus in the maze!

  Clara visibly steeled herself as the children rushed her. Lunging into her, they hugged her legs, and she struggled to shrug them off, smoothing her expensive silk dress, making a grand fuss. ‘Careful, my darlings, don’t mess my dress up. Mama has a dinner to go to!’ she chided.

  They clung on anxiously as Clara unclenched strong little fists that clung fast to her skirts. They reluctantly relinquished their grasp and ran to Marisa.

  ‘Marisa, this is our mama!’ they trilled happily. ‘Mama, Marisa is Daddy’s special friend, and she works for him, too!’ They grabbed one of Marisa’s hands each and swung on them, giggling.

  ‘Hello, you must be Clara. It’s great to meet you finally,’ Marisa said as she stepped forward and offered her hand.

  Clara nodded. ‘Hello, you must be the new Corinne,’ she replied, her tone sarcastic. Marisa let her hand drop, feeling dejected as Clara turned away, deliberately ignoring her gesture.

  ‘Corinne… I’m sorry, I don’t understand, do you mean the previous PA?’ Marisa inquired, baffled by Clara’s comment.

  Clara cut her off. ‘Yes, dear. The PA before you, yes, of course.’

  ‘Look is Lord St. John around? I just popped in on the off chance, I need a quick word, in private,’ she added icily.

  Marisa cringed. Okay, so clearly this wasn’t to be a pleasant call.

  ‘Yes, he’s in the estate office. Go right ’round, I’m sure he won’t mind.’

  ‘Mind, of course he won’t mind,’ Clara replied haughtily.

  ‘I…didn’t mean…’ Marisa began, but Clara dismissed her with a wave of her hand, as though she was swatting an annoying fly away. Marisa’s heart sank. What a bitch, she thought. How fucking rude!

  Clara gave the children a peck each on their heads and strutted off across the courtyard.

  ‘See you later, Mama!’ they cooed after her. She stuck her slim arm up and waved behind her.

  Wow, thought Marisa. What a coldhearted cow! She took the children’s hands, and they all ran back towards the gardens.

  ‘Come on, last one to the tree house gets tickle torture!’ she yelled.

  She tackled them both to the grass, tickling them until they were giggling little heaps begging for mercy.

  * * * *

  Clara knocked on his office door and walked in before James could answer.

  He groaned at the sight of his ex-wife. He tolerated her because of the children, but she rarely came to see him. He knew it meant trouble.

  ‘Hello, James, darling,’ she drawled seductively. ‘You look great, sexy as ever.’

  ‘What brings you here, Clara?’ he replied, sounding agitated.

  ‘Oh, James, don’t be a bore. I come in peace,’ she trilled.

  I doubt that, he thought. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms defensively, watching her.

  Clara perched on the edge of his desk. ‘Gosh, I remember you fucking me over this very desk after our wedding, do you remember that?’ she asked suggestively as she trailed a manicured fingertip across the polished wood.

  He sucked his breath in. ‘Clara, please don’t come here to play games. I’m very busy today. What is it that you want exactly?’

  Rebuffed but undeterred, Clara continued goading him.

  ‘You loved it. You said it was the hardest anyone had ever made you come as your cock spat all over my Vera Wang wedding gown. The stains never did come out of the raw silk, you know.’

  He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wishing she would stop it. He felt his blood pressure rising. She actually repulsed him now, but it wouldn’t do to tell her that.

  ‘Get to the point, Clara, for God’s sake!’ He was losing patience.

  ‘Fine, I want to know what’s happening with the American. Is it serious?’

  James was stunned. How on earth did she know…?

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Clara. You have obviously been misinformed.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think I have, James. I have it from a very reliable source.’ Clara eyeballed him defiantly.

  ‘Well, I really have no idea what you’re talking about. Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.’

  Clara got off the desk and flicked her silky mane, admiring herself in the mirror behind his chair.

  ‘Very well, James, play it that way, but I’m warning you. I will not be amused if I hear talk of anymore weddings...You are behaving like a total fool.’ She turned on her heel and left the room, slamming the door behind her. James grimaced as the door shook on its hinges, the shock reverberating around the room. Bitch, he thought bitterly.

  * * * *

  ‘How did things go with Clara?’ Marisa asked softly as she lay in his arms that night after making love.

  He replied ‘Oh, fine, you know, okay.’ He did not elaborate, making her feel shut out.

  ‘Fine…well, what did she want?’ Marisa pressed further.

  ‘Oh, she was just sticking her oar in as usual. There are several reasons she is no longer my wife, and her interfering meddling is one of them. No need to concern yourself, darling, I can handle her.’

  ‘She wasn’t very friendly to me. I found her quite rude.’

  ‘Ah, and that would be another reason.’
He stroked her cheek.

  ‘She’s a real bitch when she wants to be, Marisa, pay no attention to her. Promise me?’

  Marisa pondered this, wondering if Clara had been trying to cause trouble between them. ‘Of course…although I did wonder what she meant about Corinne.’ Marisa couldn’t stop herself from saying it.

  James tensed at the mention of Corinne’s name.

  ‘What did she say have to say about Corinne?’

  ‘Oh, just something about me being the “new Corinne.” She was really sarcastic when she said it, though, as though she were implying something had gone on between the two of you.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ James tried to brush it off. ‘She’s just playing games; she has a way with her that would leave a saint confused.’

  ‘You would tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you?’ Marisa asked.

  ‘Of course, darling, please don’t worry about Clara, or Corinne for that matter.’

  ‘Okay…’ She let a slow breath out. ‘If you say so...’

  He turned to face her. Rolling on top of her, he kissed the end of her nose lightly.

  ‘I do say so.’ He kissed her head, her cheeks, grazed her lips lightly.

  * * * *

  Excitement rose in her belly, making her want him again.

  He moved inside her slowly this time, pushing himself in, inch by inch. She purred beneath him, making little noises of pleasure. She opened up for him, her pussy moist and welcoming. His hard cock filled her gently, and he groaned loudly as she cried out with pleasure.

  ‘Oh, my God, my darling, you feel amazing. I want to be inside you forever.’

  He kissed her neck, nuzzling into her as he moved in slow, rhythmical motions. She clung onto him, her fingers tangled in his hair as she gazed into his beautiful eyes. The dark, fringed lashes were heavy, his dark blue eyes sultry and deep, bewitching her, making her forget all about Clara and Corinne, nothing else mattered, only him.

  She surrendered herself to him as they came together, a tidal wave of passion consuming them both. Afterward, they lay gazing at each other; the moonlight brightened his grand bedroom, casting a soft light across their faces.

  ‘I love the moon so much,’ Marisa said softly, stroking his eyebrow, enthralled by every inch of him.

  ‘I do, too, I find it quite magical.’ He smiled. ‘I find you magical, too.’

  He kissed her softly on the lips, and she realized it was a perfect moment of pure happiness. Her heart swelled, and she had to stop herself from telling him she loved him.

  As if reading her mind, he caressed her shoulders, stroking her arm, his fingertips dancing as his eyes traveled all over her, seeking every part of her, devouring her with his gaze. He couldn’t hold back any longer, he had to say it. He had to know if she felt the same.

  ‘I love you.’

  She was overjoyed to hear him say it.

  ‘I love you, too!’ She threw her arms around him, and they kissed, their union confirmed.

  ‘Phew, I’m glad we’ve got that bit out of the way,’ he joked, and she slapped him playfully on the arm.

  ‘Oh, now’s a good time to tell you we shall be heading off to New York next month. I have a meeting with Fitzroy about the equity merger. I may need you on hand to help with some presentations and minute taking and other stuff,’ he emphasized. ‘You okay with that?’

  ‘Okay with it? Oh, my God, I’m so excited. I’m going home!’ Marisa flung her arms around him ecstatically. ‘Oh, James, you can take me to the Rainbow Room! I’ve always wanted to go there and dance to Frank Sinatra. “Fly Me to the Moon” is my favorite song. It’s so romantic.’

  ‘I would fly you to the moon anytime you wanted, my darling, anytime at all,’ he said tenderly. She sat up, watching the moon, a glow of wonderment on her face.

  She tucked her chin into her shoulder as she half turned to look at him.

  ‘Can we, can we go to the Rainbow Room? I’d really love that.’

  ‘Then we must do it,’ he said as he swept her back into his arms for another kiss.

  * * * *

  In the morning, Marisa bounded out of bed and ran down to the kitchen. She asked Meryl if she could prepare a tray for them, as they were having a lie-in before James left for London.

  ‘Yes, of course I can, dear. Eggs and toast for you, bacon, too, for the master?’

  ‘Yes, perfect, Meryl. Thank you.’

  ‘I will ask Alfred to bring it up.’

  ‘Thank you, see you later,’ she trilled happily.

  She returned to the bedroom and flung herself down onto James as he peeped at her lazily with one eye open.

  ‘Do you still love me?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course I do,’ he replied, grinning.

  ‘You’re funny.’ He pulled her into him and kissed her good morning.

  ‘Hmm, I love kissing you. I shall kiss you good morning and goodnight every day until you tire of me and push me away,’ he growled, nuzzling into her, kissing her neck and tickling her, making her laugh.

  ‘I will never tire of you.’ Marisa giggled as they slipped under the quilt.

  Alfred knocked on the door with breakfast.

  ‘Uh-oh,’ said Marisa, giggling. ‘We can’t let the butler catch us canoodling.’

  James leapt out of bed as Marisa tucked the quilt up to her chin, feeling her cheeks blush as Alfred entered, averting his eyes. He laid the tray on the table.

  ‘Thank you, Alfred,’ James said.

  ‘Very good, sir,’ the old man said, smiling as he left.

  ‘Oh no,’ squealed Marisa. ‘He knows we were screwing!’

  ‘Of course he knows, my sweetheart. The whole house knows. You yourself can testify to the way noise travels in this place.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Marisa looked at him wide-eyed.

  ‘You know very well what I mean. I saw you, you little minx.’

  ‘You saw me watching Marcus and…’

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘Oh, my God, how embarrassing. You must have thought I was a total pervert.’ Marisa squirmed.

  ‘Is that a bad thing?’ James asked teasingly.

  ‘You are very naughty, James St. John, spying on me…no secrets between us, eh?’ she teased.

  He tensed and pulled away.

  ‘I’d better grab a shower, things to do.’ He left the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Marisa wondered what was wrong.

  He looked flustered when he came out and dressed quickly, hardly looking at her. He collected his papers from his bureau and put them into his briefcase.

  ‘What’s wrong, why did you go quiet before?’ she asked.

  ‘When did I go quiet?’ He went on the defensive.

  ‘Just before you went to shower,’ she stated, feeling slightly agitated by his sudden change in attitude.

  ‘Oh, you’re imagining it. I’m fine, maybe a little preoccupied with work. I have a big meeting this morning, don’t want to be late.’

  ‘I see,’ Marisa said, biting her bottom lip. She didn’t see at all, something was amiss here, and she wanted to know what it was.

  ‘Righty ho, I’m off, my little filly. Enjoy the rest of your day, and I’ll see you later.’ He kissed her swiftly on the lips, and with that, he was gone, leaving her feeling confused and disappointed.

  She went to the window and watched him stride across the gravelled yard towards his car, her heart beating fast, her head in turmoil. She rang Melanie and told what had happened the day before with Clara.

  ‘Oh, God, I sense trouble. Maybe you should quit and come home,’ Melanie said.

  ‘I’m not coming home, don’t talk nonsense! I’m madly in love with James. I’ve never wanted anyone so much in my life.’

  ‘In love, already, er, don’t you think things are moving just a bit too fast?’ Melanie sounded concerned.

  ‘No, I don’t think so. I spend every day with him. It’s not a conventional courtship. We spend loads of time together. We know each other i
nside out.’

  ‘Okay…well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to start sulking so soon then. He’s a strong character and an independent man, don’t forget that.’

  ‘He is also my boyfriend and my boss!’ Marisa felt angry. She knew she loved James with all her heart. It didn’t matter to her that things had happened so quickly.

  ‘Ooh, don’t get your panties in a twist, missy,’ Melanie said.

  ‘I’m not, just don’t wind me up. You know I’m finally over Mike. I’m really happy. James makes me happy,’ Marisa said firmly.

  ‘I know that, sure, of course. Look, honey, just enjoy it, but don’t cling, men hate it; especially ones like him.’

  ‘I know, I know! You’re right. I’m not being clingy, but it does bother me the way he is so secretive about Corinne, and the ex-wife is a total bitch.’

  ‘I hear you, but try to ignore her, and don’t be too concerned about things that happened in the past. He’s with you now. If it really is love, you have nothing to worry about. Just take it easy, okay?’

  ‘Okay, I will. I just don’t get what the big secret is about Corinne, but I know who does.’

  ‘Oh, who?’

  ‘Mrs. Reed,’ replied Marisa resolutely.

  ‘Be careful, Marisa, sometimes ignorance is bliss,’ warned her sister.

  ‘Yes, and sometimes it’s better to know the truth, Melanie. I want to know why Corinne left, and that frosty cow is damn well going to tell me because he sure as hell won’t.’

  Chapter Nine

  A few days later, Marisa found herself alone with Mrs. Reed. She walked into the lounge to find the housekeeper polishing the silver.

  ‘Mrs. Reed, tell me about Corinne. Why did she really leave?’

  Mrs. Reed stopped rubbing the silver on the mantle. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for.

  ‘She was your predecessor. I told you before,’ Mrs. Reed said. ‘And in more ways than one,’ she added slyly.

  Marisa frowned, and her heart began to thump in panic.