All of Her Men

by Lourdes Bernabe

  “You ok?” Derek asked concerned. “Yeah. Just getting reacquainted with myself,” I responded still stretching and flexing my muscles.

  “Ladies first?” he asked as he swung the door wide open. Derek’s arms made a wide circular motion as he motioned for me to exit before him. “Ladies first,” he repeated this time without question. I took just two steps out of the room and waited for him to lead the way. He stepped out right behind me and grabbed a large ring of keys from the pocket of his black hoodie. Quickly, he locked the door and just like that we were on our way.

  Chapter 15

  We started down a long, narrow hallway. The walls looked like they were made of steel or something similar. I began to question as to where we were but I didn’t dare speak a word. There were so many other pending questions that our location seemed rather unimportant. Well, perhaps it wasn’t so unimportant but definitely not on the top of my list at the moment.

  There were a multitude of questions I wanted to ask but I decided I would wait until I met the others before I belted out an interrogation. Of course, who these people were was a question in and of itself. Yet I believed that when in doubt, one should simply stay mute. I’ve learned over the years that the universe tends to unravel itself at its own pace. If only my waning patience would permit it.

  We continued on down the corridor, first taking a right and then a sharp left. Before I knew it, we’d made so many turns I couldn’t remember how to get back. I assumed that was the point. It didn’t matter either way. I wasn’t likely to want to go back. I feared my life was now at the mercy of this strange man who claimed to know me and my extra- curricular activities. I simply trudged on through as he led the way to wherever it was that we were headed.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said finally breaking the daunting silence. This, I seriously doubted. I, myself, could not fully comprehend the depths of my own thoughts. I didn’t know what to fucking think. But of course, I didn’t want to answer so crassly.

  “And that would be?” I asked. I was curious to see what he would say.

  “You wanna know if my name is really Derek Jeter… Am I right?” he bobbed his head up and down with a cheesy grin.

  I chuckled slightly. Funnily enough, I was a huge New York Yankee fan and the name did strike me as a bit odd. “Well, is it?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I mean I was born before Derek Jeter was the Derek Jeter, but yeah, that’s my legal name,” he explained.

  “Hmm…I believe you,” I said. “Solely based on the reasoning that no serial killer would ever use such a high profile name as a disguise.” He’d already told me that we were of the same cloth. Assuming that was true, and as of now we were, then he was a bona fide serial killer. I could see the headlines now… Derek Jeter indicted on 50 counts of murder. Something like that would make the front page news.

  Derek’s minor attempt at providing some comedic relief likened him to me just a smidge. I enjoyed the company of men who could see humor in the unlikeliest places. It was the smiles, the laughs, and the unexpected moments of happiness that made life bearable for me and I suppose others as well.

  “K,” he said enthusiastically interrupting my train of thought. He rubbed his palms up and down rapidly in anticipation. “We’re here.” And as soon as the words left his mouth, we made another left and a pair of double doors appeared. He pushed both of the handle bars with minimal force and suddenly we walked into what looked to be the most heavenly place on Earth; a library.

  This was no ordinary library by any means. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the number of volumes it contained. There seemed to be no end in sight no matter which direction you took off in. The ceiling appeared to lead to heaven itself. The books went all the way up the walls culminating at a large circular window at the center of the ceiling which let me know that it was the midday.

  The large brown bookcases covered every inch of every wall. There was not a spot on the wall that wasn’t occupied by a book. I imagined I could spend my entire life here and not once feel the all consuming burden of boredom. It was truly a sight to see all these volumes on every subject imaginable in one place. Three very large dark wooden desks stood in the center of the library which held a lamp on each one along with a selection of a few random books. The double doors finally slammed behind us creating a loud crashing sound.

  Four men glided out from between the never-ending aisles into the center of the room. “Well it’s about damn time,” one of the men said. Immediately, I looked to Derek for some direction. If these were the men we supposed to meet, I was shitting bricks.

  --

  “Gentlemen,” announced Derek, “it is my absolute pleasure to introduce to you, Jolene Hedon, also known as, The Queen.”

  The four men didn’t say a word as they stared back at me in unison. Was that bejeweled glitter- stick coming out of my ass again? What was so god damn interesting that they stood there rendered speechless at the sight me? These men after all, were not exactly docile creatures, not by a long shot. I could tell, just by the sight of them that these men were not to be fucked with, in any sense of the word. They guys meant business. And yet, it seemed as if, no it couldn’t be. I considered myself a very good reader of faces and emotions. Were they? Was that?

  There was that confusion again. I glanced from one strange face to the next and onward to all four of them. They each gave off the same expression. Curiously, they appeared to be….humbled.

  Chapter 16

  Even as a young girl, a blossoming adolescent teenager, I could tell I was different. Different in the sense that I knew for sure, that my peers weren’t on the same level as I was. I knew they didn’t have the needs that I had. Nor did they have the wants that I wanted. Death introduced itself to me at a tender young age when I murdered poor Cassie Cooper. Her murder rose something wicked in me that would never again be subdued. It was a long time before I killed again. It was mostly due to not knowing how to go about it.

  Firstly, I knew that neck snapping wasn’t my style. I relived that first kill over and over again for years. I thought of the different ways I could have killed her and I regretted killing her so swiftly without truly enjoying my first time. Funny isn’t it? I cherished the first time I killed another human being more so than my first sexual experience.

  Not that I didn’t enjoy the first time I had sex. Sure, it was as good as any first time for any other normal young woman. Which meant it was the worst trauma I had ever had the pleasure of experiencing. But aside from vaginal-numbing pain, I knew something was missing. Sex as it was being done, left something to be desired. Friends made it seem so cool. Awesome, was how most people described it. Unfortunately, I’d been fooled by my over-zealous peers.

  After only a few less-than stellar performances, I knew I was missing some key ingredient to fully satiate my hunger.

  The only time I could recall that I felt anything worth feeling was when I killed that poor little girl. Once I put two and two together I developed a rather finely-tuned sexual palate. It was only then that I realized what I needed to do. Only when my orgasm paired together with the power and thrill of a kill could I truly quell the thirst that consumed me. It was at that precise moment when I became me. All that was Jolene Hedon had come together to experience life the way it was meant to be lived. Callous, I know. But death was a part of life. And it was a part I was more than happy to embrace.

  But to set back down to Earth, I was nothing spectacular. I was not the prolific Ted Bundy, BTK or even Jack the Ripper. I did nothing of any noteworthy significance. I simply went about my life as I saw fit. I minded my own business and danced to the beat of my own sick and twisted drum…Which is exactly why I could not wrap my head around the fact that these nefarious men gazed upon me in such utter disbelief. So I said the only thing there is to say to a group of people one meets under such extraordinarily strange circumstances.

  “Hello.”

  I’ll admit I should’ve come up with something with a b
it more pizzazz but really, what more was there to say? I added a hesitant wave for good measure, but I didn’t want to risk too much spontaneity until I got a clearer grasp out of what I was dealing with. They looked on as if I were a carnival spectacle. My unease grew with every passing second.

  Derek sensed the tension and my growing apprehension and cracked the ice to my relief. “How bout we all grab a bite to eat and get to know each other a bit, huh?” He motioned for us to move and the four men moved fairly quickly. “I’m fuckin’ starving,” said one of the men who had an uncanny resemblance to Santa Clause.

  Just like that, we all headed straight down one of the corridors of the library and walked outside into the parking lot. The library didn’t look quite as large from the outside but was still significantly larger than the other buildings in the area. Now that I didn’t think that I was going to be tortured, raped or murdered, I let down my guard a bit and asked the obvious, “Umm…where are we?” I looked at Derek waiting for an answer.

  He contemplated something in that mysterious brain of his and then spoke.

  “Might as well tell you. I think you can handle it. We’re not too far from your place actually. We’re in Central Jersey. Maybe an hour or so from your apartment.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I replied.

  “Yeah, I know. You’re pissed. I can see that. And…technically, I did kidnap you. But I’m not gunna hurt you and neither are they. You’re safe. Just try to relax and enjoy your new friends because you never know. You might actually grow to like ‘em. Just give them a chance will ya?”

  Derek had a knack for convincing people. He knew just what to say to get you to do exactly what he wanted you to do exactly when he wanted you to do it. It was an admirable skill I had long ago acquired myself. Unfortunately, I did not appreciate the way in which it was currently being used against me instead of by me.

  I sighed as it appeared I had no choice but to simply acquiesce. I pulled myself into the creepy white minivan that Santa was driving. Under normal circumstances, a young woman such as me should never ever enter a plain unmarked white mini van and expect to exit said vehicle at a later time. Chances were that the young woman would be dead within a matter of hours, no more than a day or so at the latest. But these weren’t ordinary circumstances, and I was fairly certain, well… as certain as I was going to be at this time, that I would make it out alive. As creepy as these guys looked, they appeared to be tamed. Tame enough to not kill me. At least, not now. I couldn’t say much about later.

  I slid into the middle carriage of the white mini van and Derek slid on down next to me. Santa drove while one of the other men sat in the passenger seat next to him. Two more even scarier looking men sat behind us and then Santa stepped on it and headed straight onto the Garden State Parkway. I felt like I was taking a joy ride with Motley Crue.

  I must say that the only unnerving part of this current situation was the fact that two creepy black men were sitting directly behind me. It made me uncomfortable and I took solace in the fact that Derek was sitting in the seat right beside me. In an extraneous circumstance such as this, a person will find anything to take comfort in and for some reason I took comfort in Derek. It was probably due to the fact that he took his time and wasn’t as overbearing or as creepy as the others. The reasons didn’t matter; it was something that kept me sane as I continued on this endeavor with these five strange men.

  We pulled up to a Red Lobster in some far off town of which I had no familiarity. It looked quiet on the outside but once we walked in the place was a madhouse. Derek asked the tiny hostess for a table for six which meant a very large table in the back corner. It’d be a good place for the six of us to chat and “get to know each other.”

  Luckily for me, we sat at a table and not a booth. Logically speaking, I didn’t think three of us would be able to sit comfortably in one of those booths. I just met these guys and a booth may have been a little too up close and personal for my comfort. I sat at the middle of the table. I figured I wanted to fully absorb everything everyone said and I really wanted to get to know everyone as much as possible. Hey, I was here, might as well dive on in.

  I didn’t want to be sent home with a bunch of questions as to what the fuck just happened. Once everyone was situated, I sat still reading everyone’s facial expressions. What else was there to do? I listened as well, but you could learn so much more from looking at a person’s face and studying their emotions and nervous ticks than simply listening to the words that spewed out of their mouths. Words do help, but usually what people say is merely a distortion to what their face is really trying to convey.

  A general fact in life, people were liars. And while people could control their emotions and facial expressions it really was not all that easy to accomplish. Maybe I couldn’t gather that much information from these men doing something as simple as ordering drinks from a menu but there was definitely something to see. These men were tightly wound. They were…apprehensive, to say the least.

  I took a moment to glance at the menu and ordered the first thing that appealed to me. I didn’t want to dilly dally on the menu when I needed to be fully immersed in every sight and sound. Let’s not forget that I was taken here unwillingly. Well, I was willing once we were leaving the library but I was taken from my home.

  Knowing that we were somewhere in the state of New Jersey I did feel some ease but it was not total. I was still taken by Derek and then taken here to Red Lobster where I’m supposed to get to know five strangers who apparently knew all about me. I was still unsure about what they knew exactly and it didn’t help that I knew nothing about them. That lack of knowledge was unnerving to someone like me. I thrived on knowledge and while yes curiosity thrived on not knowing it was still rather uncomfortable. Shit, it’s fuckin’ scary.

  For all I knew they were crazy or psychotic or even cold-blooded killers like me. That much wasn’t much of a stretch. I simply tried to mentally prepare myself for whatever it was that they were going to lay on me. Then I realized that I couldn’t prepare myself. I had to let go of all preconceived notions, no matter how difficult that might prove to be.

  Derek cleared his throat as if demanding the attention of the table and began to speak. “Alright, I know you guys wanna get to know Jolene but how bout we answer some of her questions before we start bombarding her with questions of our own? Agreed?”

  Everyone around the table seemed to agree in unison without saying a word. Derek went about introductions as if he were announcing the starting lineup of the New York Yankees. “Ok so to your right is Jimmy Jack and to your left is Ramos. Directly in front of you is Murph and that right there is Orlando. And then there’s me, Derek, but you already knew that right?” I nodded and as if on cue I said, “Hello. Um, I’m Jolene…to be honest, I still don’t get why I’m really here. I mean…Derek mentioned something about me being some kind of Queen and all but I just don-” but everyone seated at the table started talking at once.

  They blurted out questions left and right and made comments but I couldn’t catch on to anything concrete being said. I sat silently with a bewildered expression on my face that said nothing of how utterly confused I really was.

  Derek slammed a ketchup bottle on the table and yelled, “QUIET!” Then he brought it back down to a whisper after taking a look around the entire restaurant to make sure he hadn’t drawn too much attention to our table and finished with “for the love of God.” I glanced around the room myself but no one was really paying any attention to us at all. That’s when the table erupted in laughter.

  I didn’t get it. What was so funny? Hey, I thought…I wanna laugh too. I didn’t particularly enjoy being left out.

  “Ok. Ok!” exclaimed Jimmy. “We can get a little out of hand sometimes.”

  He smiled as if he was genuinely having a good time. Jimmy must have weighed a good 300 pounds. He was the kind of menacing black man you’d expect to check your ID at the door to a club on a night out. You wouldn’t w
ant to mess with Jimmy. His eyes practically bulged out of his sockets to get a closer look at me. If he was trying to make me uncomfortable it was working. His constant stare gave me the creeps and I diverted my eyes away from him and looked at the group as a whole.

  I wondered how these men came to know each other. If it weren’t for the fact that these men looked like they were from all different walks of life you might confuse them with being brothers. The way they clung to each other physically and the way they spoke to one another suggested they shared a tight bond.

  At the very least, they were friends. Close friends from what I gathered. All I could think about was the fact the Derek had mentioned that somehow these men were like me. I assumed he meant like me in the sense that these men enjoyed the same extracurricular activities as I do. But if they enjoyed the kill as much as I did, what stopped them from hurting me? And if there were no intentions to discard my body like trash into an incinerator, where did I fit in here? The question didn’t surprise me. I’d never truly fit in anywhere.

  However, I’d done a fairly good job of making it appear as though I did fit in when I really didn’t. I was sure I could pull it off with this group right here but I was hit with the sudden realization that I didn’t want to fake my way through this.

  Could this really be what I always believed I would always have to live without? Here I was with a group of people who kinda-sorta knew me and they weren’t repulsed, disgusted or disturbed. I’d never seen that before.

  I felt a sudden surge of…what was that? I felt the weight of the boredom that always seemed to linger in my head dissipate and excitement shuffled in to replace the hole that had been left. I felt…good. How strange and unusual. I could only compare it to what one of my kills might feel like but on a much more subdued level.