All of Her Men

by Lourdes Bernabe

  “To keep you around? What?” I asked. “I don’t get it. What am I missing here?”

  “Yeah, he just likes texting me all day and shit. ‘I miss you baby. Can’t wait till I see you cutie.’ You know, stupid shit like that”

  “And that’s worth two grand a month?” I shot both hands up in the air in disbelief. “You are unbelievable Liv. Seriously, teach me. Teach me how to not sell my body and make bank,” I pleaded jokingly.

  “Yeah, let’s go smoke real quick and we’ll come back in,” Olivia suggested changing gears.

  Smoking wasn’t permitted indoors like every other place in the state of New Jersey but we didn’t have to take it outside either. We had to go back to the locker room for cigarettes but we made our way back near the Jacuzzi to another door that really led nowhere. It was the designated smoking room for those who wished to smoke but didn’t feel like putting all their clothes back on to go outside.

  I sparked a lighter to my cigarette and inhaled slowly. I closed my eyes briefly to simply enjoy the slight rush of nicotine as it made its way through my body. Olivia stood to my left and to my surprise lit a ridiculously fat blunt right there in the room.

  “Jesus Liv, come on,” I said.

  “What?” she asked innocently. “You want a hit?”

  “Do you have to spark it right here? We could have gone outside. And yes I want a hit,” I smiled. The only thing better than a couple of hours at the spa were a couple of hours spent at the spa while stoned. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to smoke in here though. But Olivia had wielded the mystical wand in my face and you just couldn’t let it go to waste.

  Not that I was a model citizen. After all, I was a cold blooded killer. I’d lain in more death beds than I could count. I could count of course. But I never really thought about the number. Not really. It didn’t matter how many times I killed, no matter how many souls I eviscerated from their physical bodies, it didn’t matter. It was as unimportant as their names or faces. After a while, all the Tims, Johns or Mikes twirled into one amorphous figure representing the gestalt version of my life’s work. I’ve built a career out of killing and I’ve used my men as mere stepping stones on my rise to the alter of greatness. It didn’t matter if that greatness was known only to me and none other. It didn’t matter how many times I killed, no matter how many souls I eviscerated from their physical bodies, it didn’t matter.

  Yet I still preferred to play by the rules in other aspects of my life. I suppose that was why I enjoyed Olivia’s company as much as I did. She had no rules. Of course, she didn’t really know me. I could never reveal the most sinister edges of my being. And I never would. But Olivia was different. You knew what you were getting with her from the start. She was going to say shit you weren’t going to like and she was going to do shit that was really going to piss you off. But it was all real. It wasn’t for show. There was sincerity in her personality that I envied.

  I stole a glance at her as she continued to type frivolously into her phone. I could see that she was messaging multiple people.

  “Liv we came her to relax. Put the phone away,” I said taking another pull. Liv’s blunts always pulled better than anything I could ever roll.

  “What do you want me to do Jo? I got like six or seven guys thinking they’re my boyfriend. They text all day. It’s like a full time job,” she said.

  “Fuck that. That’s too much damn work for shitty sex and some money.” That was the dividing line between Olivia’s school of thought and my own. She would do anything for money and very little for good sex. I, on the other hand, would do next to nothing for money but worked very hard for the perfect lay.

  “Yeah, Jo. That’s why you have tons of sex and I have tons of money. A girls gotta pick her poison.”

  “Hmm,” I agreed.

  “Anyways, let’s get out of here before the Chinese lady comes at us.”

  I followed behind as Olivia led the way back to our nook. We set down our things and ordered another round of tea and beer.

  “I wanna go into the Turkish Sauna,” I said over to Olivia.

  “Yeah, I’ll meet you in there I gotta pee real quick,” she said already walking towards the rest room.

  I grabbed a couple of extra towels to sit on as I opened the cloudy door and stepped into the foggy abyss. It was like walking into a soggy wet oven. The sweat ballooned out of my every pore within seconds of taking in the steamy air. I laid down a towel and took a seat on the bottom ledge of bath steps. Olivia wouldn’t be able to find me if I went too far into the gray cloud so I stayed fairly close to the door.

  I leaned my back against the wall and threw a towel over my face. The towel made it easier for me to breathe. The air was so hot and thick. Most people couldn’t stand ten minutes in the Turkish sauna. I never managed to stay in here longer than that myself.

  The only sound to listen to was the clatter of my flip flops against the slippery tile. The loud echo made me wonder if I was alone. You could never tell in this room. The other sauna’s would be just as hot, but dry. The intense moisture levels here produced a heavy cloud that obscured my vision thus permitting me to see a mere foot in front of my face and the vast white nothingness that lay ahead. The room could have been an assembly hall full of silent dreary bathers or I could have been alone to sit here with nothing but my thoughts. There was no way to know for sure.

  Nothing stirred in the quiet white space and so I spread out the towel beneath me and took the liberty of lying down. I placed the other towel onto my face once again to facilitate my breathing. I’d been in here for a few minutes now and my body forced me to inhale deeper for more oxygen. I took long and slow concentrated breathes and my mind wandered into a calm wilderness within myself.

  I was in such a world of my own that I barely noticed the subtle twitch of my right hand as it toiled over to my groin and roamed the neighborhood aimlessly. I let go of what few inhibitions remained as my hand continued to peruse my lips, finally spreading them apart to reach that ultimate tipping point. It found my clitoris swollen as the blood flooded to my center. My fingers moved about in soft circles adding pressure here and there providing tiny pulses of pleasure.

  It should have mattered that I was in such a public venue doing such private things. I should have cared. But it didn’t matter and I didn’t care. I knew shame but I couldn’t feel the sting of it. Shame was the force that pushed people back. It was something I was born without.

  My fingers continued to dance erotically over my body. They lingered over to my hips and thighs and over my plump breasts and finally back down to my labia. Bill teetered into my thoughts and I imagined all of the things he would do to me if only I had permitted myself to delay my stay at his home. A minute or two longer and I would have had full knowledge of him. My mind toyed with me cruelly, as it had not allowed me to stay but did allow me to tinker with the thought of staying, long after the moment had passed.

  Yes, the moment had passed but the fantasy was not lying dormant. The crude thoughts of Bill and I, doing the things that people do, and perhaps doing some things that people normally did not do. Those crude thoughts invaded me now as I existed here in solitude bringing pleasure only to myself. I feared myself as the things I wanted to do to Bill were unspeakable. Of course, I wanted to mount him and take in all that comes with it but I also wanted to neatly cut open his skin and release his soul.

  My fingers swiveled more furiously over my clitoris and I released the tiniest little whimper at the thought of killing Bill as a wave of orgasms pushed through me and thrashed inside of me. My heavy breathing was the only sound to be heard in the empty white sauna until someone opened the door.

  I heard the slosh of flips flops but I didn’t move. I lay there motionlessly still recuperating from the vicious thralls of orgasms. “Hello?” I instantly recognized the voice as Olivia’s and I fixed myself into a seated position.

  “Hey,” I whispered. I hadn’t meant to whisper but it was all that came out.

/>   “Jo, what the fuck? You been in here for half an hour. Did you fall asleep?

  “Yeah,” I croaked. I got up and walked past her and back out into the lounge area.

  I dropped my used towels on the floor carelessly and stepped into the shower stall by our little nook. I felt the cool splash of water over my head and I stood there for a few seconds enjoying the water as it trickled down over me. It washed away all of the sweat and cooled down my over-heated body. I slowly dried off and then wrapped a towel around my head. I sat down at our table and almost didn’t notice Olivia sitting right across from me with curious eyes. I stole a glance in her direction and I assumed she was annoyed at something or other. I couldn’t care less at the moment. I was enjoying myself and I wouldn’t allow her to spoil it.

  I took a piece of bread off the table and slathered a bit of butter on its side and asked, “What? Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked in irritation.

  She didn’t answer and so I looked up to look at her. Only she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking through me. I turned my head to see what she was looking at and then I understood. There they were. Two young men sat a few tables away, eating food while their shorts still dripped with water.

  I turned back around to face Olivia and without her saying a word I simply said, “No.”

  “Oh come on Jo. Let’s just go on over and talk to them,” she begged.

  “No,” I said again. I knew how this would play out. We would go over there and then they’d figure out sooner or later that she was what she was and then they’d assume I was too. To me, there was nothing more offensive than a man believing you were available for paid sexual favors.

  “For what, Liv? For what? What good is going to come from us talking to those guys?” I asked. I looked over to their table once more just to get a second glimpse. They were both pale white, incredibly skinny with horribly acne-scarred faces.

  “Those guys are hideous,” I added. “What the fuck do you want with them?”

  “Exactly,” said Olivia. “They’re fucking disgusting. Which is why after we go over there, they’ll offer to buy us drinks and after a while we’ll all get drunk and they’ll decide to pay for everything and we walk away without having to pay for a thing.”

  “Yeah, but in order to do that, we’ll have to go over there and talk to them for more than just a little while…I came here to have a good time not give someone else a good time.”

  “For God’s sake Jo! No one can ever make you do anything you don’t want to do,” said Olivia. “Look, there are two of them. There are two of us….”

  Olivia stopped talking for a moment to allow it all to sink in. I didn’t care. I was not in the mood to play pleasant accomplice to Olivia’s antics today. Not today.

  “You know if I go over there alone, they’re just gunna ask why my friend is sitting here all alone and they’ll end up sending a drink your way anyway.”

  “Yeah and you’ll come over here and drink it,” I snapped giving her a vicious stare.

  “Fine. Have it your way. Do whatever the fuck you want,” she said as she got up and fixed her bikini. She perked up her breasts in her bikini top and swayed her hips suggestively as she made her way over to their table.

  As she introduced herself to the men, boys really, I finished off my tea and walked back over to the bar for more. Just as I was walking past them, Olivia called over to me. I turned in their direction awkwardly and said, “Hello,”

  “Jolene, our new friends here are inviting us into their private sauna. I thought you’d like to join us.”

  “No thanks. I’m gunna go get some more tea. I’m thirsty.”

  “Uh, you could have the tea delivered to our sauna,” said the taller pimply faced boy.

  “Yeah,” Olivia encouraged him. “Don’t you want to see the private saunas at least? I’ve never seen them, have you?”

  “No, I can’t say I have,” I replied. I didn’t want to be rude. Olivia knew that and was taking advantage.

  “Yeah, I guess...” I said flatly.

  As soon as the words left my lips their chairs squeaked against the wet tiled floor and the three of them rose from their seats. Apparently, they were anxious to get Olivia and me in there alone with them. The lust oozed from their disgusting faces and I could already see the shorter boy’s shorts rise a bit at his groin. They were fucking pitiful. And I felt just as pitiful as they led the way toward a door with a sign that read PRIVATE GUESTS and I followed.

  Chapter 24

  The boys led us to what appeared to be a condensed version of the public saunas. They gave us a short tour of the area. It was complete with a small sauna just big enough for a few people and a Jacuzzi, shower, and even a decent sized pool. There was even a small fire place in a small lounge area. It was actually pretty cool once I got over the fact that I really did not want to be here.

  “Excuse me,” I said towards the boys. “I need to use the restroom, how do I get back to the main lounge?”

  “It’s right there to your left,” the tall one said. “See, you don’t even have to go back out there,” he grinned.

  “Oh how wonderful,” I said sarcastically. “I’m so sorry. I forgot to ask you what your name is” I said hoping my disappointment didn’t completely show through.

  “Oh. I’m Riley,” he said happily. “My friend is Trent,” he patted his friend on the back.

  “Hi,” he said shyly.

  I smiled politely so as to not offend. But their gawky smiles repulsed me. It took a considerable amount of effort to prevent my gag reflex from kicking in. I locked the door behind me quickly and washed my hands furiously under the steaming hot water. Olivia had once again, shoved me into a shitty situation and I seethed with anger. I continued to pump more and more soap. My hands lathered profusely under the steaming water. I stared at my own reflection in the mirror.

  I watched as my own anger flared through my nostrils. I abhorred being in a place I didn’t want to be in with people that I did not want to be with. Olivia was testing both my patience and my friendship. And now I was about to test hers.

  “Olivia!” I called out from the bathroom.

  She didn’t come running as I had hoped she would so I poked my head out of the door and yelled once more, “Olivia!”

  “What?” she yelled back from one of the rooms but I still couldn’t see her.

  “Could you come help me with my bikini? I’m having a hard time tying it up in the back…”

  Sure enough, Olivia came quickly into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

  “There’s nothing wrong with your bikini!” she said indignantly.

  “Shut up,” I said as I turned on the faucet as high as it would go. I’d hoped it would drown out the sounds of our voices. I didn’t want the two outside to listen in on the conversation.

  “What the fuck man?” Olivia said.

  “What the fuck man? Really? You make me come here and you’re complaining. Just shut up. Ok?”

  She silently nodded her head with a look of concern on her face.

  “Look, these guys are gunna wanna fuck after a while. You know that right?” I asked her. I grabbed onto her shoulder tightly.

  “I’m not into them. And I know you’re not into them, am I right?”

  “So what, they got moolah baby. If they could afford this private suite they got the dough man.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. She had completely lost her standards. Both in men and in life. I stared back at her completely astonished.

  “Ok I’m not fucking them. It’s just not happening. But I have an idea on how we fuck with them for a little bit. But if we leave now they’ll just think we were a couple of teases chickening out. Follow my lead,” I said. I gave her a stern pat on the back and turned off the running faucet.

  “Alright Jo. Whatever you say.”

  We found them sitting on the ledge of the smoky hot tub excitedly awaiting our arrival. They smiled as we ourselves tip –toed in to join
them. I picked the taller kid who was just slightly less scrawny than his side kick Trent.

  “What took so long?” asked Trent.

  Olivia opened her mouth to say something before I abruptly interrupted.

  “The damn strap to my bikini top kept coming undone. I needed Liv to help tighten it up for me,” I gave them a flirty grin. I couldn’t trust Olivia and whatever might come out of her mouth. She needed to sit there and look sexy as I maneuvered our way out of having sex with these douches. I grimaced at the thought. “Are you ok?” asked Riley. “You looked like you were gagging.”

  Quickly regaining control of my gag reflex, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  I stood up and allowed him to take in the full view of my body as I took my time lowering myself into the water. “Liv, the water feels so good. Come sit with me,” I suggested. I eyed her as she teetered on over wondering what I had planned.

  “Come on in boys.” I raised both arms inviting them in.

  “So where you guys from?” asked Trent.

  “Jersey,” I replied. “Liv’s from Jersey too, you?”

  ”Russia. We both came to this country when we were children,” Riley said.

  “I hear Russia’s lovely,” I commented.

  “Not as lovely as you,” said Riley as he took a seat near me at the edge of the hot tub. It was just big enough for a few people. It was meant for intimate gatherings and this seemed to me like it would become an intimate gathering sooner or later.

  “Thank you,” I smiled. His attempt at flattery left something to be desired. Of course, that wasn’t atypical of a man his age.

  An awkward silence loomed over us. The boys were shy and Olivia wanted to get the show on the road. I, on the other hand was not looking forward to what I knew would happen. I wanted out. I was losing my appetite for Russian bath houses and so I decided to get it over with and set the wheels in motion.

  I looked over at Olivia and arched my eyebrows. Her eyes met mine in understanding. She’d follow my lead. She was good for at least that much. I inched on over to Riley, “You know Riley, my shoulders are a little tense. Would you mind rubbing my shoulders for me?” I didn’t wait for a reply before moving and taking a seat in front of his groin. His skinny little dick was hard already.