Teach Me Dirty
Page 39
She took my face in my hands, and I smelled paint and felt it, too. And when I pushed inside her she took the deepest breath and didn’t exhale until my forehead was pressed to hers.
“This is everything,” she breathed. “I’m home. This is where I want to be… forever. Don’t ever make me leave…”
I shook my head, and took her hand and placed it back on her wet handprint. “This is home, Helen. It’s anywhere. Everywhere.”
And she understood, and she nodded, and her eyes turned glassy with tears.
I rolled us over, until she was on top, and I held her hands as she moved for me. She took her time, rocking so slowly that it was nothing but blissful torture, and I didn’t rush her.
She came slowly and deeply, in waves that made her shudder and gasp, and it was perfect.
It was the most perfect moment.
And then she did it again.
I think she’d have done it all night long, if we hadn’t smelt burning waffles.
***
Helen
The best night’s sleep I’d ever had. Out like a light, without a care in the world. Safe and warm and loved in a way that made me whole.
And then I was turfed out in the nicest possible way on Lizzie’s doorstep at eight in the morning.
She raised her eyebrows, but she smiled, and linked her arm in mine like old times as we walked the long route to school.
Somehow I knew we’d made it, both of us.
That something inside her had lightened, and there was only Lizzie. I stopped in the alleyway out of habit, but she shrugged and pulled me on.
“No cigarette?”
She shook her head. “Nah, think I’ll quit. I won’t be able to afford cigarettes at uni, anyway.”
I broached the subject I’d been hinting at for days. “Will you be ok? If I don’t come, too, I mean?”
She shrugged, but she smiled. “I guess I’ll survive, Hels Bells. Besties forever, right? Even if we’re not in the same place.”
I smiled in memory of my hand on Mark’s skin, and placed my hand on her heart over her blazer. “This is us,” I said. “No matter where we are. We’re always here.”
She welled up, and sniffed, and slapped my arm. “Made me cry, idiot.” She laughed. “You’re such a bloody sap these days, Helen Palmer.”
Mum dropped my suitcase off after dinner, and she even stayed for a coffee and a look around. She looked at all my pictures, and I showed her the sculpture on the mantel and she said it was wonderful. She wouldn’t say anything about Dad, though.
“Early days,” she said, and that was all.
She said that every day for a week, but on the second week I heard voices outside after her car engine stopped rumbling.
Mark stood from the table and took my hand, and I knew he’d heard it, too.
“This is bloody stupid, Angela. Stupid.”
“Be nice, George, I bloody mean it!”
“I don’t know if I want to be bloody nice, Angela.”
And then a little voice, a voice that made me smile. “Is this where Helen lives now, Mum?”
“For the minute, love, yes. Just until your dad stops being such an ogre.”
“Piss off, Angela. This isn’t a laughing bloody matter.”
I smiled as I heard the snark in Mum’s voice, just the other side of the door. “George Palmer, you’d better be on your best behaviour, or so help me God, I’m going to move in here as well.”
Mark took a breath as the knock sounded and I squeezed his hand. “Go upstairs if you want, just until I know he’s not going to be a jerk,” I said, but he shook his head.
And then he opened the door.
And we faced it together.
Just like it should be.
***
Helen
I wanted to stay for Mark, and he wanted to leave for me.
Since neither of us would compromise he put in his notice the very next week, on exactly the same day I cancelled my university place.
We both huffed and argued the toss, and said our way was better.
And then we stopped huffing and dreamed instead.
We dreamed such beautiful dreams, and it seemed Mark hadn’t forgotten how after all.
The doorbell tinkled, one of those awesome old-fashioned bell ones that sits above the doorframe. I smiled every time it sounded.
“Hey, kids…” Lizzie’s voice was a happy cackle. “I come bearing sugar-loaded gifts!”
I put my brush down, and she held open the box as I approached. “Donuts.” I grinned. “Mark! Lizzie’s brought us donuts again!”
I heard his feet on the stairs, and the thump, thump, thump made my stomach flutter. He smiled so brightly, just like he always smiled at Lizzie.
“Elizabeth Thomas, you’re on a one-woman mission to fatten me up, I swear.”
But he wasn’t fattening up. He was glowing here. The sea air really suited him, and even the hustle and bustle of Aberystwyth’s main seaside drag suited him. The air made his hair more curly though, and made it grow, too. It was longer these days, past his collar, and greyer, but only a little.
Lizzie clicked her fingers in front of my face. “Hey, love’s young dream, I’m right here.”
I poked my tongue out. “How was uni?”
She bit down on her donut and smiled. “It was cool. You’re totally missing out, like big time. My room buddy is awesome, for real.” She tipped her head. “Nearly as awesome as you, Hels Bells, but only nearly.”
Mark took his donut and shot me a look and it made me poke my tongue out in his direction, too.
“Helen will find out herself next year, Elizabeth, since she’s only taking a gap year.”
I groaned. “What’s the point in studying art for three years? To qualify me to paint pictures and open a gallery?” I shrugged and looked around me. “Seems I skipped the uni part, Mr Roberts. You can stop harping on about it now.” I took a donut from the box. “Anyway, you teach me. I don’t want another teacher. I don’t need one.”
“I’m no university professor and this conversation isn’t over,” he said.
He kept on saying it, but these days I’m not even sure he meant it himself anymore. I liked to think I was wearing him down, slowly, just a bit at a time.
“When are your parents over?” Lizzie quizzed. “Isn’t it soon?”
“This weekend.” I pulled a face. “I’m so nervous. I thought we’d have it more… ready. I thought I’d feel more prepared.”
“Don’t be nervous, this place is the bee’s knees, Hels. It’s awesome.”
And it was awesome. Our little gallery by the sea.
Mark painted boats, and clouds over the water. He painted people caught in the moment, buckets and spades in hand. He painted life and soul in this town, and he captured it all.
And I painted him.
I painted him in everything. In abstracts, and landscapes, and weird little watercolours that made no sense.
I was always painting Mr Roberts.
And deep down, under the clouds and the sea and the sky, I knew Mr Roberts was always painting me.
I have, as always, so many people to thank for their input in this novel!
My editor, John Hudspith, who pulled out all the stops for me, as he so tirelessly does. Johnny, you are both an inspiration and a true friend. My work is so much better for your involvement, and you’ve taught me so much. Absolutely no pun intended.
Letitia Hasser, of RBA Designs, has once again delivered a fantastic cover. I love it. Thank you so much, Letitia, your work is incredible.
Tracy, my fabulous PA, thank you so very much for all your hard work. I’m so glad you are on my team.
Lesley and Michelle, for running my street team. Thank you so much, ladies, I appreciate you both so much.
Lisa, I meant every word of the dedication. You mean the world to me, and your beautiful family make me smile so hard. Love you all.
Nikki, thanks for being my crush buddy. I love how yo
u understand my crazy. Having you around has made such a difference to my world. <3
Kate, thank you so much for your involvement with the pictures. You were the perfect Helen, and were an absolute trooper trudging through mud in the hail on a Saturday in school uniform. The pictures were beautiful, just as I hoped they would be. I appreciate it so much.
Brad, I’m so proud that you are my brother. Your photography skills were amazing, and you managed to capture everything I dreamed for the Teach Me teasers. Thank you.
So many friends, and I value you all so much. Maria, Kirsteen, Dom, Marie, Sue, Jo, Paula, Siobhan, Azalea, Shweta,Tom, Matti, Rachel… Thank you all.
My Dirty Girls, our group is amazing, and you all make me smile so much. I’m so pleased that you joined me on the Teach Me Dirty journey, offering such amazing feedback and encouragement. You are all incredible. It means the world. Thank you!
My awesome street team, thanks for your tireless enthusiasm. Your dedication is fantastic, and very much appreciated. Thank you all!
I am blessed to have the support of so many wonderful reviewers and bloggers in this community. Thank you all, so very much. I’m so very grateful for everything you do. <3
I couldn’t write the acknowledgements for Teach Me Dirty without acknowledging my own teachers, who really didn’t teach me dirty, at all, not in real life, but who really did do me proud through high school. An extra special shout out to my English and Art teachers, who I had for the whole five years I was there. I was always such an… imaginative *strange* teenager, and the creative arts meant so much to my weird little soul. So much of what you taught me has stayed with me, genuinely, and I will always be grateful for that. Thank you.
Jon, thanks as always for the support and the endless encouragement, and not least for putting up with months of nothing but book talk and general insanity. I admire your patience, and I’m grateful for the way you both put up with my crap and inspire me to be the very best I can be. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you. Love you. <3
Mum, Dad, Nan, and of course Brad, who I mentioned earlier. There aren’t really any words for how grateful I am to have been born with you in my corner. My entire life has been shaped by your kindness, loyalty and belief. You let me dream, and find my own path, and supported me all the way. I love you all, so very much.
A special thanks to Dad for coming up with the name Much Arlock. It worked a treat.
Jade West lives in the beautiful rural county of Herefordshire, in England, and she loves it there.
When she’s not writing, she’s thinking about writing.
She’s really as strange as you would expect from her novels. She thinks sanity is totally overrated.
Jade loves being stalked.
You can find her on Facebook over at www.facebook.com/jadewestauthor
On Twitter at www.twitter.com/jadewestauthor
Her website at www.jadewestauthor.com
You can find her books here:
US - http://www.amazon.com/Jade-West/e/B00TPSDKG4/
UK - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jade-West/e/B00TPSDKG4/