Destination D

by Lori Beard-Daily

  “Trust me. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “How can you say that? I don’t understand.”

  “Listen Pam, you and I haven’t had a real heart-to-heart since…”

  Pam got up from the bed and began to pace back and forth. It was still difficult for her to breathe when she thought about him. “I know.”

  “You told me to never mention his name in this house. Remember?”

  Pam nodded as she walked over to the small sitting area and sat down in Dee’s oversized chair. She placed her head in her hands. Her voice fell silent as she thought about her recent brief encounter with him. “It still hurts. I can’t seem to get rid of the pain. I met him at Piedmont Park recently.”

  “What? When did he get out of prison?”

  “Just recently.”

  “But how? I mean, why was he in Atlanta?” Dee was stumbling all over her words. She couldn’t get them out fast enough.

  Pam laughed softly. “I know. I felt the same way. I guess to see me. But, he’s fine. He’s moving to Europe.”

  “Why Europe?”

  Pam shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t ask—just didn’t want to know.” She could feel herself getting emotional again. She walked back to the window and stared at the Friday night traffic piling up on Peachtree Street.

  Dee didn’t know what to say. The last time she’d seen Greg, she had told him in no uncertain terms to stay away from Pam. Pam was so vulnerable after the loss of the baby and her marriage that she thought just seeing him would only push her over the edge.

  Pam managed to look over at Dee. “He told me that you had been seeing him while he was in prison. Oh, and he’s saved too,” she said casually.

  Dee bowed her head. “I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. I’m sorry, but there just never seemed to be a good time. I’m not surprised he found some religion. He needed to do something to save his sorry soul.”

  Pam smiled at her comment and felt the tears fall gently down her cheeks. “I understand, Dee,” she said as she wiped them away. “At first I was so mad at you for seeing him behind my back, but then he explained what you were trying to do and I appreciate that. I just thought I should let you know that. But your words hurt me earlier. Your situation has nothing to do with what happened to me and him! I can’t believe you feel like you can’t talk to me.”

  “It has everything to do with you. Just look at how emotional you are. Still.”

  “Dee, I’ve made my peace with him now. I’m fine, really.”

  “No, you’re not! You haven’t been able to deal with anything that’s not work-related since he went to prison! You can’t even say his name out loud!”

  “Dee, I’m fine.”

  Who do you think you’re fooling? She watched Pam pull a tissue from the tissue box on the dresser and blow her nose. Dee said her words cautiously. But, they came out quicker than she planned. “What about Amanda?”

  Pam turned around briskly still holding the tissue to her nose. “What did you say?”

  “I said…what…about…Amanda?”

  “So, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “When did you talk with her?”

  “I ran into her last week.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?”

  “I was hoping you would tell me! I’m sick of being caught in the middle of you two!”

  “You feel caught in the middle? Why?”

  “Because I have always been the one to try and keep the peace.”

  “Peace?” Pam laughed.

  “There has never been any peace with the three of us. That was the reason why we worked so well together. All of us had our own way of making noise!”

  “Pam, you just can’t let it go can you?”

  “Sure, I’ve let it go. You and Amanda are the ones who seem to be clinging on.”

  “You’re joking right?”

  “Dee, you brought this on, so let’s finish it. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you love what you do.”

  Dee immediately got up and started walking away.

  “Where are you going? I asked you a question.”

  “This isn’t about me, Pam.”

  “Sure it is. It’s about you and Amanda still clinging on. You want to be a lawyer, but are too damned scared to take the bar. Amanda wants to be a lawyer, and she’s let her excuse of being of a single mom not allow her to do what she’s good at.”

  “She’s a good paralegal.”

  “No, she is a great paralegal! But, she would make a helluva attorney! And it still pisses me off that both of you have taken the easy way out. That’s why I gave her such a hard time at work. I wanted her to quit and go back and get her law degree. She knew those cases just as well as I did. I kept her there night after night, trying to get her to see that she could be just as good, if not better than I am. She hated me for it. But, I knew exactly what I was doing.”

  “But, it backfired on you.”

  “Yes, it did. And just like you, she just didn’t have the confidence. She let her excuses of being a mother, or not being married take over her passion. And you, geez, I just don’t know what happened to you. You can’t possibly enjoy flying around being a servant in the sky!” Pam placed her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. “I’m sorry Dee. I didn’t mean—”

  “Yes, you did. You meant every word of it.”

  “Okay. You’re right. I did mean every word of it. But, I didn’t intend for it to come out that way.”

  “Well, that’s why you are the successful one, Pam. You say what you mean and break people down until you get what you want, right?”

  “Okay, let’s call a truce here and end this discussion before it turns into something that we’ll both regret. I’ve already lost one friendship and I don’t want to lose another.”

  “So, you do regret that Amanda quit?”

  Pam looked at Dee piercingly. “I’m done talking about Amanda. I’m changing the subject. So, are you going to be able to work like this?” she asked, turning the attention back to Dee’s hand.

  Dee was glad to see that Amanda’s departure did strike a chord with Pam. Now, the only thing she had to do was hope that the two of them would mend their friendship. For now she would play along.

  “Okay, okay truce! If I tell you about it, will you stop bothering me?”

  Pam laughed. “Yes, I will.” She lifted Dee’s hand again and examined it. “What happened to make you hold the glass so tight?”

  “I don’t know. I guess it was just cheap glass, okay? “The doctor said it would heal in about a week. I’m off for a few days anyway, so I’ll be okay to go back to work. Now, you know all about me and my drama, so since you won’t let me bring up Amanda, are you ready to tell me how you’re really doing since you saw—”

  “No! Please let’s just leave him in the past. I’ve worked out my feelings. Really.”

  Dee looked apprehensive. “Pam, you really need to talk with someone.”

  Pam burst into laughter. “Oh now, that’s rich. You think I need a shrink?”

  “I mean, look at you.”

  “Dee, I’m warning you. I came in here tonight because I care about you. This was not supposed to be about me, remember?”

  “I’m sorry, Pam. I didn’t mean to come down on you like that.”

  Pam saw the drained look in Dee’s eyes. There was more to this than broken glass, and she knew it. Pam didn’t want to argue anymore. She was tired and had done enough arguing in the courtroom these last few weeks, and didn’t want to start over again at home, especially about Amanda or Greg.

  “Hey, listen, it’s been a long day for me, too. I’m going to take a bath. Will you be all right?”

  Dee nodded and ate the last spoonful of melted ice cream and went to her bedroom and closed the door. Pam’s earlier exhilaration about winning her case seemed ho-hum right now. She would tell Dee at another time.

  The doorbell rang just as Pam was about to retreat into her own room. She w
alked up the stairs and checked the peephole and opened the door. “Sedrick! Your timing couldn’t be more perfect!” Her smile widened as she stood on her toes to reach up and hug him.

  He squeezed her hard, almost lifting her up off the floor. “Hey, I just stopped by to say hi and congratulations!”

  “You heard?”

  “Your face is plastered across all the television screens. My nurses were glued to the television in the breakroom watching you. Here, look for yourself,” he said, walking over to the television and pressing the remote control. Pam was wide-eyed as she watched herself with what looked like hundreds of microphones in her face, a crowd of television reporters, and her client and his family standing behind her like she was their guardian.

  “Yes, it was a tough trial, but truth and justice was on our side today. I’m proud to be an integral part of the legal system, and I’m glad that the jury saw who the real victim was in this case. Thank you,” Pam said as she turned away from the cameras and walked off with her client and his family.

  “Well, all righty now, Attorney Madison!” Sedrick joked giving her a high five. Pam jumped to reach his long hand.

  “Well, thank you, thank you very much,” she said imitating Elvis Presley. They both laughed. “I still can’t believe the news is still running that story.”

  “I can! So, when do you make partner?”

  “I don’t know exactly, but it should be very soon.”

  Sedrick turned to look at the pile of rumpled blankets that had taken on a life of their own on the sofa. “What’s all this? Did you feel like you needed a nap after your big trial, Counselor?” He grinned.

  Pam put her head down and shook it slowly as she thought sadly about Dee hiding something from her. “No, Dee was.”

  “Oh, she’s back?” Sedrick sounded surprised. “So, what’d she say about your win?”

  “I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. She’s kind of down, so I didn’t think it was such a good time right now. But, hey, since you’re here, maybe you can bring her out of her dark mood. I was going to take a bath.”

  Sedrick shrugged his shoulders. “That’s cool.”

  “I’ll tell her you’re here.”

  Sedrick nodded at her as he took a seat in the kitchen and stared at the starry sky. His career was going great. Could things have been different between him and Dee if they hadn’t been such good friends for so many years?

  “Hey, Sed.” The sound of a familiar voice interrupted Sed’s thoughts. Dee was standing over him, wearing a pink floor-length terry cloth robe with matching slippers when she bent to kiss him on the cheek.

  “My! Aren’t we a lovely vision of Pepto-Bismol this evening?” He stood to give Dee a hug and held her longingly, breathing in the scent of her hair that smelled of fresh strawberries.

  Dee laughed and gently pushed his chest. “Careful, I might just barf up all of my ice cream on you.”

  “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, touching her face with the back of his hand. “What happened to your hand?”

  “I’m fine, doctor. Just a little cut. It looks much worse than it is, believe me,” she said impressed, by his warm bedside manner.

  Sedrick looked deep into her eyes. He could tell that something was weighing heavily on Dee and he couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain. “You want to sit down in the living room and talk?”

  Dee sat down next to him with a blank look on her face. “In here is fine.”

  “Okay, so why the doom and gloom?”

  Dee was silent as her bottom lip began to quiver. Sedrick pulled her toward him and held her close.

  “Oh, Sedrick, you’re so fortunate,” she said looking at him reflectively as tears again surfaced in her eyes.

  “Hey, why the tears if I’m so fortunate?” Sedrick said lightheartedly, trying to make her smile.

  “Just like Pam, you go after what you want.”

  “Dee, where is all of this coming from?”

  “Oh, never mind,” Dee whispered as she got up and walked to the other side of the room. Sedrick followed and stood behind her and touched the back of her head.

  “I just don’t know when my life became so darn complicated. Sometimes I just want to crawl up into a dark cave and never come out.”

  “Dee, whatever is bothering you, you know we can talk, right?”

  “I know.” Dee turned to look into his eyes. “Sedrick, can I ask you something?”

  “Yes, you can ask me anything.”

  “Okay, what if you met a woman you really liked and she was everything that you could ever imagine. Then you dated her for six months and all the time you were thinking she was a nurse?”

  “All right…” Sedrick said thoughtfully, wondering where Dee was taking this conversation.

  “Then you find out that she’s a waitress at IHOP.”

  Sedrick held out his hands and waved them in the air. “Okay, back up, and rewind.”

  “What?”

  “It’s just what you’re saying would never happen!”

  “Why? Because you wouldn’t date a waitress, right?”

  “No, because I would know where she worked. At some point, I would have either called her at work or been by to see her on her job.”

  “But what if she always had an excuse that prevented you from finding out what she really did?”

  “Look, Dee. I’m not some simple-minded brotha.”

  “Of course not, but—”

  “There’s no but. I would know, especially if I really liked her. I’m just not the type of man to be dating someone who would try and play me for a fool. And if I found out what she was trying to do, then I’d tell her to go play another brotha’ ‘cause this one ain’t having it.”

  “And that would be it, huh? You would just forget about her just like that?” Dee said, snapping her fingers.

  “No, I wouldn’t just forget about her like that.” He snapped his fingers back at her. “Especially if I cared about her. But I wouldn’t try to get back with her either.”

  “Because she lied to you?”

  “Not only did she lie, but she didn’t trust me enough to let me make up my own mind about if I wanted to have dealings with her. It’s not the occupation, baby, it’s the person in the occupation.”

  “So, you would have dated her knowing that she was a waitress at IHOP even though you’re a doctor?”

  “It wouldn’t matter to me if she picked up garbage.”

  “C’mon, Sedrick! Garbage?”

  “Well, maybe not garbage. That could get a little smelly at times,” he said, laughing at the thought. “Anyway, my point is this: If I like you, I like you. Just ‘cause I’m a doctor doesn’t make me a better person. As a matter of fact, it’s not the occupation that makes you a better person, it’s the good that you do for others with your occupation that makes you a better person.” Suddenly his cell phone went off. He looked down and saw that his girlfriend, Miranda, was texting him for an afternoon booty call.

  “Duty calls, I see.”

  “Yeah, I guess it does,” he said, turning the sound off, a little embarrassed by Miranda’s timeliness.

  Dee leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, momentarily taking his mind off Miranda’s text. He felt a strong desire to take fate in his hands, but his better judgment told him to leave her lips alone for the time being.

  “Thanks for dropping by, Sed. I’m feeling better already.”

  “Well, good. I’d better go. I’ll call you later and check on you. I can let myself out,” he said as he walked up the stairs and closed the door behind him.

  Pam was moisturizing her face when her telephone rang. She wiped the cream from her hands on the towel and picked up the receiver.

  “Congratulations, Counselor.” A smooth Italian voice flowed through the receiver and a huge grin spread across Pam’s lips.

  “Marco?”

  “I can’t believe I actually caught you and not your voicemail or your secretary.”

  “I kn
ow, I’ve been pretty busy. You did get my message thanking you for the flowers, though?”

  “Yes, and I got your stiff bill, too. Five hundred dollars!”

  “Be happy. You got a discount. It should have been a thousand.”

  “Wow, you’re expensive,” he laughed. “But, I understand now, especially after seeing you on the news today.”

  “You saw it too, huh?’

  “Yes, but television does not do justice to your beauty. You are so much lovelier in person.”

  There he went again with his smooth-talking self. She thought that maybe after he got her bill he would leave well enough alone. But she had to give it to him. He didn’t scare easily. “Well, thank you, Marco.”

  “You’re quite welcome. Hey, did you get any of the messages that I left with your secretary?”

  “I did. I know you’ve been trying to get in touch with me.”

  “Yeah, for a couple of weeks now.”

  “I know, I’ve just been swamped with the case, and then by the time I was done at work, I was just too wiped out to call once I got home.”

  “I won’t take it personally,” he said pleasantly. “So, how does it feel to be the most popular attorney in the state of Georgia?”

  “I’ll let you know more when I get the offer of partnership. Other than that, I think it’s pretty exhilarating.”

  “Well, do you think since this case is over with now, you’ll have a little down time? Or have you already started defending your next client?”

  Pam paused for a moment and thought about what Dee said. She didn’t have a life. “Actually, I do have a little down time.”

  “I can’t believe I heard you right. Did Counselor say she had some down time?”

  “Very funny,” Pam said as she dabbed some more cream on her face.

  “Well, I’ll be in Atlanta this weekend. Would you be available on Friday for me to take you to dinner to celebrate your victory and for me to give you your check?”

  “Hmmm…I suppose so. Did I hear the word check?”

  “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes,” he said assuredly. “How about I pick you up at your home at 7:00?”

  “I’ll meet you at the restaurant.”

  “Somehow I thought you would say that,” he said, sounding somewhat disappointed.