Love In In the Message

by RJ Scott

  Love Is In The Message

  The Love Is… series – Book 3

  RJ Scott

  Copyright 2012 by RJ Scott

  Smashwords Edition

  First eBook publication: May 2012

  Editors: Liz Bichmann

  Cover design by RJ Scott

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED:

  This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  The back door flew open and startled Luke. There was only one person who entered the Holston house that way so he wasn’t surprised when his best friend since kindergarten stalked into the kitchen.

  "What the hell, Luke? What did that bastard send you?" Mitchell shouted as soon as he entered the house. Luke gestured for him to calm down which Mitchell did reluctantly. He then stood right in front of Luke with his arms crossed over his chest with a narrowed gaze and tension like a cloud around him.

  "I can't believe you called Mitchell over," Luke said tiredly to Megan, who sat next to him. His sister couldn’t have known, but really, he just wanted to sit at the dining table all on his own and wait until his shock subsided. "You shouldn’t have."

  "You get a letter from the guy who nearly killed you and I find you staring into space. Of course I freaking called Mitchell," Megan snapped. "He's your best friend. I called your boyfriend too, but Cam's not answering."

  "I don’t want Cam here. Anyway, he won't answer; he's at a family thing." God, he really didn’t want Cam here. His boyfriend was possibly more protective than Mitchell, and that was saying something. Also, Cam would see straight through Luke's mask to the shock underneath. Not that Mitchell wouldn’t, eventually, but Luke had more practise at hiding things from his friend.

  "Why did Ryan even begin to think it was okay to write to you, let alone come here and freaking visit?" Mitchell didn’t start with pleasantries; he was straight to the core of it all. "What did he say to your mom? Did he hurt her?" Mitchell asked fiercely. He was über protective of Mrs. H and her two kids. The tone of his voice actually broke through Luke's daze.

  "No he didn’t hurt her. Mom didn’t even talk to him," Luke said. He couldn’t pull himself up from where he had sat reading the letter. He wasn’t planning to move anytime soon. His head spun with so many questions and there wasn’t room for concentrating on attempting to stand. He was in shock. Or at least he imagined this is what shock felt like. Getting this letter was another nail in the coffin; a reminder of things he thought he had dealt with.

  "So what did he do? Just leave the letter and then book it?" Mitchell was pacing now. From one end of the small kitchen to the other, no more than maybe six strides, he took out his irritation on the tiled floor. "If I ever meet him in an alley he'd better watch himself."

  "Mom said he tried to talk, but he couldn’t," Megan interrupted. She pulled Luke into a hug and Luke leaned in to her, needing his sister’s support.

  "What do you mean he couldn’t talk?" Mitchell stopped pacing and ended up opposite Megan.

  "Just that. Apparently, he knocked on the door, mom answered and then he stood in the doorway, gave her the letter, mumbled something incoherent and left."

  "Where is Mrs. H now?"

  "She had a shift at the diner," Luke explained. The same diner he himself worked at on late nights and weekends. "She wanted to stay. I told her I was studying and that I was fine." The letter in his hand made Luke wish his mom was actually here but he had said he was okay with the contents and anyway he had his sister here. She had really wanted to stay at home but his acting had paid off and he’d convinced her to go.

  "Did you ask her what she meant when she said he didn’t talk?" Mitchell asked.

  "Apparently he was out of Juvie and he wanted me to know…" Luke waved his free hand as if that explained everything.

  "Know what?"

  Neither Mitchell nor Megan had pushed to read the damn thing but both of them deserved to see. Mitchell had been his friend since they were too young to know what friendship was anything other than the nebulous concept of sharing toys and not fighting. Megan hadn’t known much of what had happened to Luke but she had heard the story second hand. Carefully Luke unfolded the single sheet with the two paragraphs of writing. The handwritten note was neat and implied that the writer had taken his time.

  "Luke. It starts with just that one word." Luke looked up at Mitchell. "He just calls me Luke." Unspoken remained the terrible names Ryan Kitchener had called him as he cut him deep in the back with a knife. So long ago now but Luke still held the scars; on his back and in his heart. Mitchell's face twisted in something akin to grief.

  Mitchell shook his head. "You don’t have to—"

  "I do," Luke insisted. "It's okay. It starts with Luke and then…" he stopped and inhaled deeply. Such a simple letter, nothing terrible, just an apology, a wish and a plea. "I'm sorry that I didn’t make the effort to talk to you face to face. It's the least you deserve but I'm still too much of a coward to be able to actually see you when I say this. They let me out last week and the first thing I wanted to do was talk to you so I could say sorry. I'm not brave enough and I can't. I want to tell you I was an angry kid high on stuff who didn’t understand everything I should have. I didn’t know any better."

  "Bull. Shit." Mitchell snapped. "Angry kid was a bully with a knife."

  "Mitchell—"

  "Don’t tell me you're believing this crap." Mitchell stopped pacing and then stood with a mutinous expression on his face and his arms crossed over his chest again. Luke sighed as his friend spat out the accusation. "It's all bullshit, he's just telling you what he thinks you want to hear—"

  "Let him finish reading the letter, Mitchell," Megan interrupted. She was the voice of reason and Mitchell relaxed his stance a little then with a soft huff he subsided into silence.

  "So… he says… uhmm…" Luke scanned the letter to find the place where he left off. The start of the second paragraph was stark. "I'm sorry, really sorry, for what I did. I want you to know wherever I go next I will remember what I did and I hope what I have learned makes me a better person. For my brother and for you. That’s the only really good thing that came from it all. If I think of someone doing to my brother what I did to you it makes me feel sick. So, yeah, I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you, anything, then you only have to ask. My address is on the letter if you wanted to write me." Luke shrugged. It was an odd letter; choppy and childish in its level of writing, and then starkly emotional. Ryan had never struck him as the brightest bulb in the pack so Luke hadn’t expected much from anything Ryan ever had to say.

  "How does he sign off?" Mitchell said harshly. "Love. Kisses. Threats?"

  "Just 'Ryan Kitchener'." Luke folded the letter carefully and pushed it into his pocket.

  "What are you going to do?" Megan gripped his hand and held it tight. She didn’t normally want to touch him, let alone continue touching him past a punch on the arm.

  "Nothing."

  "Nothing?" Mitchell echoed. "That guy could have killed you. You going to sue him? Hire a hit man? Write him back? What?"

  "But he didn’t kill me, did he? He's paid for what he did and I want to forget it now."

  "How can you sit there and say that?" Mitchell sounded way more pissed than Luke would ever be
. What was the point of Luke feeling anything self-destructive at seeing the writing? What did Mitchell want him to do, exactly? Cry? Rant? Shout? Demand revenge?

  "It's over. A long way over," Luke finally offered. Squeezing Megan's hand he encouraged her to release her hold and then he pushed through the blank emptiness inside him to stand. "I have chem homework and a geography quiz tomorrow to prepare for," he said. Half of him expected the two closest people in his life to argue, but a gentle touch to Mitchell's arm from Megan and Mitchell relaxed with a sigh. Then a look of horror passed over Mitchell's face as he realized what Luke had just said.

  "We have a quiz tomorrow?"

  * * * * *

  Luke rolled onto his side on the bed and propped up his case study on Africa that was nowhere near making it into his memory however hard he tried. The clock on his wall showed it was eleven and the darkness was absolute outside of the house. Megan was at an overnighter with girlfriends and his mom had fallen asleep in front of the TV not long after nine. Once he had encouraged her to go to bed he felt like the house was his to look after.

  His cell vibrated and warmth stole through him at the name on the screen, Cam, and he answered immediately.

  "Hi." His smile filtered into the single word. Dropping his book he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. Cam and his dad knew the full details of what had happened three and a half years ago but something inside him was stopping him immediately launching into a 'poor me' explanation of his shitty day.

  "I had a missed call from Megan on my cell when I got home. Is everything okay? She didn’t leave a message." Cam asked.

  "Yeah, it's all sorted."

  "What was up?"

  "Nothing. Just the usual sister-brother stuff." Luke really wanted his boyfriend to leave the subject now. He didn’t want a conversation about Ryan when there was so much more he could be talking about. Good stuff. Thankfully, Cam didn’t call him on his bullshit.

  "You still studying?" Cam's rich, deep voice, so damn sexy, echoed over the connection. They had exchanged texts over the last half hour. Cam was focusing on math and he hated it, hence one hell of a lot of sad faces on the texts.

  "I'm finishing now." Luke settled into a comfortable position. "My head hurts. You still trying to crack integration?"

  Cam made a noise halfway between a snort of disgust and a sigh of despair. "It fucking sucks. Not like I'm going to use it in sports therapy."

  "You never know what you're gonna need out in the big bad world," Luke teased him.

  "How about some private tutoring?" Cam's voice lowered and held a note of flirting. This was something Luke could really get into.

  "You couldn’t afford me."

  Cam laughed loudly at this. It was a standing joke that the only currency they exchanged was kisses and a whole lot of rubbing. Cam's laughter was such a welcome balm and emotion caught in Luke’s throat.

  "I missed you today," Luke said carefully. He didn’t want to say this and come over sounding like he was moaning about Cam doing other things in his life. Today had been some kind of Anders' family meet up day and as a friend Luke wasn’t in that circle. He and Cam had been an item for over three months now and despite both being out to their families his mom was a lot more accepting of them as a couple than Cam's parents. Luke suspected that Cam's mom was hoping there would be some kind of miraculous change in her son overnight. Hell, she was supportive, welcomed Luke to after school study sessions, but there was an edge to her words and she kept making sweeping statements like 'things change at college' and 'you're only young'. The fact that Cam's dad and mom had been high school sweethearts was neither here nor there. Luke waited to see what Cam would say to his heartfelt declaration.

  "I missed you too," his boyfriend replied. The words were spoken with a deep sigh. Cam would never know just how much it meant to Luke to hear the soft tone or the accompanying sigh. Just with those four simple words Luke felt settled.

  Pulling himself together he changed the direction of the conversation. "How were the cousins?" he asked.

  "Very cousiny," Cam groaned. "Spoiled brats who wind me up at every opportunity and an aunt and uncle who talk to me like I'm ten or something. They did the whole my goodness you've grown, Cam thing. I wouldn’t mind but I haven’t moved from five-nine for the last three years and, dude, I'm eighteen."

  "Ouch."

  "Then they dropped the idea of cooking steaks for dinner and we ended up with some fish thing that reeked of curry. I don’t like fish. Or curry." Cam had a definite whiney tone to his voice and it made Luke feel light inside to hear normal problems.

  "Fish curry?" Luke found himself smiling at the thought of his meat eating boyfriend being forced to eat fish of all things. He loved that Cam could make him laugh and after the day he'd had he needed that.

  "Yeah. I stink of garlic."

  "No kissing then." Luke laughed.

  "You mentioned kissing and now I want to come over," Cam said.

  "Come over what?" Luke said after some quick thinking.

  Cam groaned and then his voice dropped a tone. "Been thinking about you all day," he said softly. "Every time I imagine you under me, or next to me, I get hard."

  This wasn’t the first time Cam had started conversations in a similar way. Luke often thought Cam was ready to go much further than the mutual masturbation they had done so far. He wasn’t sure what was stopping him from saying let's go for it but put it down to wanting to get the hell away from school before they took things any further. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go the whole way with Cam. He did. One day.

  "Me too," he replied lamely.

  "You sound tired." Cam was so damned understanding.

  "It's been a long day."

  "Not as long as having to meet up with cousins and eat fish curry."

  "Nothing is quite that long," Luke agreed on a laugh. He wanted to say I got this letter today. Can we talk? Cam didn’t seem too annoyed that suddenly they were away from being hard for one another and instead back on to fish curry.

  "You still up for the lake tomorrow?"

  "Yep."

  "Luke. Is everything okay? You sound… not right."

  "No Cam, I'm fine . Studying too hard and giving myself brain freeze. I'll be more awake tomorrow, pick you up at nine? I'm bringing food."

  When they said their goodbyes Luke ended the call and guilt flooded him. Cam just had to handle him being off without knowing the reason why. He thumbed to Cam's number and his finger hovered over the detail. For a few seconds he thought about phoning his boyfriend and just blurting the whole sorry mess out in one hysterical explosion of crap.

  He didn’t.

  Instead, he set the alarm for seven and slid under the covers. The end of April wasn’t always the warmest here and he snuggled right down beneath the quilt.

  There was a long time between laying down and actually sleeping. Each minute he weighed the words that had hit him this morning. The sorry. The explanation, weak though it was. The fact Ryan was home which put him only three towns over and only thirty miles away. None of it sat right in his head.

  Tomorrow was soon enough to talk to Cam.

  * * * * *

  Megan yanking the pillow from under his head pulled Luke out of his dreams abruptly.

  "Wake up Loo-key," she singsonged. Dramatically falling on top of his legs she laid back and stared at the ceiling.

  "Go 'way, Megan," Luke managed.

  "Mom packed food and said I can go too. You've got ten to get ready. I'll be waiting in the car with Mitch."

  "'M'okay."

  Luke rolled over on his side away from the door and got a face full of sunshine streaming in through his windows. Megan had pulled his curtains back. He blinked and then closed his eyes going back over what Megan had just said to him.

  So much for a quiet day with Cam if they had to take Megan. He sighed. Never mind. She mostly swam and read her sparkly vampire stories and mooned over Mitchell.

  Wait? Did Megan say
something about Mitchell being in the car? Shit. This wasn’t a romantic day for two. This was a freaking field trip.

  Showered and dressed in board shorts and a T-shirt he grabbed a bag of essentials and closed the front door behind him. Megan was in the front passenger seat.

  "You're moving when we pick up Cam," he grumbled as he slid in the driver's seat.

  "I'm not sitting in the back with ass face," she replied succinctly.

  "I can hear you," Mitchell snapped back and then added a 'hey' to Luke. "Thanks for the invite, got me out of some serious chem homework."

  Luke glanced at his sister who was looking back at him with a beseeching expression on her face. He just knew if he checked his phone there would be a message to his best friend asking him to go to the lake for the day. Thing is, he also knew it wasn’t him that sent it. Megan had been sweet on Mitchell since she was old enough to walk. And Mitchell? He was the other big brother, the one who was her champion just as much as Luke was. This disturbing twist where attraction and snarking was becoming more was unnerving. The problem was his best friend seemed suddenly just as interested. He used to be the stud guy who moved from girl to girl, but recently that seemed to have stopped.

  Starting the car he shook his head and connected his iPod to the car stereo. That effectively stopped him having to concentrate on anything but driving and Cam. The last thing he wanted to think about was his best friend and his sister getting together.

  Cam was waiting for them when they pulled up in front of his house. Dressed in cut-off jeans and a bright purple T-shirt, he looked calm and at ease and waved at Luke. He called something back in the house and then jumped the short wall around his front yard. Luke stared in awe of this boy who seemed to want to be part of his future. Gorgeous, tanned, and so damned happy to see Luke it was every dream he had ever had come true. A familiar wave of affection and love slid over him. Being with Cam made life good.

  As Cam loped towards the car Luke felt a stab of guilt that he hadn’t been honest with his boyfriend last night. Luke resolved to remedy that as soon as they were settled at the lake. Cam proved his best boyfriend status by simply climbing in the back seat next to Mitchell and high fiving him. That he and Luke had two extra people on their date with them didn’t seem to faze him.