by JF Jenkins
He stared out at the waves as they rolled in towards the beach. They were a lot larger today than usual, more violent even. A storm was coming. Off in the distance he could see dark clouds over the ocean. It wouldn't be long until they came over the house.
The water splashed at his feet, and the soft rumble of thunder could be heard. He stood, wiped the sand from his backside, and started for inside only pausing briefly on the way to pick up a pretty pink shell to add to his collection of beach trinkets. Someday when he saw his brother again, he'd show off all of the fun things from his adventures. He climbed up the stairs to the deck of his home, and walked in after wiping his feet off on the rug.
"I thought you were going in to town today," Gwen said from the kitchen. She'd been keeping busy in there a lot. Every day there was some new treat in the oven, or a new experiment for dinner. The house was also always impeccably clean. Then again, there was only so much for them to do to keep busy. If he went to town, she stayed home. If he stayed, she left for the afternoon.
Jason gave her a small smile. "I decided to go for a walk first, but noticed a storm was coming in. Probably a better idea if I stayed home instead, don't you think? It could be scary."
"If you're worried about me cowering in fear, you needn't. We used to have storms a lot on the farm. Thunderstorms, tornadoes, the works. Pretty common when your homeland is flatter than a pancake." She returned his smile, but didn't move from behind the counter. Tough body language for him to decipher. Her smell suggested she wanted to be close to him, but there was also a bit of fear mixed in as well. He was pretty sure it wasn't because of the storm.
With a shrug, he sat down in the nearest chair he could find. "Back in the city, it hardly ever rained. Kind of like here. When it did, it usually only poured all day and that was it. We've yet to have a storm here. I heard they can be intense."
"Sounds to me like you're the one who's afraid."
He shrugged. "I didn't want to leave you alone in case something happened. It's part of my gentlemanly nature. Besides I..."
"You?" She leaned forward across the counter.
"I've missed you. This is kind of stupid. I'm being kind of stupid."
"It's natural. We're in an awkward situation. I figured you wanted some time to yourself to figure things out, so I've been keeping away. Forcing myself on you isn't helping anyone."
"You're probably right." He bit his lip remembering just how she had tried to do that last time and how much he'd liked it. No, loved it. Her ability to take control over the situation had been pretty hot. If that voice hadn't kicked in and started talking to him again, they probably would have finally made love. Now the ball was back in his court.
Sighing deeply, he put his head in his hands. "I don't know what my problem is." He paused. "Okay, I'll be honest. I do know what my problem is, but I don't know how to explain it to you in a way you'll understand."
"You don't need to. Before I wasn't ready, and that held us back. Now you're realizing that you're not attracted to me. I'm sure this happens and it's normal." She shrugged, and he could tell she was purposefully trying to keep her body language casual to mask how much it all bothered her. A wave of plum mixed with salt floated towards his nostrils and he recognized it as deep sadness.
He frowned. "Is that what you think? I don't find you desirable? You're beautiful Gwen. Saying no has always been the hardest thing I've had to do, especially now when there's nothing keeping us apart but ourselves."
"So then...why?"
"That's the part I'm trying to figure out how to explain. Everything has been different ever since the ceremony for the prophet," he said. This was as good of a place as any to start. The voice came into his head shortly after the ceremony happened.
She nodded, and moved out of the kitchen to sit next to him and touched his knee with her hand. "I've noticed. I wasn't sure if it was because of that or just all of the stress going on with your family. A lot has been happening in a short period of time."
"Yeah, but there's more to it."
Don't tell her. She won't understand. She'll hate you. You'll lose her. Forever, the voice chided. Jason rubbed at his forehead, trying to shove it aside, but it only got louder as it repeated those five phrases over and over again.
"Please try to tell me." Her dark eyes grew wide. The scent of her tears was mixing with the sadness. Thunder cracked.
He took in a deep breath. "I'm doing this."
Your loss then.
"I'm not going to lose her," he said softly. Gwen stared at him with a raised eyebrow. While he'd been hoping she hadn't heard him, it was a good thing she had. Another deep breath, and then he took a leap of faith.
"I've been hearing things, a voice, trying to dictate how I live my life. It's similar to my own inner monologue, but I know it doesn't belong to me. It probably doesn't make sense. Maybe I've finally snapped from the pressure and taken on another persona, but it's there. Every time we get close, it starts whispering to me about how we should make love."
"Sounds like a mood killer," she mumbled. He wasn't sure if he appreciated her attempt at humor or not. Part of him would have rather she just say whatever was really on her mind. There had to be more.
"Among other things."
"Maybe you have simply cracked because of all the drama. Why didn't you tell me this sooner? I've been worried sick about you."
"Because I don't want you to run, or treat me differently. I especially don't want you to feel like you have to start walking on eggshells around me. The longer this continues though, the worse it's going to get."
"You think? You've been moody."
He rolled his eyes. "For a lot of reasons."
"Then let me help you be less moody by taking care of as many of them as possible." The hand on his knee tightened.
"Fine."
"As for this voice thing. Are you sure it's not your subconscious trying to tell you something? A side of you that you've been neglecting maybe?"
"A more aggressive, angry, side?"
She shrugged, chewing on her lower lip. "For the most part, you're calm. A good quality to have. With the lack of morals your family has, and how much they go against your personal beliefs, I think it's only natural to be angry. Maybe you should try letting it out more instead of letting it build up. If you're holding back because you want to impress me you don't need to. We're beyond that stage. We're supposed to be best friends too you know."
He let those words resonate for a moment. A lot of logical sense was in them, though he wasn't sure if that was the problem. Something still felt wrong inside of him. "Maybe, but the thing that troubles me most is it keeps talking about how I can release it by being one with you. If anything is not attractive to me, it's that. I don't want that moment to be filled with those emotions. We both deserve better than that."
"We do, and we'll have it. Focus on us. On me." Her hand tightened around his knee at another loud boom of thunder.
"I thought storms didn't scare you?" he teased.
"They don't, but sudden thunder still startles me when I'm not expecting it."
"Good point."
"Back on topic. If this voice is something else, what do you think it means?" she asked.
"Something scary and bad. When my brother and I performed that ritual, anything could have happened. So much of it I don't remember after I blacked out. I'm not a strong believer of all things spiritual, but I do know there is another realm beyond our own, and that he and I had accessed it." He shook his head quickly, not liking any of the possibilities. "Let's use your theory. I don't like mine much. I'll stop psyching myself out one of these days."
Another squeeze on his knee, but this time it was gentler, soothing even. "You're fine. Dinner will be ready in a couple of hours. I made turkey."
"Getting adventurous."
"Yes, I—" she jumped again at the thunder. She stood, and offered her hands for him to take. "Come lie with me on the couch."
He swallowed, staring up a
t her and how beautiful she looked in the soft lighting of the room. Lights that flickered momentarily when there was another crack of lightning. "I'm still not—"
With a sigh, she grabbed a hold of his hands and tugged him off the chair. "We've barely said more than two words to one another for almost a week. You haven't touched me in even longer. Please, just hold me for a little while?"
"All right." That he could do.
Chapter Fourteen
The Inero
Being pregnant was a lot more hassle than Kat thought it would be. Matt had told her it would be different for her since he was a dragon. One good thing was that it didn't last nine months, not in her womb at least. She'd only carry the baby in her stomach for six of those, and most of the growth would happen outside. This meant little weight gain. She was a little puffy, and her breasts were more swollen, larger even, than she remembered. But she didn't feel like a blimp. She'd seen how big some pregnant women got, and was glad that wouldn't be happening to her. Vain of her, but she was already giving this child enough of herself as it was.
Happy, the baby's voice said inside of her head.
I am happy. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. She let out a soft sigh. I want to hold you. Then I'll be even happier. In a month and a half when she delivered the egg inside of her, she'd have to wait another three months for it to hatch before she could do so. It was all so strange to her, but she liked it.
She walked through the castle courtyard to the wives' pool. This was where she spent most of her time. A difficult adjustment to make at first, but now it was just as normal as everything else. Back home, before she'd come to live with Matt, she didn't have a lot of female friends. Most of the girls in her town were not near her age. They were either one extreme of older or younger. On occasion she'd play with the little girls, help them with their hair and other similar things, but they didn't count as peers. The older women were polite, but didn't offer much else.
At the pool she had a lot of ladies to converse with. Most were hollow and civil. A few though became her best friends. Tiffy and Ariana were two young women her age. They had been taken to be a part of the Elite a cycle or two before hers. The process of becoming one of these select, chosen few happened once a month. It was this coming of age ritual which helped the Inero dragon men choose their new brides.
A number of the virgin girls who were considered of age, usually between sixteen and nineteen years old, were taken from home. Then they were brought before the young Dragon Lords who were usually also pure and had yet to wed. From that day forward the girls were considered Elite. Being a member of this group meant they would never have to worry again about being taken care of. Wealth and power were theirs. What Kat was starting to discover, though, was how lonely most of them were. The men did not always want to keep their new brides.
The place was depressing her lately. Already about half of the marriages amongst the newly wed couples were starting to crumble. It was hard to watch when things were going so well for her. She and Matt had problems, but neither of them were quitters. Nothing seemed drastic enough to end everything over either.
All of her friends were at the pool, however, and she was starting to miss them. As soon as she stepped through the gate, they rushed over to her.
"Where have you been?" Tiffy asked, wrapping her arms around her. "I've been waiting for you so I can tell you the huge news. I'm expecting too!"
"That's great," Kat said, truly happy for her friend. Her other friend Ariana hung off to the side some. Kat moved to hug her next. "And how are things with you? Any better?"
"Ellis has found someone else," Ariana said with a weak smile and a shrug. "I'm not concerned though because for a while I've had a crush on the assistant manager at the super market. You know, the twenty-something dreamboat with the black hair and olive eyes? Delicious muscles too. We...talked...recently and are going to try a date."
Kat wasn't sure how to react. The way Ariana had said "talked" suggested that perhaps a lot more than simply talking had happened. Kat hid her disgust over the idea and instead forced a smile onto her face. Ariana was happy. That was the important thing right? She'd been lonely for so long. She and Ellis were never a good match.
"And what about you? How have you been?" Tiffy asked Kat.
She gave a small smile and a wave of her hand. "I've been at home sleeping a lot. Matt is home for the time being and I feel like I need to take advantage of this as much as possible."
"Well try not to spend so much time away from us because you've been missed. This whole place is different without you," Ariana said.
"Yes," Tiffy added. "Did you know the Great Lord is finally back with Lenora? Isn't it a dream?"
Kat nodded; she'd heard. Lenora had told her the news in person shortly after it happened. What the other two young women didn't know though was that part of the price of being with the Lord meant sharing his heart. Lynx was still smitten with Navi. Kat couldn't imagine having to make that kind of a sacrifice. She opened her mouth to say something, figuring it would be polite to do so, when she noticed there was a new woman at the pool.
"Who's that?" she asked, pointing to a tall, thin, blonde woman who appeared to be around twenty-years-old. Her skin was pale, and Kat caught a glimpse of blue eyes staring at her from across the pool. She was speaking with Lenora. Jealousy started to bubble up inside of Kat at the idea of anyone possibly taking her place as Lenora's cherished one. Even more so at the idea of it being done by an outsider. This woman was clearly not of Inero blood. In fact, she looked as though she belonged in Oceina.
Tiffy and Ariana both followed her gaze.
Ariana shrugged. "This is the first time I've seen her here. I guess you came back on a good day, because this has to be juicy."
"Yes," Kat said stiffly and walked over towards Lenora with more confidence than she felt. If she was going to maintain her position of power at the pool, she needed to show she had earned it. All of her doubts were pushed aside when she made eye contact with Lenora. The woman stepped away from the thin blonde and went to hug her.
"I have missed you so," Lenora said softly.
Kat swallowed back her tears. "I've missed you too. Most of all. I know I should have come back here sooner but—."
"You've been unwell child, it is quite all right. Thank you for letting me visit you so often." They held the hug for a few seconds longer, before Lenora stepped back and put a hand on the blonde. She never once let go of Kat though, solidifying just how important the girl was to her. "This is Ashley."
The blonde extended her hand for Kat to take. Kat did so, and gave it a firm shake, still unsure of what to think. "Pardon my asking this, but how did you come about these parts? I've never seen anyone like you here before."
Ashley laughed, stepping away from the other two women. "It's a long and complicated story. I'll leave it at: I've seen where I'd rather spend my time. Your people are an inspiration. I crossed the border a month ago. Originally I was going to go to the Terran country, but I met a young man named Josiah and he brought me here. It's with him I'm currently staying."
Interesting. Kat nodded, keeping a polite smile. An Oceina woman, playing house with an Inero man? She didn't want to know how that was working out. Was she considered part of the Elite? Didn't she have to be wed to one of the upper class Inero Lords for such an honor? A lot of intriguing questions she hoped she'd get to ask.
"This is her first day here. I was asked by Lord Lynx to show her around. Soon she'll be joining our ranks. Rumor has it someone is going to propose," Lenora said with a coy smile. "Or so I've heard." She leaned in to whisper in Kat's ear. "Josiah has gone to the Great Lord himself to ask for permission. Usually this sort of thing is not necessary, but since she is a foreigner it is needed."
By foreigner, she meant Oceina. If Ashley had been of the Terran, she doubted it would have been a big deal. Ashley was practically glowing and she shrugged with a sense of innocence. She didn't come off as being all too in
nocent however. Something about this woman bothered Kat, and it reflected in the baby.
Scared. Kat rubbed her stomach, trying to communicate that there was nothing to fear. She would protect her child from all harm.
"I look forward to getting to know you more," Kat said. She reached out to give Lenora's arm a squeeze. "And I will see you for lunch in a couple of days? I think I need to go back and lay down. My delicate condition is making me a bit dizzy." For the first time since being pregnant she used it as an excuse to get out of something. She needed a polite exit though. Turning her shoulder on Ashley could prove to be a disastrous move in multiple ways.
Lenora kissed her forehead in a motherly fashion. "Yes, of course. We have so much catching up to do. I'm sorry I've been so busy. I'll explain it all later. Get some rest child. I will send you something tonight, a little treat which helped me through my later months."
"Thank you." She bowed politely to make sure Ashley knew Lenora should be respected properly. She didn't know much about the Oceina, but they did not practice the same displays of honor as the Inero. If she was going to fit in, Ashley would have to learn. Kat started down the path back towards the gate.
"Hey Kat?" Ashley called after her.
She turned and made eye contact with bright blue eyes. "Hmm?"
"Mint helped me a lot with mine."
Kat gave another forced smile. "Thank you, I'll give it a try." Only she wouldn't.
Chapter Fifteen
The Oceina
Journal,
I've been unsure of what to write for a few days, and that's why I've been neglecting you. When Darien gave you to me at the beginning of the summer, you became my safe haven for all of my secrets. I can have privacy here. And the shower, but here is different because I feel like I'm talking to an old friend. There are no good excuses on why I haven't written this week. Like always I'm tired. I feel like I'm only a broken record these days anyway. Why bother right?