by Cat Mann
Chapter 4
Who am I
“Thanks, Fauna. I’ll take a look at it here and get back with you later on today.”
“Sure, Boss. Just let me know what you need me to do.”
“You’re working?”
I looked up from the desk phone at Ava who was leaning in on the doorframe of our home office and staring in at me in disapproval. Her hair was silky and shiny, her round cheeks clean and glowing and her nails freshly polished.
“You caught me. I’m sorry, Baby. I’m done now, I didn’t realize you were home. You look lovely. How was your morning with my mom and sister?”
“I thought you were spending the morning with Max.” She was too disappointed with me to be distracted by my question. “I thought you were giving him a surf lesson. He was looking forward to it, Ari.”
“We did that. He’s getting brave.”
“Where is he now?” Her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
“His room with that new book you gave him. He’s loves that one. It has become a fast favorite.”
“No more work until Monday. Ok? You promised.”
“No more work until Monday.” My head bobbed in agreement and apology just before I glanced at the computer screen at the image that Marketing approved despite my strong feelings against its use. My shoulders fell in defeat. I had had hopes of going in a different direction.
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’m all yours. What’s on your mind, Beautiful?”
“I want to know, Ari, who are you?” She blindsided me with her question and every muscle in my body clenched, my stomach tightened and my lungs froze.
“It doesn’t matter. Hey, listen, we need to talk about the baio fashion show-”
“No we don’t. Who are you?”
The curvy line in her brow deepened when her eyes narrowed. Her stare dug into mine.
“I, um… Ava, where is this coming from? Why do you even care? Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden? What difference does it make?” I jumped into defensive mode much more quickly than I probably should have. My fingers raked through my hair again and again tugging on knots and pulling painfully at the roots.
Ava has asked me who I was a few times throughout our relationship and I have always managed to dodge the question. She knows that I descend from Adonis and that is all that she needs to know.
“I am curious. I want to know. I want to learn these things, Ari. We are having a baby together and I want to know who we are having. What to expect.”
I gave her a short dismissive laugh at her question and she flinched at the quick and flippant insult. Her question and reasoning were actually quite astute and valid. She was right to want to know the answer. I was just too fearful to tell her.
“Don’t laugh at me,” she spat.
“You already know who I am, Baby.” I softened for a different approach. “You know me better than almost anyone.”
“Who are you? Tell me, Ari,” she begged.
“I am Ari, husband to Ava, father to Max and I am excitedly waiting the birth of our baby. That is all I ever I want to be. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. That’s enough, Ava. We are done here.”
“Excuse me?” Her molars ground sharply together; I could hear them crunch from across the room. Ava was more than mad and she had every right to be.
“You heard what I said. We are done with this conversation. I still have work to finish. I’ll meet you and Max by the pool in a while, once I am done. Now excuse me.” My softened approach hadn't worked and I had no choice but to be insulting. Hurting Ava’s feelings was a small price to pay. I was doing her a favor. I was doing us both a favor. I could live with her angry, but I couldn’t live with doubt, I could not live with her gone from my life.
She refused to leave the office and stared across the desk at me with angry eyes and tight lips. My blood warmed and a wild fire rushed through my veins. A nervous ball of tightly wound energy sucker punched my core. No matter how hard I may try to prepare myself, I would never be willing or ready for this talk, for this fight, for this heartache. She would be angry but mostly she would be hurt. She would question me, she would question my love for her. She would think horrible things about me. She would think she wasn’t supposed to be mine and that we made a mistake. I love only her but she would still be right to come to those conclusions.
“Ava?” I picked up the phone and dialed my assistant, giving her a cold and final dismissal.
Fauna answered and I leaned back in my chair and tilted around to look out at the sea while I talked over the image and the ideas I had come up with to stop Marketing from pushing the decision through.
“Is Margaux backing this?” I asked Fauna.
“Yes. She has her mind made up.”
“Did she even humor the other suggestions?”
“She gave some thought to them but it wasn’t enough. We’ve lost, Boss.”
The stale air pushed through my tight lungs when Ava’s receding footsteps were followed by the closing of the office door.
“Shit. Fauna, this is bad.” I said and hung up the line.
Ava’s question made the nerves in my stomach erupt and scatter from my tight core up to my chest and down through my gut and finally through my limbs, winding a path of unsettling energy until I was sweaty and light headed.