Paranormalcy

by Кирстен Уайт

  He laughed and I went weak in the knees. Reth spreading his warmth through me was nothing compared to how I felt about Lend, how that laugh made me feel.

  “You’re kind of incredible, you know that, Evie?”

  “I kind of figured.” Grinning mischievously at him, I moved my hand from his face and wrapped both my arms around the back of his neck.

  He put one of his hands behind my back, pulling me in closer, then traced his fingers along my jaw.

  I was on the verge of hyperventilating, almost scared now that the kiss I’d dreamed of for so long seemed like it was going to happen. Our lips were only a few inches apart. Then his face went serious, and our lips weren’t any inches apart at all.

  I closed my eyes, melting in. His lips—oh, bleep, his lips—just when I thought his skin was the softest thing ever. And warm like you wouldn’t believe. I felt like I was floating: I couldn’t believe I was there, kissing Lend, and it was the best kiss ever.

  After a few seconds I wondered if I was supposed to be doing anything else. I’d never done this before. Lend must have been thinking the same thing, because he slowly moved his lips. I answered with mine, and we stood there in his room, figuring out how to kiss.

  It was absolutely amazing.

  I could have done that all day. How on earth had I never kissed before? After what seemed like forever and no time at all, we pulled apart. Lend looked at me.

  “Are you sure that was your first kiss?” he asked in his wonderful voice, eyeing me in mock suspicion.

  “Wasn’t it yours?” Oh no. What if I was doing it wrong?

  He laughed. “Yeah. But I’d kinda like to do it again…”

  I answered by leaning in and positively smashing my mouth against his.

  We were really getting the hang of it when a knock made us jump apart. “Doors open, please,”

  Lend’s dad called through the shut door.

  “Um, yeah, sorry, Dad,” Lend said. Pigment rushed back into him, and he settled into his normal hottie appearance. Opening the door, he grinned. “Just telling her about tonight.”

  “For the last forty-five minutes?” David raised his eyebrows. Holy crap, had it really been that long? I blushed from head to toe but Lend laughed. “Why don’t you two come and talk about it downstairs?”

  “Sure.” Lend held out his hand for me and I took it, still embarrassed. I spent the next couple of hours in giddy impatience. I kept remembering that we had kissed—I had been kissed!—and the giddiness set in anew.

  Finally it was time for us to go. Lend seemed more relaxed and happier than ever on the drive, joking around about making me pick up the tab for the date.

  The pizza place was great—packed and noisy, with dim lighting and bench tables. John, a lanky red-haired guy I recognized from school, waved to us from a table in the back near some arcade games. There were five other kids, a couple of whom I had met.

  A girl I didn’t know beamed at Lend, way too excited to see him. Pretty, with dark hair and too much makeup. I didn’t like the way she looked at him, or the way she leaned forward, using her low-cut shirt to its full advantage. I shifted closer to Lend and wished we were holding hands. Still, I’d dealt with predators she couldn’t imagine in her darkest nightmares. I wasn’t intimidated. Much.

  “Lend, you’re back!” she said. “I’m so glad, I was really worried about you! You must have been so sick! I tried to bring you cookies, but your dad said you were contagious.”

  “Yup, feeling better now.” Lend smiled politely.

  The girl hadn’t so much as glanced at me. It was like she was trying to make me disappear by the sheer force of her determined ignoring. Finally, when she realized that Lend wasn’t going to say anything else, she looked at me with a thin smile.

  “Who’s this?”

  “I’m Evie.”

  “Hi! I’m Carlee. Are you guys cousins or something?” She looked way too hopeful as she said this.

  I turned to Lend, looking at his black hair and dark brown eyes. “Wow, I had no idea we looked that much alike.”

  “So you are!” she said, almost laughing with relief. I felt bad.

  “Nope, not related at all,” Lend said. “Evie just moved to the area.”

  Her face fell. Poor thing. She was a trooper though, I’d give her that. She plastered on a bright smile. “That’s so great!”

  We sat down and Lend put his arm around me. Every single jaw at the table dropped.

  “Man,” John said, shaking his head. “All this time I was pretty sure you were gay.”

  I batted my eyes innocently. “I’m sorry, John. Are you disappointed?” Everyone laughed, and John grinned.

  “Maybe a little,” he answered, scooting into Lend’s free side to cuddle up.

  “Oh, get off me.” Lend shoved him off the bench. After that, I was part of the group. Me! Part of the group! I thought yesterday had been the best day of my life, but today beat it by a million. At school

  I had been an observer, but here I was really hanging out, accepted.

  There was nothing special about it (besides Lend, who I liked more than I dared admit). But with these ridiculous, clueless teenagers, I felt at home. Sure, I jumped every time a blond girl passed my peripheral vision and got cold chills when I thought I saw someone who looked like Reth, but no one noticed how twitchy I was. I reassured myself with Tasey’s familiar bulk in my purse and the heavy weight of the iron knuckles in my pocket. Things were going to be fine.

  As the evening progressed Carlee seemed to get over her disappointment and flirted up a storm with

  John, which was a relief. “You’ve got really pretty hair,” she said when John got up to play a game.

  “Oh, thanks!” I said, genuinely pleased. “I love your necklace.”

  She smiled and, with Lend’s arm around me and the growing hope that I’d have friends, I was elated. There was no pressure, no one to report to, nothing that I needed to do.

  For the first time ever, I was just a teenager.

  Rather than go right in when we got home, we walked a little way into the trees. He was amazing in the dark—there was definitely a luminescence about him. My wrist was like an open flame, but I ignored it as Lend’s color melted away and we kissed until my hands were so cold they hurt. When my teeth started chattering, he pulled away and laughed. “Okay, time to go in.”

  He put his arm around me as we walked to the house. “Evie?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m just—I’m glad we can be ourselves with each other. It feels like I can be totally honest with you. I’ve never had that before.”

  My stomach sank. He was finally being honest. But what was I doing, hanging out with normal teenagers, pretending I could be one of them? Lend showed me exactly who he was, but he had no idea what I was.

  Suddenly the whole day felt less like the best one of my life and more like the biggest lie I’d ever told.

  SO ALONE TOGETHER

  L end and I were out in the woods again, kissing. It was nighttime, but I could see perfectly.

  “Wow,” Vivian said, and I looked at her, then back at Lend and me. Seeing us kiss from farther away made me sad for some reason, like it wasn’t me anymore. Like it never was to begin with.

  “Look at you two go.”

  I shrugged, uncomfortable standing there watching myself make out with Lend. “I really like him.”

  “Obviously.” She frowned. “What is he?”

  “None of your business, that’s what he is.”

  “No, seriously, he’s different.”

  “Yup. And mine.”

  Vivian laughed. “Oh, chill out. I won’t try to steal your little boyfriend. I won’t have to.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I glared at her.

  “Do you really think he’s going to stay with you when he finds out what you are?” She didn’t say it cruelly. In fact, she looked sorry for me.

  “He likes me,” I said, realizing how pathetic it sounde
d.

  “You’re not what he thinks you are. You’re not one of them. You can pretend—pretend to be normal, pretend to be paranormal, but it never matters in the end. We aren’t anything.” Her face was empty.

  “Why do you do it?” I asked softly. “Why do you kill them?”

  “I’m not killing them! I’m letting them go.”

  “You don’t have to kill them.”

  She looked at me, her pale eyes deep with sorrow. “It’s what we are, Evie. It’s what we’re supposed to do. Let them go, release them. They don’t belong here. And if I didn’t take their souls, I’d die.”

  “You’re really pulling out their souls?”

  She shrugged. “Souls, spirits, life energy, whatever. It takes a huge amount of energy to sustain life, and paranormals live a long, long time. That’s what I take. I figure it’s a win-win situation. They finally get a ticket out of this miserable, cold world, and I get what I need to keep going.”

  “But I don’t do that, and I’m not dead or dying.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “You’re brighter again today. Either that faerie’s been visiting, or you’ve been getting it somewhere else. We don’t have our own souls, Evie.”

  “I have a soul,” I said, desperate.

  “We’re both Empty Ones—like little, hollow china dolls. We can’t keep going on our own. When we were made, they only gave us a little bit. Such a very little bit. Even humans have brighter souls than we do, and they have such a pathetic amount it’s not even worth noticing. Didn’t you wonder why you’re always so cold? Why you always feel alone?”

  I looked down at the ground, unwilling to meet her eyes. “I really don’t have a soul?”

  “Not your own. And I don’t know how long you can last unless you start doing what you were made to. But, Evie, listen to me.” She reached out and took my hand in her equally cold one. I looked up at her. Her eyes were shining, bright, intense. “It’s amazing. It really is. That flood, that fire as it rushes in—you’ve never felt anything so wonderful in your whole life. It’s like you’re finally alive, and you’re not alone. You’ve got all those spirits inside you, and you’re not alone! And I keep them.

  I treasure each and every soul I’ve been given. They’re mine, and I love them, and they keep me warm.”

  For the first time I noticed the golden flames behind her. Now I understood what they were. It should have made me sad, but I wanted them more than ever before. I didn’t want to be empty.

  “I’m supposed to kill you.” Her voice was low and serious. “All their stupid prophecies, they want me to get rid of you before you figure out what you can do. And I could. Kill you, I mean. You don’t understand anything. You don’t even know how to take the souls, and I’ve got so much power now.” She looked thoughtful. I wanted to run, but she was so still and had my hand in hers. “But I don’t want to. The stupid fey, they think they know everything, they think they can control me. I’m tired of them and I’m tired of being alone. We’re family. We should be together, you know?”

  I didn’t know what to say. How do you respond when someone tells you how easy it would be to kill you, then says she wants to be best friends, family?

  “I can’t find you.” Her gaze intensified. “Even the faeries that are helping me can’t find you. Tell me where you are.”

  The souls moved closer, dazzling me with their blinding beauty. She could teach me how to get my own. I opened my mouth, and then I heard Lend laugh. Looking over, I watched us. His arms were around me, his mouth close to my ear. “I’m with him,” I whispered, pulling away from Vivian.

  She looked hurt, then her mouth curled into a cruel smile. “Sure. Tell him what you are and let me know if you’re still with him. You’ll see. I’m the only one you have. The only one.”

  She drew the flames into herself again, so bright and terribly beautiful I started crying.

  When I woke up I was still crying. It was just turning light outside, but I’d never get back to sleep. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. She was right. I was empty. I was alone and cold, and I’d always known it. I pulled out the neck of my T-shirt and looked down. My wrist hadn’t changed since Reth burned me, but my heart had definitely gotten a little brighter.

  And then I had a thought. A horrible, horrible thought. What if I had been sucking life and energy from Lend? What if I was killing him? I finally got a boyfriend, I was pretty sure I loved him, and here I was, stealing his soul.

  I had to leave, run away to somewhere where I couldn’t hurt anyone, especially not Lend. But after how he opened up to me, how much he trusted me, I owed him more than that. Trying not to cry, I padded across the hall to the room he was staying in. Lend was asleep, almost invisible, sprawled out and tangled in the blankets. He looked adorable. It broke my heart. Next to him on the bedside table was his open sketchbook.

  Tiptoeing over, I saw in the pale dawn light what he had been working on. It was a portrait of me, probably one he had started in art class. I was in this sassy pose, holding Tasey and giving this awesome I rock! look to all the world. Lend drew me the way he saw me, and I was beautiful.

  I totally started bawling. Lend sat up, startled awake, and color flooded into him. “Evie? What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head; I could barely see him through my tears. “I think I’m killing you.”

  PINK, SHINY LOVE

  L end looked confused. “You think you’re killing me?”

  “I just—Vivian said—And I’m getting brighter, and—”

  “Calm down.” Lend scooted over and patted the bed next to him. Sniffling, I sat down, careful not to touch him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I know who’s doing this. Her name is Vivian and she’s my sister—sort of, I guess? She said we’re not really sisters, but we’re the same thing.”

  “When did you talk to her?” He sounded surprised and nervous.

  “Last night. And a couple of other nights. While I was sleeping, in my dreams.”

  He tried not to smile. “So you’ve been dreaming that this thing is your sister?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I thought they were just dreams, thought I was going crazy because I was worried, but then she told me she’d send me a message and she did, on my communicator. It’s downstairs in the kitchen in a drawer. I found it, I’m sorry.”

  Lend frowned. “Seriously?”

  I nodded, wishing it weren’t true.

  “Wow. So what has she been telling you?”

  “It’s kind of confusing. But she says we’re the same thing, that we weren’t born, we were made.

  That we’re empty, and she said—” I started crying again “—I don’t have a soul. I’m just empty and cold like her, and that’s why she takes the souls. To fill herself up. But she thinks she’s doing a good thing, setting the paranormals free from this world. Her souls are always there, glowing and beautiful, and she said the faeries want her to kill me, but she wants us to be a family.”

  Lend was quiet; so quiet. I waited for him to shout for his dad, to back away in terror.

  “She says that if I don’t start taking these souls, the energy, that I’ll die, since I don’t have a soul of my own. But I don’t want to! And, Lend, I’m so sorry, but I’ve been getting brighter, my heart, and —what if I’m taking your soul? When we touch, kiss?” I could barely talk I was crying so hard now. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry.”

  He sat motionless for a long time. Then, to my shock, he reached out and took my hand. I tried to pull back. “No! I don’t want to hurt you!”

  “Evie,” he said, his voice tender and serious. He held my hand tighter. “Do you really think that’s true? Even if this Vivian is who you think she is, why would she tell you the truth?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. It makes sense. Why else would we look the same? And the glowing? And I’ve always felt cold and empty.”

  He reached out and put his hand on my chin,
forcing me to look at him. “You have a soul. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. No one as bright and happy and caring as you could not have a soul.”

  “But what about the glowing? It’s getting stronger.”

  “Do you feel yourself pulling anything out of me? Does it feel like what Reth did to you?”

  I frowned, thinking about it. Lend made me warm and happy, but it wasn’t the same. Reth’s always felt foreign, like something new was being put in. With Lend, it was like he was warming what was already inside me. I shook my head. “But you don’t feel weaker?”

  He laughed. “Not at all. If anything, I have more energy than ever. And I’m definitely happier than

  I’ve ever been.”

  I couldn’t believe it. Here I’d just told him I was a monster, that I was designed to suck souls out of paranormals, and he was okay with it. “But I know I’m the same thing Vivian is. I talked to your mom. She said it was true.”

  “She talked to you? Wow. She doesn’t show up for anyone except me and my dad. Did she think you were going to do anything bad?”

  “No. She said that I could make my choices, but she didn’t know what would happen.”

  “Well, there you have it. I don’t care if you’re the same thing as this Vivian. She’s a lunatic. You’re not. And, besides, if she’s working with the faeries and they want her to kill you, who’s to say that anything she’s telling you is true? Even if she thinks it is, she could be totally wrong. Or she could be lying, trying to trick you into meeting her so that she can kill you.”

  “Maybe. I think she was raised by faeries. She knows a bunch of their prophecies and stuff, but she doesn’t like them very much.” I frowned. “She seems pretty lonely and sad.” I couldn’t imagine what being raised by faeries would have been like. As weird as my life was, at least I had people who cared about me. I looked at Lend. “You’re really not scared of me now?”

  He shook his head, letting go of my hand and putting his arm around me to pull me in closer. “Not even a little bit. Just because you don’t know what you are doesn’t make you scary. I’m pretty familiar with that.” He smiled. “Besides, how could I ever be afraid of someone who wears so much pink?”