Paranormalcy

by Кирстен Уайт

  “Yeah, stupid. I would have gotten here a lot sooner if you had just told me where you were.” It was so weird talking to her now that I couldn’t see her features. I had to go by the tone of her voice. She seemed happy.

  “Umm, sorry about that. I guess a faerie was blocking you.” I had to get her to leave with me. I didn’t know what Lend would do now, but we couldn’t be in this house much longer. “So, what do you say we go?”

  She laughed. “Why? I’ve always wanted to drain a faerie. Plus, hey, I can show you how!” She knelt down next to Fehl. “I wonder how long she’ll be out. Well, forever now.” She put out a burning hand, placing it on the faerie’s chest. “I always hated her. Her voice was like—I don’t knowlike breaking glass.”

  I shook my head. “We should go. Right now! I mean, other faeries know where we are, right? Let’s leave.”

  “Chill, Evie.” She turned her face up to me and I could barely make out her eyes above the liquid flames. “We don’t need to worry about the faeries anymore, not now that we’re together.” She looked back down at Fehl. “Man, she just keeps going and going. If I had known faeries had this much to offer, wow. It’s—Come on, I want you to feel this with me. You’re going to love it. There’s nothing better, not in this whole sucky world.”

  “Please stop,” I said, half sobbing. I couldn’t help it. As much as I didn’t like Fehl, I couldn’t stand there, watching her soul being sucked away.

  “Why?”

  “Because—you don’t need to!”

  Vivian shook her head, standing up. “You don’t get it.”

  “No, I do! But, look, you said I’m getting brighter, right?”

  She nodded. “Killer dress, by the way.”

  “I haven’t taken any! I don’t even know how. So there’s another way, there’s got to be, right?”

  “No, there isn’t. I already told you. We don’t have our own souls. I’m not going to stop, not now that I found you. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting? Do you? Fifty years, that’s how long.”

  I was shocked. She didn’t look older than twenty. “You’re not—How?”

  “Because of this.” She held out her flaming hands. “How do you think? I would have burned out before I even hit adulthood. So tell me, Evelyn, do you want to die?”

  “No, I don’t, but I don’t want to take other souls just to live!”

  “You don’t have any choice!” Her voice changed, went softer. “What about your boyfriend? The one made of water? You’ve noticed his soul, right? That light he carries around with him? It was bright. Do you know what that means?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want her to talk about Lend, to notice him. He had to stay safe.

  “That means he isn’t going to die. Did you ever think about that? Your little boyfriend will last forever, and you’re going to snuff out like a stubby little candle. So, you still too good for this?”

  Lend was immortal. My heart broke in that moment, remembering the way David looked at Cresseda, that sorrow, that separation. Would that be my role? Left behind? Or would I be dead, like Vivian said?

  “Listen to me. This faerie? Do you know how many people she killed before IPCA started controlling her? Men, women, children. And for no reason. She thinks it’s funny. So you tell me how much she deserves that soul. Tell me why any of these things deserve what they have. And even the ones you think are innocent—why should they be forced to stay here? It’s wrong. I’m saving them, and

  I’m protecting the world from the ones like her.”

  I closed my eyes. I used to think I was protecting the world, too. But it wasn’t that simple. Nothing was. Who were we to decide that anyone or anything didn’t deserve the spark of life they had been given? “That makes us just as bad as the faeries.”

  She slapped me. I stumbled, falling against the counter and putting my hand to my cheek. It burned.

  “I’m nothing like them!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me to where Fehl was lying on the ground, but the faerie was gone. Vivian swore loudly, standing up and looking around. “Look what you did!

  I wasn’t done with her. Now who will I show you on?”

  Just then another door lit up. Reth stormed through, looking like he was ready to bring the house down on all of us.

  Vivian laughed. “Perfect timing.”

  Reth looked at me, giving Vivian time to pick up the skillet. She swung it at the back of his head, knocking him down. He tried to stand but she pushed the skillet flat against his chest.

  “Don’t know why it works, but so glad it does,” she said. “Come on, Evie. You can’t tell me this faerie—after everything he did to you, how he lied and manipulated and used you—you can’t tell me he deserves to live forever. Think of how many more girls he’ll take, how many more he’ll hurt.”

  I shook my head, tears in my eyes. I didn’t know which one of them I was more scared of. Reth’s amber eyes blazed with fury. I was sure that if the iron hadn’t been blocking him, Vivian would be dead. If she could die with the amount of energy she had flowing through her. And then I realizedthere was nothing I could do to stop her. If I fought her, she’d lose her temper and kill me. Everyone

  I cared about would die, too, and we’d all be trapped forever, swirling around in her sad, empty black hole of a body, just like Lish. I couldn’t fight her. Reth was right; I wouldn’t survive.

  Kneeling, I shook my head in defeat. “Show me how.”

  She laughed. “It’s about time!”

  “Do I just touch him?”

  “No, it’s not that simple. Otherwise you’d drain everyone you ever touched. Put your hand thereright over his heart. That’s where the soul is centered. Then you have to want it. You have to know it should be yours and want it and call for it. It’ll hear you, because that’s what we’re made for.

  We’re the Empty Ones, and the souls want to come to us. That’s why we can see everything, why we can see past the glamours. And once you have more, you can see straight through to souls.” She put her free hand on my arm, and I could hear the happiness in her voice. “It’s beautiful, Evie, and they’ll all be ours. Together.”

  Nodding, I put my hand on Reth’s chest. His achingly lovely face had gone calm, and he regarded me with placid eyes.

  “You’ve got to want it,” Vivian said eagerly. “Take it.”

  And then I knew. I knew what I wanted. “Hey, Viv,” I said, trying not to cry as I turned to look at her. I could feel her joy at finally connecting with someone. “I’m sorry you were alone for so long.

  And I’m sorry. So sorry.”

  I shoved my palm against her chest. She was so hot it burned. I could feel her searing my flesh, but

  I didn’t move, closing my eyes and, for the first time, opening myself up, inviting the souls in.

  Nothing happened.

  Vivian ripped my hand away from her chest and threw me across the room. I slammed into the wall, pain blossoming through my whole body. “Why’d you do that? Do you want me to kill you? Because I will! I don’t need your pity, you pathetic little thing. Do you know what I am? I’m a god, Evie. I am death, and I am life, and I can’t believe I wanted to share this with you. The faeries were right.” She shook her head as she crossed the room and stood over me, bright and terrible. “There’s no point in keeping you around.” She pulled me up by my hair, forcing my face right next to hers. I could feel my skin turning red from the heat, the stench of burning hair stinging my nose. Her voice lowered, softened. “I should have known you wouldn’t understand, you wouldn’t really want it. But don’t worry. I’ll add what little soul you’ve managed to scrape together to my collection. That way we really can be together forever.”

  She put her hand over my heart.

  I held my breath, clutching at the last precious seconds of my life. How would death feel? Her hand was hot, burning. But that was it—my life didn’t rush out of me.

  Her shoulders started shaking and I realized why it wasn’t working. “You have to
want it,” I whispered. Vivian didn’t want to kill me. Lifting my own hand, I put it gently over her heart. I understood now—I wanted it. I wanted those souls, wanted to free them from her. “Let go, Viv.”

  I gasped, stiffening as the heat burst through her skin, racing like an electric current through my entire body. I was flooded with it, overwhelmed. Nothing existed but me and the fire spreading to every cell.

  Vivian dimmed, all her fire draining. Her features became clearer, the flames dwindling until they were only in her heart and behind her eyes. Just a little more, I knew, just a little more and she’d be gone. And then I felt her. Felt Vivian, her own soul. It was such a tiny, broken thing, and I longed to take it, give it haven in myself. I nearly did, until I saw her eyes. They had gone cold—so cold, and blank.

  I ripped my hand away and Vivian fell to the ground. I thought I could still see a spark, the very faintest hint of a soul.

  And then I didn’t care.

  With the fire coursing through me everything was removed, like I was seeing the world as it truly was—nothing but a passing dream, dark and cold and dead. I was eternal and nothing in this existence, nothing in this normal life I had craved so much, mattered at all.

  “It’s about time,” Reth said, leaning casually against the counter.

  PATHS AND POSSIBILITIES

  I looked at Reth. Filled as I was, I could see better than ever through his natural form and straight to his soul. It was beautiful. Unlike the liquid flames he’d given me, his soul was stationary, crystallized. It was the same bright gold of all the other souls but utterly unchanging.

  “I was going to be cross with you, calling an Unseelie faerie right to you. If you had died, I would have been very disappointed. But this worked out nicely. Now we don’t have to waste time filling you.” He stood up straight, smiling. “We can get right to the fun part.”

  “The fun part?” Even my voice sounded different; it was richer, layered, like multiple versions of myself were speaking at the same time. An immortal voice.

  “Oh, yes.” He clapped his hands. “We can dance all night, every night, and you’ll last forever now.

  Of course, there’s work to do as well. But that can wait until after I’ve taken you around the court.

  They’ll all be thrilled to meet you. And now that you’ll be joining us, I can explain everything to you. Listen to me, prattling on. I’m so pleased we won, that you can come home with me where you belong.”

  “Why?”

  He looked puzzled. “Why what?”

  “Why would I come with you?”

  “Well, you certainly don’t belong here anymore! You can feel it, can’t you? The transience, the flimsiness of this world? Besides, it’s impossible to keep anything clean.” He frowned down at his waistcoat and brushed at it. “And then there’s the work to be done, gates to be opened, homes to find. I’m glad it’s going to be your poem. Far more cheerful.”

  “My poem.” I would have been eager to know before, desperate almost, but it was difficult to care, burning with life, so much life.

  “Let’s see, how did that one go…‘Eyes like streams of melting snow,’ and so striking, by the way.

  ‘Cold with the things she does not know. Heaven above and Hell beneath, liquid flames will end her grief. With her fire, at last release. With her fire, at last release.’”

  The house felt close—too confining, too temporary. The decay weighed me down. I walked to the front door, barely noticing when the doorknob melted in my hand. Stepping off the porch, I breathed in deeply and looked up at the sky. The stars, cold and bright, felt like good company. Odd shadows and hints of light surrounded me. I saw everything. Not only was every leaf, every blade of grass perfectly defined, there was more—just beyond what I was seeing.

  “Evelyn, love, where are you going?” Reth caught up, standing next to me.

  “The light and shadows. Where are they coming from?”

  “Paths and possibilities. I can teach you how to manipulate them, if you’d like.”

  I stared up at the stars. Lifting my burning hand, I held it flat against the air. “There’s something here,” I said softly, my voice foreign and strange in my ears. There was so much more to this world, more than I had ever felt. “A door.”

  Reth put his hand on my arm. “Oh, you don’t need to bother with that. That’s nothing. I’ll make the door. You belong with me, by my side for eternity.”

  I turned back to the sky. If I aligned those stars just right in my vision, it looked like a gate. Odd I’d never noticed.

  “Evelyn, stop,” Reth said, an edge of panic in his voice now.

  “Stop what?”

  “You don’t want to let them go. Not like this.”

  I turned to him, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

  “The souls. You need them. That is not the gate you’re supposed to open.”

  “My souls.” I sighed. I loved them. Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, tracing the energy, my energy, my souls. I was filled. But underneath, vague and gnawing, I felt off. It was too much, and not enough, all at the same time. The flames were stretching me, changing me. And while I was already full to bursting, I could feel the craving, the desire seeping in. “I want more,” I whispered.

  “Well, that can be arranged. Come on.” Reth pulled gently on my arm. Why didn’t I burn him?

  Then I noticed lights. It took me several seconds to realize it was a car. It screeched to a stop in front of us and a man jumped out of the driver’s side. His soul was a pale, quavering thing, already on the decline. It made me feel peaceful in a way I couldn’t explain, tender toward its fragile beauty.

  Then the other door opened. I went rigid. If I had thought Reth’s was beautiful, it was nothing to this soul. It filled the night with light, dancing and rippling like the reflection on a pond. I hadn’t seen many souls, but I knew that this one was special. I wanted it. I needed it.

  “Evie!”

  I blinked, trying to filter through my disconnect and place the voice.

  “Evie, are you okay?”

  “Lend.” My Lend. It clicked into place. That soul was my Lend. I clenched my hands into fists at my side. I shouldn’t take that one.

  “What’s—Your voice, it’s different. What did he do to you?”

  I squinted, trying to see Lend’s face over his soul. Maybe if I could see his face I wouldn’t want him so badly, maybe I’d be able to stop. I lifted one hand toward him.

  “Oh, go ahead,” Reth said. “He doesn’t matter. But do hurry, we should be getting along.”

  “What happened?” Lend ran up to me, within reach. I wanted to cry as I put my hand on his chest, but I couldn’t. It had to be mine. I opened up the channelAnd gasped. In that moment, touching Lend’s soul, I finally connected with my own. It had been lost in the swirl of new souls, overwhelmed. But my soul knew Lend’s, loved it, and it was enough.

  I pulled my hand back before Lend lost anything. Closing my eyes, I held onto that recognition, focused on my own soul in the flames. And then I noticed the individuals. Hundreds of them, freed from Vivian only to be trapped again. My breath caught—I felt Lish’s. I knew it was hers. Gentle and intelligent, swirling nearest to my heart. I wanted to keep her with me forever.

  The guilt came then and I tried to push it down. If I let them go, I didn’t belong with Lend. Not with the soul I’d seen. I’d burn out and he’d continue, eternal and breathtaking. Just like Vivian had said.

  “If I keep them, I could stay with you.” Tears streamed down my face.

  “Keep what?”

  “The souls.”

  “The—what?”

  “I took them, from Vivian.”

  “Vivian’s here?” He looked around, panicked.

  “Not anymore.” I shook my head sadly. “But, Lend, I’ve got them—they’re inside me.”

  “What do you mean? You took the souls?” His voice was concerned and scared.

  I was ready to argue, expl
ain why I had to keep them. But watching his soul dancing in front of me, I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t be with him, not like this. I wouldn’t deserve to. This immortality, this life exploding within me—it wasn’t mine. I couldn’t ask Lend to love me like this. My own soul was the only one I could offer. Now that I knew I had one, it was enough. I had never been empty.

  “I have to let them go,” I whispered.

  “Let the souls go?”

  “They need to be released.”

  “Not yet!” Reth said, anger twisting his smooth, golden voice.

  I looked back at the stars. The souls nudged me forward, guiding my hand up.

  “Evie!” Lend said, panicked.

  I looked down at him. I was rising into the air; I couldn’t stop. If I didn’t release them now, I didn’t think I’d be able to. Finding the outline of the stars, I pushed my hand forward—and met resistance.

  This was it.

  “Stop.” Reth’s voice was hard, commanding. My arms wouldn’t move. “That is not the gate you need to open. If you let them go now, all this will be wasted. We need those souls! This is not the right gate.”

  I focused, willing the fire to concentrate in my arm. It grew even brighter, turning from gold to pure white, blinding in its intensity. And then, still pulling against the power of Reth’s voice, I lifted a single finger and traced the stars, the light leaving a trail of white between each point until the entire gate was outlined.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Go,” I whispered. For the briefest moment I felt peace, gratitude; then excruciating pain as the fire ripped straight out of my body and shot through the gate of stars. Just when I thought I could stand the pain no longer, it was over. Almost. A single lingering soul—Lish, my Lish—paused, passing through my heart in what I knew was her last good-bye.

  As my body went cold and dark I fell toward the earth, wondering again what death would feel like.

  I smiled, grateful I had at least known my own soul if only for a moment, and then everything went black.