Love & Lies

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Word,” either Nate or Chad said, because I couldn’t tell which one of them had spoken. “As long as we don’t have any traffic in and out of here, we’ll be straight. Because that’s how J-Dog and his crew got busted. I mean, that was just plain stupid to have all those addicts hanging around all times of the night.”

  “I’m tellin’ you,” Killer said, “some of these fools just don’t know how to operate a successful business, but what we got here is legit. We’ll be rolling for a long time and it won’t be long before we’ll be able to branch out over in Chicago.”

  “Shoot,” Chiquita joined in. “Before long, we’ll be making millions.”

  “And rolling like Nino Brown on New Jack City,” Killer added.

  I shook my head at how excited they were to be selling drugs, and how they really believed they were going to get rich from doing it. They really believed the sky was the limit and that they were living the American dream.

  When I put away the last of the groceries, Killer came into the kitchen.

  “Thanks for picking up these Oreos for me,” he said, grabbing the bag of cookies from the counter.

  “No problem.”

  “You know, for whatever it’s worth, Antonio is a fool for messin’ things up with you. And I’m not talkin’ behind his back, either, because I already told him to his face how I feel about the whole thang.”

  “I appreciate that,” I said, feeling awkward and not knowing fully what to say.

  Then he looked me up and down from head to toe. “Umph, umph, umph. Beautiful and smart. Antonio, man, you must be sick givin’ up a woman like this,” he yelled into the other room.

  “Negro, shut up,” Antonio responded. “And bring your behind back in here so you can get to work.”

  “For your information, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with Antonio,” Chiquita announced proudly. “My baby just realized he didn’t want that ho no more because he’s in love with me. Ain’t that right, Tonio?”

  “That’s cold, Chiquita,” either Nate or Chad said. “Callin’ Antonio’s girl a ho in her own house. You know you wrong for that.”

  “Well, she is a ho,” Chiquita reiterated. “And she bet not say nothin’ to me unless she want a beat-down. Ain’t that right, baby?” she asked Antonio, but he still wouldn’t comment.

  “Just shut up, Chiquita,” Killer demanded.

  “You shut up!” she spat back. “Because I’ll say whatever I damn well please.”

  “Why don’t all of y’all shut up,” Antonio finally said, and looked at me when I walked out of the kitchen. He actually seemed embarrassed and almost sorry for Chiquita’s antics.

  But I ignored him, her, and the rest of them and went into my bedroom. Once there, I looked at the clock, saw that it was ten minutes till six, and quickly changed out of my suit and heels and into a jogging suit, socks, and gym shoes. Then I walked back out into the living room and over to the front door.

  “Where are you off to?” Antonio asked.

  “Nowhere. I left my briefcase in the car.”

  “Well, before you head outside, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “About what?” I asked.

  “Yeah, about what?” Chiquita said in an angry tone.

  “Just come here,” he said to me, ignoring Ms. Thing and already walking toward the hallway.

  “What?” I said, entering the bedroom.

  “Hey, I’m sorry for the way Chiquita disrespected you.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Are you sure? Because her whole attitude was uncalled for.”

  “No, really. I’m fine.”

  “The only reason she’s here is because her uncle is one of our main suppliers, and as long as he sees Chiquita happy with me, he’ll keep givin’ us a break on the price.”

  “I told you, I’m fine.”

  “But regardless, I wanted you to know I don’t approve of the way she acted.”

  “I really need to get outside to get my briefcase.”

  “Okay, but just let me ask you one more thing. Why couldn’t you just accept me for the man I was?”

  “Because you’re no good, Antonio. Because you’re a bum who wouldn’t get a real job, and because you’ll never amount to anything decent for as long as you live.”

  “You know what, forget my apology. You’re every bit the ho Chiquita said you were, and then some.”

  I left the room and Antonio followed behind, calling me every kind of bitch he could think of. But I ignored him and continued on outside. I could still hear him ranting and raving, but his ranting and raving stopped as soon as an army of narcotics officers rushed inside, yelling, “Police, raise your hands, stand up, and turn around slowly.”

  I stood outside, looking in, and then heard multiple Miranda warnings being recited to all five criminals. Antonio, Killer, Nate, Chad, and Chiquita. Interestingly enough, they all remained silent, and soon after, the officers escorted each of them out, handcuffed, one by one. They all stared at me irately, but I guess Antonio was the angriest of all because he tried to break away and charge toward me. Thankfully, two of the officers forced him facedown on the grass, but when he got up he glared at me and said, “Remember what I told you.”

  Then he smiled at me and I knew exactly what he was referring to. He was referring to the statement he’d made about how his boys could do anything to anyone at anytime, and how calling the police would never stop him from harming me.

  And I had to admit that his words terrified me. I was trying to be as brave as possible, but I knew Antonio wasn’t going to take being arrested lightly. I knew because the last thing he’d said before being forced into the squad car was, “See you real, real soon.”

  And the thing was, I believed him.

  Chapter 15

  JANINE

  Three hours later, the remaining officers had finished searching my home and collected bags and bags of evidence. Now I was on the phone with Charlotte, telling her everything.

  “J, I am so glad that this is finally over and that Antonio is out of your life forever.”

  “Hopefully, because he was still threatening me even in front of the police. And the fact that they found more drugs and paraphernalia than I even knew about, Antonio and his friends are definitely looking at prison time.”

  “As they should be. And if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about it because what can he do to you behind bars?”

  “A lot. Because I’m sure Killer, Nate, and Chad are not the only thug acquaintances he has. Plus that Chiquita chick is the niece of the guy who was supplying them, and of course this guy won’t be happy either once he finds out all his drugs were confiscated.”

  “Well, we’ll just deal with all of that if the time comes, but for now you should just feel relieved to have your house back.”

  “I do. I’m still afraid, but it’s good to know that I don’t have to walk around here worried about what Antonio is going to say or do next.”

  “I still can’t believe you planned to have your house raided all along and didn’t tell me.”

  “But that’s just it. My original plan was that I would call the police to come have Antonio pack his things and leave. But then he started smoking marijuana. Then he started dealing drugs. And once I saw the program last night on television I was telling you about, my mind was made up and I called the narcotics division first thing this morning when I got to work.”

  “Good for you.”

  “It usually takes a while for a drug bust, but when I explained my situation and that I could almost guarantee they’d all be sitting around this evening with everything out in the open, they told me to come home and do everything I normally do, but then at six o’clock, if Antonio and his friends were in the midst of dealing drugs, I should pretend that I’d left something in my car and come outside. That way they would know that the bust was a go, and that’s exactly what I did.”

  “Can you believe drugs were actually all over your house?”

 
“No, but they were, and I feel so stupid. I know Antonio didn’t work and that he’s used me all this time, but I never in my wildest imagination expected him to turn out like this. I’d never known him to get involved with anything illegal and he was usually home every day when I got off work, but now I’m betting he was doing this all the time during the day. The only thing is that he was doing it somewhere else.”

  “Well, if he was, you’d think he would have had a lot more money than he did.”

  “Yeah, you would. But maybe he wasn’t as deeply involved in it until he decided to start his little operation over here.”

  “That’s probably it. Because once you told him you wanted him to leave, I’ll bet that’s when he decided to go full force ahead.”

  “I’m just glad he was bold enough to handle the drugs in front of me, because if he’d had all of that crap in my house without me knowing it and then somehow still got busted, I would be in jail myself. I mean, the thought of that makes me crazy.”

  “I know it’s not funny, but I could see the headline now,” Charlotte said, slightly laughing. “‘College Professor Arrested for Crack Cocaine Possession with Intent to Deliver.’”

  “Girl, can you imagine? Me being arrested, convicted, and incarcerated for months and possibly years? So that’s why I did what I had to do.”

  “I know you’re worried about how he might retaliate, but this was your only choice.”

  “I’m still trying to figure out what I ever saw in him and why I couldn’t see the street part of him that really came out over this last couple of weeks.”

  “He was good,” Charlotte said. “I’ll give him that, because even though he wasn’t the most cultured man I’ve ever met, I would never have suspected he was some petty gangster. Not with him having that associate degree he always bragged about. And to be honest, he spoke pretty intelligently, too.”

  “But now that I think back on it, there had to be little signs. There had to be because people don’t change this drastically so quickly. And I guess I was so caught up that I saw what I wanted to see. I’ve done it before and this is no different.”

  “Well, the bottom line is that Antonio is a part of the past and now it’s time for you to move on to bigger and better things. It’s time for you to start dating the kind of men who have something to bring to the table and who have a reputable background.”

  “Maybe. But right now I don’t want to think about dating any man, period. Not even if he has millions of dollars, comes from the best of homes, and will love me unconditionally. Because, to be honest, I still wouldn’t trust him.”

  “That’s understandable, but once a few weeks or months pass by, you’ll be fine and ready to give someone else a try.”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Of course you will, J. You’ll see. Actually, I’m wishing Larry was a better catch than he is.”

  “Who’s Larry?”

  “Girl, I’ve been meaning to tell you about Curtis’s brother for the past few days but we really haven’t had a chance to talk. Anyway, he’s in town, and while he’s not Curtis’s biological brother, they were very close when they were in college and even after they graduated.”

  “Really? And he’s staying with you?”

  “No. He says he’s staying at a boardinghouse, but I’m not sure where because Curtis has pretty much told him to stay away from us.”

  “Why?”

  “He used to be strung out on drugs, and according to Curtis, he’s only out for what he can get from us and can’t be trusted.”

  “That’s too bad, but after what I just went through with Antonio, I think we both know that Curtis is probably right.”

  “I don’t know. Normally I would be skeptical, but I really like Larry. And the kids like him, too.”

  “When did you see him?”

  “He came over here on Friday night and then he showed up on Sunday morning and joined the church. He swears he’s changed and wants to get to know God, and I really want to believe him.”

  “But Curtis still doesn’t? Not even after his testimony?”

  “No.”

  “Then if I were you, I wouldn’t go against what Curtis wants. I mean, I know I’m the last person anyone should be taking advice from, but if Larry just showed up out of nowhere, you really need to be careful. Especially since you guys have money.”

  “Maybe. But I guess I don’t like the idea of turning someone away when they need help. Not when the person is like family to Curtis.”

  “Has he asked you or Curtis for anything?”

  “No…well, not exactly.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Okay, he didn’t ask Curtis for anything, but he sort of called yesterday while Curtis was in the shower, wanting to know if he could borrow money for rent.”

  “And you didn’t tell Curtis?”

  “No, because things are going really well with us and he would have gone completely ballistic.”

  “You’re playing with fire.”

  “Well, it’s not like I’ve spoken to him again.”

  “And I hope you don’t.”

  “I guess I just feel so sorry for him.”

  “Still.”

  “If you ever get to meet him, you’ll see what I mean. He’s such a likable person.”

  “You crack me up,” I said, and then heard my phone ringing. “Hey, hold on a minute. Let me see who’s calling.”

  My heart fluttered nervously when I saw Rachel County Jail on my ID screen, but I still decided to answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “This call is being made from Antonio, an inmate at Rachel County Jail,” the recording announced. “To accept, press one. To decline, press two. To block all future calls from inmates at Rachel County Jail, please press three.”

  I paused for a minute, I wasn’t sure why, but then I declined Antonio’s call. After doing so, I returned to Charlotte.

  “Antonio has the nerve to be calling me already.”

  “Girl, I’m not surprised, because I’ll bet every dime I have that he wants you to come bail him out.”

  “Well, if he does, then he’s crazier than I thought.”

  “Why else would he be calling? Because it’s not like you have anything else to talk about.”

  “I just wish he’d leave me alone. That’s all I want him to do.”

  “If he calls again, I would just ignore him, and if he continues, I would report it to the police department and the prosecutor.”

  “This is never going to be over with,” I said, terribly frustrated.

  “Yes it will be. It might take time, but eventually this will come to an end.”

  I sighed but didn’t speak.

  “Hey, this is Curtis calling on the other line. He had to leave this afternoon so he could do a couple of media interviews in New York, but I’ll call you back in about an hour.”

  “If not, then I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

  “No, I’ll call you back when I finish.”

  “Talk to you then,” I said, and hung up.

  Then I rested my body against three pillows and tried to ease my nerves. What a day this had turned out to be. I’d known it wasn’t going to be an easy process, but now I wondered how long I’d have to live in fear. The narcotics detective that I’d spoken to this morning had assured me that Antonio and his friends would definitely go down, but the specific sentence would depend on the amount of cocaine, what other drugs the police were able to find, and a host of other factors. I, of course, was hoping that Antonio would be put away forever, but I knew this wasn’t logical.

  I kept my eyes closed but my mind wandered from one thing to another. I thought about my father and how he wasn’t in good health. I thought about my sister and how she’d died a tragic death, but when I thought about my mom, I cried uncontrollably. I missed her so much and it was at times like these that I needed her the most. I needed her to hold me the way she had when I was a child and to tell me that everything actually was going to
be all right. Because at this very moment, that’s what I wanted and needed to hear. I needed to know that one day I would be able to look back on all that had happened and it wouldn’t affect me the way it was affecting me now.

  I wallowed in my misery for at least another half hour and then the phone rang again. I had a feeling it was Antonio and it was. I didn’t want to speak to him, but at the same time I knew he would never stop calling and that it was probably best if I simply went ahead and spoke to him.

  So I picked up the phone and pressed the number one the way the recording instructed me to do.

  “Hello?” I said, sniffling.

  “Janine, baby, why did you do this?”

  “Because I didn’t want to go to jail for something I didn’t do.”

  “But that never would have happened because no one would have ever found out anything.”

  “But you were dealing drugs in my house, Antonio, and I couldn’t take that chance. Not to mention I asked you to move out and you wouldn’t.”

  “Well, baby, right now none of that even matters, and I forgive you for what you did.”

  Was he kidding? He was actually forgiving me? For what?

  “You hear me, Janine? Baby, I forgive you, and all you need to do is bring five thousand dollars down here to bail me out and you and I will be fine. Because I’m through messin’ with drugs for good. I mean it, baby, and I’m sorry I treated you the way I did.”

  “I don’t have it,” was all I said.

  “Baby, why are you lying? Why are you doing this to me after all we’ve been through together?”

  “Antonio, I’m begging you. Please leave me alone and stop calling here. Tomorrow I’m going to pack your things and take them over to your parents’, but that’s where my responsibility to you ends. It’s over, Antonio, and I’m pleading with you to accept that.”

  “I’m not accepting shit,” he yelled. “You hear me? And just for the record, you were never the only woman in my life. I always had somebody else from the moment I met you.”