Don't Break My Heart (Return to Redemption, Book 6)

by Laurie Kellogg

  Haley laughed. “Every successful man has a smart woman behind him, pushing him ahead.”

  “That’s exactly what your mom pointed out.”

  “I know.” Haley stepped on his foot for the second time.

  He winced, making a mental note to send her for ballroom dancing lessons.

  “She used to say that to my dad whenever he bragged about how well your business was doing.”

  “Anyway, your dad and I started calling you The Brain, and your mom and Trisha called you Pinky. Then when you were born, you looked like a little pink lizard.”

  “I did not!” She stepped away from him.

  “No, you didn’t.” He pulled her back into his arms. “You were beautiful—and very pink. The first time I held you and you squeezed my finger, I knew your mother and Trisha were right about you being very smart.”

  She rested her head on his chest and sighed. “I like that story.”

  He squeezed her tight. “I do, too, Pinky.”

  ~*~

  After stuffing herself on chocolate cake with whipped cream icing and a piece of cheesecake from the dessert buffet, Trisha accompanied Justin as he walked Haley to her room.

  “Did you have a good time dancing with Jamal?” Trisha put her arm around Haley’s shoulder. “He pulled off some pretty fancy moves out there.”

  “Totally. He promised to teach me the next time I see him.”

  “When is that?” Justin asked in a concerned tone.

  Haley shrugged. “I dunno. He said he’s buyin’ his uncle’s car. He suggested maybe he could take me to the movies next week. Can I go?”

  Trisha squashed the urge to point out the question should’ve been phrased as May I go. Lindsey had been an English Lit major. Clearly, Haley had been without her mother to correct her grammar for too long.

  Justin shook his head. “I don’t know how eager I am for you to ride with such an inexperienced driver.”

  Trisha suspected he worried even more about her being alone in a car with the boy.

  “If Jamal drives up to Redemption, I’ll take the two of you and pick you up.”

  “Oh, come on!” She stamped her foot.

  “I’m sorry you don’t like it, but I worry about you. That’s my deal. Take it or leave it.”

  “Fine.”

  He unlocked her door, handed her the keycard, and hugged her. Haley then flung her arms around Trisha. “Thank you so much for my new dress. I love it. I had such a great time today. It felt almost like I was with my mom.”

  A lump swelled in Trisha’s throat, making it difficult to talk. “You’re welcome, sweetie. I had a good time, too.”

  “Maybe we can do it again back in Redemption.”

  She swallowed hard and gave a noncommittal, “Maybe.” She didn’t want to lie to the child, but she had every intention of keeping Haley at an arm’s length. If she had any hope of avoiding Justin, she couldn’t let the kid get too attached to her. “Sweet dreams.”

  “Can I ride back in the car with you and Uncle Justin tomorrow?”

  “No,” he answered, sparing her from turning Haley down. “You’ll have a lot more fun on the bus with your friends. You had Trisha to yourself the whole last half of today. Tomorrow is my turn.”

  “Okay,” Haley agreed, her lip sticking out. “G’night.”

  As she closed the door, Trisha walked ahead and pressed the down button.

  The elevator’s bell dinged, announcing its arrival. He stepped in behind her. “Are we going to your room tonight?”

  “Justin, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to sleep together again.”

  “You’re right.” He chuckled. “It’s a fantastic idea.”

  “I’m being serious.”

  “I thought you were being Trisha.”

  “Stop it! I’m trying to tell you it’s probably best if we say good-bye now. You don’t need to ride with me tomorrow.”

  “I know I don’t need to. You’re a very capable woman with a GPS. I want to spend the day with you tomorrow. And tonight.”

  “What if I don’t want to be with you?”

  “If you claim that, you’ll be lying through your teeth.” He followed her off the elevator to her room. “What’s going on here? You had your fun last night, and now you’re running away again?”

  Pretty much. “Last night and this morning weren’t just fun. They were unbelievable. But that’s all I can handle in my life right now.”

  “I thought we were gonna enjoy our time together until we head home.”

  “That was the original plan, but you’ve been pushing for more.” Unfortunately, he hadn’t pushed for quite enough. If he wanted to marry her, she might feel differently.

  “I’ll stop pushing. Just spend tonight and tomorrow with me, and you won’t hear from me again until you decide you want to call me.”

  She would cherish one more night with him. But every time he kissed her, she fell more and more deeply in love with him. Again. And whenever he smiled at her, she completely lost the ability to think straight.

  She’d stupidly thought she might have finally gotten over him, yet here he was again, worming his way back into her heart. It should’ve been evident she’d deluded herself when she deliberately chose a sperm donor with a profile that could’ve been his.

  “Please, Trisha.” He flashed his perfect white teeth at her. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

  There was that damn smile again.

  She had no doubt Justin would put her needs first. He always had. She closed her eyes, blocking out his too-handsome face. “Okay. But I’m holding you to your promise. When we get back to Redemption tomorrow—”

  “I swear. I don’t even have your number, so I can’t call you even if I want to.” He took her key card and opened the door.

  She’d never had a need for an unlisted number, so it would be easy enough for him to look it up on the Internet.

  He laid the card on the dresser and sat on the bed. “Thank you for what you did for Haley today.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. I didn’t do it for you.”

  “I know. I didn’t realize you bought her dress. I thought she’d used her gift card to buy it. I’d like to reimburse you, if you’ll let me. I could tell it cost quite a bit.”

  “That’s not necessary. I consider it a belated Christmas present.” She sank onto the mattress next to him. “I’ve missed fifteen years of giving her gifts. She reminds me so much of Lindsey at her age. Smart-mouthed and sassy. It was like having a piece of my friend back again.”

  “You don’t have to tell me about the child’s smart mouth. I’m usually on the receiving end. She had her mother for over thirteen years. She couldn’t help but pick up some of Lindsey’s mannerisms.”

  “It’s not just the way Haley acts or her attitude. She’s the spitting image of her mother. Her voice and laugh even sound the same.”

  He sat staring at the carpet for several moments until the silence became downright awkward.

  “Do you want to watch a little TV or maybe rent a movie before we go to sleep?”

  He shook his head. “I just want to be with you and hear more about what you’ve been doing all these years. And what your plans for the future are.”

  Her plans? She could tell him about the baby, but that disclosure would generate a lot of questions she didn’t feel like answering. It was easier to avoid the subject.

  “As I told you, I’m fixing up the house I bought. It’s not very big, so in a year or two, I’d like to add a family room and another bath.”

  As the baby got older, she would need more space for him to play. She had no idea why, but she always thought about her child as a boy. Possibly because she hoped he would look like her donor’s childhood photo.

  “I could draw up the plans,” he suggested. “No charge. I’ll even provide a construction crew at cost.”

  “Thanks. Maybe when I’m ready, I’ll take you up on your offer.” She stretched her arms over her head
. “It’s late, and I’m pretty tired. I’m gonna wash up and get ready for bed.”

  “Do you want company?” he asked, reminding her of their erotic shower that morning.

  “Truthfully? No. I’d like a chance to unwind alone.”

  “Okay.” He stood and picked up her key card from the dresser. “I’ll take a quick shower in my room, pack my bag, and be back lickety-split.”

  Lickety-split turned out to be a little longer than Justin had suggested, so she finished before he returned. She climbed into bed and flipped on the television. The next thing she knew, she woke up cuddled against him at dawn.

  Great. She’d fallen asleep again. What did she expect, staying up until all hours at three months pregnant?

  He held her tighter and dotted her face and neck with feather-light kisses. He stroked her hair and rolled over her, gazing down at her. He smiled, and her heart melted as he reverently kissed her everywhere but on the mouth—her face, her neck, her ears, her breasts, gently caressing each spot when he moved to the next. The way he worshipped her body left a lump in her throat and stripped her emotions bare.

  She needed him to take her hard and fast so she could keep it purely physical. She spread her legs, urging him to enter her, but he held back and continued loving her. “I knew I missed you all these years, but I never realized how much,” he whispered in her ear. “Thank you for giving me the chance to say good-bye.”

  He sounded as if their lovemaking would give him closure. Unfortunately, his gentle caresses had the opposite effect on her and left her grieving over the prospect of returning home to her empty bed.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “You’ve made these last few days wonderful for me.”

  He didn’t say another word. Instead he rolled on a condom and pressed himself into her, gently rocking his hips at a leisurely pace, as if he hoped to extend their lovemaking as long as possible.

  She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him good-bye, silently telling him how much she loved him and always had.

  CHAPTER 8

  While Trisha checked out after breakfast, Justin carried Haley’s suitcase to the chartered bus bound for Redemption and hugged her good-bye. After she climbed aboard, he slapped his brother lightly on the back. “Hey, thanks for looking after her today.”

  “No problem. If your truck’s still in the library’s parking lot when we get back,” Nick told him, “I’ll take her home with me.”

  “Thanks. I’m hoping to be late.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “That’ll mean I talked Trisha into letting me buy her lunch before dropping me off.”

  Jamal walked past and waved to him, “Bye, Mr. Riverá.”

  Justin nodded to the boy as he leapt onto the bus. “Where’s he going? He didn’t ride up here with us.”

  “He talked his chaperone, Cal, into letting him take your seat. Cal’s gonna pick him up at the library on the way back to Trenton.”

  “Great.” He released a sarcastic snort.

  “You don’t like him? He’s seems like a good kid.”

  “I do. I guess I’m just freaked out by the idea of Haley dating anyone.”

  Nick chuckled. “Join the club, Dad.”

  Justin glanced around to make sure none of the bus’s windows were open or any passengers were still arriving. Despite being alone with his brother, he lowered his voice. “I think I’m also worried about her fitting in with Jamal’s family and friends.”

  “You mean the black side of his family and their friends.”

  “Yeah.”

  “He fits in all right with Haley’s friends and family,” Nick pointed out. “Dani and Ryan both really like him, and Sammy and I think he seems responsible.”

  “Our family is a little more open-minded than a lot of people. I know what it’s like to be rejected by bigots.”

  “What do you mean you were rejected by bigots? I have the same ethnic roots, mi hermano. Granted, I’ve run across a few less enlightened people in my life, but I’ve never felt persecuted for my heritage.”

  “That’s because girls’ parents hated you simply because you had a bad rep.”

  “You never dated anyone in high school besides Sammy, so whose parents.... ” Nick did a double take. “You don’t mean Trisha’s family?”

  “Her father didn’t want his little girl mixed up with a Chicano. It’s why she bailed on our relationship. She was pregnant, and Daddy wanted her to have an abortion.”

  He would’ve married her back then if she’d told him about their baby. He would never know if she would’ve stayed had her father been amenable to her keeping their child.

  Nick’s eyebrows shot up. “Your baby, I assume.”

  Justin swallowed hard. “Yeah. She lost it a few weeks after she left college.”

  “I’m sorry.” His brother squeezed his shoulder. “Really.”

  “I never knew about it until two days ago.”

  Nick jabbed his thumb into his chest. “Hey, I know what it’s like to lose a baby. Whether you were aware of it before or not, it can’t help but hurt a little now that you do know.”

  “It does. It also made me regret a decision I made when Marc got sick.”

  “What decision?”

  Justin stalled, rubbing the back of his neck. Hell, who else could he confide in, if not his brother? “Uhhh, I realized that caring for Haley would probably keep me from getting seriously involved with a woman for a while. By the time she goes to college and I meet and fall for someone, I may be close to forty. I’m not sure I want to be just starting a family at that age.”

  “I hear you. I’m older than you, and Sammy’s talking about wanting another baby in a few years. After that, I’m done. I know a lot of people over forty have babies, but they didn’t start their families at only twenty.” Nick narrowed his gaze at him. “Don’t tell me you got snipped.”

  “No. Of course not, you idiot.” He smacked his brother’s arm. “I might still decide I want to have kids someday. I simply donated to a sperm bank for a couple of months last summer—just in case. I figured, if I might not have children, at least I can leave something of myself in this world and help some infertile couple while I’m at it.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I know. Really stupid. I wasn’t thinking straight at that point. Marc’s death got me dwelling on my own mortality and shit.”

  “I don’t think it was stupid. I’m just surprised, although, I can understand how you feel. It’s nice to know some of me will live on in Dani and Christopher.” Nick looked at him askance. “So why does learning you once lost a baby make you regret becoming a donor?”

  “After Trisha told me, I started thinking about the child I never knew about or got to hold. Now, it’s bothering me that there might be kids of mine out there that I’ll never meet. My head was totally messed up after losing Marc.”

  “If you’re having second thoughts, you could always buy back your semen.”

  He hadn’t thought of doing that. “You know, that’s not a terrible idea.”

  The driver started the bus’s engine as Jake jogged past them to join his wife who’d boarded earlier. “If you’re comin’, let’s go, guys!”

  Nick waved as he stepped onto bus. “We’ll talk more later.”

  As Justin turned back toward the hotel, Trisha pulled up in Frankie’s silver Corolla. He climbed into the passenger’s seat. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner to pack the car. I got stuck in a conversation with my brother.”

  “That’s okay,” she assured him. “Jake insisted on putting the bags in the trunk. I don’t know why men think women are helpless.”

  “We don’t. Jake’s a gentleman. To be honest, I think a lot of women are more capable.”

  She smiled sideways at him. “You do, do you?”

  “Maybe they’re not physically stronger, but they sure as hell multitask better than men. I could never do the laundry, make phone calls, pay the bills, and take care of a screaming baby, all at the same time. Look,”—he
pointed at the GPS—“You even have this thing programmed already.”

  “Our brains are just wired differently.” She pulled out of the parking lot. “So what were you and Nick talking about?”

  Oh, crap. She would have to ask.

  He glanced over at the car’s fuel gauge. “It looks like we need gas,” he said, sidestepping her question. “We’d better stop before we go too far. I’ll buy.”

  “Okay.” She adjusted her rearview mirror, and when he didn’t say anything further, she said, “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “What were you and Nick discussing?”

  “Oh, uhh, this and that. Nothing important.”

  Her forehead wrinkled. “Why do I feel like you don’t want to tell me?”

  “Maybe I don’t.”

  “Then just say it’s none of my business.”

  He turned and stared out the side window. “We were talking about you. Okay?”

  “What about me?”

  “I told my brother I got you pregnant back in college and that when I found out you’d lost my baby it made me rethink some decisions I’ve made.”

  “Oh.” She stopped for a red light and glanced over at him. “Do you mind telling me what you’ve changed your mind about?”

  Yes, he minded. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

  “If you don’t think telling you about our baby made me uncomfortable, then you—”

  “Fine.” He tossed his hands up. “Seeing as you don’t want to see me after today, I guess it doesn’t matter what you think of me.” He spent the next few minutes explaining exactly what he’d told Nick about why he’d done what he had. “Anyway,” he said, finishing his story, “after Marc died, it seemed like a good idea.” He glanced over at Trisha, whose knuckles had turned white on the steering wheel.

  “What’re you so tense about?” He reached over and kneaded her neck. “Would you like me to drive?”

  “No, I’m fine.” She rotated her shoulders a few times. “Just for the record, I don’t think you’re weird for wanting to help people have children. Did you—uhh—have to trek into Philly every week to donate?”

  “Actually no. There’s a local cryopreservation center about twenty minutes away in Doylestown.”