Gunner_Northern Grizzlies MC_Book 3

by M. Merin

  Heading back to the main room, I go to join Riley in the kitchen as she unpacks the groceries.

  “Gunner, do you want dinner? Otherwise, I might throw together a snack.” She’s got to be kidding. I’m still full from breakfast. I know I’m staring at her with my jaw open, but I don’t know where she packs this food away.

  “Sweetheart? Don’t get mad or anything, but you aren’t bulimic or something like that, are you?”

  She turns away, starting to blush again; but says something about a fast metabolism. Closing the distance between us, I wrap my arms around her. “I’m fine for right now. Besides, I want to cook for you. I can do steak and asparagus on the grill, ok?”

  “Won’t you freeze out there? We can just cook in here tonight…” I’m shaking my head at her.

  “Nope, besides, I can get the hot tub started up while I’m out at the grill. You game for a dip after dinner?”

  “I’ve never been in one, how can that possibly be fun in this weather?” Riley has her nose wrinkled up at the thought. I can’t believe she grew up in the mountains and has never been in a hot tub. “Besides, I don’t have a suit with me.”

  “Now we’re definitely going in the hot tub! No suit needed, Sweetheart, just you and me up here.” I laugh at her shocked expression. The idea of skinny dipping seems to freak her out more than me spanking her; more than ever, I want her to get used to being naked when we’re alone together. I go to poke the fire that Hawk had going before we arrived.

  As the fire starts to build up again, I turn to see that Riley has followed me out carrying two beers. She looks shyly at me as if waiting for a nod about drinking underage. I merely reach for mine, clinking it against her bottle. She doesn’t need my permission, and I rather she learns that on her own than looking for approval. Riley follows me as I move to sit on the sofa.

  “Take your pants off, Sweetheart, I’ll keep you warm.” I stop her before she sits, holding her bottle out to me. She complies without hesitation, making me smile.

  Pulling her onto my lap and I pull a blanket around us. She squirms around until she’s comfortable then smiles up at me.

  “You know, except for the restaurants, every time I try to sit you pull me onto your lap!”

  “I like you here, so get used to it,” I growl at her, but she laughs at me so I stop trying to hide my grin as I take a swallow of beer.

  “It might even be more fun if your jeans were off also?” She throws at me, curling into my chest again and staring into the fire.

  “Always want your way, don’t you?” As she looks momentarily hurt, I soften it with a kiss and change the subject. “So among the many things I don’t know, what foods don’t you like?”

  The next hours are spent talking and snuggled together except for bathroom breaks and beer refills. She’s smart and reads a lot about world events; so while young, makes interesting points and even though we don’t agree on everything, I mirror her attitude of ‘even if I don’t agree with you on a subject, I’ll respect your right to your opinion’. And hell, at eighteen, she’s able to explain her reasoning behind her opinions in a way that I couldn’t at that age; while staying open to any counter-points I make.

  In what seems like no time at all, I hear her stomach rumble and drop a kiss on her cheek before shifting her so I can get the food started. She sets the table while I prepare everything on the grill; making good on my promise to start up the heater on the hot tub. When I’m ready to sit down, I notice she has laid out some terry-cloth robes and has changed into one of the shirts from my bag. Brushing past her, I snake my hand under the bottom hem to confirm that she’s trying to hide her commando status beneath the size of my shirt.

  “Hey!” She squeals up at me as I goose her. Moving to take her seat she pouts in my direction, “I’m starving. No playing till after I eat my body weight!”

  I laugh along with her, pleased she doesn’t mind making fun of herself. “I’m not playing, Sweetheart. But I do want to know why you’re sitting so far from me?” I shift our plates over to the side of the table that has a farmhouse style bench. “I’d have thought you noticed I like you right up next to me.”

  The meal starts off pretty quiet, she really is hungry again. “There’s something I was wondering about,” She’s majorly hesitant about whatever she wants to ask. “Um, I know that you guys transport drugs, but I was wondering if you, well, if you…”

  Helping her out, I jump in with what I think she’s trying to ask. “I don’t. I used to smoke pot but not really since the Corps. It always made me a little sick. Nothing harder than liquor, you’ll see that I like to be in control. I’d be giving that up if I did.”

  She’s noticeably relieved, but I carry on. “Some of the guys do, they can do whatever in their own time as long as it doesn’t interfere with MC business. Jas won’t allow anything stronger than weed at the clubhouse, so please don’t tell me you’re hiding a meth addiction?” I say, grinning over at her as I polish off my steak.

  “Meth? Gunner, I’m rich, I’m into the good stuff!” Riley laughs, throwing a wink at me to show she’s back to being a smart ass.

  “The good stuff? Did you just throw that out cause you weren’t sure what sounded expensive and hardcore?”

  Nodding at me, she’s quick to give up trying to come across as a badass. “Pretty much.”

  “Are you done, Sweetheart?” I can’t wait anymore. Getting a shy nod in reply, “Leave the plates and come on.” I lead her towards the door to the deck, scooping up the robes on the way. Moving quickly to the hot tub, I shuck my jeans and boxers and slide in. The night air hastens Riley forward when she looks like she’d rather drag her feet. Taking a deep breath, she slips my shirt over her head and follows me in the wonderfully hot water.

  “Give it a minute, Sweetheart. Your head won’t feel cold at all.” Trying to pull her back up against my chest, she quickly slips my grasp and turns to straddle me. My cock jerks up between us and I can’t help but groan as I lean down to kiss her full lips.

  Her reaction to me each time I kiss her is instantaneous and overwhelming. Riley gives herself up to me with each kiss, with each touch. No half measures, no pretending, no going through the motions like so many of the women I’ve been with. I feel so much hope, trust, and passion coming from her in our kiss that I break free from her. I pull her tight to my chest hoping she won’t question me. I have no answers for her now.

  She’s giving me exactly what I want but I don’t deserve it, any of it, and certainly not from her.

  I push her back as I stand and reach for our robes, “Come on, get inside. Why don’t you take the room we were in before? I’ll take the other one and can drive you back in the morning.” I toss over my shoulder as I’m getting out of the hot tub.

  I have to walk away from her, she deserves more than me. I can’t be this much of a bastard, not when it comes to her.

  Realizing she hasn’t moved, I turn towards her but don’t raise my eyes to her face; knowing I couldn’t stand to see her in pain. She turns her back to me, arms crossing to cover her chest.

  “You’re a liar and coward.” She chokes out, choosing to remain in the hot water. At this moment, she is right and I’ve never felt so ashamed of myself.

  Riley

  I can’t move. I can barely breathe. In less than two days he promised me everything then changed his mind. About us.

  I know he hasn’t moved from the doorway but I want him to. I want him gone so I don’t have to shame myself by showing him all of me again; of him seeing the horror of his rejection on my face.

  “Riley,” He starts then pauses and I hear the rustle of the robe. “I’m not right for you. You deserve so much more than me. Please understand. This is me trying to do the best thing for you.” I can’t contain the sob that escapes me. I cover my mouth, mortified at exposing myself as weak.

  Feeling his hands slide in to tug me out of the water, he murmurs; “Come on, you should come inside, Sweetheart.” Hearing the ende
arment from his lips, I lose it.

  I spin towards him, kicking off with my foot against the seat, which in addition to his pull increases my momentum and before I can register anything he is flat on his back as I’m hitting him for all I’m worth. I don’t register the cold against my naked, wet skin nor the pain from hitting what must be an iron jaw; all I can feel is disappointment throughout my very soul.

  It must take a moment for him to catch his breath from the fall but when he does, he wraps his arms tightly around me and though I fight to break free, I am powerless to move until he allows it. He loosens his grip and rolls to get his knees under him. His groan reaches my ears but doesn’t register as I start to realize I am freezing. He lifts me into his arms, moaning.

  “Fuck. You do have a temper, Sweetheart. Don’t sell yourself short.”

  “Don’t say that. Don’t call me that ever again.” I can’t stop the tears now that my anger has started to dissipate. “Cold. So cold.” Is all I can get out through my chattering teeth. “Please.”

  Kicking the door closed behind us, Gunner carries me to the back bedroom for the second time today. Standing me long enough to pull back the covers, he settles me in the bed then lays half on top of me as he gathers the blankets around us. My breath is still shaky as warmth slowly creeps back into me. I hold myself stiff as a board while he caresses my hair. When he finally speaks, I can barely make out the words.

  “I have done some truly fucked up things in my life, Riley. You deserve so much more than me.” He pauses and I refuse to say anything. “I meant every word I said to you; but how can I ever be right for you?”

  “By trusting me enough to believe I know what’s right for me.” Sighing, I will myself to stay strong through my next thought. “You told me you’d never lie to me and that you were all in, did you mean it, even a little?” I ask, staring him down.

  “Riley, Sweetheart?” He gives me his lopsided little grin as he slides in his endearment for me again. “In the hot tub, with you all up against me? The last time I felt that way, I was nineteen, halfway around the world, we were pinned down with bullets flying and guys dying.” He pauses again and then whispers, “I’m so fucking terrified of you. Of what I feel for you. I didn’t run then and I am so sorry I tried to run from you.”

  I put my finger over his lips, “Did you just say ‘sorry’?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “Let me finish, Sweetheart.” He kisses my finger before continuing. “I know I’m asking for a lot of faith after what I just did. I shut down and started to run, I didn’t try to talk to you about what I felt. You did that much for me when you got upset at the hotel earlier. From now on, I’ll talk. I’m not used to it but I will try.”

  I feel so vulnerable at this moment; I need to process his earlier reaction but don’t want to leave the comfort I find in his arms. Turning my back towards him, I simply say, “Let’s sleep on it.” And lie quietly beside his tense body. I work to calm my breathing and he eventually relaxes, folding his arms around me and nuzzling the back of my head. My mind is whirling but overstressed, I drift off mid-thought.

  Chapter 11

  Riley

  Barely cracking an eye, I see enough to confirm what I felt as the veil of sleep was easing back and forcing me into the new day.

  “That’s really creepy,” I say, with both eyes firmly shut again.

  “What?” Gunner asks in a nearly hoarse voice.

  “How long have you been staring at me?” I roll to burrow my face into his neck, only then remembering we’re both naked. And he chuckles.

  “How is that creepy? You’re so beautiful, Riley.” He says, laying a kiss on top of my head. “You looked content, and when I moved your hair off your face you smiled.” Deciding not to care that we’re naked and there’s a sword pressing into my hip, I cuddle closer.

  “Sweetheart?” He says while placing soft kisses across my forehead. “I fucked up last night.”

  “You mean to say, you’re sorry?” I totally get to screw with him over this…

  “I do not like being spanked, or a number of other things that I like to be on the giving end of.”

  “Fine. Then we call it a ‘get out of jail free card’. There’ll be a time you want to spank me and you can’t because I’ll call it in.” I murmur, raising my right leg up to circle his hip; stunned when he moves my leg back down and holds me away from him.

  The intensity of his dark blue gaze makes me want to move back into him, annoying me that he’s holding me away. “Are we okay, Riley? Please tell me what an ass I am, but that we’re okay?”

  “We’re one for one in the ‘momentary freak out’ department.” I point out. “The difference is, Gunner, don’t unilaterally decide what’s best for me ever again.” Barely whispering my feelings, I focus on tracing one of his tattoos rather than see his face. “You almost destroyed me last night.”

  “There may be other aspects of our life where I make a call before discussing it with you first, but no more trying to push you away. I will become someone you deserve, I swear it.” For once, it’s Gunner who’s stumbling over words. I exhale feeling confident again. “Is it safe to call you ‘Sweetheart’ again?”

  “Don’t get a big head, but it makes me feel like I’ve been hugged every time you call me that.”

  “Look at me, Riley.” I do, but before he can continue, the morning light across his face brings a cry from my lips.

  “Gunner, NO!” He is totally startled and nearly falls off the bed as he whips his head around, as though looking for an intruder.

  “What?”

  “You have a black eye!” I am mortified.

  “Well, yeah, from your tiny fists last night.” He grins like this happens every day, but seeing the evidence of my fury causes me to start crying again. At this rate, I’ll be severely dehydrated if we stay together.

  He rolls over on top of me, all the while trying to soothe me. “I deserved that, Sweetheart. Don’t cry anymore, please Riley?”

  I wrap my arms and legs around his body, leaning up to kiss the reminder from last night. “I didn’t mean to, I’ve never hit anyone on purpose before.”

  “Well, then, you’re kind of a badass, Sweetheart. I am thoroughly impressed.” Gunner is grinning down at me. Dropping his gaze to my chest, he leans down to kiss along my collarbone before asking permission to continue. “There was something I was planning on doing, before I screwed up last night…”

  “Oh, yeah?” I murmur, smoothing down his hair with my hands. “What’s that?” I tighten my legs around his waist, grinding my clit against his boner.

  “Shhh, I’ll show you if you behave…” He moves to unwind my legs from around him, pushing me flat onto the bed. As he rolls my rock hard nipples between his rough fingers, I can’t help but moan and arch my hips back up at him. Giving me that devastating smile of his, he glides his hand over the curve of my stomach and teasingly tip-toes his fingers down over my clit, dipping his index finger into my wet pussy. Groaning as he playfully nips my breast, he scoops out the moisture he finds within me.

  Moving his hand back up to dab my cream around my nipples; keeping eye contact with me as he slowly licks them clean, he dips his finger into my mouth. “See how good you taste, Sweetheart?”

  Unable to deny him, I open my mouth and suck on his finger. Wishing for another appendage in my mouth, I reach down to grab his cock. “No Riley. Not yet.”

  Holding my hands to my sides, he slides further down, darting his tongue out to lazily swipe through my slit until he finds my clit. Sucking that into his mouth he continues to torture me until I can’t form any thoughts, then draws back, lying beside me.

  “Gunner, please don’t stop. I need you.” I beg.

  “I know, come up on here.” He half lifts me until my nearly dripping pussy is hovering over his face. “Ride me. You set the pace now, Ri.”

  And I do. My ass cheeks are secured in each of his hands as he holds me in place and I grind down on his tongue a
nd nose until I’m so close to coming I lose all coordination. Then he takes over for me, keeping my pace while sucking and nipping my clit harder and harder as pleasure and pain all jumble together to push me over the edge. I scream indistinguishable words.

  Finally slumping against the wall in front of me, I eventually register the rumbling I feel as his laughter. Crumbling to his side, I feel nervous and exposed. Looking at him, my come has coated his face. “You, are a “squirter,” Riley.”

  “Is that bad?” I’ve never heard that term and while he looks pleased with himself, I’m still new to all of this.

  “Sweetheart, I’m two for two making you squirt. Considering I thought squirting was an urban legend that makes you a unicorn. My very own unicorn.” He looks pretty smug as he wipes his hand down his face, bringing it back up to take a sniff followed by a lick. “So delicious.” Looking over at my red face that I’m trying to hide while I figure this out; he rolls towards me, pulling me close.

  “Don’t be shy,” he snuggles his head into the crook of my neck, whispering directly into my ear. “It really turns me on that I can make you feel that good.”

  I don’t have my phone nearby and am too embarrassed to ask the difference between coming and squirting, but know I’ll be running a search on that the first chance I get. “I want to make you come now, Gunner.” I peek up at him, kissing his chin then rubbing my nose in his light covering of whiskers.

  “Don’t think I don’t want it, but you have to shower!”

  “What?!”

  “School day, Sweetheart. And I have some stops to make. I’ll drop you off at school, what time for your pick up?” He asks as he maneuvers us off the bed.

  “No, just take me to my car and we can meet back here later,” I suggest, trying to make it easier for him. “You have it for another night, right?”

  “I do, but I’m driving you. Go get ready and I’ll start breakfast.”