Becoming James Black

by Skye Turner

  When the last of the setting sun fades and the stars fill the Texas sky, I sigh and hop down from the truck bed.

  Time to try to slip into my small room in the barn. I want nothing more than to shower off and drop face down on my bunk.

  I claimed the tack room about a year ago when the last occupant disappeared into the night on his eighteenth birthday.

  I get it, dude. Another year and a half and I’m out of here, too!

  Chapter Seven

  Rose

  1992

  Where am I going? Where is this lady taking me?

  All I can do is stare at the garishly red lipstick she’s wearing in the rearview mirror. She seems overtly cheerful. It’s grating on my nerves.

  She’s chattering along about how happy my foster family is to get me. She says they have lots of foster kids, but that I’ll be the youngest. She hopes I’ll be happy there.

  Happy? Really?

  How can I be happy?

  I’m alone. I have no family. My parents are dead. My Maw Maw is dead and my only friend is an hour away in Fort Worth.

  Yeah, those are the perfect grounds for being happy.

  I wish she’d just stop talking. My head hurts and I want to cry.

  This is my third foster family in the seven months since my Maw Maw died. The first one was a young woman. She was barely twenty-four. She and her older husband wanted a ready-made family. She was dying for a daughter and when she saw me, she thought I was perfect for them. She kept saying how beautiful I was. I suppose she wanted a doll to dress up and shop with, but when she realized I’m a teenager who preferred books and my own company over crowds, she got annoyed. Eventually, she just called them to come get me.

  My second foster family was another couple. They did nothing but fight. I think they thought that adding a kid to the mix would “fix” their sham of a marriage, but it didn’t. More responsibility created more problems and when the wife caught the husband watching me from the door of my bedroom one night, she screamed at me that I was enticing him and trying to seduce him. I was floored. I wasn’t doing any such thing. But she called me horrible names and he told her I’d teased and flirted with him, so they kicked me out, too.

  I have no faith in people. Everyone is out for themselves and everyone wants something. I just want to be left alone, but I’m only right at fifteen, so that will never happen.

  Instead, I’m in the back of a Child Services car again and I’m heading out to some farm in the middle of nowhere.

  Eventually the car turns off the main road onto a dirt one. We follow the cracked dirt path for a bit and then a really old house that looks like it belongs in a horror movie comes into view.

  The porch is sagging and pieces are rotten. The columns are warped and peeling. The house looks like it was white at some point, probably 100 years ago, but now it’s a dingy grey from all the grime and dust. There are vines growing up the sides. The whole place gives me the creeps.

  There’s a bright red barn in the corner of the yard. That at least looks new and well maintained. I almost hope my bedroom is in there.

  She stops the car and turns to me with nervous eyes and a forced smile. I get the feeling she doesn’t like this place any more than I do.

  She says, “This is your new home, Rose.” She grimaces and I can see the despair in her eyes at her next words. “Look, I’m sorry. I know that the house isn’t much to look at.

  “I’m going to be completely honest with you. We don’t have an abundance of foster families and well, you’ve been returned twice now.”

  I open my mouth to argue that it wasn’t my fault, but she holds her hand out to stop me and her lips pinch together so tightly that the bright red bleeds out. It makes me shiver, but she ignores me and continues.

  “I don’t think it’s your fault. You are a very bright and beautiful girl.” She looks away quickly and I see her shake her head. She looks out the window where two really bedraggled and trashy people are standing. I see her back move as she shivers.

  Great… this is already looking amazing.

  I stare at the people on the porch. The man has greasy slicked back hair and a shaggy mustache. He’s very skinny and his dirty clothes are hanging off of him. He’s staring at the car so intently with his beady little eyes, I get a chill.

  The woman has ratty brown hair with lots of grey strands that stick almost straight out. She’s wearing a dirty flowered dress and even from here I can see the scars on her face. It looks like she had a really bad case of acne that scarred her face all up. Her lip curls menacingly as we watch and she says something to the man, then she turns to the car and her fake smile makes my blood curdle in my veins.

  I can’t help it, I squeak out, “Please don’t make me stay here. I’ll go anywhere, but I don’t want to stay here.”

  The lady with the red lipstick turns to me and gives me a forced smile. “This is the only place I have to put you, dear. We’re going to make the best of it, ok?!”

  She opens the door before I can form a response and steps out of the car.

  My door opens from the outside and she leans into the car. “Rose, I’m sorry. They have other children here. I know one of the boys very well.” She looks over the hood toward where the red barn is standing. She nods. “Oh, there he is now. Come on. I’ll introduce you.”

  Turning my head, I look through the dusty window to the barn. I see about six teenagers standing there. I count four boys and two girls. All appear older than I am. None look friendly. They’re all scowling at the car as they hold various pieces of farm equipment or buckets.

  One boy in particular captures my gaze and even from this distance, I can’t look away. He’s beautiful. I’ve never seen a boy so beautiful before.

  His blond hair has white streaks that appear natural. He’s shirtless and even though I can tell he’s a teenager, his body is so muscled, he looks like a man. His skin is dark brown and I can see that his natural color is much lighter because his jeans are dipping on his hips and I see white skin under the band. I can’t see his eyes from the glare of the unrelenting sun, but I can tell he’s staring at me.

  I gasp.

  Jerking back quickly to stop from staring at him, I stand up and my suitcase falls into the dirt with such force that it pops open. With a muttered scream, I bend down and start picking up my clothes from where they’re scattered in the red dirt. The lady with the red lips helps me and before we straighten she smiles at me. “You’re going to be ok here, Rose. I know you will.”

  The fact that she seems like she’s trying to convince herself of that fact doesn’t escape me.

  With a small smile, I stand and clutch my suitcase. We walk over to the sagging porch and stop as we stand on the creaking bottom step. The lady with the red lipstick greets the couple at the top of the porch. “Hello. Sorry we’re late.” She gestures to me. “This is Rose Hart. Rose, this is Bernice and Tobias Meager.” She smiles at me in silent encouragement. “They’re your new foster family.”

  Looking up at them timidly, I smile slightly. My smile fades as I see the hardness in the woman’s eyes and something that creeps me out in the man’s. He rakes his gaze over me and I can’t suppress the shudder. His wife does the same and then she smiles down at me. I don’t know why, but I can instantly tell this is not a friendly smile.

  There’s nothing you can do, Rose. You have to stay here.

  You asked them not to send you here but no one else wants you.

  I’m just a kid and can’t be on my own, besides I can’t take care of myself. I’m going to suck it up and just keep my head down. I’ll do my chores and go to school and try my best to ignore everyone.

  Those kids don’t look like they want me here and I don’t like the way Mr. Meager is looking at me. I know grown men aren’t supposed to look at teenage girls like that!

  Gross. He’s so gross.

  God, this is going to be so bad. I don’t want to stay here.

  I’m having trouble breathin
g from the intense heat and the panic attack that’s threatening to bust free from my chest. Closing my eyes, I count to twenty and when that doesn’t work, I count to twenty again and take deep breaths.

  I feel a presence at my back and I shriek and recoil, but as I turn, I see the blond boy. He stares at me and my mouth falls open.

  Oh wow. He’s even more gorgeous than I thought.

  He just stares at me in silence, until the lady with the red lipstick says hurriedly in something that almost sounds like relief, “Oh good. Rose, this is the boy I was telling you about. This is Jaye.” She looks from me to the guy. “Jaye, this is Rose Hart. She’s the new foster child here. I know that you’ll help her feel welcome… and keep an eye on her.”

  What? Why did she add that last part in that tone?

  I want the ground to open up and swallow me. This gorgeous teenager does not need to watch me. I’m almost fifteen! I don’t need a babysitter!

  He finally smiles at me and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

  Blue… his eyes are a gorgeous blue.

  Good golly…. Ok, maybe this place won’t be so bad after all. This really hot guy is smiling at me.

  Jaye…. His name is Jaye.

  He nods at the lady with the red lipstick and then looks back at me. He looks at my suitcase and reaches out, taking it from me. As he scales the steps, he calls over his shoulder, “Nice to meet you, Rose. I’ll show you to your room.” He stares down the man and the woman until the man mutters under his breath and looks away. Jaye smirks and bumps his shoulder as he walks past him. When he reaches the door, he holds out his hand to me and says, “You stick with me, beauty. You need anything or need to talk… about anything… you find me. Ok?”

  I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but he sounds sincere. The lady with the red lipstick lets out a relieved sounding sigh and nods at me. “You stay close to Jaye, ok, Rose?”

  I nod and head up the stairs. I don’t miss the way both Bernice and Tobias are glaring at Jaye. The rage in Tobias’s eyes is unmistakable as he mutters something under his breath. His wife stomps on his feet to silence him and gives me another fake smile.

  Jaye nods at the lady with the red lipstick again. “I’ve got her.” He stares at her. “She’s going to be good. I’ve got her.”

  She nods and wrings her hands together as she gives me one last look. She smiles at me and then looks back at Jaye before glancing back at me. “I’ll check on you in a week or so, ok?”

  I nod as she heads back to her car. When she opens the door, she stops and gives me one more look. She slides in and closes the door. I see her shudder before she looks up and gives a slight wave. I wave back and she smiles before she backs up and heads back down the driveway.

  We watch the car until it disappears in a cloud of dust.

  Jaye calls my name. “Rose?”

  With a nervous glance, I turn toward him. He smiles at me as he opens the door. “Come on. I’ll show you your room. You’re upstairs with the other girls.”

  Tobias tries to grab the suitcase from him and says, “I’ll show her. You get back to work, boy!”

  It happens so fast, it takes me by surprise. Jaye straightens up and his body tenses as he jerks the suitcase back from Mr. Meager. He’s much bigger than the older man and it’s so forceful that Tobias stumbles. Jaye points at him and grits out, “I think not. I’ll show her where she’s staying. There is no reason that you ever need to be upstairs in the girls’ room. I can spare five minutes to get Rose settled. I’ve got her.” They glare at each other and in my shock, I just look back and forth between them.

  Jaye turns to me. “Follow me, Rose.” He glares at Mr. Meager and says as clear as a bell, “I’ve got her. Do you hear me, old man?”

  Spittle flies out of Mr. Meager’s mouth as his face turns purple with unrepressed rage, but no sound comes out. Jaye pushes past him and I follow blindly.

  I don’t know what just happened on the porch, but something is screaming at me to stay with Jaye.

  I’m listening.

  We head up the worn stairs and once we get to the top, he opens a door on the right. He walks in and sets my suitcase on the bed before turning to me. I just stare at him. He seems to fill this sparsely furnished room.

  He points to the bed with my suitcase on it. “That’s your bed. It’s not great, but the sheets should be clean. All of you girls are in here, so that, at least, is something.” He sighs and looks around. I follow suit and take in the bare room with dust bunnies and cobwebs in the corners. I shudder.

  How did I get here?

  Once again he sighs and I look at him shyly. He’s studying me, but I’m not weirded out by it. He asks, “How old are you?”

  I feel a blush travel up my chest and into my cheeks. I stutter out, “I’m fourteen and a half.”

  He mutters something under his breath I can’t quite catch before he smiles at me again. “Ok. Well, if you need anything at all, find me. I stay in the barn. I’ll show you around now and I’m going to show you where I stay. If you ever need anything… at all, come find me, ok?”

  I don’t know why, but something is telling me that I need to stay close to Jaye. He’s the only one here that seems nice and it sounds like he’s trying to tell me something… I don’t really know what it is, but I know that I’m listening.

  Jaye just became my lifeline in this insane ocean.

  Chapter Eight

  Jaye

  1992

  Another day, more bullshit. Every day since the day I arrived here, I’ve counted down the days until I would be free to leave.

  Yet now, every day I find myself looking toward the house as soon as I awaken.

  Rose.

  Rose has changed things. She’s been here a few weeks now and I can’t help but watch out for her. I’ve made it abundantly clear she’s not to be messed with. Not by the kids or by Tobias.

  I see the way he looks at her. It makes my skin crawl. But, I’m determined to protect her from the likes of him. She is one girl I’ll make certain he will not touch, no matter how deep in his cups he gets or who comes out to this farm. Her age and the fact that he’s intimidated by me are keeping her safe.

  I’m bigger than he is and I do hard labor every day in this hellhole. I could break him if he pushed me and he knows I wouldn’t hesitate if he tries me.

  He watches Rose and the other girls, but I know for a fact that he hasn’t touched any of them. I’ve asked them repeatedly and finally have all of the girls’ trust. They’ve said that he leers and makes comments, but he hasn’t crossed any lines. He know that if he bothers them, they just need to come get me and I’ll take care of his ass. Though, the same can’t be said about other “male visitors.”

  Tobias tried me once last year. I had been in the field all day, digging trenches for irrigation, and I was exhausted when I got back to the farm. I just wanted to wash off and fall into my bunk, but he was waiting for me when I rolled back into the yard.

  It’d been over 100 degrees outside that day. It was August in Texas and it hadn’t rained for over two months. The crops were drying up and to try to save them, Tobias had several of us out in the fields the past week digging trenches we could fill with water from the well to keep the crops hydrated.

  It seemed like a pretty fruitless ordeal to even attempt it at this point, but there was no arguing with that idiot. So, every day for a week, I’d drive us out to the field and we’d work from sun up to sun down.

  Tobias didn’t care about the heat or the fact that we are teenagers out busting our asses in it. No, he only cares about himself.

  The guys and I had put in a solid twelve hours and we were plum exhausted. We’d had a cooler of water that ran out about three hours ago and one stale bread and cheese sandwich each to sustain us throughout the day. We were beat and starving… not to mention completely filthy.

  I pulled in and circled the yard before parking by the barn and the other guys hopped out. Several headed to the troug
hs to rinse off with the stagnant water held there, but I took a few extra seconds to unload the back of the truck. I wanted to rinse the shovels and put them up to dry before we headed back out tomorrow.

  Lord knows, I need to take care of them. If they rusted or broke, it’s not like we could get more. Tobias would probably just make us dig with our hands.

  All we are is slave labor anyway.

  I don’t know how much money they get from the state, but I know that we don’t see any of it. We barely get fed and our hygiene is questionable at best. These people are pigs and are greedy bottom dwellers.

  As I’m putting the shovels against the barn wall to dry, I hear a screech. It’s feminine, so instantly I race out of the barn to see what’s happening.

  Tobias has Raquel by her hair. He’s leaning into her face as she cowers on the ground. I can’t hear everything he’s saying, but I can hear that he’s angry and her wails are pain-filled.

  I yell at him to let her go as I run across the yard to them. He ignores me. As I get closer, I can hear his words. “You don’t tell me ‘no.’ You little whore! You do what I tell you to. When I tell you to. You don’t ever tell me ‘no.’ Who do you think you are, you fucking puta?!”

  That’s all I need to hear. Grabbing him by his thin shoulders, I yank him back as I scream at him. “Don’t you talk to her like that! Get your goddamned hands off of her, you fucking snake.”

  It startles him and he lets go of her hair. She scampers back in the dirt and I call down to her, “Go into the house, Raquel.”

  Tobias turns his beady eyes to me and snarls out, “Get your hands off of me, boy. What do you think you’re doin’? I’ll beat you senseless for your disrespect. Don’t you dare interfere in my business!”

  Rage takes over me and I shake him. He’s jerking like a ragdoll as my fingers dig into his shoulders. He cries out in anguish as I shake the shit out of him. Pulling him right into my face, I stare into his glazed eyes, which are open wide in shock and fear. My breath hits his face as I mutter, “Don’t you EVER threaten me or anyone else on this farm again. Do YOU hear ME, old man? If I ever see you with your hands on any of these girls again, I… Will… Kill… You.” His eyes bulge out of his face. “Do. You. Understand. Me?”