Hating the Rock Star

by Hamel, B. B.

  The bus pulls off the turnpike somewhere toward the end of Ohio. The guys all pile out, glad to be at a rest stop. I follow, stretching my legs, breathing fresh air, just happy to be away from that bus for a few minutes.

  I wander over toward the building. Chase is sitting outside on the curb, leaning back on his hands.

  “Mind if I sit?” I ask him.

  He shrugs. “Go ahead.”

  I sit down and lean forward, hugging my knees against my chest. “Touring sucks,” I say.

  He laughs a little. “It’s not so bad. You’ll get used to it.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Harder when the person dragging you along isn’t even talking to you.”

  Chase flashes me a frown but looks away. “I noticed that.”

  “What’s up with him, anyway?”

  “Joss? Who knows.”

  “No, I mean Nathan.”

  Chase hesitates. “Him… he’s a little more complicated.”

  “Joss told me that he did something to Nathan, and now he’s been paying for it.” I shake my head, hair falling around me. “I don’t know what that means. But it’s why he’s ignoring me.”

  Chase groans a little. “What a dick.”

  “Who, Joss?”

  “Both of them. It’s been years. I don’t know why they can’t get over it.”

  “What happened?” I feel desperate, and Chase seems like he’s willing to talk. He gives me a look for a second, trying to read my expression.

  “If I tell you the story, you have to promise never to bring it up to either of them. Okay?”

  “I don’t know,” I say.

  “Look, Joss isn’t going to tell you, and I think you’ll understand them better if you know. Everyone else fucking does.”

  I bite my lip. “Fine. Okay. I promise I won’t tell him.”

  He nods sharply. “Good. I’m so fucking sick of those two being such…” He trails off and takes a deep breath.

  “This happened a few years ago,” he says. “Back when we were still in school, Landon just joined up and we were playing a few gigs in the area, just starting to make a name for ourselves in the scene.

  “Nathan had a girlfriend named Mary. She was… well, I don’t know a nicer way to put it. Mary was a fucking bitch. She was mean to Nathan, controlling as hell, but really, really hot. Nathan was in love with her.

  “We put up with her for a while. She hung around the band all the time, being a prissy little shit, and Nathan catered to her every single need. He gave her whatever she wanted, he was her little puppy dog, and she knew it. She took advantage of it. And the only person that really understood her and saw through her bullshit at the time was Joss.

  “They fought a lot about Mary. Little arguments and shit, you know. Joss insisted she was awful, Nathan defended his girlfriend. It was never going to end well.

  “Until one night, senior year. We just played a huge show and the rep from our label was in touch with Nathan. We were getting our big deal, our big break. Things were amazing, we were all happy as fuck… except for Joss.

  “I don’t know how it happened. We were at band practice when the shit went down, though. Joss stopped everything early and took Nathan into another room. They talked, started yelling. Turns out, Joss slept with Mary the night of the big show.

  “It fucked Nathan up. Almost broke up the band. Ruined their friendship for sure. As it turns out, Mary had been cheating on Nathan for a while, and Joss only fucked her to prove to Nathan that she was a real piece of shit. He convinced him all right, but he also ruined anything resembling a friendship between them.”

  Chase trails off and stares at the ground. I watch him, frowning, trying to digest that.

  “I don’t get it,” I say finally.

  He looks up at me. “What don’t you get?”

  “Joss slept with Mary to prove a point?”

  Chase sighs. “I know. He’s a fucking moron. He’d been telling Nathan for a while that Mary was fucking around on him, but Nathan wouldn’t listen, so I guess… I guess he thought he’d prove it.”

  I shake my head. “That’s insane.”

  “I know. We were young and stupid and impulsive. I’ve talked to him since and he knows it was a huge, stupid, epic mistake… but we can’t exactly change the past.”

  I bite my lip and lean back, matching Chase’s posture.

  “So that’s it, huh,” I say softly. “Joss slept with Nathan’s awful girlfriend, and it broke them apart.”

  “A girl ruined their friendship,” he says softly. “Probably why Nathan is so sensitive about you.”

  I give him a look. “Why does everyone think I’m Yoko freaking Ono or something?”

  “I don’t think that, if it helps.” He sighs and stands up. “Anyway, that’s the story. At least all I know about it. I’m sure it’s more complicated, but… Joss did something stupid. He meant well, but he was really stupid. And here we are.” He cocks his head at me. “You want a coffee or something?”

  “No, I’m okay. I’m just gonna sit here for a little bit.”

  “Sure. And seriously, don’t mention I told you any of that to either of them. It would be really, really bad.”

  “I won’t. Promise.”

  He nods once and walks off, back into the rest stop building. I stare off into the distance, trying to digest all of that.

  I can’t imagine the kind of mindset you have to be in to sleep with your friend’s girlfriend in order to prove that she’s a cheater. Obviously they were young and dumb and Joss is a notorious womanizer, but still…

  I can’t tell if he’s a monster or if he’s the best friend I’ve ever heard of.

  Probably both. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Joss, it’s that nothing he does is simple.

  Footsteps behind me. I half turn and there he is, the rock star himself. He smiles a little, squinting in the sunlight. “You heading back?” he asks.

  I shrug. “Is it time?”

  “Just about.”

  I stand up and brush myself off. “You can escort me then.”

  His eyebrows go up. “Right this way, miss.” He offers me his arm.

  I take it and smile up at him, trying not to think about his stupid mistakes.

  The past is the past, except for it when it keeps infecting the present.

  We walk back to the bus together. He tells me about the song they’re writing, but the whole time I keep thinking about that Joss from back then and the Joss I know now.

  And how there are no such things as straight lines in the real world.

  18

  Joss

  Chicago always feels so familiar.

  I don’t know why. I didn’t grow up here. But there’s something about the elevated trains, the big buildings, the way the city moves… it feels close. I’ve probably seen this city a hundred times in movies and TV, which is what makes me feel this way. Or maybe it’s some kind of magical spiritual connection.

  Or maybe I just like the damn city.

  “Finally,” Chase says, hopping off the bus. We’re parked out front of the hotel we’ll stay at tonight. “By the end of this tour, I’m gonna hate that damn thing.”

  “We’re all gonna hate it,” Landon grunts at him.

  I stretch my legs and look over at Grace. She gives me a tentative little smile and I let myself smile back. We head inside and go to check in as a group, but apparently Karl beat us here and checked us in already.

  We find the old bastard at the bar. “Keys,” Landon demands, hand out. “Keys or a drink. Your call.”

  Karl sighs. “Can’t you guys just relax for one second?”

  “I’m trying to relax,” Landon says. “By lying in a strange bed wearing nothing but the hotel robe.”

  “Gross,” Nathan says.

  “Don’t judge me. Nothing nicer than some high quality cotton on your balls.” Landon raises his eyebrows at Karl. “Now, keys.”

  Karl slips him a key card. “Don’t go crazy, okay?” he says s
oftly.

  Landon ignores him and stalks off alone.

  “As for the rest of you, take a damn seat, I wanna talk to you.”

  I grin at Karl. “Are we getting one of your famous pep talks?”

  “Oh, fuck off.”

  “Yep, that sounds about right.”

  Chase and Nathan both laugh, which is nice. I don’t know the last time Nathan laughed at one of my jokes.

  “Grace, would you mind meeting us later?” Karl asks her, handing her a card.

  “Oh, yeah. Sure.” She takes it with a glance toward me. “I’ll see you guys later.”

  She heads off and I watch her go for a second before looking back at Karl.

  “Listen, boys,” he says. “These two shows are sold out and we might add a third. Any objections?”

  Nobody speaks up. We’re here. Might as well play three and get paid.

  “Good.” He picks up his drink, looks like some kind of bourbon, and takes a sip. “Now, more pressing business. We gotta talk about the elephant in the room.”

  “What’s that?” Nathan asks him.

  “The girl.”

  I groan and roll my eyes. “Come on. Are you kidding me with this shit?”

  He glares at me, but looks back at Chase and Nathan instead of replaying. “Here’s the thing. I want to put the girl in front of some reporters, have her answer questions. That’s inevitably going to lead to questions about you two.”

  “Does that matter?” Chase asks.

  “It might,” Karl replies. “I don’t know her that well, but you’ve been seeing her more. Is it going to be an issue?”

  “You could just fucking ask me,” I say, getting annoyed.

  “You’re biased and I don’t trust your opinion about her,” Karl snaps back. “Remember when you announced your marriage in the middle of a fucking show? Now shut up.”

  I want to get up and kick his teeth in, but he has a damn point.

  “I don’t know,” Chase says. “I like her, if I’m honest. She’s nice and I think she’s good for Joss, even if he doesn’t know it. But I don’t know if she’d be good in an interview.”

  “That’s the problem,” Karl says. “We don’t know how much we can trust her. Did you boys tell her anything she shouldn’t know? Anything the press doesn’t know?”

  Karl seems to direct his question toward me, but it’s Chase that seems a little… awkward. He glances away from Karl, frowning to himself. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t have time to worry, since Karl is staring at me.

  “I haven’t said anything,” I tell him. “We don’t have any big secrets, anyway.”

  “Right,” he says, frowning slightly. “What about you two?”

  “Nothing,” Nathan says.

  “Uh, nothing,” Chase grunts, staring at the floor.

  I make a mental note to ask him what the hell he did.

  “Fine, okay. So she probably can’t blow our shit up, even if she wants to. But do you two trust her on camera?”

  Chase shrugs. “I trust her,” he says.

  “I do too.”

  Nathan says it almost so quietly that I don’t hear him at first. Even Karl looks a little surprised.

  “Really?” he asks. “I’ll be frank, you don’t usually trust people.”

  “I like her,” Nathan says softly. “I don’t necessarily love that Joss spends all his time mooning over her, but she’s not a bad person. She’s not stupid or malicious.” He shrugs a little. “Let her do it.”

  We all stare at him for a second. I don’t think I’ve heard him say anything nice about anyone for like two years now.

  Karl finally breaks the awkwardness. “Well, that’s about as big a ringing endorsement as she’s likely to get.” He raises his glass. “To Grace’s big debut, I fucking guess.” He knocks it back as Nathan, Chase, and I stand up.

  Karl hands out the cards, but he grabs my arm. “Hang back,” he says, as Chase and Nathan head off. I’m left in the bar alone with Karl.

  “Might as well order me a drink if you’re about to fuck me,” I say to him.

  He grins. “No fucking today, my dear Joss.”

  “What do you need then? We just put Grace through the wringer, although it turns out that she’s not as awful as you thought.”

  “Not my intention, although I can see how you might think it.” He sighs. “Look, kid, I’m just looking out for the band, okay?”

  “Fine.” I cross my arms. “What do you want?”

  “Do the interview with her. Make sure she doesn’t put her fist in her mouth.”

  I shrug. “Okay. I can do that.”

  “And convince her to do it, because I’m not positive she will.”

  I frown slightly. “You might be right about that.”

  “Look, it’s not the end of the world if she refuses. Truth is, I’m swamped with requests. Everyone wants a fucking piece of her right now, and a piece of you by extension. Getting something down might ease some of this damn tension.” He cracks his knuckles, an ugly and annoying habit. “Who knows, maybe she’ll be good. Or maybe she’ll bomb and nobody will want to talk to her again. Either way, it’s a win-win.”

  “For you, maybe.” I stand up. “But what about her?”

  “That’s where you come in. Go convince her and report back.”

  “Yes, sir.” I turn and walk away without another word.

  I don’t know why I’m doing Karl’s bidding. It pisses me off that he thinks she might ruin our band during a simple fucking interview. I mean, I don’t even know what she could say that would be so horrible.

  Still, I understand where he’s coming from. He doesn’t want Grace to potentially do something that could harm us, and I appreciate that. I just don’t think she would, or even could. She’s smarter than that.

  Even Nathan thinks so, which shocks me. I figured he hated her guts, despised her even, but I guess that was a little self-absorbed. I didn’t stop to consider that he could possibly like her as a person, but dislike the way I’ve been distracted by her.

  Something to keep in mind in the future. Nathan isn’t just a hard-ass dickhead for no reason all the time. He can be decent once in a while.

  I head upstairs and find Grace’s room is right next to mine. I mentally thank Karl for that nice little bonus as I knock on her door.

  “How was the meeting?” she asks as she lets me in.

  “Not bad,” I say. I take a seat at the end of her bed and she leans up against the table. I glance at her legs, letting my eyes roam up along her hips before I meet her striking, pretty eyes.

  I have the sudden, intense urge to get up, push her back on that table, and fuck her damn brains out.

  But no, I’m here for a reason. If I can do this for Karl, maybe he’ll lighten up and quit being such a dick all the time.

  “Listen, I need a favor.”

  “If you’re trying to get in my pants, I’m not in the mood.”

  I grip the sheets a bit, smiling despite myself. “You’re always in the mood. I see how you stare at me.”

  “Please. I’m staring daggers at you. Wishing we weren’t married.”

  “More like picturing my tongue between your legs and wondering when I’ll finally get you off again.”

  She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling too. “I think you overestimate your abilities.”

  “I think you’re a bad liar.”

  “What do you need, Joss?”

  I take a breath, trying to get myself back on track. Of course she brings up sex and totally knocks me off my game. Now I just want to fuck her even more.

  “Karl wants you to do an interview,” I tell her. “He thinks it’ll help with the mystery we created. Apparently the music media’s going fucking nuts.”

  “I know,” she says, glancing at her phone. “It just keeps ringing. Seriously, it won’t stop.”

  “Karl’s trying to help, but he thinks an interview will do even more.”

  She bites her lip. “What do people
want to know about me?”

  “Mostly they’ll ask about me.” I stand up and go toward her. She looks up as I stop in front of her, hands on her hips. “They’ll ask how big my cock is and how deep it can fit in your throat.”

  She shakes her head and slips away from me. She goes over to the bed and sits down where I just got up.

  “I don’t know,” she says, ignoring my comment. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

  “I’ll be with you.”

  “Really?” She raises an eyebrow. “Karl doesn’t trust me?”

  “Nope,” I say. “Although Nathan does, oddly enough.”

  That gets her attention. “Really?”

  “Really. He likes you. Which is basically the nicest thing he’s ever said about someone.”

  “Huh. Wow. I figured he hated my guts and wanted me to die.”

  “Same.” I lean my hands flat back on the table. “So you’ll do this?”

  “Will it help the band?”

  “It’ll help me.”

  She bites her lip. “Fine. But you’re with me, and you better make sure it goes okay. If I come off looking like a moron, it’s your fault.”

  “I don’t think you could come off bad even if you tried.” I smile and stand up straight. “Thanks, Grace. I’ll go tell Karl.”

  I head toward her door, but she stops me. “Hold on,” she says, standing up. “Listen, I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Yeah?” I look back at her.

  She frowns a little. “I feel dumb for saying this but… why were you ignoring me on the bus?”

  I let out a breath. “I’m sorry about that,” I say softly. “Nathan was pissed that I kept looking at you, thinking about you… he thought I was distracted.”

  “Were you?” Sly little smile on her lips.

  “I was very, very distracted.”

  “Good. Better go talk to Karl.” She turns away from me, but I can practically see the grin on her face through the back of her head.

  I nod and leave her room. As soon as the door shuts, I’m smiling like a moron.

  That girl can be so damn confusing sometimes, but right now, I’m not confused at all. She wants attention from me, wants me to talk to her and flirt with her and probably do much, much more with her. She doesn’t want me to ignore her.