Book Read Free

Transformation

Page 3

by Rosemary Nourse


  "Wow, sounds like a close call, you poor thing. Should I come pick you up?" Rita offered kindly.

  "Thanks but no, I'm leaving town. I'm not going back to work or my mother—ever. I'm determined to make a new life for myself. I'm not the same person I used to be, not at all," Jane stated emphatically.

  "You don't have to leave honey, you can move in with me and the kids."

  "Thanks Rita, you've been a good friend, but I have to go and I want to. I'll be in touch with you sometime." Hot tears fell from her eyes as she recalled all the times Rita had helped her through the years.

  "I need you to do me a favor, the police will be asking questions about me because it looks like I disappeared. Try to tell them as little as possible, I don't want to be tracked down..."

  "Okay, I won't. There's plenty of times I'd like to disappear from my life, I understand," Rita assured her.

  "I better get going, please take care of yourself."

  "Wait, I almost forgot to tell you, Mrs. Dade told me that Katherine died peacefully last night around three in the morning. She thought you'd want to know."

  Jane was quiet for a minute, "thanks for telling me, love to you and the kids."

  "Same to you," Rita said sadly as she hung up.

  Jane had a plan and she had to act fast. She'd just finished taking a hot shower when there was a light rap at her door.

  "Come in," she said tentatively, hoping it was not her mother.

  "Hi."

  "Oh, hello Dr. Rye."

  "I just wanted to let you know that your latest CAT scan was okay. You should be fine."

  "Thanks, I appreciate all the good care and attention you've given me. You've been very kind," she commented with sincerity.

  "You're welcome, that's nice of you to say. Um, I was thinking that a colleague of mine could be of value to you, if you'd agree to let him talk to you a bit. He's a wonderful doctor and I think he could help you."

  "You're talking about a psychiatrist, right?"

  "There's nothing wrong with talking to a psychiatrist. Dr. Collins is very caring and intelligent, I'm hoping he can assist you in some way. Everyone reaches a point in their life where they could use some help, whether they admit it or not," he stated.

  "I'm quiet about what I've been through, but I'm not mentally disturbed or confused. I can take care of myself and I will do just that. Thanks, but I don't need his help."

  He was quiet for a moment, she was able to skillfully shut him down no matter what he suggested. She didn't appear frightened. She must have something in mind, he only hoped it wouldn't be another suicide attempt.

  "You're going to leave, aren't you?" he asked her point-blank.

  "I'm not going to involve you in my situation by answering that question."

  "You're going to make things worse for yourself by running away," he told her.

  "Dr. Rye, I never ran away from anything in my life, no matter how unbearable it was. I need to run towards something now though, something better and healthier."

  "The police will be looking for you and I can tell you're not a professional criminal, they'll find you."

  "Maybe they will, I actually have nothing to hide. But I'm poor and alone and I know they won't believe me. All I want is to disappear and start a new life somewhere else, that's nothing a person should be arrested for."

  "True, except your circumstances appear more complicated; it looked as though you were trying to hurt yourself and that other girl, Jane Marshall, is still missing. You were driving her car," he reminded her.

  She placed her face two inches from his, "look at my face, right into my eyes and through my soul when I tell you that I did not do anything illegal or wrong. I did not hurt anyone. Truthfully, Jane was with me but she went somewhere and I don't know where. Yes, I did want my life to end on that miserable night—a person can only take so much. And you'll find out, when the police contact you, that they've been to Jane's home many times in the past for various reasons and my life was the same.

  But there was a reason I didn't die that night and so I'll keep on fighting, like I've done for 23 years. Jane deserves to be left alone, I deserve to be left alone," she finished strongly, tears falling from her eyes as she struggled to continue speaking, "I deserve a chance for something better..."

  He watched her intently as she spoke, seeing no hint of deception or manipulation. Her words jabbed at his heart, there was something about her that touched him. Without painted details, he gathered her past had been horrid. Suddenly, he stood up and shoved his hand into his back pocket.

  "I want to help you, here, two hundred and fifty dollars. It's not much, but it should get you pretty far from here," he said, pressing the money into her hand.

  "You don't have to do this, I don't want to compromise your ethics," she kept her hand open for him to take it back.

  "You're not compromising anything because this conversation never took place."

  "Thank you," was all she could say as she spontaneously embraced him.

  He hugged her back, "where will you go?"

  "It's a big world, but I have a feeling that I'll be pointed in the right direction."

  He knew he couldn't convince her to stay and that if he did, it would clearly be for selfish reasons. It was better that she leave a place that held only bad memories.

  They talked a little while longer, then he glanced down at his watch and said he had to go. Jane thanked him again as he held onto her hand for a moment and then walked out of the room without looking back.

  It was thoroughly dark by seven o'clock that night. Jane had to wait for the sheltering darkness of evening even though she was deathly afraid the police would walk in at any moment to confront her. She grabbed her bag out of the closet, climbed out the second story window onto the flat roof and then jumped down to the wet grass below. She knew where all the Salvation Army bins were in the area, having worn the contents of those bins for most of her life. She ran to one a couple of blocks away that stood in the back of a convenience store parking lot. Lifting the heavy lid, she pulled out a few large bags filled with donated clothing. Quickly rifling through the contents, she found a pair of decent jeans in what she guessed to be about her size, a worn polo shirt, sweater and a pair of tennis shoes. Hiding behind the bin, she threw them on and discarded her hospital attire as she gathered everything she'd pulled out and put it back.

  Jane ran most of the way to the bus station, besides the pace keeping her warm in the forty degree weather, she didn't want to miss any chances for a departure that evening. Standing in front of the board that listed all the departures, she felt overwhelmed. Aside of some drunks and ragged looking people talking to themselves, she was only one of a few normal characters in the place. Her eyes drifted to a metal rack that held brochures of various destinations. Montana was written in bold letters on one of them. It stuck in her mind, that was where Katherine had planned to retire with her husband. She bought the ticket, was pleased to see it would be leaving in ten minutes and quickly boarded. She'd make it out West with five dollars to spare. That was acceptable, she'd survived on less before.

  Out her window, Jane watched the moving landscape change as they continually passed through the states. The bus was practically empty, she sat alone and it was very peaceful. She had hour upon hour to contemplate the events of her past. The long ride was cathartic; she needed this time to try and come to terms with being at such a horrifically low point in her life that she'd actually tried to end her existence; that fact was tremendously frightening. She had to forgive herself, she had to repair her damaged self-confidence enough to know that it wouldn't and couldn't happen again. She let her tears flow freely down her cheeks, there was no one there to see them. This would be the last time she'd allow herself to dwell or focus on that event or any of the other hardships she'd endured. She had survived and that was all that mattered. The future, wide open with new possibilities, now lay at her feet.

  There was also one small matter she had to
ingest and accept; her physical metamorphosis. She knew she hadn't lost her mind, but there wasn't a logical or concrete explanation for the change either. She'd wait for the answer because trying to formulate one herself would indeed drive her crazy.

  The movement of the bus and the hum of the engine put her into a soothingly mesmerized state. Thoughts of Dr. Rye passed through her mind. She recalled the way he'd looked at her. No man had ever looked at her like that. She assumed it was the result of chemical attraction and she knew better than to trust it. She wasn't even sure if she liked it for this was all new to her. She wondered what his perception of her was; pretty, smart, stupid, sensitive, needy? Would people now give her the benefit of the doubt because she was attractive, that she wouldn't have to work so hard to prove she was smart, funny, someone they'd want to be friends with, worthy of being noticed, of being treated nicely and with respect. Things would be different now, she assumed people wouldn't mind being around her and that they'd even be open to becoming her friend. The only people who had ever wanted her friendship were Katherine and Rita. Being a nice person obviously wasn't enough, but being a nice person with a pretty face made a world of difference. Wrong and superficial, but accurate.

  For the first time, she opened the plastic hospital bag that contained her meager belongings and rifled through them. It was stuff from her car; old receipts, a can of mace, a few cassette tapes, lipstick, the nightgown she'd been wearing and her shattered watch that was permanently stopped at a quarter to three. Her hands stumbled upon a couple of pictures, one was of Katherine as a young woman with her children and the other was of Rita and her kids. She smiled at the recollection of the times she spent with these friends.

  Memories of Katherine came strongly into the forefront of her mind as the sun set magnificently over the expansive wheat fields of Kansas. The huge Midwestern sky turned a brilliant orange and red, setting the entire landscape on fire. As Jane gazed at the breathtaking sight, the inexplicable transformation she'd undergone suddenly made sense. She brought one of the pictures close to her face and stared at it; this was Katherine's body and face that she wore.

  It wasn't anything that could or should be explained, it just was. Katherine's life on this earth had ended just as Jane's had begun. This was Katherine's gift to her; it was a rebirth for both of them.

  "Miss, Miss, we're at the end of the line. Colton City bus terminal," the bus driver called out as Jane awoke.

  "Oh, yeah, thanks," she smiled, trying to gather her wits as she stood up and ventured off the bus to nowhere she knew.

  Luckily, it was sunny and rather warm that February afternoon. Jane's teeth chattered due to being chilled and nervous as she walked a little further down the street and came upon an old diner. She went in, was pleased to find the prices modest, ordered a small coffee, a sandwich and sat down. There were only a few other people there, they noticed the stranger but didn't say anything. An hour passed, she ate as slowly as she could for she was afraid to leave the comfort of the diner, not knowing where to go or what to do next. She knew she had to get some kind of work and find some sort of shelter, all by nightfall.

  She used up the rest of her bills to leave a tip and walked out into the fading sun. Now she was thoroughly cold as the temperature dropped out of the forties. There were people walking the streets, smiling and talking, greeting one another, going into little shops, buying food or meeting their loved ones. All of them had somewhere to go, except her and her confidence was rapidly weakening. The facts were harsh; she had no place to sleep, nothing to eat, no money and she didn't know a soul. She felt like crying. She had already walked around the small town square about four times and figured she'd better stop before someone would notice and question her sanity. She headed to the small park that sat on the edge of town and plopped down on a bench as she watched people pass by and waited for a direction or idea.

  Jane saw a gas station across from where she sat, there was a young man pumping gas into his truck. He occasionally glanced over at her. She wondered what she must look like sitting there, disheveled and with a dumb expression on her face. He probably figured her to be a vagrant or a drunk. At least he had a friendly look about him, maybe he could give her a job tip.

  She wanted to freshen up first before approaching anyone, so she kept her head down as she walked into the little gas station store and asked the old man at the counter where the facilities were.

  "Can't use the toilet 'less you buy something," he responded, a grumpy expression on his weathered face.

  "Oh, okay," she grabbed a pack of gum next to the register, "I'll take this."

  He looked at her like she was stupid, "gotta buy gas."

  "Gas? I don't have a car, I just want to use the bathroom. I'll be quick, I won't make a mess or vandalize it or whatever else you're afraid of. Can I please just use the bathroom?"

  There was a long pause, "Gotta buy gas," he repeated, obviously not touched by her plea or promises.

  She was dumbfounded and stood there gazing at him, unable to come up with any retorts. She heard a laugh behind her, it was the man who'd been pumping gas.

  "She's actually with me Willard, let her use the bathroom, I don't want a mess in my truck," he said with a smile.

  Willard's craggy countenance broke into a wide smile and then both men laughed as Jane's face burned red with embarrassment. He held out the key to her, she grabbed it and quickly walked out. While it was a relief to use the bathroom, there was no mirror in there. She washed her face and hands and tried to smooth her hair before returning the sacred key to Willard.

  The young man was just climbing into his truck when Jane walked over to him.

  "Hi," she said quietly, feeling awkward.

  "Hey," he replied.

  "I wanted to thank you for—you know."

  "Sure, no problem. Willard don't particularly like strangers," he explained.

  "Really, I couldn't tell," she commented.

  He laughed at her sarcasm.

  "Um, I'm new in town—as you can tell—and I was wondering if you know of any work around here."

  "What kind of work is it you do?" he inquired.

  "Anything really, I used to do nursing, but I can do other things..." she added, feeling stupid.

  "Ain't much work around here Ma'am, this is an agricultural community. Unless you can do ranch work," he informed her.

  "Is that kind of work available?"

  "There's always farm work. They need help at Red Oak, that's where I work, but I don't think they'd be interested in you. You could try Brayton's ranch, they need more of a cook-nanny type person," he suggested.

  "What kind of help do they need at Red Oak?" she persisted.

  "All around good farmhand; working with the animals, cleaning the barns and stables, mending fences, working the machinery, crops, gardening, etc."

  "I'd like to try for that position," she decided. "How far is it?"

  "Thirty miles that way, in Mare's Creek," he pointed to the main road leading out of town. "You can't walk there."

  "Maybe you could give me a ride in the back of your truck," she asserted, feeling desperate.

  "I don't think you can do ranch work, girl from the city, you don't look very big or strong," he laughed at her.

  "Well, I am strong and stubborn and I'll walk to that ranch if you don't want to help me out."

  He tried not to laugh, "You're intimidating me all right."

  "You have no idea how good I could kick your ass if I wanted to," she replied with a smile.

  There was something in the way she said it that made him believe she would at least try, even if unsuccessful.

  "Okay, you've convinced me. But you're not riding in the back of the pick-up, I ain't gonna have no frozen-dead city girl in the back of my truck," he stated adamantly, noticing she only wore a sweater.

  "Fine, my name's," she paused for a minute to think, "Kate, Kate Marsh."

  She climbed into the front seat of the vehicle and shut the door, k
eeping it unlocked in case she'd need to jump out for any reason. She also had a tiny spray can of mace in her plastic bag.

  "Eddie Kurtz, pleased to meet ya."

  They didn't talk much on the ride up to the ranch. Eddie had light brown hair that tended to fall over his green eyes. He was tall, lean, boyishly handsome and spoke in a pleasant but guarded manner and she did the same. He told her a little about the area; that Colton was the main town and Mare's Creek was the farming community outside of it. Jackson River City was the largest city in their part of the state and it was about an hour and a half away.

  The sun had faded, the air was bitter and Kate was very glad she was riding in Eddie's warm cab instead of wherever else she might have been. He stopped at the entrance of a gravel road and told her the farmhouse stood at the end of it. She thanked him again for the ride and the job information, whether she'd be successful or not. He sped away as soon as she stepped away from the truck. And then it was time to walk. She kept her head up and forged forward. On both sides of the small road were thick trees and miles of unending forest. It was like nothing she'd ever seen before.

  Just as Eddie had told her, she'd walked about a mile or two when she came upon a clearing and could see the large white farmhouse. Behind it was an enormous mountain range with snow-covered peaks. The sky was colored in soft shades of reds, pinks and oranges as the sun sank down behind those peaks. No painting or photograph could ever capture the magnitude of its splendor. Jane stopped in her tracks and just stared at it, feeling humbled. The Pennsylvania sky had never looked so vast or her mountains so colossal.

  "I don't know why this happened to me, but I'm grateful, do you hear me Katherine? I know this is my second chance and I'm determined to make the most of it. I'm thankful Katherine, I carry your memory with me," Kate said aloud to her surroundings, suddenly feeling spiritual.

  Only the sound of the wind racing across the fields and prairie answered her.

  A small child in the farmhouse had been looking out the window watching the pretty stranger that stood at the end of their long driveway.

 

‹ Prev