Why did she affect me this way? My thoughts should have been fixated on my girlfriend. Gretchen I could remember. This one…I didn’t even know her last name.
I studied her discreetly. Although she stood perfectly still I could sense a nervous vibration emanating from Risa. I wondered what she wanted to say to me. I was eager in fact.
Once the room cleared out Risa approached my bedside. “I want to apologize for earlier, Sir.”
That one beautiful word rolled off her tongue so sweetly. My cock stiffened in response. While it was an awkward time to reassert my lust, I was grateful in knowing that part of me hadn’t fled along with a six-month block of my memory.
She stood there with an expectant look on her lovely face. Risa really needed to learn how to hide her emotions lest I be tempted to take advantage of them. And I wanted to take advantage of them.
Badly.
“What for, Risa? Specifically if you please.”
I watched as she swallowed hard. She bit her lip in apparent nervousness before catching herself. She smiled again, brighter than before if it was possible and said, “I’m sorry for losing control of my emotions earlier today, Mr. Black-Price. I was overcome because I...we...were so scared that you’d be affected by your accident. I panicked when I realized you’d lost part of your memory. I couldn’t help myself, but I’m better now.”
Risa smiled again as if she were proud of herself. I wondered why that would be.
It all sounded neat and plausible, but I trusted my instincts. Risa was hiding something from me. Was it fear of losing her position because I couldn’t remember her? Was it vanity? Or was it worse? Was it her relationship with my brother?
I didn’t like my hesitation in asking. I didn’t want to suffer it one more moment.
“You were crying outside.”
Risa’s cheeks reddened. She tangled her fingers together. “I’m sorry you saw that. It won’t happen again—”
I brushed her assurances aside with one slash of my hand. Risa’s voice died out immediately.
“I don’t care about that, Risa. Are you fucking Leon Konstantinov?”
Risa’s face paled before turning bright red. I couldn’t stomach or deny my disappointment. I had my answer but I wanted her to say the words to me. Anything less would keep me fixated on her.
“Why would you think that?” Risa’s voice trembled. I could only assume it was embarrassment over being discovered.
“Answer the question.”
“No, I’m not! How dare you think that of me? Do you have any idea of how I feel about—”
“Risa.”
We both turned our heads to see my guardian come into the room. Elaine addressed Risa with her normal, cool efficiency. “A copy of today’s results are waiting for me on the second floor. Please bring them to the suite and wait until you are called down again.”
Risa’s luscious mouth pressed into a tight line. She obeyed after a moment’s hesitation. “Of course, Mrs. Black-Price. Excuse me.”
I watched her turn away from me without a backwards glance. Her small, exact steps betrayed her. I may not have remembered her, but knowing my personality I’d probably nicked her more than once with my tongue.
Unless I had tried to get her into bed. Then I was undoubtedly a silver-tongued bastard.
But I wouldn’t have done that, would I? I never mixed business with pleasure. I never got involved with an employee.
I suddenly felt remorse for angering and insulting her.
“Risa?”
She turned around. “What...” Risa cleared her throat. Her dark gaze met mine before darting away. It was glassy. The pain twisted in my gut at the sight. “Pardon me, Sir. What can I do for you?”
“I apologize for my earlier question. It is clearly none of my business. I stepped over the line.” I meant every word even though they scraped against my throat.
Her beautiful rose lips tightened. Although her voice was soft, I could clearly hear the hurt pulsing through each syllable. “Thank you, Sir. I will return as soon as you need me to.” Risa nodded to Elaine and then left the room.
I missed her already.
7
I had to put Risa from my mind. She wasn’t mine and never would be.
Although she’d yet to confirm her relationship with Leon, the fact that he cared enough to follow her out of the clinic was proof enough for me. Regardless of our lack of childhood history, Leon was my brother and I would never get personally involved with someone who’d been with him.
It was a matter of respect and loyalty.
Although how they could’ve developed a relationship in the first place wasn’t that much of a mystery the more I thought of it. Close quarters and all that.
Damn fate for being such a bitch. If I hadn’t been injured, Risa and I would’ve been back in the States. I was confident that our close quarters would’ve been close enough to develop into much more.
Even if I wouldn’t cross that line. Just knowing I was first in her thoughts would be enough for me.
“Things aren’t going well with your PA?”
This was unexpected. Elaine typically kept out of my affairs. “Why do you ask?”
“She was obviously upset with you, Damian. It wouldn’t do to damage your working relationship with her.”
“I’ll replace her if it comes to that,” I stated evenly even though the idea irked me. I had absolutely no memory of Risa from the time before first seeing her by my side. For all I knew she was a terrible PA, lazy, undisciplined, and more trouble than she was worth. But the feeling I had when with her didn’t care about her performance.
I just wanted Risa with me. Possession. Pure and simple.
Elaine picked up a pitcher and poured me a glass of water. I could see she was itching to say something more. I didn’t push, knowing from long-standing experience that she’d tell me sooner than later.
She brought me the glass and set it on my tray. I thanked her for it and took a sip to appease her into speaking.
“I overheard your question.”
I set the glass down carefully and waited with a raised brow.
“Risa is not involved with Leon.”
Fierce satisfaction rushed through me so quickly I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I barely managed to look uninterested.
“How can you be so sure?”
“She has been devoted to being by your side during these past months. She’s barely left it to eat, much less engage in sexual relations with Leon.”
“Is that so? She’s devoted to her position then. I must pay her well.”
“She’s very loyal.”
I voiced the question in my head. “Why did Leon run after her? There is something more there between them.”
My guardian’s lips turned upwards into a tiny smile. “I ordered him to.”
The tension eased out of me by slow degrees. “I see.”
“You don’t remember hiring her, but you shared her importance to making your life easier. Considering your refusal to hire an assistant until Risa, I assume it would behoove you to keep this one.”
I looked at Elaine directly. I heard everything that went unsaid.
“You approve of her.”
“Of course. She is the one you chose.”
“And you’re warning me not to run her off.”
“I am giving you advice based on what I know.”
I couldn’t deny the pleasure coursing through my veins. I didn’t have to deny my desire regarding Risa. No broken loyalty. Nothing to stop me.
Nothing except my relationship with Gretchen.
Disappointment wilted my triumph. I never let my relationships overlap. I wouldn’t start now. I needed to end things with Gretchen and I needed to do it in person.
It would be unpleasant but not unexpected.
We’d been circling down the drain for too long as it was. I’d hoped, once, for something more but it wasn’t meant to be. Gretchen was a mirage. I thought I could remake
her into something beautiful, pure, and mine.
I was wrong.
Considering how quickly I’d fixated on Risa, I knew without a doubt I had to let Gretchen go. She deserved much more than a lover who couldn’t wait to be done with his commitment.
“Thank you for your counsel, Elaine. You never fail me.”
She didn’t deny it. Instead, she took a seat by my side to keep me company. I appreciated it, but selfishly wanted a tiny curvy brunette to fill my ears with harmless chatter.
I didn’t like Risa being out of my sight. I wanted her back.
“Elaine?”
“Yes?”
“Do you know the extent of my relationship with Risa?”
She tilted her head just so. I remember seeing her do it a thousand times while growing up. I couldn’t remember it once during the winter. A small reminder, but one to demonstrate how much I’d lost during that time I went to sleep somewhere far from here. The hole in my head was a nasty beast, but I’d tame it like I did everything else.
“Clarification.”
“Am I involved with her?”
Elaine switched to Russian. “You ask this because you are attached to her, yes?”
I seamlessly followed suit. “I am.”
“What do you want to know that I can tell you?”
“Does she know about us?” I didn’t have to clarify that last word. It was code for Konstantinov.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
This much put me at ease. Risa only knew of my legitimate business and nothing of my secret life. I’d keep it that way.
“Who does she think Leon is?” Perhaps my jealousy would take longer to dominate into submission.
“She hasn’t asked. She’s been very well-behaved. Discreet and easy to manage. I think you have had a hand in this?”
I wish I could say I did. I didn’t know for sure, but I imagined she hadn’t quit for a reason.
Maybe we worked well together or she was naturally docile.
The possibilities were endless…if only I could remember.
I didn’t answer Elaine’s question.
“Is she in danger if her position changes from PA?”
8
The subtle teasing glint in my guardian’s eyes frosted over. “Yes.”
Things were much worse that I suspected. My personal life had never been a factor in Konstantinov dealings. Fury seeped through me, icing over all my softer emotions.
“How bad?”
“No one knows but for how long? You and Risa need to return to the States as soon as you’re cleared. The farther away you are from here the better.”
The picturesque view outside my window melted away as I imagined the wolves circling around my family. “How many losses?”
“Too many.”
“I need to know.”
“Not yet.”
The answer was unacceptable. “I tire of the secrecy, Elaine. Tell me now.”
“My first and only duty has been to see to your well-being. I will do this until the moment I die.”
I swallowed back the curses that yearned to fly from my mouth. Elaine was unmovable when she followed her duty. Nothing could sway her from the path. Not even me.
“I am nearly at full capacity.”
“No, you’re not. Do you think I have not talked to the doctors, Damian?”
I flexed my hand in frustration. Even I could see my strength wasn’t nearly what it should be. Dammit.
“Tell me this much. Are we striking back?”
“Every day.”
“Successfully.”
“Yes, but it’s not done yet.”
Death and vengeance. It was never-ending, but such was life in the Russian Mafia. These were the sacrifices given so that I would not become part of the cycle. But it would appear that my time had come to an end.
“Was I targeted, Elaine?”
“No. You were incidental. They think you were a guard.”
So who was the target? Was it a meeting? My blood grew cold.
“Where did it happen?”
Elaine gave me a look. I was trying to get my information any way I could. I detested not knowing the answers and I detested how slow my mind was working at coming up with the questions. Important questions at that.
“Outside of Clichy.”
“My father—”
“Would want you to rest and be safe. You know this, Damian. You will know what you need to know when the time is right. Do not undo all of his work.”
Although I was a grown man, a billionaire in his own right, I could not and would not go against my father or his commands. Despite a flare of frustration, I composed myself until I was confident all emotion was contained.
I was good at doing that. It was a small comfort in these circumstances but I took what I could.
“When can I leave?”
“Not for at least another three weeks.”
“That’s too long. I’ve been away from work.”
“Things are being handled. No one knows that you’re here.”
“Where am I supposed to be?”
“A retreat in Nepal.”
Things were definitely very bad if I needed to be hidden like this. Still, I wondered what my father had to say. I imagined my being here was under his command. I would’ve liked to see him, but that wasn’t how it worked.
I might see him tomorrow, next month, or next year. There wasn’t a timetable. He’d summon and I would answer. In this I was impeccably obedient.
“I see. Business as usual then.”
“It’s necessary.”
“Have you contacted Gretchen?”
Elaine paused before answering. “There was no need.”
This was completely unacceptable. I may have been ready to terminate our relationship, but the fact was Gretchen was still mine. She deserved respect and protection.
If I was targeted she would be too.
“You are aware we are involved, yes?”
“She is not needed here.”
“If I go missing Gretchen will ask and turn over stones she doesn’t need to see. Worse—she may be used as leverage. She needs to know.”
Elaine nodded. It was neutral at best. “I have kept her informed of your travels. She is fine. Her business is thriving and keeping her busy.”
I didn’t bother to point out the inconsistency in her story. I had to take care of it. Gretchen was discreet and quite busy with her own life, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t have worried or tried to track me down.
Those questions would make waves. Neither of us could afford to crash against the rocks because of it.
“I need Risa back here. Call her.”
Elaine got up. “Very well. I need to stretch my legs. I’ll send Ms. Kelly down.”
Kelly. So that’s her last name.
I watched as the woman who’d been the only mother-figure I’d ever had walked out. Outwardly unflappable, she still betrayed her agitation about Gretchen. She didn’t want her here.
Neither did I.
I didn’t believe Elaine’s reasons were due to outraged morals. At least, I didn’t think so. Her reasons were her own. I didn’t need to pry.
Instead, I allowed my mind to wander as I waited for Risa to come back to me. She wasn’t Leon’s which meant she was going to be mine. Even if only professionally. I’d keep her busy just so that she wouldn’t have the energy or ability to wander too far away from me.
And once we were back in the States, once all this was over, once it was safe, once Risa was no longer my PA, once I secured another path for her, then I’d show her who she belonged to.
It would be glorious. I’d take her, make her my pet, tie her in knots so that she couldn’t breathe without me. I would go slow, adding the links between us with a discreet hand. Training her would be…exquisite.
I just knew it would be.
I sat up straighter when I heard the cadence of her feet
coming my way. Already I recognized the sound of those particular steps.
Suddenly, I imagined stripping Risa of her clothes while running her a bath. The image was so vivid I’d swear it had happened.
Three weeks in this bed was already three weeks too long.
Risa walked in, expression arranged in a professional mask. How did I know this? I just did. This wasn’t the real Risa.
Whatever she saw in my face caused her to rush towards me. Her dark gaze swam with worry. “Are you all right, Sir? You look pale. I’ll call the doctor.”
Risa turned away. My hand shot out and captured her wrist. “It’s not necessary.”
“But—”
I hated that she saw me as an invalid. I couldn’t wait to get out of this damned room more than ever. “Forget about it.” Seeing Risa was about to argue with me, I cut through her well-meaning protests. “I have something I need you to do.”
Risa stared at me a moment longer than necessary. She practically vibrated with the apparent desire to overrule my judgment.
I tightened my jaw. Regardless of how much I wanted to fuck her until she couldn’t move a muscle, I didn’t deal well with insubordination. Risa would not prove to be the exception.
“Are you or are you not my PA?”
Risa straightened. She licked her lips and answered me softly, “I am.”
Seeing that pink tongue made me imagine it flicking all up and down my shaft. Thwarted desire made my voice rougher than necessary. “Are you sure of it? From where I’m sitting you appear to have difficulty with accepting my direction. Is this going to continue to be a problem, Miss Kelly?”
“No, Sir.”
“Are you sure?”
I let go of her wrist. The feeling of her silken flesh beneath mine was such a sweet sensation. I wanted to touch her again. I balled my hand into a fist to keep from running my fingers along her arm.
“Absolutely, Sir.”
Risa crossed her hands. Her entire being radiated submissiveness. My cock, already hard, strained to cross the line into painful. My imaginations took control of me.
I immediately saw Risa kneeling by my feet. She had her hands crossed on her lap, much like she was now, except her head was bent and Risa was completely naked.
Her full breasts, tiny waist, rounded hips and ass—I could see them as clearly as I could see her now. My mouth watered. I already knew how hard her nipples could get when I sucked them.
My Love Break Page 3