Forever Buckhorn

by Lori Foster

  “I wanted to bring something to the cookout today. I’m looking forward to it.”

  Georgia’s heart swelled. The kids had talked about little else for the past few days and her mother’s eyes glowed with just the mention of the gathering. Georgia hadn’t realized how isolated, how withdrawn from society she’d kept them all. Between working so much, both at the bar and on the house, there’d been little time for playing. It seemed every day she found another way that she’d failed the ones she loved most.

  “I’m sorry. I hadn’t thought about how lonely you might have been.”

  Ruth shook her head. “Or how lonely you’ve been?”

  She started to deny that, but Ruth took her coffee cup and set it aside, then clasped both of Georgia’s hands and squeezed them. “Georgia, it’s okay to admit it, you know.” Her mother met her gaze squarely and stated, “It’s also okay to want a man.”

  “Mother!” Georgia felt a hot blush begin creeping up her neck.

  “Oh, don’t give me that tone.” Ruth paid no heed to her daughter’s embarrassment. “I’m older, not dead. I know how it is. And Jordan is…well, he’s a potent male. Personally I think you’re downright foolish to keep putting him off.”

  Georgia thought she might fall through the floor with her mother’s words. “He is potent, and that’s what scares me.” In a softer voice, she admitted, “It’d be so easy to love him.”

  “So?” Ruth sounded totally unconcerned with her plight. “The kids and I love him, so you might as well, too.”

  Georgia shook her head. “It isn’t that easy, Mom. I thought I loved Dennis—”

  “You did love Dennis. And I think he honestly loved you. He was just young, Georgia. Young and foolish.” Ruth hesitated, then said, “Let’s sit down. I want to tell you something.”

  Georgia agreed, but she also snatched back her coffee cup. No way could she handle all this without some caffeine. Luckily the kids were still sleeping soundly, giving them some quiet time alone.

  As Georgia refilled her cup, she looked around her home. Everything was in order now. Oh, there were still plenty of repairs to be made, but nothing crucial. She could finally see the end of the tunnel. And beyond the material things, her children were more lively than they’d ever been. They’d flourished under all the added attention from Jordan and his family.

  Morgan had dubbed them “official deputies” and given them both badges to wear. Casey took them swimming and boating and taught them both how to fish. Saywer had let them listen to their own heartbeats with his stethoscope. The women had praised Lisa for helping with the babies and had convinced Adam that he was the handsomest guy in Buckhorn, even more so than Gabe—which made her shy son start strutting.

  And Jordan…Georgia sighed just thinking about him. It amazed her that one man could truly be so wonderful. He’d gone with them to find salamanders in the woods behind the house. One day he had even paid them to help him at his office, though Georgia knew they’d been in the way more than not. Still, he never seemed to mind. They started the day talking about him, and often wanted to call him in the evening to tell him good-night.

  “Georgia?”

  She hadn’t realized that she’d stopped in the middle of the floor and was just standing there. She looked at her mother, saw her caring and love and acceptance, and she burst into tears.

  Ruth didn’t cry with her. As she got out of her seat to embrace her daughter, she gave a sympathetic chuckle. “Love is the damndest thing, isn’t it?”

  Georgia tried to mop her eyes and hold on to her coffee at the same time. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “You’re going to tell him.” Ruth held her away so she could see her face, and nodded when Georgia shook her head. “Sweetheart, don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t waste your time being afraid. Sometimes you just have to take a few chances, and I think Jordan’s worth the risk, don’t you?”

  With a shuddering breath, Georgia reached for a napkin off the counter and blew her nose. She whispered, “He’s never said anything about loving me.”

  “So? Your father dutifully told me every night that he loved me. But it would have meant so much more if he’d shown me instead. If he’d cared when I was tired or sick. If he’d held me when I was upset.”

  Georgia stared at her mother. If he’d given her foot rubs and held her when she was afraid and loved her children…. Her father had never really loved her, not the way she loved Adam and Lisa.

  As if she’d read her thoughts, Ruth nodded. “Jordan has shown you that he cares in more ways than I can count.”

  “Oh, God.” Her mother was right. From the moment she’d met Jordan, she’d known he was different. True, he was pushy and arrogant and determined—but according to his family, he only behaved that way when he really cared about something. Or someone. She didn’t want to rely on him, but…maybe it would be okay. Maybe depending on him to share with her, to give and let her give, too, wouldn’t be so bad. If she could only balance her independence against what he made her feel….

  But she knew she’d always hate herself if she didn’t at least give him a chance. “I’ll tell him today.”

  Ruth laughed out loud. “That’s wonderful!” She hugged Georgia again before gently pushing her into a seat at the table. “Now, how about a cookie to celebrate?”

  From the doorway, Adam and Lisa said, “I want one, too!” and as Georgia opened her arms to her children, still sleepy warm from their beds, she thought that she had to be the luckiest woman alive. Perhaps after today, she’d also be the most fulfilled.

  JORDAN HEARD her car pull up and walked around to the front of the house. People had been arriving all afternoon, and he’d been anxiously waiting for her. He’d found a studio, and he could barely wait to discover her reaction to that.

  The moment they saw him, Adam and Lisa jumped out and came running, followed by Ruth. Jordan was barely able to swallow down his emotion as he embraced both children. They chatted ninety miles a minute, telling him about all the cookies their grandma had made and about the pictures they’d colored for him to decorate his office, and about a frog they’d found in the backyard.

  “Jus’ like you tol’ us to, we played with it and then turned it loose.”

  Jordan stroked Adam’s downy hair, warmed by the sun. “I’m sure the frog appreciates it. They’re not meant to be pets.”

  Lisa nodded. “We remembered.” Then she leaned forward to whisper, “’Sides, Grandma hates frogs.”

  Jordan was still chuckling when Ruth and Georgia reached his side. Ruth gave him a hug, though Georgia looked shyly away, prompting him to curious speculation. Following the lead her mother and children had set, Jordan pulled Georgia close for a hug. To his surprise, she briefly nuzzled her nose into his throat and sighed.

  Just that easily, he was aroused. Of course, he stayed semiaroused around her anyway.

  Trying to discern her mood, Jordan studied her and only vaguely heard Ruth announce that she and the kids were taking the cookies to Honey. Georgia waited until she’d gone, then licked her lips in a show of nervousness.

  Jordan touched her hair, teased by the warm afternoon breeze. He loved how the golden-brown curls framed her face and how the sunlight glinted in them. “Georgia?” His voice was husky, affected by more than his sexual need of her. He wanted her, all of her. Forever. “Is something wrong?”

  He took her arm and started her toward the back of the house where everyone was gathered. He could feel the tension emanating from her and sought to make her more at ease by rubbing her back.

  Her eyes closed and she moaned softly, then suddenly blurted, “I have something I want to tell you.”

  Jordan tensed. He could tell by her expression that she wasn’t completely comfortable with what she had to say. If she thought to try pulling away from him, after they were finally getting so close, she could damn well think again. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. Jordan could hear the others ch
atting in the backyard as they rounded the house, though Georgia seemed oblivious.

  “I’ve been going over everything you said.” She peeked a look at him, then frowned in concentration. “That last night at the bar, I mean.”

  Jordan nodded. “I want to talk about that, too.” He now had options for her, viable options. He hoped she’d be pleased.

  She stared at him in sudden horror. “You’ve changed your mind? You don’t want me anymore?”

  “What?” Jordan jerked around to stare at her. “No,” he said, his frown deepening. “Hell, no. Where’d you get that crazy idea?”

  “I thought—” She shook her head and started walking again. “I thought maybe, because I pushed so hard, you’d decided to leave me alone now.”

  “Georgia.” How could she possibly think such a thing? Leave her alone? He couldn’t even stop thinking about her, so how would he keep away?

  They had just stepped into the backyard when she drew a deep breath and said, “That’s good, because…I want you, too.” She looked up at him, her eyes so pale in the sunlight. “Jordan, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted any man as much as I want you. What…what you did to me the other night? That was wonderful and I loved it. I haven’t been able to think of much else. But I want more than that.” She stared him right in the eyes and whispered, “I want to feel you inside me and I want to watch your face when you come, and I want to hear your voice and hold you. I want that so badly I can’t stand it anymore.”

  Jordan sucked in a huge breath of air, but it didn’t help. Just that quickly he had an erection that threatened the seams of his jeans. Every muscle in his body shook.

  And then the sound of conversation intruded and he looked around, seeing himself surrounded by family and neighbors. Luckily no one was paying them any attention.

  He groaned aloud. Georgia finally admitted to wanting him, and there wasn’t an ounce of privacy to be found. “Sweetheart, you really know how to make a man crazy.”

  She stared up at him, her eyes full of questions. And invitation. “It’s fair. You’ve certainly made me nuts.” She reached up and touched his face. “Can I ask you something?”

  Jordan put his arm around her and led her to the side of the yard, as far away from the others as he dared to go without drawing a lot of attention. “You can ask me anything, Georgia. Don’t ever forget that.”

  Her smile was so sweet and gentle. He loved her mouth. Damn, how he loved her mouth.

  “If,” she said, looking uncertain once again, “I didn’t want to be involved with you. If I made it clear that I had no feelings for you at all—”

  “Then I’d respect your wishes, even if it killed me.”

  She went on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. “I already knew that. You’re not a man to ever force a woman in any way.”

  Jordan laughed at her assumptions. “I’d do my damnedest first to convince you.”

  “You already have. Done your damndest and convinced me. But you’re such a seducer with that sexy voice—” she touched his mouth with one fingertip “—it wasn’t that hard.”

  The way she touched him, how she looked at him, took him to the edge. In a rasp, he said, “Speak for yourself.”

  She understood his meaning and glanced down at his fly. “Oh.” Warmth colored her cheekbones, making him nuts, but when he went to kiss her, she said, “Jordan, it was something else I was going to ask.”

  “Tell me.”

  “If we had no personal relationship, would you still want to see my kids? Or would you suddenly disappear from their lives?”

  Jordan didn’t give a damn if everyone in Buckhorn saw him. He cupped her face in his hands and took her mouth in a kiss meant to offer reassurance and so much more. When he lifted away, she clung to him, as unconcerned with their audience as he was. “I love your kids, sweetheart. I’d never do that to them.”

  Tears glistened on her lashes. “That’s what I thought.”

  Jordan knew what she was getting at. Their own father had walked away, just as his had. For whatever reason, her ex had been able to give up his own two offspring, never knowing if they were all right, if they needed him or not.

  But Jordan was different. He’d never before realized exactly how different until that moment. “I used to worry about my father,” he said. “Not about his well-being, but whether or not people would associate me with him. Like your ex-husband, he split after the divorce and no one has seen him since. Not a single phone call, not even a card. If I died, I’m not sure he’d know, or even care.”

  Jordan shrugged and admitted, “There’ve been times when I hated him because I felt so ashamed. Not because he wasn’t here, but because my brothers had respectable, honorable, loving fathers and yet my father was a huge mistake.”

  His throat felt raw as he told her things he’d never said to another living soul. “I wanted to hold myself to a higher standard, to prove to myself and to everyone else that I was better than that, better than him.”

  Georgia put her arms around him and rested the side of her face on his chest. He cupped the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her soft curls.

  He smiled when she said, “You’re the best person I’ve ever met.” But then she added, “You make me feel so inferior.”

  Jordan abruptly pushed her back so he could scowl into her face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  She lifted her shoulders in a slow shrug. “I know it probably bothers you to want me. I got pregnant at sixteen, I’ve already been divorced and I dance in a bar.” Her smile was sad and fleeting. “I’m hardly anybody’s idea of a ‘higher standard.’”

  Rage washed over him, making him break out in a sweat. His vision narrowed to her face, a face he loved. He gave her a quick, sharp shake. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again!”

  “Jordan!” She glanced around, reminding him that they weren’t alone. “Someone will hear you.”

  It took all his concentration to lower his voice, to temper his fury. Tears filled her eyes again, slicing into him like the sharpest blade. It was her vulnerability that gained him some control. He pulled her into his chest and held her tight. “I never thought,” he whispered against her forehead, “that I’d meet someone as beautiful as you. Do you know what I see when I look at you, Georgia?”

  She shook her head.

  “I see a woman who will do anything she has to in order to take care of the people who depend on her. A woman with enough strength and courage and honor to beat the odds, and still be so incredibly sweet that it breaks my heart just to look at her.”

  Georgia’s self-conscious laugh teased along his senses. He felt her wipe her eyes on his shirt and wished he was alone with her. She filled him with lust, broke his heart with her gentleness and humbled him with her strength.

  “You make me sound like a conquering Amazon,” she whispered.

  He put his mouth close to her ear. “From the moment I saw you,” he breathed, relishing her scent and her softness, “I was so hot to have you I nearly ground my teeth into powder. That’s never happened to me before. I stay so aroused I ache, but I only want you.”

  Her hands fisted in his shirt. “Me, too. I want you so much, it scares me.”

  He didn’t want her to fear him, but he’d explain that to her later. “I think you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. And the more I got to know you, the worse it became, because your sexiness is earthy. It isn’t just about your gorgeous body, or the way you move or how you look at me. It’s you. Everything about you, Georgia. Do you understand?”

  She nodded. “All right.”

  Jordan suddenly felt someone behind him. He jerked around and found Morgan and Gabe both breathing down his neck.

  “Hey,” Morgan said, as if he hadn’t just intruded. “You two are embarrassing everyone, me included. Why don’t you find a room somewhere?”

  Gabe shoved Morgan. “You’re so crude.” Then to Georgia: “Put him out of his misery, sweetheart. Jordan isn’t u
sed to this kind of excitement. Sawyer says it isn’t good for his heart.”

  Georgia covered her face and laughed. Jordan thought about tossing his brothers into the lake. But then Morgan whispered, “You know, the gazebo is real private. Everyone is getting ready to eat and I can keep the kids occupied if you two want to go…talk things over.”

  Jordan looped his arm around Georgia and pulled her to his side. He peered around the yard. Zenny and Walt and Newton waved to them. Georgia groaned, but waved back. Howard and Jesse were arguing—as usual.

  Morgan’s enormous dog, Godzilla, had the kids well occupied. Lisa, Adam and Amber were all petting him and Godzilla rested on his back in doggy bliss, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. Godzilla looked more like the missing link than a pet, but he was about the sweetest creature Jordan had ever seen. Even Honey’s calico cat liked the dog. She sat next to Lisa, getting her own pet every now and then and rubbing her head against Godzilla’s hip.

  “Will you look at my mother?” Georgia said in awe.

  Jordan followed the direction of Georgia’s gaze and found Ruth in animated conversation with Misty’s and Honey’s bachelor father. Damned if there wasn’t a bright blush on her face, too. Well, well, Jordan thought. He wasn’t crazy about the man, despite how he’d softened since his daughters had joined the family, but whatever he said to Ruth must have been complimentary because she hadn’t stopped smiling once.

  He heard a laugh and noticed Casey was sitting beneath a shade tree, surrounded by female admirers. Gabe nodded toward Casey, chuckling. “They’ve been after him all day. He can’t get himself a cola without them all trailing behind.”

  Even as Gabe spoke, Emma walked up to the group. She wore another halter top that showed more than it concealed and shorts that should have been illegal. She was barefoot, carrying her sandals, and Casey made an obvious point of not looking at her, at completely ignoring her existence—until two of the girls said something obviously snide. Emma, head bowed, started to walk away and within two heartbeats Casey was at her side. They appeared to disagree on something for just a moment, then Casey shook his head, slung his arm around her shoulders, and practically dragged her off.