“Yes, and you’re in love with Scorpio. The two of you have a baby on the way, and—”
“And it’s still not going to stop me from missing you.”
“So what do you want me to do? Hey, I’m happy with who I’m with. You are so wrong coming to me like this, and you know it.”
“Why? Because you’re feeling the same way about me? I know you are, Nokea. I can tell.”
“Just like you can tell I’ve been dreaming about you too, right?”
“That’s why I’m here this morning. I sensed your dream and came here to make it a reality.”
In an effort to cut the tension, I laughed. I stood up to turn on the TV. He grabbed my hands on my way back over to the bed. I stood in front of him, and he rubbed his hands together with mine.
“Jaylin, go home. Work things out with Scorpio.”
He closed his eyes and placed his head against my stomach. When he sat up straight, he reached for the belt on my robe to untie it. I held my belt. Seeing that I wasn’t going to let him undo it, his hands swayed to my legs. Searching even further, his hands went up my robe, and he reached for my panties to pull them down.
I was foolishly caught up in the moment, and while stepping out of my panties, I pulled his shirt over his head. He scooted back on the bed and removed his pants. Lying naked in bed, he had me hooked. We stared at each other and waited for the next move.
I looked at his goods that had already expanded past his navel, and willing to take the next move, I dropped my robe to the floor. I eased my way up to him on my knees and came face to face with him. He cradled my face in his hands. The moment our lips touched, there was no turning back for me. Past feelings resurfaced.
I laid my body on top of his and felt his long, hard muscle pressing against my stomach. Taking control, he rolled on top and kneeled down in front of me. He held my legs together and pushed my knees close to my chest. Having a clear vision of my insides, he rubbed himself against me and forced his way into my wetness.
I took deep breaths and backed away from the man I still had a difficult time handling. He could feel how tense I was, and inched his way slightly out. I guess trying to make it easier for me, he took his time and refused to give me all of him. His eyes were focused in on his insertions below, and I could tell he was concentrating hard on making me come.
Moments later, the heat was coming down, and Jaylin was teasing my clit in a way only he knew how to do. He widened my legs, and feeling every bit of him now, I covered my face. I couldn’t believe this was happening. The lovemaking was perfect and almost brought me to tears.
He saw how into him I was, and leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Collins ain’t working my pussy right, is he?”
I had the nerve to agree, and responded with the truth. “No, never. Never like you.”
He smiled and continued to stroke. “Well, if your pussy ever needs me again, remember, I’m just a phone call away.”
“We need you now, so hush.”
Jaylin rubbed my hair back and looked deeply into my eyes without moving. He pecked my lips with his. As he put me into another position, a noise came from LJ’s room. My bedroom was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Neither one of us wanted this to end, so we listened for LJ to make another noise. He didn’t, so we continued. Jaylin smiled and so did I. He drenched my insides again.
After we were getting deeply into it once again, LJ cried out loud. Jaylin lowered my leg and dropped his head on my chest.
“Damn,” he said. “You have got to let me finish.”
“I . . . I wish I could, but I can’t,” I said as LJ’s cries got louder.
Jaylin let out a deep sigh and eased himself out of me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, getting out of bed.
“Don’t be. Just promise to make it up to me some other time.”
I made no comment, put on my robe, and hurried to see about LJ.
Jaylin slid into his jeans, and when I put LJ down by the doorway, he walked over and tried to climb in bed with Jaylin. With my bed being up so high, Jaylin reached down and picked him up.
“We make a cute little family, don’t we?” he said.
“Please don’t go getting any ideas. You know more than I do that sex between us should have never happened.”
“Well, it did. You can’t change it, and you for damn sure can’t say you didn’t want it to happen.”
“So you made my dream a reality. Now, would you get out of here before my man finds out you’re over here?”
“Damn, just throw me out. Use me for my shit and then tell me to get to stepping.”
“It’s not like that. I want you to go home because I’m sure your woman is looking for you. Remember, I’ve been in her shoes before, and I can only imagine how she would feel if—”
“Okay, I’m leaving. Right after you cook breakfast for me and my son.”
“Breakfast? I’m not cooking you any breakfast.”
“Then I’m staying right here. You already got me leaving empty handed.” He looked down at his goods. “And then you don’t want to feed me?”
“You need to talk to your son about why you’re leaving empty handed. It wasn’t my fault.”
Jaylin looked at his watch. “I got all day, baby. As soon as you get breakfast over with, I’m outtie.”
Seeing that he wasn’t going anywhere, I whipped up a quick breakfast. Collins was expected to stop by this morning, so I rushed Jaylin to leave.
No sooner than we finished eating, Collins rang the doorbell. I rolled my eyes at Jaylin and made my way to the door.
Collins could barely get inside. “Is Jaylin over here?” He looked at Jaylin’s Mercedes in the driveway.
I leaned in for a kiss. “Uh-huh. He’s in the kitchen with LJ. He just stopped by for breakfast with his son.”
Collins headed for the kitchen, and I followed behind him, fidgeting. Jaylin was finishing up his orange juice, with LJ sitting on his lap. Jaylin had a wide, smirky grin as he reached out to shake Collins’ hand.
“Hey, man. What’s been up?” Jaylin asked.
“Too much,” Collins said. “All this hard work has been killing me.”
“I wouldn’t know nothing about that, but don’t stress yourself too much.”
“I try not to,” Collins said, sitting down. “I’m on my way to Detroit tonight. A couple fellas down there been embezzling money from the business and selling our products at a discount. I gotta go find out what’s going on before it’s too late.”
Jaylin leaned back in his chair and looked at me. “Are you going too?”
“No. I have plans to do something else.”
He rubbed his goatee and gave off a soft snicker. “Well, I’m getting ready to take off. Can I take LJ with me, or do y’all have plans?”
“I’ll bring him by later. Maybe after I drop off Collins at the airport.”
“Cool,” he said, standing up. “Collins, good seeing you, man. Take care of my babies for me.”
“Always.”
I walked Jaylin outside, and when he talked about finishing up what we started tonight, I shook my head.
“No, Jaylin, and I mean it. I’m calling Nanny B to come get LJ later, because you and I will never be alone again.”
“Why? ’Cause you can’t handle it?”
“Maybe I can’t. But I don’t get a kick out of hurting the people I love. I’m not going to allow you to interfere with my relationship.”
“You’ve already allowed me to do that. But if you didn’t learn anything from our encounter today, I hope you see now how easy it is for you to cheat on somebody you say you love. Happens to me all the time.”
“Good-bye, Jaylin.”
“Adios, Nokea.”
He got in his car and left.
I thought about what Jaylin had said. Never in my wildest dream did I think I would be so willing to go there with him again. Especially since I was so happy and in love with Collins. I waited an entire lifetime to find some
one like him, and there was no way I was going to let Jaylin have the upper hand. I promised myself to never let something like that happen again, but I also knew that promises could be broken.
7
JAYLIN
On the drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened between Nokea and me. She was tighter than a motherfucker, but as usual, her pussy was just how I liked it. And the truth of the matter was, I had been missing her tremendously. For many years, we had each other for support, and if a brotha like Collins ever thought he could permanently take her away from me, he was sadly mistaken. I knew Nokea would always be there for me, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I just never thought that getting her back in bed with me would come so easily. I seriously thought, out of all people, she would be faithful to her man. But again, that’s just what I thought.
As for Scorpio, I wasn’t trying to play her like I did, but I’d had enough of her rejection. I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her. She acted like she didn’t even want me to touch her. If I even looked like I wanted to make love, she’d clam up and act like she wasn’t feeling me. Now, what woman in her right mind would turn down what I presented to her the other night? I’d be damned if I put myself out there again, and if I found out she was giving my shit up to somebody else, only the Lord knew what was going to happen to her. As for her seeing another man, the signs were definitely there. I wasn’t going to be a fool for anyone, and I hoped she wasn’t going to try to play me for one.
I had some regrets about having sex with Nokea today, but I always had to somehow, or some way, protect myself from being hurt. I’d had enough hurt from past women in my life, and it didn’t make sense for me to ever let my guard down. Until I found out what was up with Scorpio, if some pussy that I wanted was within my reach, I was taking it.
I got home at almost ten o’clock in the morning. Nanny B was in her room catching up on some rest, since Mackenzie and Scorpio were gone. When I asked where they had gone, she told me she didn’t know, and asked me to close the door on my way out.
Since Scorpio wasn’t around, I used the phone in my room to call Daisha. I’d left several messages for her, but she hadn’t called me back. When she didn’t answer this time, I left a message saying I was thinking about her and my baby, and told her I’d call back later.
Afterward, I called the barbershop to holla at Stephon. He asked me to hold on and gave the phone to Mona.
“What’s up, Mona?” I asked.
“Daisha’s going to kill me for telling you this, but she was admitted to the hospital yesterday.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know. Something with the baby.”
“What hospital is she at?”
“Where does she work?”
“St. Lukes?”
“Yes, Jaylin. And please don’t tell her I told you, okay?”
“I won’t, and thanks for telling me. Let me talk to Stephon.”
“Yo,” he said.
“Have you seen Daisha lately?”
“Naw, man. Mona just told me what happened today. I know they’ve met up a few times; other than that, everything’s been kind of hush-hush.”
“Well, I’m on my way to the hospital. I’ll catch up with you, Shane, and Ray-Ray later.”
“If we ain’t at the shop, come by my place.”
“Will do.”
I hung up and hurried off to the hospital to see Daisha. When I got there, I had a hard time finding her. Finally, when I saw Carolyn, a chick I used to hang out with in college, working there, she told me she knew who Daisha was and walked me to her room.
Daisha was sleeping. Trying not to wake her, I took a seat in one of the chairs. I was thirty minutes into watching Judge Mathis when one of the nurses came in. She asked if I was Daisha’s brother because we resembled each other. I informed her that I was the father of Daisha’s baby and asked her Daisha’s condition. As she was about to tell me, Daisha’s eyes slowly opened and connected with mine. She had a disturbing look on her face. The nurse asked if she needed anything, but Daisha told her all she needed was privacy.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked.
“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Judy.”
Judy smiled at Daisha and closed the door on her way out.
She sadly looked at me. “So, you finally found some time for us, huh?”
“Woman, please. I’ve been calling you like crazy. I told you if you needed anything to call me.”
“That’s what your mouth said,” she snapped. “All I wanted to do was talk. You never made any time for us to do that.”
“I tried . . . really, I did. Besides, I’m here now. So how are you feeling?”
Daisha took a hard swallow and her eyes watered. “I’m feeling as good as I’m going to get.”
“How’s the baby?”
With attitude, she gave me an angry stare and spoke sharply. “Why don’t you go see for yourself?”
“You had him already? You still had at least three to four months to go, didn’t you?”
“He’s premature, Jaylin. He only weighs a pound and a half, and the doctors—” She covered her face with her hands.
“The doctors said what?”
Daisha started crying and refused to say anything else to me. Dying to know what was up, I left the room and looked around for Judy. When I found her, I asked her to take me to where my baby was. She did, and when she pointed to my son, I damn near wanted to cry myself. He was so tiny that he could have fit in the palm of my hand. He was in an incubator with all kinds of tubes attached to him. The sight of him fighting for his life sent chills through my body.
Knowing that I was his father, Judy told me to wash my hands and made me put on gloves and a gown to cover up. Once my mouth was covered, so I wouldn’t spread any germs, she held my baby in her hands without removing him from the incubator.
“If you’d like to hold him, you’ll have to hold him like this,” she said.
I reached for my son, and not able to hold him for one damn minute, I put him back down and lost it. I was full of emotions as I snatched the gown away from my chest. I tossed the gloves in the trash and stormed out, removing the mask from my mouth.
I fought back my tears all the way to Daisha’s room. When I opened the door, I fell beside her bed, touching her hands. “I’m so damn sorry,” I yelled and pounded my fist on her bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
At first, she didn’t say anything, but when I dropped my head on the bed, she reached over and rubbed it. “It’s not your fault, okay? A few weeks ago, my doctor told me that I’d have a difficult pregnancy, but I didn’t listen. My blood pressure was way up, and I have diabetes. He advised me to cut back on my hours, but I thought working would keep my mind off the stress I’d been under.”
I gathered myself and sat on the bed next to Daisha. No matter what she said, I still felt at fault. “What are his chances of surviving like that? And don’t go making up shit so you don’t hurt my feelings.”
She took another hard swallow, and a few tears rolled from the corner of her eyes. “His chances are slim. My doctor said there’s pretty much no way he’s going to survive. I’m trying to remain hopeful, but this isn’t the first time I’ve lost a child.”
I figured that was what Daisha wanted to speak to me about, and I felt like a fool for not going to see her when I had a chance. I got in bed with her, allowing her to rest her head on my shoulder. “Don’t give up yet, okay? You don’t seem like a person who gives up so easily, so don’t go doing it now.”
I stayed all night at the hospital with Daisha, and neither one of us could get any sleep. Deep down, we both knew the baby wouldn’t make it. When Judy came in early in the morning and broke the news to us, we held each other and released our emotions. My pain was because, just maybe, had I been there for her, things would have turned out differently. And no matter how much Daisha played it down like she wasn’t tripping off me not being there, I knew she
somewhat held me responsible.
I didn’t want to make the same mistake with Scorpio, so I called home to tell her where I was. Nanny B answered, and after I mentioned to her what had happened, she told me she was sorry to hear that and then gave the phone to Scorpio.
“Listen, I apologize for not calling you sooner, but I’ve been at the hospital with Daisha all night.”
“All night, Jaylin? For what? I don’t care what was going on; you should have called me. I’ve been worried. We really need to talk, because I can’t go on living like this.”
I knew she was upset with me about my bullshit, but I just couldn’t leave Daisha’s side. “I understand your concerns. We’ll talk as soon as I get home.”
“Fine. Now, is everything okay?”
“Not really. Daisha lost the baby, and I’m just trying to offer her my support.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but how are you doing? Are you okay?”
My throat ached. “Uh-uh. But I’m happy that I got another baby to look forward to. Take care of my baby, all right? And I’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll do my best. See you when you get home.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
I stayed with Daisha almost the entire day. We talked about the baby and agreed to take our friendship one day at a time. She was glad to have me with her, and I couldn’t think of any other place I’d rather be.
Later that day, I think Daisha kind of got tired of me being around.
“It’s time for you to go home. Besides, I’m getting sleepy,” she said.
I kissed her forehead and eased out of bed. “Since they’re releasing you from the hospital tomorrow, if you call me, I’ll pick you up and take you home.”
“You don’t have to. Mona’s taking me home tomorrow. I don’t think I’m ready for us to be seeing each other like that yet.”
“Can I at least call you? And you know we have to make some arrangements for our son.”
“Let’s just keep it simple. I’ve suffered enough.”
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